Within a few hours of the Wardens abandoning the base, those that did not escape into the tunnels were captured or permanently killed. Some Wardens chose to terminate their own lives with grenades instead of surrendering. CNA ground troops had now arrived to relieve the troops who had mounted the initial attack, but Gavin refused to rest.
He stood inside a field tent, staring at the map of the base on the table before him. He rubbed his eyes when his vision blurred. The attack plan had been solid until everything went wrong.
Houston entered. When she looked up from her panel and saw Gavin standing there, she frowned. “I told you an hour ago to leave. I don’t care if you’re in your twenties again, you’re relieved.”
“Where’s my replacement?” Gavin asked, bitterness in his voice. He waved his arms, highlighting the fact that no one else was inside the tent with them.
“For a man that used to respect my position, you’re mighty defiant now.”
Gavin looked away. “What’s the casualty count?”
“High.” Houston tossed the panel to the table between them.
Gavin stared at the device but didn’t pick it up.
“Why the bullshit game, Gavin? You ask for the casualty count, but you don’t really want to know the answer, do you? Have anything to do with Dani needing surgery to put her back together?”
“She’s tough; she’ll be fine.”
“Will she? Will you?”
Gavin tightened his jaw and lifted the panel from the table. He scanned the numbers, which kept ticking upward as the constant feed of data was relayed to Houston’s device. He dropped the panel back to the table with a clatter and passed his hand over his face. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. We took a damn beating, that’s for sure.”
“What percentage were killed after the Wardens started fleeing the base?”
“That’s the wrong question.”
Gavin glared at Houston. “Don’t try your mind games on me.” She shrugged. “No games, just stating a fact. You’re asking the wrong question.”
“How many died because I made you delay the air strike?”
“Now we have the question you wanted to ask the first time.”
“What’s the answer?”
“It doesn’t matter. As field commander, all combat-related decisions, the right ones and the wrong ones, are mine. You begged for an air strike delay, and I agreed. You didn’t ‘make’ me do anything. We had key people inside the base who we needed out before tearing the place to shreds.”
Gavin shook his head and returned his attention to the map.
“Go ahead and hang on to that guilt as long as you want. Take it to bed with you, let it eat at you, Gavin. It’s not yours to keep, but you’ll do what you want anyway. Right?”
He didn’t answer her, and they both gazed at the map in silence for a few minutes.
“What are you working on for new assignments?” Gavin asked.
“In Maine?”
“Outside of Maine.”
“Before or after Dani is out of the hospital?”
Gavin tensed, but said nothing.
“So, you want to leave before she’s out. Your decision.” Houston shrugged. “You want a small team, or to work solo?”
“Either is fine.”
“I need recon to the north, west, and south, all along Maine’s borders, to identify any Warden outposts in the state. I’m planning to use the local fisherman along the coast to keep an eye on anything coming in from the east. I also want to start probing New Hampshire. Portsmouth is of interest, but we have some CNA presence already in the White Mountains—in Lincoln. I need someone to help organize the Brigands there.”
“I’ll handle the Brigands. Send me to Lincoln. Enlist me as a CNA soldier so I can formally represent you.”
“Enlist? You refused my offer before.”
“I’m not refusing now.”
“As a volunteer, I can put you where I want. If you enlist and become CNA, the brass above me can deploy you where they want. I may not be able to keep you on my assignments.”
Gavin shrugged. “You’ll find a way to keep me if you want me, ma’am.”
“Ah, back to the formalities now? God, you’re fickle.”
“Just handle the goddamn paperwork, Catherine.”
Houston chuckled at his outburst, which infuriated him more.
“Gavin, you’re a mess. You’re exhausted and need to rest before making this kind of decision. Right now, you can’t even decide if we’re on a first-name basis or if you’re still acknowledging military protocol. I bet if I give you a few more flippant answers I can make you homicidal.”
He took a deep breath. “I admit that I am tired, but I know what I’m doing. Put me in the CNA as a soldier, not a volunteer. Do it soon and give me my orders.”
“You are certain?”
He nodded.
“If you change your mind—”
“I won’t.”
“Okay. I’ll give you want you want, now get the hell out of my tent.”
Gavin saluted and left. He wanted to find a tent to rest in, but his feet carried him to the field hospital. CNA troops escorted Warden prisoners in I-cuffs away from the hospital toward a temporary brig. He hoped the prisoners would provide the CNA with some decent intel. He was desperate to know that the cost of this battle was worth something other than so many dead and wounded.
He knew he must look terrible, because several of the staff he questioned regarding Dani’s location tried to triage him. He found Miles and Mary pacing outside one of the field hospital’s surgical tents and cradling mugs of coffee in their hands.
“Where is she?” he asked.
“Out of surgery and in a recovery area,” Mary said. “They only let us see her for a minute.”
“She’s awake?”
Mary shook her head. “It’s bad, Gavin. That fucking Warden got her good with the knife and the other one shot her right in the chest with a quake rifle. She shouldn’t be alive.”
Gavin sighed.
“Are you okay?” Miles asked him.
“Yeah. I look like shit, but regen fixes the internal damage.” Most of it.
“Knocked a decade or two off you, too,” Miles said.
“When did you die?” Mary asked.
“After the towers blew. Sewers collapsed right on top of us.”
“You and Dani lied when you said you would be clear of the air traffic tower?” Mary asked.
“Yeah.”
“And had me detonate on time.”
Gavin nodded.
Mary sighed and shook her head with disgust. “Great. So I almost killed Dani and did manage to kill you. You’re an asshole, Gavin.”
He shrugged. “Not the first time I’ve been told that. Do they know when she’ll wake up?”
“No,” Mary said.
“We can’t continue to hover around here while she sleeps. In a few hours, we go back on duty to start clearing the areas around the base for any Wardens in hiding.” Gavin took Miles’s coffee from him. “You’re on the first rotation, so take your rack time now. Thanks for getting Dani out of the base alive.”
Miles nodded and left.
Gavin lingered. “Mary, I’ll be on patrols most of the time over the next few days, but send word on how she is when you have a break to check on her, will you?”
Mary stared at him a moment. “Why wouldn’t you visit her yourself?”
“I’m taking a new assignment from Houston, so I’ll be leaving soon.”
“How soon?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You’d leave before Dani woke up?”
“That’s bullshit.”
“I will visit her, Mary. I want to be the one to talk to her before I go, okay?”
“Absolutely. No way in hell would I want to deliver the news to her that you’re heading out of town right after she wakes up. I don’t know what’s up your ass or why you’d agree to an assignment like this, but that’s your problem. Don’t expect her to be happy.”
Gavin nodded, his shoulders hunched.
Mary finished her coffee and left.
He considered drinking Miles’s leftover coffee but instead tossed the brown liquid into a snow bank, found a tent with an empty bunk, and collapsed into it. His body was so fatigued that even his guilt-stricken mind couldn’t resist the pull of sleep.