Fagan held his breath when Beck didn't say anything. He prayed he hadn't offended the man. At the monastery, punishments were swift and harsh. He had no idea what to expect from Beck.
"I'm sorry," Fagan whispered, feeling the need to apologize for something. He just didn't know what.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, little one."
Fagan leaned back when he felt Beck move. Not because he didn't want to be touching the guy, because he did. There was something about Beck that gave him flights of fancy, made him wish for things he shouldn't be wishing for. Fagan was afraid Beck would realize just how affected he really was by the man's touch.
He'd taken sex education as one of his required classes. It had been part of his training. Every omega was to know how to pleasure his master. Fagan just had no practical experience. Hearing about sex and reading about it were a far cry from actually experiencing it.
"What is a mate?" Fagan knew the technical definition of the word. He just didn't understand how it applied to his current situation.
"For a shifter, a mate is someone special meant just for him."
"Meant for him how?"
Fagan grunted when he was grabbed and pulled to Beck's chest. He inhaled a slow, shaky breathe then immediately regretted it when he got a lungful of Beck. Pure masculine male. It was a strong scent, hot and thick.
It made Fagan ache.
"When you were born, all of the eligible alphas were brought to the Comhairle de Trí. The Council of Three. The Síceach chose me as your mate."
"Why?"
"I don't know how the Síceach knows who to mate to who, but—."
"No, I mean, why were you chosen as my mate? Why was anyone chosen?"
"Damn it, I can't believe you don't know your own people's history."
"I was taught history."
Beck snorted rudely. "You weren't taught Sidhe history. If you had been, you'd know that a thousand years ago, there was a great war. It pitted humans against shifters against Sidhe. It was bloody and violent and many died, too many."
"Why?" Fagan shuddered as he thought about all the people who'd died. He might not have known who they were, but he still felt for them.
"Power, mostly. People who didn't have any wanted it and people who had it didn't want to give it up. The unfortunate part was by the time those in power figured out a way to stop the war, so many people had died, that there were barely any shifters or Sidhe left. The world had turned to one ruled by humans."
"Is that why I didn't know about shifters and Sidhe?" There had never been anything mentioned in all of the books he'd read. He would have remembered that.
"I can't explain why you weren't taught this history because you should have been. And believe me, I will be finding out."
A great sadness enveloped Fagan, weighing heavy on him. He settled against Beck and laid his head on the man's chest. "How did they stop the war?"
"A council was established with an elder from each of the three species. Human, shifter, and Sidhe. The humans had compassion, the shifters had strength, and the Sidhe had wisdom. It was decided the only way to save the world was to put into place a set of rules that everyone had to follow."
Fagan frowned as he tried to remember any rules he'd been taught that would fit into anything like that, and he couldn't think of a single one.
"It was also decided that there needed to be a sacred bond to keep the peace."
Fagan swallowed tightly. "A bond?"
"Once every twenty-five years, five omegas are born to the Sidhe. They're brought before the high council and bonded to shifter kings to ensure that shifters always protect the Sidhe and the humans as well as their own. Those omegas are sent to the monastery where they are to be cared for and taught by the human monks until their twenty-fifth birthdays, when they are reunited with their shifter mates. During those twenty-five years, each shifter king and four of his most loyal warriors protect the high council."
"How does that create a sacred bond?"
"Each shifter king provides five warriors—himself included—to guard the high council to ensure bonds of brotherhood. The Sidhe provide five omegas to be mated to the shifter kings to ensure that shifters always protect those not able to shift. And the humans provide the care and training to the omegas to ensure that the compassion and empathy for those not as strong as us are not forgotten."
Fagan sighed. "I guess that means I'm the omega sacrifice this time around."
"You are not a sacrifice, Fagan. You are a gift."
Fagan pressed his hand to the side of Beck's face. Most people weren't aware of just how much their expressions gave them away. They looked at people's faces. They didn't touch them and feel their muscles move when they spoke.
"Do you mean that?" Fagan asked.
"I do. You were cute as a baby, but you're beautiful as a man, and I can't wait to get to know you better."
"You really saw me when I was a baby?"
Fagan felt Beck's facial muscles move and knew the man was smiling.
"Give me your right hand."
Fagan held out his hand. He shivered when Beck traced a small scar in the palm of his hand.
"Feel that?"
Fagan nodded. He'd had that scar as long as he could remember. He just had no idea how he'd gotten it.
"Now, feel my palm."
Fagan ran his fingers over Beck's palm until he found a small scar crossing the very center. He gasped. "You have a scar just like I do."
"I do. When the Síceach chose me as your mate, they performed a blood right ritual to bind us together. It means no other shifter could ever have you. Just me."
Fagan was shocked at how overjoyed Beck sounded about that. "You don't know me," he insisted.
"Not yet, but I will."
"I could be a psychotic axe murderer."
Beck's eyebrow lifted. "Are you?"
"No, but—"
Beck chuckled. "It'll happen in time, little one. Not to worry. We have a lot of learning to do with each other, but we already have a bond that entwines our souls. Nothing will ever change that."
Fagan's breathe caught as a thought formed in his head, growing larger until it was almost impossible to draw air into his lungs.
"Fagan, what's wrong?"
"You're my golden warrior," Fagan whispered. He didn't know whether to be overjoyed and frightened. Maybe both.
Beck's dark eyebrow lifted again. "Your golden what?"
"When I meditate every morning, there's a warmth that surrounds me. I feel a presence in that warmth, almost as if someone is there, protecting me and keeping me warm." Fagan drew in a shaky breathe. "It's you. It has to be."
There was no other explanation, not if what Beck said about their bond was true. It also might explain why he wasn't afraid of Beck, even though the man could shift into a tiger. Logically, he should have been terrified. He just wasn't.
"Can you shift back to your tiger form?"
"Of course," Beck answered instantly. "Move back a little. I don't want to crush you."
Fagan scooted back then waited. He felt the flow of air change and knew Beck had shifted. Fagan sighed as he reached out and sank his fingers into the tiger's soft fur. He leaned forward and rubbed his face along the tiger's neck.
"Thank you."
"You're more than welcome, Fagan. I'll shift whenever you want."
"You're just so soft. Don't get me wrong, my bedding back at the monastery was fine, but I've never felt anything as soft as your fur."
"You can stretch out on top of me if you want."
Fagan popped up. "On top of you?"
"I'm pretty big, Fagan. I think I can handle it."
Yeah, Fagan reasoned that that might be true, but he wasn't sure he could. Still, it was an offer too good to refuse. He moved slowly, carefully, climbing on top of Beck and stretching out along his long furry body.
Fagan groaned as Beck's fur brushed across all the exposed parts of his body. He couldn't imagine what this might be like naked, skin to fur. Well, yes he could. He just wasn't brave enough to ask about it.
"Comfy?"
Fagan grinned. "Yeah."
His eyes slid closed when Beck began to purr. He could feel the vibrations against his cheek. "Thank you for this," he whispered again.
"You're my mate, Fagan. I can't think of anything I wouldn't give you if it is within my power. Making you happy is not only my privilege, it's my duty as a shifter."
"What exactly is a mate?" he asked. "You never said."
"For a shifter, a mate is everything. From this moment forward, everything I do will be geared around you. Your protection, your happiness, your well being. You are now the center of my world."
For the life of him, Fagan couldn't understand why Beck sounded so overjoyed about that. "And what do you get out of our mating?"
"You."
Well, that didn't sound right.
"Beck—"
"You're not a shifter, so I know you don't understand, but for us, a mate is everything."
"You said that already."
"But, it's true, Fagan. My soul cries out for you, aches for you. Finally holding you in my arms and knowing you're mine fills me with a sense of peace and contentment I've never felt before. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in my life."
Fagan wasn't sure he had anything to say to that.
"My tiger is ecstatic," Beck continued. "To him, you smell better than the sweetest berries or the richest meat. You're better than lounging next to a high mountain lake or running all out through a thick forest. He wants to cover you in our scent so everyone knows you belong to us."
Fagan grinned as he rubbed his cheek against Beck's fur. "Is that why you let me lay on you?"
Beck chuckled. "That's one of the reasons."
Fagan suspected there was more to it than Beck was letting on, but he wasn't comfortable with the man enough to question him. At least not about that.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah, a bit."
"Greyson is supposed to be getting us something to eat."
Fagan lifted his head. "I can make us something. I did take gourmet cooking classes."
"I don't mean to be insensitive, but how can you cook?"
"You mean because I'm blind?"
"Yes."
"One of my earliest memories was of the headmaster telling me that my blindness would not be an excuse to not take care of my master. I was taught that I might have to try a bit harder, but there isn't anything a seeing person can do that I can't."
At least, not that he knew of.
"Can you drive a car?"
"No, but none of the elders could either."
Beck chuckled. "I don't tend to drive a car very much so it shouldn't be a problem."
"Do you have a motorcycle like the others?"
"I do."
Fagan winced. "Oh."
The muscles beneath Fagan's face tensed. "Do you not like motorcycles, little one?"
"No, it's not that. I just...it was cold and then I burned my leg on the muffler and we crashed and—"
Beck shifted from one second to the next then wrapped Fagan up in his arms. "I could have lost you before I even had you."
Fagan grew confused when he felt Beck shaking with fear. He didn't understand this attachment the man seemed to have for him. They might have met when he was an infant, but Fagan certainly didn't remember it.
That didn't mean he didn't like being held pressed against Beck's naked body, because he did. Maybe a little too much. He tried to squirm away when his cock hardened in his pants. They were made a of a thin white cotton. There was no way for him to hide how Beck was making him feel.
He knew his face was heating up when Beck grabbed his chin and lifted his face. He could feel the warmth blooming across his cheeks. He gasped when Beck reached down and pressed a hand against his aching cock.
"This is a good thing, little one."
How could it be? He was embarrassing himself, putting his needs before his master's. It was strictly forbidden. That had been drummed into Fagan's head. His body belonged to his master. It was up to his master to decide what was done with it.
Fagan pulled away. He was surprised that Beck easily let him go. He scooted back until he felt the wall at his back. "You have my deepest apologies."
"Apologies?" Beck echoed.
Fagan pressed his hands flat against his thighs and stared straight ahead. "I'm afraid my training is failing me. I am unable to quiet my body's response to your presence. I will endeavor to behave with more decorum in the future."
"Didn't you hear me, Fagan? This is a good thing. Mates are supposed to be attracted to each other." Beck inhaled so deeply, Fagan could hear it. "I can smell your arousal."
Oh god.