BY THE TIME the speeches start, a dozen social justice warriors have been stretchered out of Hyde Park due to the heat. It’s forty-two degrees this Australia Day, but no one who lives west or north of the Great Dividing Range would call it a scorcher. Nothing that a hat and a pair of sunglasses can’t fix.
This is the first ‘Change the Date’ rally I’ve ever been to. My favourite cousin, Andrew, who I’ve dragged along for the ride, has been spouting smart-arse remarks since we arrived half an hour ago. I can tell he’s having a good time.
He smirks every time some pink-faced, blue-haired university student passes out. Andrew hates university students. He says they do nothing but complain about how hard it is to study while living off his hard-earned tax dollars. I think Andrew secretly wishes he’d gone to university. In our family, no one goes – next year, I’ll be the first.
‘Check out Captain Cook,’ says Andrew, pointing to the statue of the man who ‘discovered’ Australia, looking down on us from the security of his plinth. ‘You don’t hear him whining about the heat.’
‘Or the bird poo,’ I add.
The great explorer’s head and shoulders are resplendent with a white crust of pigeon excrement.
‘Do you think they should tear the statue down?’ I ask cautiously. Apart from the occasional bitter barb, Andrew stays out of Indigenous issues. We’re both Kamilaroi – my dad and Andrew’s mum are brother and sister – but Andrew just gets on with it. I used to do that too, but it never got me anywhere.
Andrew considers the question for a moment, brings the brim of his black Akubra down further over his eyes.
‘You know what I reckon, Shauna?’
‘What?’
‘I reckon they should tear the bugger down and replace it with a statue of Captain Hook.’
For an electrician from Bathurst, he’s pretty droll.
I smile faintly, fishing for a good enough response, trying to remember Peter Pan.
‘Captain Hook with his ticking crocodile?’
‘Time’s chasing both of them, isn’t it?’
He guffaws at his own joke – it’s a family trait. He’s so loud that the people in front of us turn around and give us dirty looks because a Greens MP is on the podium, mid-speech. He’s telling us how Australia Day should fall on a day that doesn’t cause hurt to Aboriginal Australians. And that Captain Cook has to go.
I imagine a Captain Hook statue and burst into giggles, drawing more death looks from the social justice warriors blocking our view. I guess we should be more respectful to the people championing our causes.
It’s not as though we are the only black people here. A large mob of Kooris marching from Redfern arrived around the time we did. But they’re not the ones making the racket. I can’t speak for everyone, but I think we just want to be acknowledged, not as Aboriginal Australians but as Australians. I’d be satisfied if someone whipped out a Sharpie and scribbled over the word ‘discovered’ on Captain Cook’s plaque. You can’t discover a country that’s already groaning with people.
When a ‘tear it down!’ chant goes up, Andrew rolls his eyes and I know it’s time to go. He’s no activist. He came reluctantly to this event. He turns to me with a grimace.
‘Why don’t we float? I don’t want to waste a day in Sydney talking about statues and dates. Let’s go down to Circular Quay and do something important.’
‘Lunch?’
‘You could twist my arm.’
We have an awesome seafood lunch at a flash restaurant by the harbour. It’s Andrew’s treat because he’s got a great new job at Country Energy in Bathurst. He started off as an apprentice electrician when he was sixteen, and now, at the age of twenty-three, he’s practically the boss. Well – not quite, but he gets paid a lot.
Andrew gives me a lot of grief about the school I board at, Oakholme College, because it’s seriously posh. Of course I’m there on a scholarship. There’s no way my parents could afford to send me there otherwise. They have to draw down on their mortgage every year just to buy the books. I’m not kidding.
There are all kinds of scholarships on offer at Oakholme – music, sport, nerd. I’m the holder of an Indigenous scholarship, which the school gives to one girl a year, usually in Year 7 or Year 8. My best friend Lou-Anne and I are the only girls from the recent crop who’ve survived. Lou-Anne’s in Year 11 now. She got the scholarship a year after I did, and I don’t think either of us would still be there if it weren’t for the other. This year there’s a new Year 7 girl who I’ve been asked to ‘mentor’, a job I’m not looking forward to because I’m not exactly the maternal type. However, starting the year with a ‘friend’ is supposed to make things easier for the poor kid. I’m in favour of the new mentorship program – I just wish I wasn’t leading the charge.
‘Any hotties in your year?’ Andrew asks me over dessert. The reason he and I are in Sydney together is that he’s dropping me off at school for the beginning of first term. Even though he teases me about Oakholme I can tell that it’s from a perspective of disgusted fascination. He often asks me questions about what goes on at school on the pretext of running it down.
‘Well, there’s Lou-Anne.’
Andrew groans. He’s met Lou-Anne a few times. Sometimes she stays with my family during the holidays.
‘What’s wrong with Lou-Anne?’
‘She’s not my type, Shauna.’
‘As if any private school girl’s your type. You’d run a mile if I introduced you to a typical Oakholme princess.’
Andrew looks down at his dessert. The fact is that he’s repelled by anything that smacks of privilege, but embarrassed by anything that reeks of poverty. Somehow I just know though, that when he has kids, they’ll go to private schools.
‘Look,’ I continue breezily, ‘seeing as you’re asking, there’s a really beautiful girl in my year called Keli Street-Hughes. She’s peaches and cream. Porcelain skin. Strawberry blonde hair. Curvy.’
‘What about her personality?’ asks Andrew, his eyes narrowing. He knows when he’s being played.
‘Great personality. She’s an absolute delight.’ I try not to smile but Andrew must pick up on the laughter in my eyes.
‘I can’t wait to meet her,’ he says. Then, with a hop of his eyebrows he adds, ‘She sounds almost too good to be true.’
‘Oh, she is. Almost.’
Keli Street-Hughes happens to be the bane of my existence at Oakholme College. She is not beautiful, she does not have a great personality, and she certainly is not a delight. In spite of being an inveterate racist and general ignoramus, she’s managed to scale the heights of Oakholme social life by dint of extreme yet seemingly baseless confidence. Keli’s never experienced a shaky moment and somehow that’s been enough to make her very popular. She’s even a hit among the teachers, an amazing feat for someone who always gets such crap marks.
I’d never introduce any member of my family to Keli. It’d be a gold-plated free kick in her favour.
Even so, as Andrew pulls into the Oakholme car park, I can’t help but call his bluff.
‘Are you coming in to meet Keli?’
He ums and ahs and makes excuses about having to get back to Bathurst to help my uncle Mick set up some backyard lighting.
‘Behave yourself this year, Shauna,’ he says knowingly, with a peck to my cheek. I guess he’s referring to New Year’s Eve. We camped together at a music festival, but I escaped his supervision and did not behave myself. Let’s just say it involved some alcohol and a swag belonging to a very gorgeous guy by the name of Nathan O’Brien. Andrew was meant to be keeping me out of mischief and he obviously didn’t do a very good job.
‘I will,’ I reply, my arms around his neck.
With an overstuffed sports bag slung over each shoulder, I watch my cousin drive away, swaying under a wave of homesickness. Andrew came all the way from his place in Bathurst to my parents’ place in Barraba to pick me up. Usually I catch the train from Tamworth because my dad’s busy with work and my mum’s not up to driving long distances, but today I got the silver service. Not for nothing is Andrew my favourite cousin.
Of course the start of a new term at Oakholme does have its advantages. I never get tired of that first walk through the tall sandstone gates and then seeing the chapel gardens. Flame trees and jacarandas have showered carpets of red and lilac over the expansive lawn. Inhaling the scent of climbing rose mingled with warm sea air, I head past the white sandstone chapel with its cloud-spiking spire and stained-glass windows towards the dormitory building, a two-storey Federation-style monolith with wraparound verandahs. Beyond the school buildings are the cliffside sports fields that give way to sheer, sparkling waterfront. This is some of the most valuable real estate in the country. This is my school, but every time I come back here after a break, I feel like an invader.
As I head up the sweeping staircase to the dorm rooms, I hear hungry, raucous laughter and hope that some of my friends have arrived already. I share my dorm room with a great group of girls: Lou-Anne, Indumathi and Bindi. I don’t expect Indu and Bindi will be here today, but Lou-Anne’s coming all the way from Eumundi in Queensland. Like me, she’ll probably need a day before school starts to recover from the trip, mentally and physically. Lou-Anne’s the baby of a huge family and she’s usually pretty homesick for the first few days.
‘Keli, you cow!’ I hear a familiar ocker shriek echo through the stairwell. It’s Annabel Saxon, Keli Street-Hughes’s permanent sidekick from Albury. She’s more or less the same as Keli, but washed out and sucked in. A few seconds later the diabolical duo comes hammering down the stairs wearing pillowslips on their heads. I guess they must have let the excitement of making their beds get the better of them.
I turn side-on and squeeze my belly against the rail, but Keli slams into me with her shoulder and clatters onto the landing three steps below.
‘Oh, sorry,’ she says through haws of laughter before removing the pillowslip. Sprawled on the tiles, long ginger hair akimbo, she looks up at me red-faced and grits her teeth. I guess she’s not sorry after all.
Sycophantic Annabel skids to her knees at Keli’s side as though she’s just fallen down three flights rather than three steps.
‘Are you okay, Kel?’
‘I’m fine,’ Keli replies stoically.
Annabel’s pinched, mousy face turns to me. Her eyes burn with accusations infinitely worse than those that fall from her lips. ‘You should watch where you’re going.’
‘You were wearing pillowslips on your heads.’
‘Yeah,’ retorts Annabel, ‘and you weren’t. So you should have seen us.’
She helps Keli to her feet. I turn to leave this ridiculous situation before they say anything else stupid.
‘Is that a “Change the Date” badge you’re wearing, Shauna?’
I’d forgotten about that. Someone handed it to me at the rally and I’d pinned it to my t-shirt. I don’t really care if they change the date or not. The rally didn’t change my opinion. I just want to be treated well when I’m in my own country.
‘Wow, you learned to read over the holidays, Keli?’
Keli scoffs and shakes her head in disgust. ‘You people. So ungrateful. If it weren’t for us you wouldn’t even exist. Your ancestors would have starved to death. You should celebrate Australia Day by thanking every real Aussie you see today.’
‘Yeah, Shauna. Have some pride.’
Where to start? That’s the problem with taking on Keli & Co. No sane, reasonable person would know where to start. Sometimes they make me so angry that I come out with extreme statements that I don’t even believe.
Like, ‘There’s no pride in genocide, Annabel.’ I regret it as soon as I say it.
They exchange raised eyebrows and burst into peals of laughter.
‘“There’s no pride in genocide,”’ they mimic. And they keep repeating it as I bound up the stairs to my dorm room, hot-faced and brimming with all the excoriating one-liners I didn’t think of at the time.
What a great start to the new term! I’ve already been mocked, blamed for something I didn’t do and racially vilified! If I didn’t think that Keli Street-Hughes was such a joke, I might even take it personally. The moment I walk into our dorm room, I rip off the badge and chuck it into the rubbish bin. I fume, furious at myself for fuming about Keli Street-Hughes.
Keli, like me, is a boarder from the country. Almost all the boarders are country girls, or ‘scrubchooks’ as Lou-Anne and I call them behind their sunburnt backs. Keli’s from Coleambally, and her dad is a seriously rich intergenerational cotton farmer. He’s the Tampon King of the Riverina, as Keli herself once joked.
If you could look up ‘scrubchook’ in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of Keli Street-Hughes at the races. She’s a flame-haired, pearl-choked, saddle-bag-with-eyes. She’s one hundred per cent freckle. I don’t have a problem with freckles per se – only malignant ones. To put it bluntly, because there is no other way of describing Keli’s feelings, she hates Aboriginal people with a passion. It’s got something to do with a friend of her mother’s who was raped and murdered by two Aboriginal men before Lou-Anne and I were even born.
Like a lot of white country folk, Keli has decided to hold the misdeeds and shortcomings of every bad Aboriginal person in history against us. Lou-Anne’s a Torres Strait Islander, for Heaven’s sake. For years Keli has been coughing and spluttering racist words at us from just within earshot. Boong. Coon. Gin. All ugly, all one syllable, and all cough-able, so that were we to report Keli’s behaviour to a teacher, she could always claim that she’d just coughed. She’s learned to refine her behaviour after a couple of dobbings-in.
When I was in Year 9 I gave someone in authority the full details of her nonsense. It was our down-to-earth school chaplain, Reverend Ferguson. By then I’d been having weekly counselling sessions with her for over a year and I’d begun to trust her. The harassment stopped dead for about six months before starting again in subtler – for Keli – ways. I thought I had her nailed to the wall in Year 10 when she stuck a sign on the door of our dorm room that said:
OAKHOLME DETENTION CENTRE WARNING: ETHNICS SLEEP HERE
I handed the sign to Reverend Ferguson, who passed it on to Mrs Green, our small, single, serious principal, who for some reason to do with respectability persists with the surname of her ex-husband. I really hoped that Keli would be crucified, or at least yelled at. Instead I was called into Mrs Green’s chic, modern office (one of the walls is an aquarium), where she told me that Keli denied posting the note and without any proof there was not much that could be done about it.
‘I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you, Shauna,’ she said in her cold, cultivated, near-English accent. ‘Whoever wrote this is an ignorant little philistine.’ (Like, duh.) ‘You’re not even an ethnic.’
I suppose I was so shocked that thin, neat Mrs Green (she looks like a vanilla pod with the seeds scraped out) also thought the word ‘ethnic’ should be used as a noun and not an adjective, that I was struck dumb. I just didn’t have the confidence to say but what about all the other stuff?
At my next session with Reverend Ferguson, I told her what had happened and asked her whether she’d spoken to Mrs Green about all the other nasty comments.
‘The school does have a strict anti-bullying policy,’ she told me, ‘but I suppose Mrs Green’s worried about creating a legal situation with Keli’s parents over things that are difficult to prove. Next time something happens, come and tell me straight away.’
Well, I thought that was exactly what I’d done! I found it harder to trust Reverend Ferguson after that, but I’d never quite trusted Mrs Green, so that was no loss. All that happened was that all the boarders got a lecture from Mrs Green about bullying.
A few years before I arrived at Oakholme there was a student who was almost bullied to death. I mean she was literally suicidal after finding a webpage set up by fellow students dedicated to mocking and denigrating her. The legacy of those morons – they remained at the school and the victim left – is a ban on using mobile phones and social media at school. Everyone grumbles about it, and there’s certainly a lot of covert online activity, but as the only boarders who don’t own mobile phones, Lou-Anne and I don’t give a hoot. Some of the boarders’ parents complain, too, because they can’t contact their kids as frequently. Still, the policy has, in theory, stuck. Any boarder who wants to make a phone call has to use the landline in Miss Maroney’s office.
As far as I know, Keli has never set up a webpage committed to my denigration. She prefers to air her gripes the old-fashioned way. She coughs, splutters and scoffs racist taunts in Lou-Anne’s and my direction. I’m a bigger target, I think, because, as a Kamilaroi on Dad’s side, I look more like the kind of black that Keli speeds past on the main street of Coleambally in her mum’s Rolls. I’m tall and rangy, with big, flashing eyes. Lou-Anne, whose people are from Thursday Island, is more of a gentle, benign island princess, even though she could probably kill you with a well-placed headbutt if she chose to.
I must admit that although Keli’s harassment is galling, the longer it goes on, the more idiotic her hatred and snobbery seem. Last year we started to bite back. Lou-Anne had always been the one to tell me to calm down and ignore Keli, but even she retaliated.
One of Keli’s many well-aired grievances is that we’re here on scholarships whereas her parents have to pay school fees. She was complaining stridently about it in the row behind us during assembly one morning.
‘. . . and our parents are paying for these freeloaders to be here.’
‘And our tax pays for their parents’ welfare,’ added one of the coven.
I couldn’t help myself. I whipped around.
‘My parents aren’t on welfare,’ I pointed out. ‘My dad’s a truckie and my mum’s an artist.’
‘Drink driving and dot paintings don’t count,’ said Keli, and everyone giggled.
Then Lou-Anne turned around too. ‘My parents are on welfare,’ she said, grinning and looking Keli right in the eye. ‘So say thanks to your dad for us, Keli.’
‘Yeah, Keli,’ I said. ‘Say thanks to your dad. We’ll pay him back one day.’
Keli fell silent and blushed so badly that her skin matched her long, fiery plait and even her ears turned red. She never mentioned her father’s dollar again, but we do. Now, practically every time we see her, we coo, ‘Say thanks to your dad, Keli!’ She always turns to her friends and they gather together in conspiratorial whispers before erupting into carefree laughter. They’re pathetic. I can hear their grubby squawks from my dorm room.
Most of the girls at Oakholme College aren’t like that. Most of the daygirls are falling over themselves to be nice to us. I have one real daygirl friend and her name is Jenny Bean. Jenny’s very intelligent and will probably be dux of the school. Although we were in some of the same classes when I arrived at Oakholme College in Year 8, we didn’t become friends until a school trip to Toulouse in Year 10, when we got billeted by the same French family. We’re both nuts about the French language and culture and, ever since the trip, we’ve been planning to travel to France together after the HSC. This time: Paris. Forget schoolies week on the Gold Coast, we’re hitting the Champs-Élysées! For the last two years we’ve been reading books and watching films set in Paris, and we just can’t wait. It’s one of the roots of our friendship.
Jenny isn’t one of the ‘nice’ girls who go cross-eyed pretending that they haven’t noticed I’m Aboriginal, or act like it doesn’t matter. She’s always been curious about my family and what I do during the holidays. She never tries to sweep the differences between her and me under the carpet and make out like life’s the same for both of us. Though we attend the same school, I’m a boarder and she’s a daygirl. Friendships across this divide are pretty rare.
To me, the daygirls get liberties that we boarders can only dream of, like free time and privacy. The life of a boarder is strictly regimented, and that’s why I enjoy arriving at school a day early at the beginning of term. When there are just a few boarders around and no daygirls, Oakholme feels like a luxury holiday camp. When school’s in full swing, it seems much more like the institution that it is, with a Monday-to-Friday routine enforced to the minute. Showers, breakfast, roll call, school, prep. (a posh word for homework), recreation, dinner, private study, bedtime. We muck up when we can but there’s not much wiggle room. Even the weekends are structured, with an early morning prep. session on Saturday for boarders like me who don’t do sport and don’t want to cheer the others on. Sunday afternoon there’s chapel, like it or not. From Year 10 onward, we are allowed to go out unaccompanied on Saturdays and Sundays. We usually go to the city to look at shops and eat takeaway in the Botanic Gardens, but we have to be back at school by 6 p.m. Only during school holidays are we truly off the leash.
I unpack my clothes from my bags and place everything neatly in the wardrobe I share with Lou-Anne. By the end of term, all our clothes will be rolled together in an unholy jumble at the bottom. Nothing will be folded or hung. Garments will be sniffed to check whether they’re dirty or clean. We always begin the term with such fine intentions and end it such incurable slobs. In spite of weekly inspections, which we anticipate by kicking stuff under furniture, our dorm tends towards pigsty.
For the moment, though, our room is pristine and actually very beautiful. All the dorm rooms are gigantic, with wide, oak floorboards and high, ornate ceilings. They’re pretty plush, and even with the beds, wardrobes and a couple of Chesterfield lounges, they don’t feel cramped. Once everyone arrives, the deluxe feel will be destroyed by doonas, photos, toys and ornaments, but it will feel a lot more like home.
As boarders at Oakholme College, we’re in the minority. Most of the students are daygirls – rich eastern-suburbs princesses, either from stuck-up old Anglo families or from new Greek, Italian or Chinese money. There are only about forty boarders spread across eight dorm rooms.
On the pinboard above my desk I always stick the same old photo of my family and me. I’m about ten, and we’re standing out the front of my real home. The house where my brother and I were raised in Barraba, in northern New South Wales, is a three-bedroom fibro cottage on cinder blocks with a view of the back fence. It’s about as far from fancy as it gets, but apart from Oakholme, it’s the only place I’ve ever lived. It’s weird to be back at school after the school holidays. For the first few days, whenever I close my eyes, I see my mum in her scuffs in the kitchen and my dad walking across the backyard from his man cave. Then I accept that I’m just not there anymore.
In summer, it’s stinking hot in Barraba, and there are hardly any trees for shade in the suburban area, but Dad keeps the lawn sprayed so you can walk around the whole yard without shoes. That’s one thing I miss about home during the warmer months – the feeling of trodden, brown grass on the soles of my feet on a sunny day. I almost never go barefoot at school.
Still, I don’t think student accommodation comes much flasher than the Oakholme dorms. I remember the first time I walked into the building, when the grandest establishment I’d ever set foot in before was the Barraba courthouse. It was like entering an expensive shop full of stuff I could never afford to buy. On the wall alongside the staircase, there was a life-size painting of the school’s founder, the Reverend Doctor Sterling McBride, that just about scared the life out of me. He’s still hanging around the staircase looking thin-lipped and disapproving, but he doesn’t scare me anymore. In fact I’d like to ask him what those beady little eyes are doing in a girls’ dormitory house!
My dorm buddies and I are always cutting up about Reverend McBride, even though he’s long dead. The other dead guy we poke fun at is Sai Baba, Indu’s spiritual master. It’s his image she pins above her desk. His eyes are kinder than Reverend McBride’s, but they still seem to dart around the room watching us.
Indu has an outrageous sense of humour and is in on our joke, but you can only push her so far. Hinduism is her religion, after all. She literally worships the bearded Sai Baba, who sits cross-legged, barefooted and naked from the waist up (in the image). Back in Year 8 she got called into Reverend Ferguson’s office one day for religious counselling because the school didn’t approve of her worshipping false idols. Yes, incredibly, this is the kind of thing that can happen at Oakholme College.
According to Indu, Reverend Ferguson was super-embarrassed to even broach the issue, which tells me that our dear principal was the real one behind the intervention. Reverend Ferguson’s full name is Reverend Sally Russell-Ferguson – Lou-Anne and I call her ‘SRF’ or ‘Self-Raising Flour’ because she’s so puffed-up, flustered and theatrical. She’s a notorious softie. Following some hot licks from Indu about Sai Baba being a real historical figure and not just some statue, symbol or holy spirit, Reverend Ferguson actually apologised. The tapestry of Sai Baba was never mentioned again by the powers-that-be.
Indu’s parents are both doctors in Mumbai and she would be almost alone in Sydney if it weren’t for us. She has an aunt here who she stays with during the shorter school holidays, but she’s admitted more than once that she feels closer to us than to her aunt and her aunt’s family. This is kind of strange, because at school she stands out as being different even more than Lou-Anne and I do. She speaks with a very un-Australian accent that screams of her native India but also hints at something more English than English itself. Her vocabulary can be odd, too. Every now and then she’ll come out with a word only a great-grandmother would use, like ‘cross’ (when she means angry) or ‘nonsense’, or a phrase like ‘until and unless’.
Bindi, whose dad is Greek, is the final quadrant of our ‘ethnic’ circle. She’s very shy until she trusts you, but once she does trust you, you get too much information. There’s really nowhere she won’t go. Though she can be invasive at times, the upside is that she’s staunchly loyal. You can have a flaming argument with her one moment, but the next she’ll be defending you to someone who’s gossiping about you behind your back.
The four of us oddballs look after each other, and we’re virtually inseparable out of school hours. On my pinboard, along with the photo of my family, I stick a photo of us on the night of the Year 9 and 10 formal. We all thought we looked so great at the time, but now the image is just funny because it’s so embarrassing. There’s way too much of everything that was important to us back then – make-up, push-up bras and trout mouths.
Out of nowhere, a perfectly sung arpeggio comes echoing from the direction of the staircase. I hang one more blouse in the wardrobe before sprinting up the hall and down the stairs. The arpeggio turns to a squeal when Lou-Anne spots me. She drops her luggage and leaps up the stairs, arms outstretched. We meet on the landing by Reverend McBride and hug amid a volley of shrieked greetings. Then we go upstairs together, start making our beds, and end up running around the dorm with our pillowslips on our heads.