Sunday, March 31
On the other side of the shadowy living room, Beck heard Seth roll over on the inflatable mattress he’d blown up twenty minutes ago before letting out a heavy sigh.
He understood. It had been a long fucking night of blindsides and shock. The sun would be up in a couple of hours. Then he’d have to deal with all the shit, so he needed to shut his eyes and get some sleep. But his goddamn brain wouldn’t stop spooling with ramifications and what-ifs.
Not everything had ended up a clusterfuck. Heavenly was safe. Abel was getting the quality care he deserved. Their scum-sucking landlord was in agony. And finally, his girl was under his roof…just not the way he’d envisioned. In his fantasies, he was in bed with her. Hell, he was inside her. But nothing about this situation was optimal. The secrets she’d harbored—no, the lies she’d told—were tough to swallow, but he’d also plowed face first into one indisputable fact:
Tonight, everything had changed.
Ten feet away, Seth rustled on the sheet again and groaned.
Beck turned over on the sofa. “Hey, if you’re jacking off, take that shit to the bathroom. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Like I’d ever jack off in the same room with you.”
“Glad to hear you’ve got some standards.”
“Why the fuck would you think I’d jack off anywhere near you?”
“I saw your face after Heavenly pranced into the kitchen wearing that tight little kitten nightie.” The word PURRFECT had stretched across her perky tits. She hadn’t been wearing a bra. For a long moment, Beck had just stared. He didn’t have to guess that Seth had gotten hard at a glance because, despite his fucking exhaustion, his own dick had roared to life. “I know damn well you were fixating on her kitty underneath.”
“And you weren’t? Please…”
“No. I’m guilty as hell. But I’m willing to admit it.”
“Of course I wanted to fuck her. Is that really news?” He sighed again, the sound dripping frustration. “Now go to sleep. It’s been a long damn day.”
“No shit.” Beck gnawed on the side of his cheek. Yeah, he should probably leave it alone, but he couldn’t. “If you’re so tired, why aren’t you already snoring?”
Seth sat straight up. “Probably for the same reason you’re not. I’m in a hundred knots because everything is so fucked up and none of this shit changes how I feel about her. You know the funny part? Heavenly isn’t even my type.”
Beck had to laugh. “Hell, she’s not my usual, either.”
“What’s with that? I mean, I prefer women with a lot more experience. They’re usually more adventurous and they damn sure know what they want. I don’t even remember the last time I nailed one younger than me. I haven’t taken a virgin since high school.”
“Well, I never have.”
“Never? Really? No backseat action? No prom night nookie?”
I went to prom with a hooker. “No. I always avoided them.”
“Took a while, but I wised up too when I realized they always want a relationship.”
Beck scoffed. “So, of course, we manage to find the one virgin who doesn’t.”
Seth barked out a laugh. “Karma. That bitch must be kicking our asses. Because here we are… The girl we’re both desperate for is sleeping in the next room, and we’re out here having a sausage party.”
Beck had to chuckle. “When you put it that way, we sound stupid and we should be totally ashamed.”
“You’re not? Well, you have less to be humiliated about. After all, you’re not the schmuck who moved across the country after kissing Heavenly once and then discovered that she doesn’t see me in her future.” He shook his head. “What’s worse is that giving up again never crossed my mind. It’s like I took one look at that girl and—”
“Had to have her?” Beck knew that feeling well. “Yep. I saw her and I just…knew. I told myself to stay away. She was too young, too sweet… We both know how well that worked. And I have no idea what the fuck happens next. I know what needs to happen.” He let loose a deep breath of tension. “I’m just not sure if either of us can handle it.”
Beck felt more than saw Seth go tense. “You think you know? Do I even want to ask?”
“Probably not. But I finally understand Heavenly.”
“Oh, this ought to be good,” Seth drawled. “Enlighten me.”
“Abel told us everything important. Did you get it?”
Seth paused, like he was sorting through all the tidbits Heavenly’s father had spilled and zeroed in on what mattered most. “Hard to miss her mother walking out on a sick husband and heaping the responsibility for his care on a girl who wasn’t even old enough to drive. I’m against hitting a woman, but I might make an exception for that bitch.”
“Exactly. The problem is, she left Heavenly with serious abandonment issues. That changes everything.”
“Well, I guess it explains why she kept so much to herself. If she couldn’t even trust her own mother…” Seth shook his head. “I can’t fathom that. My mom and I are really close.”
“Oh, her mom leaving explains a whole lot more, virtually everything we’ve been fighting since we met her. It’s most likely the reason she thinks we have no future. Hell, it’s probably even the reason she won’t choose between us.” Beck sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees. “You understand that we’re going to have to make the choice for her, right?”
Seth stared warily. “You mean one of us is going to have to bow out?”
“No,” Beck shot back. “She’s too fragile for that right now. If one of us left, it would reinforce her conviction that everyone leaves. She might break.”
“You’re a surgeon, not a shrink. How can you be so sure that’s what she’d think?”
Beck hesitated. He did not want to get into this. Not now, not ever. But Seth was sounding skeptical, and Beck needed him on board for Heavenly’s sake.
“My mom abandoned me when I was a kid,” Beck confessed softly.
“Oh, shit. How old were you?”
“Too young. And I’ve said everything I intend to on that topic,” Beck bit out, slamming up walls to block the memories before they could surface.
“Is that the reason I couldn’t find any record of you before you turned sixteen?”
The PI’s words hit him with a blow far more powerful than any he’d unloaded on Sanchez. An icy chill froze Beck’s blood before hot rage burst through his veins, sending his heart thudding wildly against his ribs. “You fucking investigated me?”
“Damn straight.”
Sweat dotted Beck’s brow. What else had the nosy bastard uncovered?
He stood and tossed the blanket on the sofa. “Stay the fuck out of my past.”
“Why, because you’re worried I’ll tell Heavenly about your wife of eighteen years? Yeah, I found out about her. Granted, you filed for divorce a few weeks ago—finally. But give me one reason I shouldn’t just tell Heavenly and let the chips fall?”
“Because it was a marriage of convenience, and the reasons for it are moot now. Because if you were any sort of PI, you’d have figured out that Gloria and I haven’t lived together for almost a decade. Because Heavenly needs you and me both, and nothing else—especially not this pissing contest—matters.” He sank back to the sofa. “How long have you known?”
“I found out a few weeks ago, right before Heavenly blindsided us. I couldn’t wait to tell her. Oh, I was going to sleep with her first, make sure she was so into me that the news would convince her I was her obvious choice.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “But if you’re right about her issues, that info could have really shaken her.”
“So why didn’t you blurt it all out when you had Heavenly alone at your place?”
“Besides the donkey interfering? Honestly, cheating manwhore didn’t seem like your speed. I wanted to hear your side first.” He shrugged. “I know you think otherwise, but I’m not a total prick.”
That nearly left Beck speechless. “Thanks, man. It’s not my speed. I appreciate the benefit of the doubt.”
Seth shrugged. “So what do we do now? You say we can’t walk away without crushing Heavenly, but she says she doesn’t see a future with either of us.”
“She’s testing us. She may not even be aware of it, but I know the behavior. She’s pushing us to see how much we can take before we’ll get fed up and leave her.” Beck had been down this road, and he still shuddered when he thought of all the shit he’d heaped on Gloria until she’d verbally slapped his face and promised she was in his life to stay.
“So if we want her, we have to convince her we’re not going anywhere? Christ… Then what? We have to hope she’ll naturally choose one of us in time?”
“Once we help undo the damage her mother inflicted, maybe she will.” But Beck wasn’t holding his breath.
“Okay, I can suck it up until she’s on more stable ground. Can you?”
Beck pondered that question, internally weighing options that didn’t exist. “Tonight, I realized I’ll do anything in the world for her. It might be a good idea for you to consider what else you’re willing to do to make her happy.”
Seth hesitated, and Beck suspected the PI was listening between the lines. “Maybe it would be best if we slept on it and talked again in the morning.”
“Sure, but I think we both know where this is going.”
“Shut up.” Seth lay back again and tugged the blanket up to his neck. “And don’t snore.”
Yeah, Beck wasn’t any happier about what likely came next…but that didn’t change a damn thing.
On the far side of the unit, he heard the bedroom door open and whirled. Rustling told him that Seth turned toward the unexpected noise. The soft sounds of bare feet on the tile tiptoeing through the kitchen were unmistakable.
“Heavenly?” he asked.
“You all right?” Seth asked behind him.
She stepped into the room, at the end of the sofa. Beck saw her shift her weight, glance between them, curl her arms around her waist. “I’m really tired, but I can’t sleep. I thought I heard voices and I hoped you were still awake.”
Beck scooted closer and grabbed her hand. “Do you need to talk?”
“It’s not that. I’m so used to sleeping with my dad breathing just a few feet away. The bed is really comfortable…but the room is too quiet.”
It took less than half a second for him to grasp what she wanted. The air left his lungs. Motherfucker…
Behind him, he could almost feel Seth tense. “Do you need one of us to stay with you until you fall asleep?”
“Would you mind?” She sounded as if she hated to ask for the favor.
Hell, she probably did.
“No problem, angel.” Seth leapt to his feet.
Beck swallowed a groan. As if the kitten nightgown hadn’t been temptation enough, now she wanted them to climb in bed with her and not fuck her brains out? Yeah. And he damn well intended to cuddle up with her, too, because there was no way Seth was crawling between the sheets alone with her. “We’ll both be happy to make you comfortable.”
“Thanks,” she said softly as he stood.
His cock seemed convinced it was going to play with her kitty, because the moment he came near her, the son of a bitch was primed and ready to go all night. He bit back a curse and told his overeager appendage to take a rest. Wasn’t happening. Without any conscious thought, Beck pressed his hand to the small of her back. It only excited his dick more.
Seth seemed to have similar ideas. As soon as they reached the darkened bedroom, the big hulk lifted the covers and helped her under, then pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Beck leaned in behind him. “Clothes on. Hands to yourself.”
“Yeah. Comfort, not coitus,” Seth shot back as he made his way to her left and settled on top of the covers.
Ha ha. Fuck you. Beck did the same on her right.
Heavenly settled onto her stomach with a sigh and curled up with her pillow. Her breathing turned deep and even within thirty seconds.
Beck stared at the ceiling, every muscle in his body as rock-hard as his dick. If there was ever a time he needed his control…
He tried to close his eyes and empty his mind. But the luscious scent of her warm body filled his nose and teased him to the edge of sanity. All he could think about was losing his clothes, rolling her over, and sinking so deep inside her sweet pussy.
“This must be what hell feels like,” Seth muttered.
Beck bit back a snarl and closed his eyes. “I don’t think Satan could have thought of a torment any worse. Sweet dreams, fucker.”
Still floating between sleep and consciousness, Seth rolled over to find his face buried in the soft velvet of a woman’s neck. Lifting one heavy lid, he blinked as sunlight trickled around the edges of the dark curtains and gave the room a warm glow. Heavenly, still deep in sleep, came into focus. He jerked around and stared. Unfamiliar room. Unfamiliar bed. Beck’s condo.
Everything that had happened last night came rushing back.
He was still as conflicted now as he’d been then.
Thank god Heavenly was safe. And though he should probably thank Beck for stopping him from killing her landlord, Seth still wished he’d dusted the cocksucker. But Heavenly needed him far more than he needed revenge.
What else had Beck been right about?
He’d had most of a long, largely sleepless night to ponder that question.
Will you really be lost without us both, angel?
Lifting onto one elbow, he stared at Heavenly sleeping so serenely beside him. It had been a long time since he’d woken up with a woman. But waking up next to this one felt shockingly natural. It felt right.
Beneath her thin lids, her eyes darted back and forth. She was dreaming, hopefully deep in REM sleep. She needed it. He still saw dark circles under her eyes. No surprise. The poor girl had been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders for too long.
“I’ll take care of you. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.
After placing a soft kiss on her cheek, Seth eased off the mattress.
Wearing the sweat pants he’d borrowed from Beck, he left the bed, found a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, then padded to the kitchen. The clock told him it was just shy of eleven. A fresh pot of coffee sat in the brewer, beside two empty mugs. Seth filled one and peered out the window to see Beck sitting in a lounge chair on the balcony, sipping coffee and staring out at the Pacific.
Steeling himself for the unavoidable conversation, Seth tugged the sliding door open.
“Morning,” Beck greeted. “Come on out and join me.”
The ocean view shimmering under the bright Los Angeles sun was killer. Below them, the waves rolled and tumbled onto the sand. “It doesn’t suck to wake up to this.”
Beck smirked. “It’s not so bad. Is Heavenly…”
“Still asleep.” He sat down in the other empty chair, still staring out at the shimmering blue water. An awkward silence stretched between them. “Any word on Abel?”
“He’s in stable condition. They’re running tests now. The head of neurology has requested his records from the VA. Once Litchfield has gone over all that, I suspect we’ll be making arrangements to move him to a rehab facility, but we’ll wait and see what he recommends.”
“Knowing her father is getting the right treatment should be a huge weight off Heavenly’s shoulders. I’m sure she’ll appreciate all you’re doing for her and her dad.”
“Maybe, but I worry she’ll resist not living under the same roof with him. I already know she’s going to fight the fact that we intend to take care of her.”
“After everything you said last night…I’m prepared for that.” He stared at the ocean some more.
When he lifted his mug of coffee, Seth accidentally bumped his hand on the edge of the table. Pain shot up his arm. He winced, sucking in a sharp breath. The battered flesh around his knuckles ripped open. Blood seeped from the wound, staining the ridges around his sore, swollen joints.
Beck tsked. “Let me see that.”
“I cleaned it out last night.” Seth waved him away. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not.” Beck snagged his wrist and inspected the gash. “You need a couple stitches. Sit tight. I’ll get my bag.”
“I don’t need any damn stitches.” Seth was as fond of needles as he was of California sliding into the damn ocean, but kept that to himself.
“You a doctor now?” Beck challenged.
“Shut up.”
“Why don’t you, before you accidentally wake Heavenly?”
Cursing, he watched the doctor shoot out of his seat and into the condo. When he returned with a backpack, Seth fidgeted, sending up a silent prayer not to puke.
Beck dragged his chair closer before unzipping his pack. Then he prepared antiseptic, a needle and thread, and a sterile bandage. Though the morning was cool, sweat began dripping down Seth’s back. His stomach pitched like a damn Tilt-A-Whirl.
“It’ll only sting a little for a minute.”
“Aren’t you going to numb it or something first?” Seth insisted between choppy breaths.
“If you’re going to ask me that, you might as well hand me your man card. Jesus, it’s only a couple of stitches.”
“Yeah, in my skin.”
“Okay, I’ll give you a numbing spray.” He withdrew a little bottle, and a fine mist of something sterile-smelling settled over the back of his hand. “Will that do or should I call you a wah-mulance.”
“Your bedside manner sucks.”
Beck laughed. “Sit back and close your eyes.”
Seth dropped his lids and focused on breathing slowly, filling his mind with the most distracting visions of Heavenly he could fathom. He felt a tiny pinprick, then a tug at his knuckles, then nothing.
“How many teeth do you figure Sanchez has left now?” Beck filled the silence.
“Maybe enough to strain his oatmeal for the next few weeks.” Seth smiled. “But hopefully not. I notice you beat him with your feet instead of your hands. Smart.”
“Can’t damage the fingers. They’ve earned me this amazing view.” He fell quiet again as Seth felt another gentle pull on his flesh. “I still can’t believe the power behind your punches. You should have been a fucking boxer.”
“Nah, I don’t like my brains being scrambled.”
“I have to admit, I enjoyed mangling that bastard. What he expected from Heavenly was fucked up. I think that’s what made mashing his dick under my heel so much fun.”
Seth grunted in response. “What did you do with our bloody clothes?”
“Trashed them. I got rid of the evidence in the community dumpster this morning.”
“The police won’t look too hard for us. They’ll probably think it was a drug deal gone bad or gang retaliation. That kind of shit goes down all the time, and Sanchez is hardly the innocent-victim type. So the cops will save their resources for someone who actually needs them.”
“That’s good news.” Seth heard Beck snip at something, then the doctor slathered his knuckles with a thick ointment, covered it with a bandage, then sat back. “You’re done.”
Seth opened his eyes. “Really?”
“Really.”
Already, it felt less angry.
“Thanks. You could have been a real dick about it and stabbed me.” Instead, Beck had used a surprisingly gentle hand.
“I thought about it.”
Seth reached for his coffee again. When Beck went inside to wash his hands, he tried to get his head together.
They needed to talk. Last night, they’d only danced around the elephant in the room. Now it was time to look the bitch in the face and tango.
Beck stepped out onto the balcony again. “She’s still sleeping.”
Just as well. “She needs it. And we need this time to figure things out.”
“You give everything I said last night more thought?” Beck slid into his chair.
“Yeah. Kind of hard not to.” Seth dragged in a shuddering breath and paused. Once he went down this path, he couldn’t go back, not unless Heavenly sent him in another direction. And the more he thought about Beck’s theories, the more he suspected that would never happen.
For the foreseeable future at least, she needed them both.
“And?”
Seth peered over at him, squinting against the sun. “Could you really share her, even temporarily?”
“Am I thrilled about it? No. But we’re Doms. Though we may not have been acting like it lately, we both know the needs of the sub come first.”
“Sure, but Heavenly doesn’t even know she’s a sub. Hell, I deeply suspect she is, but we have no proof—”
“Actually, I do.”
Seth tensed. What had the doctor done to her? What had Heavenly let him do? “Oh?”
“Before you snarl like a damn dog, no, I didn’t tie her to a spanking bench and beat her ass. I’ve been a good boy.” He grinned. “Mostly. But I did take her to an exhibit of BDSM art.”
He had to give the doctor credit; that idea was fucking brilliant. “Really?”
“She’s interested.”
Seth filed that information in the oh, hell yes drawer. But he couldn’t let his dick take him off on a bunny—or rather, a kitty—trail right now. “Good to know…but even if the needs of the sub come first, you and I both know we can’t force her to accept us or our help.”
“Last night, she reached her breaking point. She’s out of options and she knows it.”
“Still, she’s going to come out fighting.” Seth shook his head. “She may have abandonment issues, but she’s used to doing everything alone. And that girl has lots of pride.”
“She does. I didn’t say it would be easy to convince her to let us do the heavy lifting. I simply said we had to, for her sake.”
“You know, we could—in theory—help her together, make sure she has three meals a day, a safe roof over her head, new clothes, and a secure future on the horizon… Speaking of which, I tucked this away last night.” He handed the piece of paper to Beck. “Apparently, her fall tuition is past due. I’ll call and take care of it in the morning. I assume no one’s there on a Sunday.”
Beck scanned the page. “Son of a bitch. She didn’t intend to tell us about this, either.”
“No. Remember, she tried to keep me out of her papers.” Seth slanted a sideways glance at the doctor. “Anyway, I’m saying we could give her the encouragement and support she needs until she’s feeling steady without ever laying a finger on her. After all, we did that on a smaller scale for Raine when Liam and Hammer asked for our help. That turned out all right.”
Beck scoffed. “Tell me lying next to Heavenly last night wasn’t absolute torture and it didn’t take you right to the edge of your control. Go on,” he prompted. “I’ll wait while you find the balls to tell me that whopper.”
“It did. I said ‘in theory.’”
“Uh-huh. Realistically, there’s no way we both keep our hands off her for weeks or months… And just like the care we give her, if we touch her, we have to do it together.”
A couple of big objections screamed through Seth’s brain. “Logically, I suppose you’re right. But I still don’t know how the hell I’m going to handle watching you put your hands on her.”
“How about my hands on her while you’ve got your mouth over hers, swallowing down her moans?” Beck challenged. “Remember, last night in Raine’s kitchen, you were tugging on Heavenly’s hair and looking into her eyes while I damn near dragged my lips up her neck. You didn’t look like you gave two shits what I was doing, just that she was engaged and aroused.”
Seth froze and replayed the moment in his head. Beck was right. In fact, he’d thought even then that he and the good doctor would most likely be fucking her together soon. And that hadn’t bothered him at all.
“Holy shit,” he muttered.
“Exactly. If we both have her naked and screaming in pleasure, I doubt you’ll be thinking about anything else.” He sighed. “Think about it, man. We’re too smart not to have learned something from Hammer and Liam. We have to put our petty jealousy aside.”
“Of course they got on the same page. They’ve been friends for a decade. They’d shared a woman before. Granted, it didn’t end well…but they knew each other better than anyone on the planet. You and I don’t have that going for us.”
“We don’t, but Liam and Hammer’s friendship started over a woman, right? I’m not saying we’ll find it easy, but we’re doing all right at the moment. The truth is, if we’re serious about helping Heavenly, then we have to keep the focus on her feelings, not ours. If we can’t do that, we’ll lose her for good.”
Yeah, Seth had been there when Raine threatened to walk forever if Liam and Hammer didn’t stop snarling like a pair of dogs fighting over her as if she were a juicy bone. He still wasn’t entirely sure why Heavenly thought she couldn’t have a future with them, but he did know that Zelda and the dead body pranks had pissed her off enough to put on her clothes and walk out his door.
“You make valid points. But I still may end up punching you at some point.”
“And I could suture your mouth closed in your sleep. It might make me feel better for a minute or two, but that won’t make Heavenly happy.”
Fuck. Beck was right. Again. Even so, that didn’t help Seth’s other major objection to this cozy plan. “All right, look. I don’t know if I can do the ménage thing. Back in New York, not long after Liam separated from his ex, he and I found this sub one night…and tried it. Like I told you, I’m not a fan of swinging junk. It was awkward as hell.”
“Hammer and Liam’s first attempt at sharing was a disaster, and they both say it’s because they had the wrong woman between them.”
“Juliet was a fucking head case, definitely wrong for them both.”
“Maybe…you weren’t meant to sandwich a random sub between you and your Irish pal. Maybe it would be better if you had a different wingman and if we were putting Heavenly between us.”
A smartass reply zipped through his brain, but it wouldn’t help the conversation. The truth was, if he didn’t give this a try, he already knew what would happen. Hell, Heavenly had already slammed the door on their future three weeks ago. Life had been shit since then. If he didn’t want to lose her, he had to step up and complete her. He couldn’t claim to love her if he refused to even try to give her what she needed.
On the other hand… “What if you’re right and the sex is decent and we manage not to kill each other? And what if it takes weeks or months for her to choose between us?” Seth stared out at the endless ocean again, realizing that Heavenly’s indecision could drift into infinity. “What if she never does?”
Finally, Beck fell silent, not saying anything for long minutes. “The logical part of me says we take this one day at a time. My gut tells me she might never be ready to choose, but I can’t wrap my brain around that yet. One thing that occurs to me is that she won’t fall in love with, much less choose, one of us if we’re not being ourselves with her.”
Seth scowled. “What are you saying? You’ve lied about something besides Gloria?”
“No, but I haven’t been totally honest. I hinted that I’m in the lifestyle, but I never admitted it.”
Seth pulled at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I might have failed to mention that, too. I didn’t want to scare her off.”
“Exactly. So…at some point we’ll have to come clean about that. Because realistically, I don’t know how much vanilla sex I can have without the kink creeping in. What about you?”
“Yeah, probably not a lot.” He raked a hand through his hair. “So…when you took her to the art exhibit, she was into it?”
Beck leaned in. “Not just into it. She was turned the fuck on. I watched her face all evening. I catalogued her every reaction.”
Seth reared back. “No shit? What did she respond to?”
“Well, she’s interested in a lot of different play. More than I expected. Role play, for starters. She also wants to be commanded and made to submit. She definitely acted as if she’s in favor of being orally pleasured—”
“I can vouch for the fact she’s a big fan.” Seth grinned.
Beck glared. “You want to gloat or listen?”
That made him laugh. “Go on.”
“She likes the idea of being helpless and at her Master’s mercy. But bondage, my friend, will be her gateway drug. No doubt.”
Seth felt the smile creep across his face. “Yeehaw.”
“I tied a damn napkin around her wrists at lunch, and she was panting and flushed in under two minutes. It was goddamn sweet.”
“There are about a million ideas running through my head of all the things I’d like to do to her.”
“Hang on, cowboy. We’ve still got two areas of concern: First, she’s not into pain.”
“That’s not a problem for me since I can take or leave it.” Seth shrugged. “But I know that’s a problem for you. We’ll have to deal somehow. What’s the other issue?”
“I haven’t exactly been able to put my finger on this. She wants to be overpowered or forced or…something in that neighborhood.”
“Consensually, I hope.”
“I have to think so or she would have been able to pay her rent in the way Sanchez wanted.”
Seth gave him a slow nod, his thoughts turning. “You’re saying our little innocent has fantasies with an edge?”
“Oh, yeah. I think under that sweet exterior is a very dirty girl. Images of subs being controlled, overpowered, and coerced had her creaming her little panties. But it would have to be with someone she trusted absolutely.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He rubbed his hands together. “No problem. A sub at Graffiti often hit me up for that kind of edge play. I’m happy to accommodate.”
Beck looked a little less thrilled. “You get off on consensual non-consent?”
“I’m not opposed to it. If it’s what Heavenly wants and we negotiate well in advance, why not? You’re not judging me, are you, sadist?”
“No.” But something on Beck’s face closed up. “The question that keeps turning around in my head is, she wanted nothing to do with Sanchez for obvious reasons. But River? She offered herself to him. Granted, to retain control of her body. But I keep wondering, would she have gone through with it if he had said yes?”
Seth paused for a pair of reasons. First, Beck’s subject change was too abrupt not to notice. Second, he asked a really good question. “Maybe, since her back was against a wall. But my gut feeling…no. My sister-in-law is always telling me that most women aren’t built for meaningless sex like men.”
Which was why Maggie had often called him a manwhore and chastised him for never bothering with things like dating or girlfriends. He’d been about the hookup for years. Wouldn’t she cheer and clap now if she could see exactly how hard he’d fallen?
“Um, I think maybe we know different women.” Beck frowned.
“Well, Maggie has Heavenly’s sweet sort of disposition. I think it’s entirely possible our girl will only truly respond to men she loves. And somewhere in her heart, whether she wants to admit it or not, I think she does.”
Beck nodded. “We’ve got a place to start, then.”
“Yeah.” An idea turned itself over in his head. It was ruthless…but it was brilliant. “Maggie also says that the more love you make to a woman, the more she loves you back.”
“You’re saying that if we want to pluck on her heartstrings, we need to, um, pluck her body?”
“Yep.” Seth sipped his coffee, not even caring that it had gone lukewarm. “Probably a lot.”
A big smile spread across Beck’s face. “When the hell can we start?”
“The sooner the better. Wine and a nice dinner, kisses, a few sweet words—”
“And some rope.”
Seth chuckled. “Definitely rope. But we gently seduce her and…see what happens.”
A slow smile spread across Beck’s face. “Count me in.”
Heavenly had no idea what time it was when she rolled over with a gasp. Her dad! He must need her. But she realized she lay in a big, fluffy bed, and she remembered that, for once, he didn’t need her before her feet even hit the floor. The staff at the hospital were undoubtedly taking good care of him.
She sighed with relief, rolled over, and stared at the digital blue numbers on the nightstand clock. One in the afternoon? Oh, goodness. Granted, she hadn’t fallen asleep until nearly five this morning. But she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept anything close to eight hours.
She groped the bed around her. The covers on both sides were cold. Beck and Seth were long gone now, but their deep breathing and soft snoring had lulled her to sleep almost instantly. Whenever she’d awakened, the sense of security and belonging she felt with them had tugged her toward slumber again and again.
Last night, they’d taken care of her utterly. It went against her independent streak, and she intended to get on her own two feet quickly…but she couldn’t deny how much she appreciated everything they’d done for her. And how much she loved them for it.
Sliding out of bed, she listened through the door for the sounds of them in the kitchen. Silence. Frowning, she quickly brushed her teeth, washed her face, and re-braided her hair. After a swipe of lip gloss, a sweep of mascara, and a change of clothes, she was ready to face them and the day. She’d give anything to spend today with Seth and Beck. Not only did they have a lot to talk about, but she yearned to be with them. She shouldn’t. It wasn’t fair since they wanted a future she wasn’t ready for…but that didn’t stop her heart from wishing they could find common ground.
Thoughts racing, she stepped into the kitchen and stared out the sliding glass door with a gasp. The Pacific lazed in its shimmering blue perfection for as far as the eye could see. The sight was stunning, but what really caught her attention were Beck and Seth lounging in chairs on the balcony, seeming to share an easy conversation.
When had they started getting along? They had pulled terrible pranks on each other…then suddenly they’d been confronting her together about her admittedly stupid plan to use River. Heavenly felt more than vaguely ashamed about that now. Not long after that, they had raced her to the hospital, held her hand, helped her father, beat the snot out of her landlord, and brought her to safety—all without a single argument.
Because the situation had been too harrowing for squabbles? Or because something had changed?
With a mixture of anticipation and dread, she pulled the balcony door open. They both swiveled in her direction.
“Morning, guys.”
“Morning.” Beck stood. “Coffee?”
“Breakfast?” Seth offered.
“I can get it. Have you two eaten? I don’t mind cooking. You did it last night. Then, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go see my dad.”
“Sure. I can take you. I need to make rounds anyway.” Beck gestured her inside. “But I talked to the staff this morning. He rested comfortably last night and seems to be in good humor.”
“That’s a relief. Thanks.”
“I’ll go with you.” Seth set his big palm between her shoulders. “I’d like to make sure your dad is all right, too.”
That simple touch shouldn’t affect her so much. But everything these two did made her fluttery and giddy and achy.
Get your mind out of your panties. There’s way too much going on now to think about their kisses and caresses…and where those might lead.
“That would be great. Then, unfortunately, I have to be to work at five. I’m there until close and clean-up are done.”
“We’ll drop you off and pick you up,” Seth said, his tone firm with steel.
That would be a problem since they didn’t actually know where she waited tables. She’d never wanted the humiliation of them knowing she flashed ninety percent of her body to strangers for tips. Now…well, she had the feeling they wouldn’t be pleased if they found out.
“I can take the bus.”
“You’re done taking the bus, Heavenly.” Beck leveled a glare at her that brooked no argument.
She closed her eyes. Since she had to keep this job—none of the alternatives tipped half so well—she was going to have to lie. Dang it. She’d rather not. At least there was a kids’ pizza place about half a mile from Bazookas. She’d have them drop her off there and walk down the road. They would feel better about everything, and she would be fine.
“All right. Thank you.”
Quickly, Heavenly tossed together some pancakes and bacon. It was a huge treat to cook in a kitchen stocked full of food and new appliances. She hummed as she chopped cantaloupe, aware of Beck and Seth watching her intently. She could only imagine what they were thinking after everything that had happened last night.
When she set the food on the table, Seth helped her into her chair. It was second nature to grab their plates and serve them. She’d been doing it for her father for years.
When she realized her faux pas, she set Beck’s plate down with a grimace. “I’m sorry. Habit.”
Seth didn’t mind. He was already digging in with a moan.
“Don’t apologize.” In fact, something in Beck’s smile said he liked it a lot.
Seth nodded, almost the same little grin playing at his mouth.
Sometimes she didn’t understand these men…
After putting a few bites into her belly, she sipped her orange juice and blew out a breath. “I know I owe you a lot of explanations.”
Neither said a word, but their expressions were rife with silent agreement.
“I don’t even know where to start. I didn’t tell you anything because…”
“It wasn’t our problem,” Seth finished for her. “We’ve heard this. There’s more to it.”
“There is.” She swallowed. “I could give you a lot of excuses, but the truth is, my mom left as soon as she found out my dad was sick and not going to get any better. She took half of their savings, the car, and everything out of her closet one Sunday afternoon. Then she left. I remember I was studying for a history test when she came into my room and…” Her throat tightened and her nose stung. Damn it, she didn’t want to cry. It had happened a long time ago, and she should be over her mother’s crap now. “She didn’t even hug me, just said she hadn’t signed up for life with an invalid. That she and Dad had taken care of me for fifteen years and I could return the favor.” She bit her lip to hold in tears she didn’t want to spill. “I was shocked. Then confused. Over the next few months, I became angry.”
“Of course you did.” Seth’s face was full of pity, the same sort mirrored on Beck’s.
“I never heard from her again. To this day, I have no idea where she is.”
The two men exchanged a glance, then Beck took her hand. “And your mom taught you that people don’t stay, so you tried to get rid of us before we could walk away from you.”
“No.” She shook her head as she gathered her thoughts. “Mom taught me that when you give people your problems, they disappear.”
“Oh, Christ.” Seth set his fork down and reached for her other hand. “That’s why you kept everything to yourself? Angel, neither of us is leaving. You need us, and we’re going to be here for you.”
“Whatever problems you have, we’re going to help you,” Beck assured.
She withdrew her hands from theirs. “I appreciate the help. I really do—”
“There better not be a ‘but’ in that speech of yours.” He raised a brow at her.
Seth looked equally displeased by the notion.
“Thanks, but I don’t want a handout. I needed help with my father. I admit. His meds, coupled with the rent, got too expensive for me to keep up with and—”
“We know. I’m taking care of your fall tuition in the morning,” Seth cut in. “There’s no way you’re not going to school come September.”
“I’ll pay you back.”
He shook his head. “If you’re able to pay for your schooling next spring, great. If not, you and I will figure something out.”
That would be a huge load off her shoulders. Taking from Seth made her feel more than a little guilty, but she couldn’t afford to skip school and put her future on hold indefinitely. “Thank you.”
He acknowledged her with a nod, then she turned to Beck. “I’ll move out of your condo as soon as I can find somewhere—”
“Stay.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You won’t be in my personal space. My house is ten miles away. This is just a place to crash when I’m too tired to make the drive home.”
“It’s still too much to accept.” She shook her head. “I can’t freeload.”
“You are so infuriating.” Beck gritted his teeth. “All right. I’ll rent it to you for ten dollars a month. Does that make you feel better?”
Heavenly gaped at him. “If you take less than three thousand a month, you’re crazy.”
“It’s my condo to do with as I wish. So if I want you to have it for ten bucks, that’s my right. All you have to do is say yes. C’mon. Make us feel better, would you? We don’t like worrying about your safety, and that shithole you lived in…”
“I’m going to be seeing it in my nightmares for a long time. You don’t need another Sanchez to deal with,” Seth insisted. “Say yes.”
“Why are you doing this? Any of this?” She gave up on food and pushed her plate away. “I already told you that I don’t know what I want my future to look like, but I’m not ready for anything serious. I’m not even ready to choose between you and—”
“You don’t have to,” Seth said. “We are willing to just…date you. Together.”
She reared back, stared. “You mean the way Raine is with both Liam and Hammer?”
“Yes,” Beck supplied. “You don’t have to choose before you’re ready, and we mean that this time. We’re not going to fight or escalate the pranks. We just want you to keep an open mind and an open heart, to accept both of us in your life…and see where it leads.”
Heavenly blinked. She wasn’t sure whether shock or excitement won out. They were offering her not just a solution to most of her problems but her fantasy. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes,” Beck pressed. “You can stay here while your dad gets better. You’ll be safe while you focus on school and figure out your feelings for us.”
She wanted to agree so badly… “The arrangement seems awfully one-sided. You’re giving me so much and—”
“You’ll get what you need. We’ll get what we want. Win-win for everyone,” Seth added.
“All right.” A tremulous smile spread across her lips. “I feel like I’m taking advantage of you when I can’t give you any assurances for the future, but if you’re willing to see what happens, I’m willing to try.” She reached for their hands again. “It hurt me to walk away from you, and living without you both has been awful.”
She glanced between them. Something told her they were inclined to pull her into their laps and kiss her. Instead, Seth pushed her plate in front of her again. “Eat. If you’re going to be on your feet all evening, I want to make sure you’ve had enough food.”
Beck gave her a considering glance. “I don’t suppose you’d consider quitting so you can concentrate on school and we can spend more time with you?”
Heavenly had been employed since the day she turned sixteen. She needed the income. She certainly didn’t expect Beck and Seth to support her. “I can’t.”
“Of course.” He sighed heavily. “Dig in.”
A few more silent minutes passed. She finished another pancake. Seth started the dishes. Beck took a call from the hospital about one of his patients. The scene was surprisingly domestic, almost comfortable. The fact that she liked having them so close confused Heavenly. She didn’t want a future full of commitments or responsibilities…but she was loath to think of being without them.
Not sure what to make of that, she helped with the clean-up, then packed herself a sandwich for dinner tonight. Beck helped her find a cooler for her food. Then they were heading to the hospital. She was anxious to see her father. Of course, he was in good hands, but she’d feel so much better once she laid eyes on him. And he would probably feel better once she assured him she was all right.
When they walked into his room, she was surprised to find him sitting up and surprisingly alert. His color looked almost vital. He was even full of smiles.
“Hi, boo.”
“Dad.” She rushed to take his hands. “You look great.”
“I feel strong. Dr. Litchfield and I had a long chat this morning. Nice man. He adjusted my meds. He said my condition may be up and down for a bit while he tries to stabilize my immune system, but today feels better.”
“That’s fantastic news!”
He looked past her and set eyes on Beck and Seth. “Dr. Beckman. Mr. Cooper.”
The speculation in his stare made her squirm. Now that he wasn’t half asleep, he was wondering what these two men had done to his little girl last night. Nothing, and she knew that. But that didn’t mean they hadn’t touched her in the past…or that they wouldn’t touch her in the future. Heavenly didn’t mean to, but she blushed to the roots of her hair.
“Just Seth.” He shook his head as he came forward to shake her father’s hand, then settled himself beside her, resting a casual arm around her shoulders.
“You can call me Beck,” the doctor invited with a manufactured smile as he took her hand in his and brought it to her lips.
Heavenly froze. They were declaring themselves to her father without saying a word. They met her subtle attempt to work free from their grip with an implacable hold. Short of making a scene, she was stuck between them.
“I want to assure you, Abel, that I’m going to—”
“We,” Seth cut in, motioning between him and Beck. “We’re going to.”
She wished she could close her eyes and escape. Or put a stop to this. What must her father be thinking?
“Yes,” Beck corrected. “Seth and I have had a conversation, and we’ve decided it’s in everyone’s best interest if we both take care of Heavenly. We’ll make sure she eats well, has a safe place to live, a quiet space to study, and can focus on her future. She’ll be well looked after and well cared for.”
Why hadn’t they just shouted the fact they intended to take her to bed together? “Guys…”
“I see.” Dad pinned the men with a knowing stare. “I’d like to speak to my daughter alone.”
“Of course.” Seth pressed a kiss to her temple, then he stepped out of the room.
Beck squeezed her hand. “We’ll be outside if you need us.”
“Shut the door.” Her voice shook.
Dad might be sick and weak, but he was still her father and he was going to flex his parental muscle.
As soon as the door snicked shut, he motioned her closer.
She approached on trepidatious steps. “Dad…”
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
Not really. “I’m fine.”
“Do you know what they want from you?”
When her dad studied her with that shocked expression, she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she didn’t want to give him a heart attack. “I do.”
“Baby, you don’t have to…let them pervert you—”
“I’m not.” Heavenly didn’t want to cry. She wanted to be strong for her dad. But she couldn’t stand the thought of him being ashamed of her. “I’m with them because I’m in love.”
Her father was silent for a long moment, then he reached a shaking hand out to her. “Oh…boo. Are you sure? Are you ready to tie yourself to two men who have already lived a lot and seen the world and are ready to settle down? Because Beck and Seth are.”
How had everyone seen that but her?
“You look surprised. It’s all over their faces,” Dad went on. “They want forever with you. You’ve always talked about travel and adventure and exploration. I want you to experience those things…”
And she wanted to, as well. She’d always wanted to. “I’ve told them I can’t do forever, just right now.”
“You’re a sweet girl with a soft heart. You’re a loyal child who’s stayed with me because I needed you all these years when you should have been spreading your wings and flying away. I’m so worried you’ll be the same kind of woman to them, that you’ll never get to live for you.”
“Dad…”
“Promise me you won’t let that happen.” His grip was surprisingly strong. “Promise me that, before you commit your future to anyone or anything, that you’ll live those dreams you’ve always had. Meet people, experience cultures, see the world. Find out who you are before you have to figure out who you are with someone else. If your mother had done that, maybe she would have stayed.”
What could she say when she suspected he was right? “All right. I promise.” Even though he leaned back against his pillows in relief, she still felt the tension in his body, in the room, and wanted so badly to allay it. “Dad, they didn’t lay a finger on me last night. In fact, they’ve hardly touched me at all.”
That wasn’t totally true. But they hadn’t pressed her for sex. Her father could read between the lines. Hopefully, that would give him some peace of mind.
“It’s a matter of time, boo. They want you. They intend to have you. It’s going to get messy, emotional, and complicated. I hope you’re ready for that.”
No. It terrified the hell out of her. “I’ll be all right. I promise. I have to get to work. Call me if you need anything. I’ll check on you first thing in the morning, okay?”
“Take care of yourself, boo. I love you.”
Heavenly bit her lip, trying to hold herself together. She’d worried and disappointed him.
She’d exchanged one set of problems for another.
At least in this scenario, Dad was getting the best medical care possible. Her feelings mattered far less.
After brushing a kiss on his cheek, she sent him the brightest smile she could manage. “I love you, too.”
Tears were falling as she reached the door and opened it to find Seth waiting inches away, stock-still. Beck paced the hall, fists clenched.
How much had they heard?
“Thanks for bringing me here to visit. I’m ready to head for work.”
“Are you all right?” Seth ventured, concern all over his face.
She didn’t want to talk about it, wasn’t ready to deal with her conflicted feelings. “Fine.”
The guys exchanged a glance. Neither believed her.
“Please. I can’t be late.”
Beck sighed. “We’ll go. But we’re going to talk about this later.”
“Absolutely,” Seth agreed.
The ride to Pepp-E-Roni’s Pizza Palace was quiet. On the one hand, she needed the paycheck and she was happy to escape the inquisition they were obviously itching for, if only temporarily. But she would also far rather be spending the evening with Beck and Seth. Heck, the night with them. Her father was right; she wouldn’t be able to put them off for long. But the way she wanted them, that thought filled her with way more heady anticipation than unease. Individually, they’d given her such pleasure. Together…she sighed. She could only imagine.
But it wasn’t just the ecstasy she looked forward to. It was being with them, expressing her feelings for them, without worry that she’d be upsetting one or the other. Finally, she’d be able to show them that she loved them equally and honestly.
Hopefully, the love she made with them would be enough.
Because the future was coming, and she couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.