VII

The Sons of Harmony …
Animals and Nonsense

The Sons of Harmony …
Animals and Nonsense

Some of our best-known and oldest folk songs are apparently nonsensical or rely on the effect of a cumulative text for their impact, and much of their wide distribution stems from the fact that they have featured strongly in the ‘nursery tradition’ and have been taught to, and enthusiastically sung by, countless generations of English children. Nevertheless, their lively tunes and evocative words have also contributed to their staying power within the adult folk repertoire, and in some cases this is made possible by the availability of different sets of words for different audiences (for example, ‘Old King Cole’, No. 112).

As noted in the individual song notes, nonsense, cumulative and hyperbolic songs such as ‘The Derby Ram’ (No. 106), ‘The Herring’s Head’ (No. 109) and ‘The Cutty Wren’ (Roud 236) have often attracted fanciful explanations of origins in the religious rituals of our pagan past, but there is not the slightest evidence that this is the case, although no simple origin theory can be produced in its place. The first fallacy lies in expecting one single explanation to cover all such songs, and we should be ready to accept a more piecemeal explanation. The Herring’s Head’, for example, may have been originally a question-and-answer drinking game, while cumulative songs such as ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ (Roud 68) were certainly party games which tested the participants’ memories, and ‘The Wonderful Crocodile’ (Roud 886) is simply an extended joke. Regardless of origin, it is the love of nonsense and hyperbole for its own sake, and the satisfaction of rhythm and rhyme, which are a sufficient explanation for the popularity of this type of song.

Songs about animals are not always nonsensical, of course, and ‘Creeping Jane’ (No. 105) and ‘The Keeper’ (No. 111) are here as brief examples of songs about sport, although the latter simply uses the chase as a metaphor for sex. There are also many traditional songs about hunting, which have been squeezed out from lack of space. The most widely known of these tend to be generic ‘joys of the chase’ songs, but there were (and still are) vigorous song traditions in some areas which remember particular local events or characters.

There are also plenty of songs about foolish people. In many cases these coalesce into pieces which rely on ethnic or regional stereotypes which are endemic to British society, and which play their small part in bolstering and legitimating traditional discrimination and persecution. But ‘Bryan O’Lynn’ (No. 103) and ‘The Foolish Boy’ (No. 107) are examples of a more generic silly person who has been a stock character in popular literature for centuries.

 

103
Bryan O’Lynn

O Brian O’Flynn had no trousers to wear

So he bought him a sheepskin and made him a pair

With the skinny side out and the furry side in

‘Why, sure it’ll do,’ says Brian O’Flynn.

Chorus

‘It’ll do, do, do, do’

Says Brian O’Flynn, ‘It’ll do.’

O Brian O’Flynn had no shirt to his back

So he went to his neighbours to borrow a sack

He puckered the meal bags under his chin

‘They’ll take it for ruffles,’ says Brian O’Flynn.

O Brian O’Flynn had no coat to put on

So he borrowed a goat skin to make him a one

He planted the horns right under his chin

‘They’ll answer for pistols,’ says Brian O’Flynn.

O Brian O’Flynn had no watch for to wear

So he bought him a turnip and scooped it out fair

And he put him a cricket right under the skin

‘They’ll think it’s a-ticking,’ says Brian O’Flynn.

O Brian O’Flynn and his wife and wife’s mother

They all went to sleep in the same bed together

The bed it was small and the clothes they were thin

‘Lie close to the wall,’ says Brian O’Flynn.

Brian O’Flynn and his wife and wife’s mother

Were all going over the bridge together

The bridge it broke down and they all tumbled in

‘We’ll find ground at the bottom,’ says Brian O’Flynn.

 

104
The Crabfish

‘Oh fisherman, fisherman, one two three

Have you got a she-crab you can sell to me?’

‘Oh yes sir, yes sir, one two three

I’ve got a she-crab I can sell to thee.’

I catched the little fellow up by the backbone

I put ’un in a bag and marched away home

Singing jimmy dingy ingy ding, jimmy ingy ingy ding

And the wind blew fair in the merry morning.

When I got home my wife was asleep

And I put ’un in the chamber alive to keep

Singing jimmy dingy ingy ding, jimmy ingy ingy ding

And the wind blew fair in the merry morning.

My wife got out to do what she want

And the crab jumped up and caught her by the

Jimmy dingy ingy ding, jimmy ingy ingy ding

And the wind blew fair in the merry morning.

‘Oh John, oh John, there’s something wrong

The Devil’s in the chamber poking up his horns.’

Singing jimmy dingy ingy ding, jimmy ingy ingy ding

And the wind blew fair in the merry morning.

‘Oh wife, oh wife, you must be mad

If you can’t tell the Devil from a little she-crab.’

Singing jimmy dingy ingy ding, jimmy ingy ingy ding

And the wind blew fair in the merry morning.

So I took the chamber and missus took the broom

And we marched that little fellow right out of the room

Singing jimmy dingy ingy ding, jimmy ingy ingy ding

And the wind blew fair in the merry morning.

 

105
Creeping Jane

I will sing you a song and a very pretty one

Concerning Creeping Jane O

Why she never saw a mare or a gelding in her life

That she valued to the worth of half a pin.

Chorus

Lol-the-day, dee-ay, the diddle ol-the-die doh

[Repeat last two lines of verse]

Lol-the-day.

When Creeping Jane on the racecourse came

The gentlemen view-ed her all around O

And all they had to say concerning little Jane

‘She’s not able for to gallop o’er the ground.’

Now when that they came to the second mile-post

Creeping Jane, she was far behind O

Then the rider flung his whip around her bonny little neck

And he said, ‘My little lassie, never mind.’

Now when that they came to the third mile-post

Creeping Jane, she looked blithe and smart O

And then she lifted up her little lily-white foot

And she flew past them all like a dart.

Now Creeping Jane, she this race has won

And scarcely sweats one drop O

Why she’s able for to gallop the ground o’er again

While the others is not able for to trot.

Now Creeping Jane, she is dead and gone

And her body lies on the cold ground O

I’ll go down to her master one favour for to beg

That’s to keep her little body from the hounds.

 

106
The Derby Ram

As I was going to Derby

Upon the market day

I met the finest tup, sir

That ever was fed on hay.

Chorus

Fay lay, fay lay, laddigo lairo lay.

This tup was fat behind, sir

This tup was fat before

This tup stood nine foot high, sir

If he didn’t stand no more.

The wool that grew on his belly, sir

Was trailing all around

Every foot the tup set down, sir

He covered an acre of ground.

The wool that grew on his back, sir

It grew so mighty high

Eagles came and built their nests, sir

You could hear the young ones cry.

The horns that grew on his head, sir

They grew so mighty wide

That a coach and six could go betwixt

With a footman by the side.

The butcher that stuck the tup, sir

Was in danger of his life

He was up to his knees in blood, sir

Crying out for a longer knife.

The blood that ran from this tup, sir

It run down Derby moor

Turned the biggest waterwheel

That’s ever been turned before.

And all the boys in Derby

Came begging for his eyes

To kick about in Derby streets

For they were football size.

And all the blacksmiths in Derby

Came begging for his ears

To make their leather aprons of

Cos they would last for years.

And all the women of Derby

Came begging for his bones

To get the marrow out of them

To nourish their old bones.

And now my singing’s ended

We cannot sing no more

So p’raps you’ll give us a trifle

Or else a glass of beer.

 

107
The Foolish Boy

My father died and I cannot tell how

But he left me six horses to follow the plough.

Chorus

With a whim whom woddle O

Strim strom stroddle O

Bubble O, pretty boy, over the brow.

I sold my six horses to buy a new cow

Wasn’t that a funny thing to follow the plough?

I sold my cow to buy me a calf

I never made a bargain but I lost the better half.

I sold my calf to buy me a cat

To sit down by the fire, warm her little back.

I sold my cat to buy me a mouse

She set fire to her tail and burnt up all my house.

 

108
The Frog and the Mouse

There was a frog lived in a well

  Farding link-a-laddie

And a merry mouse lived in a mill

  Faddy O faddy O faddy O faddy O farding lay.

The frog he would a-wooing ride

  Farding link-a-laddie

Sword and buckler by his side

  Faddy O faddy O faddy O faddy O farding lay.

He rode till he came to the mouse’s hall

And there did knock and there did call.

‘O Mistress Mouse, are you within?

Yes, kind sir, I sit and spin.’

‘O Mistress Mouse, will you marriage make

With the frog that is so black?’

‘Uncle Rat is not at home

I can’t consent till his return.’

When Uncle Rat came home at night

‘Has anyone been here since I went out?’

‘Yes, there’s been a gentleman

Who says he’ll marry me if he can.’

‘We’ll have the marriage in the mill

The drums shall beat and the bells shall ring.’

The drums did beat and the bells did ring

When in came the cat and her kitling.

The cat she seized the rat by the crown

The kittling knocked the mousey down.

The frog he jumped into a brook

Where he was gobbled up by a duck.

 

109
The Herring’s Head

Oh what’ll I do with my herring’s head

Oh what’ll I do with my herring’s head?

We’ll make them into loaves of bread

Herring’s head, loaves of bread

And all manner of things.

Chorus

Of all the fish that live in the sea

The herring is the one for me

How are ye the day, how are ye the day

How are ye the day, me hinny O?

What’ll I do with my herring’s eyes

Oh what’ll I do with my herring’s eyes?

We’ll make them into puddings and pies

Herring’s eyes, puddings and pies

Herring’s head, loaves of bread

And all manner of things.

… herring’s fins … needles and pins

… herring’s guts … a pair of boots

… herring’s belly … a lass called Nelly

… herring’s tail … a barrel of ale

… herring’s scales … a ship that sails

 

110
The Hungry Fox

A hungry fox jumped up in a fright

And he begged for the moon to give him light

For he had many miles to trot that night

Before he got back to his den O, den O, den O

For he had many miles to trot that night

Before he got back to his den O.

So he cocked up his head and out went his tail

And off he went on the long, long trail

Which he’d done many times in calm and gale

But he always got back to his den O, etc.

And soon he came to the old farmyard

Where the ducks and the geese to him were barred

But he always got one by working hard

To take back to his den O, etc.

He grabbed the grey goose by the neck

And he slung him right across his back

And the old grey goose went quack, quack, quack

But the fox was off to his den O, etc.

Old Mother Slipper Slopper jumped out of bed

And out of the window she poked her head

‘Oh John, John, the grey goose is gone

And the fox is off to his den O’, etc.

John went up to the top of the hill

And he blew a trumpet loud and shrill

Said the fox, ‘That’s very pretty music, still

I’d rather be in my den O’, etc.

At last he got back to his den

To his dear little foxes eight, nine, ten

And they’ve had many fat geese since then

And sometimes a good fat hen O, etc.

 

111
The Keeper

The keeper he a-shooting goes

All amongst his bucks and does

All for to shoot at the barren doe

She’s amongst the leaves of the green O.

Chorus

Jacky boy – Master

Sing well – Very well

High down – Ho down

Derry derry down

Amongst the leaves so green O

To my high down down – To my ho down down

High down – Ho down

Derry derry down

Amongst the leaves so green O.

The first doe he shot at he missed

The second doe he trimmed he kissed

The third doe’s away where nobody whist

She’s amongst the leaves of green O.

The fourth doe she did cross the plain

The keeper fetched her back again

Where she is now she may remain

She’s amongst the leaves of green O.

The fifth doe she did cross the brook

The keeper fetched her back with his hook

Where she is now you must go and look

She’s amongst the leaves of green O.

 

112
Old King Cole

* Repeat this bar as necessary in subsequent verses.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his fiddlers three, three

Now one of those fiddlers had a very fine fiddle

And a very fine fiddle had he, he

Fiddle diddle dee, went the fiddler

Fiddle diddle dee.

There’s none so rare as can compare

With the sons of harmony.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his fifers three, three

Now one of those fifers had a very fine fife

And a very fine fife had he, he

Fi-fye fi-fye fi-fye, went the fifer

And fiddle diddle dee, went the fiddler

Fiddle diddle dee.

There’s none so rare as can compare

With the sons of harmony.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his drummers three, three

Now one of those drummers had a very fine drum

And a very fine drum had he, he

Lie diddle de um dum dum, went the drummer, etc.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his harpers three, three

Now one of those harpers had a very fine harp

And a very fine harp had he, he

Clang clang clang, went the harper, etc.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his trumpeters three, three

Now one of those trumpeters had a very fine trumpet

And a very fine trumpet had he, he

Wum-pum pum pum pum, went the trumpeter, etc.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his tailors three, three

Now one of those tailors had a very fine needle

And a very fine needle had he, he

‘Put it through his coat,’ said the tailor, etc.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his cobblers three, three

Now one of those cobblers had a very fine cobble

And a very fine cobble had he, he

‘Put it through his cut,’ said the cobbler, etc.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his painters three, three

Now one of those painters had a very fine brush

And a very fine brush had he, he

‘Dab it up against the wall,’ said the painter, etc.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his parsons three, three

Now one of those parsons had a very fine book

And a very fine book had he, he

‘Lord have mercy on his soul,’ said the parson, etc.

Now old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a good old soul was he, was he

He called for his bottle and he called for his glass

And he called for his coachmen three, three

Now one of those coachmen had a very fine horse

And a very fine horse had he, he

[spoken] Now, ladies and gentlemen as I was in the street walking along
one day a carriage and pair came and stopped outside a chemist shop.
The horses took fright at something and dashed into the window

‘Damn and blast his eyes,’ said the coachman

‘Hit him over the head,’ said the bobbie

‘Lord have mercy on his soul,’ said the parson

‘Dab it up against the wall,’ said the painter

‘Put it through his cut,’ said the cobbler

‘Put it through his coat,’ said the tailor

Wum-pum pum pum pum, went the trumpeter

Clang clang clang, went the harper

Lie diddle de um dum dum, went the drummer

Fi-fye fi-fye fi-fye, went the fifer

And fiddle diddle dee, went the fiddler

Fiddle diddle diddle diddle dee.

There’s none so rare as can compare

With the sons of harmony.

 

113
Three Sons of Rogues

Version 1

In good King Arthur’s days

He was a merry king

He turned three servants out of doors

Because they wouldn’t sing

Because they wouldn’t sing

Because they wouldn’t sing

He turned three servants out of doors

Because they wouldn’t sing.

The first he was a miller

The second he was a weaver

The third he was a little tailor

Three thieving rogues together, etc.

The miller he stole corn

The weaver he stole yarn

The little tailor he stole broadcloth

To keep those three rogues warm, etc.

The miller was drowned in his dam

The weaver was hanged in his yarn

The devil ran off with the little tailor

With his broadcloth under his arm, etc.

Version 2

When good King Arthur ruled this land

He was a goodly king

He stole three pecks of barley-meal

To make a bag-pudding.

A bag-pudding the king did make

And stuffed it well with plums

And in it put great lumps of fat

As big as my two thumbs.

The king and queen did eat thereof

And noblemen beside

And what they could not eat that night

The queen next morning fried.

 

114
The Tree in the Wood

O in yon wood there was a tree

As nice a tree as e’er you saw

And the tree was in the wood

And the wood lies down in the valley O

And the wood lies down in the valley O.

And on that tree there was a limb

As nice a limb as e’er you saw

And the limb was on the tree

And the tree was in the wood

And the wood lies down in the valley O

And the wood lies down in the valley O.

And on that limb there was a branch, etc.

And on that branch there was a spray, etc.

And on that spray there was a nest, etc.

And in that nest there was an egg, etc.

And in that egg there was a bird, etc.

And on that bird there was a feather, etc.