“Yes!” Dani raised her arms in celebration, then lowered them to high-five Oliver.
“That’s your longest one so far today,” he said.
“You’re still beating me. Easily.”
“Stop throwing the heavier rocks. I’ll find the ones you should use.”
Oliver scavenged the beach area for more stones. He picked up several and handed Dani half of his collection. The river was still iced over, so instead of skipping stones, they were throwing them across the ice to see how far they could make them slide.
Dani threw a few more, and Brody whimpered and paced the shoreline. He wanted to chase the stones across the ice, but she wouldn’t let him. This rock didn’t go far; Dani frowned and touched her side where Rowan had stabbed her. The wound and internal injuries were healed, but sometimes her side still ached.
The CNA had chased several leads to find Rowan, but the Warden had reached the safety of Boston before they could catch him. The CNA didn’t bother with further pursuits. Boston was too dangerous for any non-Warden to go near.
“Do you want to stop?”
Dani blinked and turned to the Oliver. “Huh?”
“You’re holding your side. Does it hurt?”
Dani smiled and lowered her hand. “It just aches a little sometimes, like a sore muscle. I’m fine.”
Oliver nodded and left to search for more rocks. Many were stuck to the ice on the ground, so he wrestled with some to break them free. Dani pulled her hat farther down to cover her ears and watched him.
The cloudless sky bathed them in sunlight; it reminded Dani of a time in Portland when she’d stood among the buildings and enjoyed the sun. Her memories continued to come to her in disorganized snippets, but they didn’t startle her like they used to—except the ones with Miles. Those still tended to catch her off guard.
She thought back over her current life. Jace had made a smart decision when he’d taken her to Bangor after fleeing Portland. They’d never lived a life of luxury; meals, shelter, and clothing had only ever come with a lot of work, whether by scavenging, trading, or stealing. But they’d been happy in Bangor.
Dani thought back to the last time she’d stolen something.
The day before I met Oliver, she thought.
She’d almost been killed a few times rescuing him. And he’d been a colossal pain in her ass afterward, until she’d accepted his stubbornness. He, of course, had accepted her on sight; he’d even trusted her to get him out of the mess with the Standpipe falling apart around them when he didn’t even know her.
Good kid.
Her thoughts shifted. He was the one who’d annoyed her into taking action and creating the Brigand–Commonwealth merger. He was also the only person that had known the truth of her sometimes suicidal thoughts after Jace’s death. She’d made him a promise to not hurt herself, and she was determined not to break it. That revolver needed to stay with Hattie, permanently. She didn’t want the reminder of how close she’d come to killing herself.
Tears burned her eyes as she remembered the very dark places she’d gone to after losing Jace. Oliver bringing her Jace’s journal was the only thing that could have brought her back from those depths.
She watched him throw a few more rocks across the ice and smiled. He’d shown her how to skip rocks. The happiness she’d experienced that day was something she’d never felt before.
He caught her watching him, and he walked over. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. Just thinking. Oliver, people have been giving me credit for the partnership forming and for us taking Portland, but I’m not at the root of this thing. I never was.”
“What do you mean?”
“You started it all. Meeting you at the Standpipe changed everything. You called me out for my bullshit when I blamed the CNA for not merging with Brigands and taking the fight to the Wardens. I was so mad at you that day, but I always knew you were right. Everything that’s happened to retake Maine started because of you.”
Oliver shook his head. “You’re forgetting the part where you saved Mom and Dad.”
Dani frowned. “You’re missing my point.”
“No, I’m not.” Oliver smiled. “We’re out here freezing and throwing rocks because you don’t want to be at the meeting in town. Right?”
Dani narrowed her eyes. “Maybe.”
“The day I taught you to skip rocks, Jace thanked me for teaching you how to live. He said you’d spent your entire life surviving, and that wasn’t the same as living. I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant at the time, but I think I get it now.”
“You laugh more now than you did the day I met you.”
Dani nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably true.”
“It is true. You have friends who love you as family, and you love them. You’ve even learned how to hug. You used to suck at it.”
She adjusted her winter hat and turned her eyes to the river. “You’re right. I guess I’m just saying that … you’re important to me, and you’re a factor in other, bigger things happening around us.”
“You’re important too.” Oliver took her hand. “You’re my best friend.”
Dani turned to him and tried to swallow. “I am?”
Oliver nodded. “I never had a best friend until I met you.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Oliver giggled. “This is the part where you relax and live, Dani. Stop stressing so much over everything.”
“Okay. Don’t stress. I’m trying.”
“Here.” Oliver turned her gloved hand palm up and placed a stone in her hand. “You like to think when you’re occupied doing something else. Like when you tinker with cleaning or building stuff. So start throwing.”
Dani threw the stone, and Oliver passed her another one.
She threw that one and nodded. “Yes, this helps. You’re right. How did you get so smart?”
Oliver continued to pass her a steady supply of stones. “My parents, I guess.”
“I wish I could’ve met your mom. I mean, I did, but I don’t remember. I’d like to have that memory back.”
Dani tossed the stones Oliver gave her, and her mind and body relaxed. She wondered if that was what living was like: just being somewhere and not worrying about other things or about being someplace else.
Hattie had used that word to describe Jace before he died. Her brother had been so happy on his final day of life.
Dani had lost count of how many stones she’d thrown, but Oliver didn’t break her supply line. Since he seemed to have a lot of answers she didn’t, she asked him the most pressing question on her mind: “If someone is at peace—not like rest-in-peace dead, but alive and at peace—what does that mean?”
Oliver thought for a moment. “Are you happy right now?”
“Uh, yeah. I am.”
He put another stone in her hand. “Throw. Do you want to be here at the river chucking rocks?”
“Yes.” Dani threw her rock.
Oliver gave her another. “Mom said it was important to be content—happy with what you have, not worried about what you think you might lack, and happy to be where you are. I think that’s the same as peace.”
“Your mom was really smart.”
“She didn’t want me to always be afraid of the war and all the things that were happening. She said she couldn’t shelter me from the horrible things that happened, and she was right. Almost every kid in school has lost at least one parent. Some have lost both.”
“Too many people have died in this war.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.” Dani halted her rock throwing and faced him.
“When I turn seventeen, I’m required to join the CNA.” Tears formed in his eyes. “I don’t want to.”
Dani discarded her stone and pulled him close. “You won’t have to become part of the army, Oliver. I won’t let that happen.”
“The law—”
“Screw the law. Damn thing won’t matter anyway if the war is over, right?”
Dani knelt so she wasn’t looking down at him. “I don’t know, but sometimes having a deadline helps speed the process.”
Oliver frowned with confusion.
“We’ll find a way to end this shit before you’re seventeen. I don’t know how, but we’ll figure something out. Okay?”
Oliver nodded.
“Best friends don’t let each other get stressed out of their minds, right?”
He smiled, nodded, and wiped at his tears with the back of his mitten.
She hugged him again before standing. “Now, we have a competition to continue. You’re beating me, and that’s not allowed either.”
Oliver gathered more stones, and they continued to talk as they bounced rocks across the iced-over river.