A year later.
An Emergence party was traditional and expected, Emmie’s father explained over dinner a few weeks before her twentieth birthday. Just because it was traditional and expected, Emmie could feel her resistance kicking in.
Yuli commented on her distraction dryly. “Paulie would be able to pay more attention to this than you are right now. You like statistical analysis, Emmaline. What’s gnawing at you?”
She spent more time these days working alongside Yuli than she did with Greyson. Yuli was more directly involved in getting things done on the Bridge. In the last year or so, more and more of his work had shifted over to Emmie. Even though no one said anything, Yuli had been starting to miss things. Not large things and so far, nothing important. Yet Emmie found herself going over his work afterward, double-checking. She also volunteered to complete tasks whenever Yuli would give them to her.
So when he growled about her lack of attention, she knew she would not be able to pass it off easily because being distracted was not something she normally allowed for herself. She told him about the Emergence party and her reluctance to comply with everyone’s expectations.
“You never have liked being told what to do,” Yuli pointed out. “In two weeks’ time you’ll be able to tell everyone to go to hell and do exactly what you please, so take a deep breath and wait it out.”
“I don’t want a party, Yuli. It’s a stupid thing. Everyone knows me. Everyone knows how old I am and when my birthday is. I don’t need to trumpet to the entire ship I’m an adult now. They know it as well as I do.”
“The party isn’t for you, you silly child. You haven’t figured that out yet?” Yuli glared at her.
She wasn’t fooled by the ferocious expression or his condescension. He would rather die than admit he liked her. He thought he was fooling everyone when he growled at her in this way.
She stared at him, her brain working. “It’s for my parents….” she said slowly.
“They have cared for you and sacrificed many things to raise you to adulthood. You may be surprised to know they have come to care for you deeply in that time. Most children are surprised to discover their parents love them. I still don’t know why.”
“Why they’re surprised?”
“Why a parent could love any child. Most of them are insufferable,” he replied sharply. “Your parents and your entire community have supported your rearing and now they must symbolize their severance. It makes it easier for them if they celebrate it instead of getting upset about it. I, on the other hand, will become quite drunk and make a spectacle of myself because I will be the only one truly celebrating finally getting you off my hands.”
She grinned. “You know it isn’t going to happen straight away.”
“Celebrating its imminent arrival will be quite sufficient, thank you,” he replied and tapped the screen generator. “Now, if I can have your undivided attention, please…?”
So Emmie tried to help her parents and the vast team of neighbors and Esquilinos who wanted to help plan and arrange her Emergence party and learned Yuli was more correct than even he had realized. She was waved away and told to make herself a pretty dress for the evening, they had the arrangements well in hand. At first, she thought everyone was doing it for her. When she caught her father crying over her baby pictures as he selected them for the array that would play throughout the evening, she understood that everyone was working so damn hard on the arrangements because it was a form of catharsis.
She had kissed her father on top of his bald and shining head and left him alone to pick the pictures.
Claus Darrell offered the market square as a venue and it ended up being the only place large enough to contain everyone who was expected to attend. The lights were lowered, party lights strung, music played and refreshment tables were added throughout the square. Most of the stalls stayed open, too, happy to take advantage of the influx of people.
The dais in the corner of the square was where her parents completed the simple ceremony. While everyone watched, they both hugged her and her father handed her the oversized plastic circle that represented the chip in her wrist. At midnight, the native coding in the real chip in her wrist would be swapped out for basic adult functions and all the restrictions and safeguards of childhood stripped away.
Her mother openly wept and hugged her a second time and once more, Emmie was glad Yuli had baited her into agreeing to the party.
After the ceremony was over, the party really began. Yuli, as promised, was working hard on becoming completely sodden, which involved standing at the beverage table and scowling at everyone who came near. It wasn’t until she saw him talking to her father, their heads together, that she realized her parents were not the only ones who needed catharsis that night.
There were many people she had not seen for years who came to congratulate her and wish her well. Yosef Reuter, wearing the complicated clothing of a mechanical systems engineer, tried to kiss her. She turned her chin so his lips pressed against her cheek, instead.
Mithat Santis stood waiting on the other side of the square. She could see his big shoulders from where she stood at the foot of dais. He was half-a-head higher than anyone else and he was watching her with a smile on his face. He wouldn’t come over to her. Instead, he would wait there until she was ready to speak to him. Unlike many people in her life, Mithy was undemanding and easy to be with. He understood what it was like to be known by everyone. He never took it personally if she asked for time alone and space to breathe. In fact, sometimes he would stay with her just to fend people off.
But there were more people waiting to speak to her. They weren’t standing in line. They were glancing toward her to see if it was appropriate to approach.
That was when Greyson swept in. He really did seem to sweep, too. People tended to step aside when he moved among them, startled to find the captain so physically close to them. He was nearly as tall as Yuli, without any of Yuli’s insubstantial slenderness, which made him physically imposing. He took up space the same way Mithy Santis did, even though no one’s shoulders were as big as Mithy’s. Except, Greyson was wearing the formal Captain’s uniform, black with braid and gilt and symbols. It helped with the impression of grandeur.
Greyson came right up to her and smiled. “You can finally tell me to go to hell, if you want. How does it feel?”
“At the moment? Stifling,” she admitted. “I had no idea how many people on the ship I actually know, until tonight.”
He didn’t look around. “Need space?” he asked softly.
“Yes! My feet are hurting, too. And no nasty comments about my shoes, thank you. I happen to like them.”
“Even though they hurt your feet?” He shook his head and glanced around, then gripped her elbow gently. “Over here,” he said. “We can make it look as though it is official business and no one will bother you for a few moments.”
Thankfully, she settled on the bench next to him and turned to face him so others would be discouraged from interrupting them. “I’ll have to go back soon,” she warned him.
“And I have to get back to my office.” He grimaced. “Besides, I don’t want to get between you and Santis. I don’t want him angry with me for any reason.”
“Thank you for coming to the party,” she said. “I didn’t realize you were pulling away from business to do it.”
“Don’t be silly. Of course I wouldn’t miss your Emergence party.” He took a breath and let it out and she realized that much like Mithy and her, there were only certain people Greyson trusted enough to fully relax in their company and she was one of them. “So…you’re now officially an adult,” he said. “In the next few days we should talk about how it changes things.”
“Why does it have to change anything at all?” she asked.
“When I came of age, Captain Kermode made me her second in command, above even the Chief of Staff.”
“I couldn’t do that to Yuli,” Emmie said quickly.
Greyson studied her, his pale eyes steady. “You’re already doing most of his job, Emmaline. He knows that. So do I and everyone else on the Bridge. We’d only be formalizing what is already fact.”
Something invisible squeezed her chest and made her throat ache. Her eyes stung with tears. “Can’t we pretend he’s fine? Just for a while longer?”
Greyson’s gaze flickered away from her, then came back. “How is your father, these days?”
Then she really did begin to cry. It caught her by surprise and she sat with her hands in her lap, her shoulders shaking, as the large, dark cloud that had been hovering over the apartment for months finally descended. Her vision blurred. “My…my mother always said she would move back to the Capitol after I emerged, only now she won’t. She says she wants to stay with my father. And he’s so…g…grateful! I didn’t know how much he loved her….”
“Damn, I’m sorry, Emma,” Grey said gently. “I shouldn’t have asked tonight of all nights. Here. Shh, you’re ruining your makeup….” His hand settled on her arm and drew her closer. “Everyone is looking,” he whispered in warning. “They’re wondering if I’m being mean to you, I think.”
Emmie hid her face against his shoulder, her cheek rubbing against the coarse fabric of his uniform. His shoulder was firm under her head and his fingers settled in her hair, stroking softly. “He really is ill, then?” he asked softly. “I thought it might just be a reaction to you leaving.”
She could hear his voice echoing in his chest. It was a deep rumble that was startling…and very male.
“My father won’t consult with a medic,” she whispered. “No one knows for certain, only…just look at him, Grey! My mother knows. That’s why she won’t leave.”
Greyson took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh. “Yuli only has a few weeks left, Emmie. It’s not fair and on top of your father…. But it’s something you should know. We have to prepare.”
She closed her eyes, letting it sink in.
“Besides,” Greyson added, “it will be good for you to learn how to handle this sort of change-over now, so you’re ready for it, later.”
Horror made her sit up and look at him, her wet cheeks and her upset thrust aside by the black reminder. She covered her mouth to hold in her protest.
How long was it since she had consciously reminded herself that Greyson was mentoring her to be his replacement because his death had been predicted? Tonight marked her emergence. Now she was theoretically and legally capable of stepping into his role with minimal transition errors, how soon would his doom catch up with him?
Now she was an adult, his fate could arrive as soon as tomorrow.
“No…” she breathed.
Grey gave her a small smile. “I’m doing nothing but upset you. That’s what I was afraid of. That’s why I said I had to go back to the office. I wanted to avoid this tonight of all nights.”
“Grey, it’s just statistics! Averages! And they could be wrong. They could be wrong!”
“That’s what I have been telling myself for the last six years.” His smile faded.
Impulse made her reach for him. She gripped the fabric of the uniform and squeezed it in her fist. “Make me captain. Right now. Today. Tomorrow. If you voluntarily step down, then you can avoid it.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way. It’s not the office itself that is the statistical average. It’s me. The person.”
She squeezed harder. “There has to be something you can do!” Her voice shook.
“There is. I’ve been doing it for six years. I’ve trained the most gifted and skilled captain I can. When you take over, Emma, you’ll be one of the best captains this ship has ever seen. If the AI was right about you, then it’s probably right about me, too.”
Gently, he loosened her fingers and held her hand. “It might be years, yet,” he said calmly. “And until it happens, whatever it is, then I intend to continue to lead, to make sure you’re handed a well-founded ship and a city that can thrive under your guidance.”
“I still don’t want the job,” she whispered. Her throat was too tight to speak normally.
He smiled and this time there was warmth in his eyes. “I don’t particularly want you to have to take it, either. But you are absolutely the right person for the role, Emma. The last six years have taught me that, if nothing else.”
He had lovely eyes. She had noticed before. Now in the dim light, with her vision newly cleared by tears, it was as if she was seeing them for the first time. In combination with the sharp line of his jaw, it was an arresting combination. The direct way he had of looking at her and the inflexible jawline both spoke of a strength that had nothing to do with muscle power.
“They were right about you, too,” she replied.
He leaned a little closer. “Do me a favor? Will you tell Yuli that, constantly? Even after all this time he still thinks I’m wet behind the ears.”
But she barely heard him for the roaring in her ears and the thudding of her heart. His lean toward her had stolen her breath, evaporated it out of her lungs as though she had been exposed to vacuum. She couldn’t breathe in more air. Her lungs were locked.
For one shining beat of a moment she had thought he was going to kiss her. Never mind that they were two of the most well-known people on the ship, sitting in full sight of hundreds of witnesses. She forgot for the moment that Mithy kept speaking of finding an apartment together and might be one of the hundreds watching them right now. It all faded away as her heart stopped, her lungs seized and her thoughts suspended in a sea of possibility.
The idea of Grey kissing her did not seem ridiculous at all. It seemed…natural.
His eyes met hers and locked. She recognized the look in his eyes. The knowledge.
Emotion fizzed in her veins, then everything grew still and expectant once more.
She didn’t dare take the kiss that hovered there, that they had mutually and silently agreed upon. There was six years of opposition between them, too.
But she yearned for it in a way that Mithy’s kisses had never moved her.
Abruptly, Grey pushed himself to his feet, almost as if he was tearing himself away. He stood with his back to her, looking down at the ground.
Emmie remembered to breathe. She was trembling.
“I must go back to the office,” he said. His voice was lower than usual. “Enjoy your party, Emma.”
Emma. No one had ever shortened her name in that way. In the last few minutes, he had called her Emma at least twice.
“Thank you,” she made herself say politely.
He walked away, back through the party-goers, without looking back at her. She knew he didn’t look back, because she watched his broad back moving away from her until she couldn’t see him anymore.