When Aiden got to their usual table, Dylan said, “Let’s go eat outside.”
“Can we do that?”
“Yeah. It’s a warm night, and it might be the last one we get. Come on.” He lifted his tray and went out into the hall. The other kids did a poor job of pretending they weren’t watching them. Aiden followed him a short way down the hall and out one of the exit doors. They were at one of the sides of the building, a large space of grass between them and an outdoor field. A few trees lined the edges and there were a few tables, most of them occupied. Dylan went straight for the empty one.
“Did you want to talk or something?” Aiden asked. Short, ornate streetlamps cast enough light on the area for him to see by.
“They were staring at me more than usual. Got on my nerves,” Dylan said with a shrug.
Aiden was starting to get an idea of just how much this bothered him. “If you don’t like people being afraid of you, why do you act the way you do?”
“Everyone made up their minds about me before I was in kindergarten.” He picked a chicken nugget off his ridiculously huge pile.
“But why not prove them wrong?”
“It’s easier this way.”
Aiden frowned. “Easier not to have any friends?”
Dylan gave him a look, eyes glowing with a tiny spark of green. “I don’t need anyone.”
Now Aiden was annoyed. “You can drop the tough-guy act. I get it—you’re a badass, a rebel, a lone wolf. Everyone stays away from you because they’re afraid of you and you act like a jerk.”
“You think I’m a jerk?” His tone wasn’t angry, just curious.
“I think maybe you’re not, but you sure act like it. Why do you even talk to me?”
Dylan was quiet for so long Aiden gave up and started eating his lunch. Today he’d picked a cheeseburger and fries. The food here was surprisingly good, not like any of the school lunches he’d had before.
“Because you didn’t know what I was, so you didn’t look at me like everyone else,” Dylan said quietly. “It was a nice change.”
“What about now?”
“You mean after I freaked you out yesterday?”
Aiden nodded.
“It… bothered me. But it’s still not the same. I mean, you’re still talking to me. You didn’t look like you wanted to hide when I sat in front of you this morning.”
Aiden stared at him and suddenly laughed. “Is it really so hard for you to admit you want a friend?”
Dylan glared. “I don’t—”
“Need anybody. Yeah, I get it.” Aiden rolled his eyes and realized he really wasn’t afraid of Dylan anymore. He took a bite of his burger and swallowed before saying, “Well, I guess I’m a badass rebel too, just for talking to you.” He smiled. He hadn’t been accused of anything like that his whole life. “Even Mr. Johnson warned me you’re dangerous.”
“Who?”
“The guy who first told me I was a changeling. He came to my house and dumped all this on me about a month ago. He said he’s a… what’s the word? Warden.”
A glint of green. “Hm. One of those. Did he tell you what his real job is?”
“He said he makes sure people like us don’t hurt humans, that he’s like a cop for supernatural beings.”
Dylan snorted. “He means he kills any monster he finds that isn’t certified.”
Aiden’s insides gave a cold twist. “But he didn’t kill me.”
“He’s supposed to warn them first, and he probably gave you a lot of leeway because you’re a changeling and had no idea you were fae. But if you left here tonight, tried to go back to the human world, you’d get one warning to come back and earn your certification. And if you didn’t…” Dylan mimed a gun to his head and made a shooting noise.
“Oh.” Not arrested and brought to some kind of monster jail. No trial, just the one warning and that was it. “But… it’s to keep people safe, right? They can’t just let vampires and werewolves and whatever else go around killing people.”
“It’s not just about killing people. We’re not supposed to let humans see us using our powers. That’s why we get certified, so we can prove we can control our powers. Once we leave here, we’re shackled. We have to hide what we are, pretend to be human.”
“And you don’t want to do that?”
Dylan put his elbows on the table, leaned closer. “Here, I get to be exactly what I am. No hiding, no pretending. I can use my powers. I’m free, but I’m trapped in Shadow Valley. So I can stay in town and be dragonkin, or I can leave and pretend to be an ordinary human.” He put one hand out. “Freedom of self.” Then the other. “Or freedom to roam.”
“Don’t you want to control your powers?” That was the entire point of Aiden being here, so he wouldn’t have another incident like what happened in the locker room last year.
“Control, yes. Bottle up, no.”
A light breeze ruffled Aiden’s hair. It really was a beautiful night, and winter would be here before they knew it. “So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” Dylan poked at his chicken nuggets.
“Is that why you come to school late all the time, why you don’t care about getting detention? You really don’t care about graduating, do you?”
He shrugged. “Not really.”
“You know what I want to do?” It was something he hadn’t admitted to anyone, not Mr. Johnson or even his parents. “I want to graduate so I can go find my birth parents, the fae ones. And my brother. I mean, we’re not blood related, but I still think of him as my brother. He’s out there somewhere, in the human world or the fae one. If I learn to control my powers, maybe I’ll be able to track him down.”
Dylan looked at him thoughtfully. “So you really had no idea of what you were?”
Aiden shook his head. “Not until Mr. Johnson told me. I don’t know why my birth parents took a human child, why they left me in his place. And I wonder if my brother knows he’s human, if he feels as out of place as I do.” It was painful to talk about, but it also felt good.
“Huh. I guess I’d want answers too if I was in your place. So you’re not just being a goody-goody; you have a reason.” He dunked a nugget in ketchup and tossed the whole thing into his mouth.
Aiden’s food was once again getting cold. “I’m not a goody-goody. I’ve just always done well at school, and I care about getting good grades. I care about learning.”
“So you are a goody-goody.”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn. Being ignorant isn’t something to be proud of.”
“You think I’m ignorant?” His eyebrow went up.
“I think you’re smarter than you let on, and I think it’s a waste that you don’t apply yourself.”
“Shit, you sound like my mom.”
“Well, she’s right.” Aiden could understand people who struggled with school, who found it difficult. He’d never understood people who just didn’t care.
“Are you going to start nagging me too? Tell me I should think of my future and not give up before I’ve even started?” His tone was teasing, but there was a shadow in his eyes.
Aiden shrugged. “No, I just don’t think it would hurt to try. There’s no reason to fail school even if you don’t want to leave Shadow Valley.”
Dylan stared down at his plate. “You don’t understand.”
“No, but I’d like to.” And just like that, he realized Dylan was his friend, that he cared about him. Aiden wanted to help him, to ease the darkness that hung over him.
Dylan didn’t say anything else until the bell rang and he muttered, “See you later.”
* * *
It was a pleasure to burn. That was from a book, and it wasn’t supposed to be a good thing, but that was how he felt. Those words were so true. Even if a part of him felt guilty, knowing that his greatest power was to destroy. But it felt so good.
Dylan sent another stream of fire at the huge pile of wood. The flames danced, bright orange-yellow, and lit the huge gravel pit. This was the only place he could really let loose, and still he felt like he was capable of more. He dreamed of setting a forest on fire and watching it burn, just for the sheer pleasure. Or a city. All those buildings, sending pillars of smoke and flame into the sky, an orange haze lighting the horizon from one end to the other.
It was almost an ache, a need to push his powers to their limit and revel in the aftermath.
He’d tried talking about this with his mom. She was more dragon than he was, and surely she felt the same thing. But she was so damn Zen about her dragon side, telling him he needed to learn to live with the other side of his nature. The way she said “live with” sounded like “repress.”
With more practice, he might be able to manage a full-size dragon shape. He imagined flying over a large city, New York, or LA, fire streaming from his mouth. Of course, the wardens would come for him. It might take a lot of them, but they’d eventually kill him. They went after uncertified people that hadn’t even hurt anyone. Burning a city like that would bring all of them together to take him down.
The fire crackled and popped, shifting in the breeze. Would it be worth it?
The magic inside him yearned for it. Going out in a literal blaze of glory, but God, would it feel good. Everyone was right to be afraid of him. A monster among monsters.
The sharp scent of smoke filled his nose. Dylan lifted his hands, pouring more fire onto the blaze. It released some of the pressure, but the deep urge never went away.
He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to kill tens or hundreds of thousands of people in a citywide fire. He didn’t want to enjoy burning things so much. He wanted to be human, and yet he didn’t. He loved his magic, and yet he was afraid of it.
He wanted friends, and yet he wanted to stand alone.
He didn’t know what he wanted, and he had a few more years to choose. Graduate high school, be certified to go out into the human world but hide his magic and use it only sparingly. Or stay in Shadow Valley and be who he really was.
Do I even know who I really am? Deep inside the fire, wood turned black and crumbled to ash. Was that what his power would do to him, burn away every other part of him and leave nothing but black dust?
Dylan lifted his face to the dark sky and roared.