Chapter 10
GoFundMe
On the day after Christmas, Nicole was at the mall window shopping. She wanted to buy everything she set her eyes on, but she knew she couldn’t, since Rashad told her that his funds were so tight.
She was admiring engagement rings in a jewelry store display when she received a phone call from the 346 area code.
“Hello?”
“Is this Nicole Greene?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“I saw you on television and was inspired by your thoughtfulness regarding those kids that were affected by that fire. I was thinking that you’d know a way to get in touch with them?”
“Yeah, I do.” Nicole hesitated. “What do you want with them and why do you want their info?”
“I’m sorry. My name is Geneva Jones. And I just want to reach out and help the kids. I have started a GoFundMe account; actually two of them. One for the kids so that people can donate money to help with funeral expenses for their mom. I read that they’re sending the body to Puerto Rico. I also want to make sure that their future is secure. Hopefully we can raise enough money to help send all four kids to college. Based on the news reports, I understand they didn’t have an active father in their lives.”
Nicole stopped walking and found a bench to sit on. “Um, yeah, that’s true. They have a few family members here but were raised by a single mom. She worked as a manager at a fast food restaurant.”
“Yeah, that’s so very sad. And, of course, Nicole, I learned from your interviews that you are having a baby next summer, and I just want to do something for you. So many negative things are going on in the world and your compassion for the kids really inspired me. So I set you up an account as well. You should look it up on GoFundMe. Many people have donated. This is for you and that bundle of joy that you’re carrying.”
“What did you say? Is that a joke?”
“No, no, it isn’t. It’s very real. So far the kids’ account has raised about twenty thousand and I plan to match whatever donations are received. That includes yours, too.”
“Twenty thousand?”
“Yes, isn’t that great?”
“But I don’t understand,” Nicole said. She almost hyperventilated. She wasn’t used to women being nice to her. She glanced at the number again that was lit up on her phone. She stared at the people near her bench and wondered if her enemies were toying with her.
“What’s your name again? Who are you with? And I hope you don’t ask me for my Social Security and driver’s license number because I’m not with that—”
“Nicole, it’s not a scam.” She laughed. “It’s real. I’m Geneva Gwen Jones. They call me GG Jones. And I’m kind of weird in that I do go around looking for people to help. There are so many needs in the Houston area; so many who are walking around with their heads down and who look like they have no hope. And when I saw you on TV forgetting about yourself and taking time for the kids, well, I just think the world needs more people like you; someone with a good heart who takes time out to care about others.”
“I didn’t do anything—”
“Oh, but you did. Many that were there stood around looking, then walked away, going on with their lives. But you didn’t.”
“I know, but you can’t say that the people are bad if they walked away—”
“Have you seen the headlines lately? The world is so cruel and people are so angry and ready to hurt one another. We need more real-life examples of positivity. Acts of kindness should be encouraged. Plus, it feels good to be nice,” Geneva said.
“I just happened to be there; I didn’t do it for money.”
“And that’s why I want to help: because you did it without expecting anything in return.”
Nicole sat in disbelief as the woman talked. By the time she got off the phone, Nicole couldn’t believe what had just happened. But after she checked the GoFundMe account online, she wanted to scream when she read the kind notes and viewed the donations that had poured in for her and the children. It didn’t really make sense to her, but it had been so long since something so thrilling happened to her, she decided to stay as calm as possible and thank God for her blessings.
She left the mall and drove home as fast as she could.
Once Nicole verified that GG Jones was legit, and the money would be hers, her head felt light and airy.
“Bad things have happened but hopefully better things will start to happen for me.” Nicole felt so elated that she began to make plans.
And on New Year’s Eve, she decided to announce her news to Rashad.
They got dressed up and went downtown to bring in the New Year. They walked into the joint hand-in-hand around ten o’clock that night. The music was popping and the drinks were flowing.
Nicole knew she couldn’t do her usual imbibing, but she was happy that the club offered non-alcoholic drinks. She took a tiny sip on her glass, set it aside, and let Rashad whisk her onto the dance floor as soon as the DJ started spinning a mid-tempo jam.
They began swaying to the music.
“Rashad, babe, sometimes I feel afraid. So happy yet so scared.”
“What? Why?”
“I have a feeling this New Year is going to be my year. The best I’ve ever had.”
“What makes you think that?”
“They say that what you’re doing on the last day of the year is what you’ll be doing for the rest of the year.”
Rashad grinned and nodded. “And you’re with me?”
“I’m dancing, babe. I’m dancing, I’m celebrating and I’m happy.”
They moved around the room some more. And when the clock struck twelve, they shared a long, juicy kiss.
Nicole stuffed her tongue so deep in Rashad’s mouth he almost stopped breathing. When he came up, he coughed and gasped.
“You trying to kill me, woman?”
“Kill you? With a kiss? That’s a new one.” She laughed. “I’m so glad we made it to the New Year because I have something to tell you.” She proceeded to let him know about the money people around the country had given to her. “It’s unbelievable how nice folks can be. I think I need to try that more often.” She giggled. “And the first thing I want to do, really two things, is get your mom a gift.”
“You don’t have to do that. She’s okay with those damned fruitcakes.”
“No, Rashad. I’m speaking of a wedding gift. When they go to the justice of the peace next month, we’ll go, too. And we’ll bless her with something amazing.”
“Wow! You are amazing, Nicky.”
“And, Rashad, the second thing I want to do is to buy myself a car soon. I’ve gone to a couple of dealerships and I’ll have more than enough for a down payment.”
“What? Why?”
“My Mustang is old and getting run down. The engine has problems. The body has dents in it. Our baby is due this summer and I want to drive around in style.”
“I told you no major purchases until after my divorce is final. Can you hold on a little bit longer? Please?”
“But this would be my money, not yours.”
“Kiara is already pissed at me for filing. If she sees you driving a new whip, it’ll only make things worse for the divorce. So can it wait?”
“Awww, Rashad.” Nicole felt heartbroken. It seemed everything she wanted wasn’t going to easily be hers.
“Look, Nicky, I know you want nice stuff you’ve never had before and I get that. But cars and diamonds and designer gear aren’t going anywhere. I’m going to get all that for you in time. So hold onto your little money. I will drive you to work if I can. And you don’t have to put any unnecessary mileage on your ride. Is that cool?”
“I guess it’ll have to be.”
Nicole gave in, but deep inside she resented Kiara. She still considered her the woman who got in the way of everything she wanted.
Nicole excused herself to go to the ladies’ room. She actually felt sick and ended up kneeling over the toilet and puking. It took her a while to get herself together. When she came back out to the dance floor, she noticed a woman smiling up in Rashad’s face. She was a pretty young thing who wore very long burgundy Afrocentric braids. Her lipstick matched her hair color. And she was dressed in a bohemian style that made her stand out.
Nicole walked up to them.
“What’s up? What y’all talking about?”
“Happy New fucking Year,” the girl said, obviously slightly tipsy. She was a pretty girl who resembled Keyshia Cole. Nicole didn’t see any other women hanging with the chick.
“Rashad, what’s going on? Who is she?”
“I don’t know who she is. She just started chitchatting with me when you walked up.”
“Well, that conversation is now over.” Nicole grabbed Rashad by the arm far away from the young woman. She told him she wasn’t feeling well and convinced him to take her home.
* * *
On New Year’s Day, Nicole decided to brush up on her mothering skills. She dialed Myles’s cell number. To her surprise, he answered.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Myles. How are you? Do you know who this is?”
“Ms. Nicole?”
“Yeah. Wow, you recognize my voice.” She laughed. “I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”
“You are in my address book. My mommy put you in there and I see your name.”
“Oh, really? What name do you see?”
“N-I-C-K-E-L.”
“Oh, okay, I can tell she doesn’t know how to spell,” she said, sounding agitated. “Anyway, I called you to invite you over to our place. You can stay all night. It’ll be fun. Like a sleepover.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m supposed to go over to Mr. Osborne’s house. He has some new railroad cars and tracks and we are going to play with them all day.”
His words stung. “I don’t think your dad will be happy about that, Myles. Your father really wanted to see you. And I did, too. Are you sure you can’t make it? I’ve made your favorite cake and everything.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes. With chocolate icing.”
“Wow.”
“Plus, we got you a new toy. I’ll give you one hint. It flies,” Nicole said and crossed her fingers behind her back.
“Okay, I’ll come over there.”
“You will?”
“Yeah, come get me. Right now.”
Nicole told him to get a bag packed. She’d pick him up right away.
On her way over there, she felt so proud of herself. She knew she had the power of persuasion with older men, and now she had skills for young boys, too. First she stopped by the nearest Target and bought the boy an eighty-dollar radio-controlled quad copter.
“He sure better appreciate what I do for him,” Nicole said as she stood in the checkout line.
Then, once she was back in her vehicle and driving, she dialed Kiara’s number several minutes before she arrived in Fresno.
“Hello?”
“Kiara, hey, um, it’s Nicole.”
“What do you want?”
“First of all, I want to wish you a happy New Year. And secondly, I again want to apologize for how I behaved that day in the parking lot. I’m pregnant and my emotions are all over the place. I’m sure I said things that were offensive.”
“Yes. They were offensive. And your apologies mean nothing to me.”
“I didn’t think they would and I want to change that. In fact, I’ll have to. Because, like it or not, Kiara, we are going to be part of each other’s lives forever.”
Kiara said nothing.
“Um, which leads me to the main reason that I called,” Nicole continued. “I know this is a short notice, but Myles wants to spend time with his daddy tonight if that’s okay with you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. So, be a sweet woman and let him do that. I’m on my way over there now. He’s packed his bag and everything. I know that he’s looking for me to arrive any minute now.”
“Nicole, you’ve seemed to forget something. You may run things over there, but you aren’t in charge of anything in Fresno. There’s a proper way to do things and this just isn’t happening.”
“Kiara, this has nothing to do with being in charge. A man wants to spend time with his kid. This is another major holiday and you didn’t make that baby by yourself.”
“So are you an expert on baby making these days?”
“Is this your way of saying no? Kiara, how can you be so cruel? So selfish?”
Nicole pulled up in the driveway of the house where Kiara lived. The home was breathtaking just like she’d remembered it. Manicured lawns. Potted plants on the porch. As she got out of the car, she fought the urge to find a brick and smash up all of the windows. Instead, she composed herself and calmly rang the doorbell.
“Kiara, I’m actually outside right now,” she told her. “Please let me in so we may talk.”
When the door opened, Myles flew through it and ran outside. His mother ambled along right behind him.
“Hi, Ms. Nicole, I’m ready to have fun.”
“No, this isn’t how we do things.” Kiara continued to protest as she scrambled after Myles. He had gotten into the front passenger seat of Nicole’s car. She turned to Nicole. “You already know what happens when people show up at other people’s houses without an invitation. You’d better be glad I don’t have a—”
“Mommy, I’m ready to go.”
“Get out of that car right now, Myles. I didn’t give you permission to leave.”
“I want to see my daddy. I miss my daddy.”
Nicole walked up to Kiara, hoping she could convince her to do the right thing. “Do you understand what you’re doing? You are traumatizing this child when all he wants to do is be with his dad. You haven’t let Myles be with his father for the past three holidays. And this would make the fourth.” Nicole was almost shouting. Myles sat in the car with tears streaming from his eyes.
“It seems that you hate the father enough to hurt him, and that’s one thing. But do you really want to hurt Myles, too?” Nicole asked. “How can a woman that calls herself a mother do things to hurt a child? He’s never going to forget this, Kiara. Never!”
“My God! Okay, you win. I’ll let him go. This time.” Kiara barely said bye to her son before she returned inside the house.
* * *
Kiara rocked back and forth as Eddison held her.
He kissed her every few seconds.
“Go ahead, my love. Get it all out.”
She blubbered away in his arms, wetting up his shirt as they sat together that evening on his sofa.
“She plays dirty, Eddy,” Kiara sobbed. “She uses people and says crazy things to get what she wants. A master manipulator.”
“It’ll be all right. In fact, look at it this way. Myles gets to spend time with Rashad and I have you all to myself.”
She nodded but felt miserable.
“Wait one second, dear.”
Eddison excused himself. When he returned five minutes later he was holding a coffee mug. The sweet aroma of black English tea, lemon, and honey steamed from the cup.
“Give it a few minutes and I want you to sip on this. It’ll make you feel better.”
She smiled, nodded. “You make me feel better. Every single time.”
“Get used to it.”
“I want it. I need it, Eddison.”
“And you’re going to have it.”
She was holding a tissue in her hands and dabbed at her eyes.
“I feel so foolish.”
“You’re not foolish, Kiara. You are human. God gave you tear ducts for a reason.”
“Sure, but I doubt he wants me to use them every single damned time.”
“You’re entitled.” Eddison chuckled. “For some strange reason you keep forgetting you’re fat. I mean you’re pregnant.”
She burst out laughing and balled her fist. “Oh, God. What would I do without you?”
He said nothing. When the tea finished steeping, he picked up the cup and pressed it against Kiara’s lips. She drank, taking tiny delicious sips. She placed her head against his shoulder and within ten minutes she fell asleep.
Snoring, at peace, and with Eddison protectively by her side.
* * *
Even though the New Year started out promising, Rashad’s world had gotten so complicated. Three weeks into January, Kiara’s attorney filed some motions that required Rashad to have to meet with Lily Tangaro, pay her more money, plus it caused him to be away from his job due to legal battles. To make matters worse, Nicole became grouchier whenever she got sick from her pregnancy. He tried to be supportive but at times he felt the pressure.
By the beginning of February, the only woman he felt he could be around that halfway understood him was Alexis. He hated how things had gone down the last time she popped up at their house; he wanted to make sure that she was all right. He wanted a face-to-face. So he took a chance and drove to her spot.
He got out of the car and went to stand outside Alexis’s front door. His underarms were damp. He mopped his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. He rang the doorbell and knocked. He felt excited to get to see Alexis, his original baby mama.
When the door opened, the smile that was on his face vanished.
“What do you want?”
“Hello, ma’am,” he said to Mona Hooker, Alexis’s mother. “I’m here to see Skillet.”
“Skillet?” Mona Hooker frowned. “Is that what you call my daughter or my granddaughter?”
“Oops, my bad. I’m here to see your daughter so she can let me see my daughter. Are they here?”
“You, young man, will learn how to respect my household or you won’t set one foot inside this house. Wait out here.”
Mona slammed the door in his face and left him alone. Ten whole minutes passed and he began to pound on the door with his fist.
Seconds later, the door swung open.
Alexis emerged. “Have you lost your mind? Don’t make my mama pull out her rifle.”
“Oh, it’s hunting season for Rashad now. All I want to do is hang out with Hayley and I wanted to talk to you, too. Why is everybody treating me like I’m some damned criminal?”
Alexis’s voice softened. She studied him. He looked a hot mess, like he hadn’t shaved. “Sorry about that, Rashad. I feel for you and what Kiara is putting you through.”
“Does this mean you’re on my side now instead of my ex’s?”
“Y’all divorced?”
“Not yet.”
“But you may as well be, huh?”
“She treats me like I work for ISIS or something. It’s starting to piss me off.”
Alexis smiled. “I just think your ego is a little bruised. You’re used to women throwing themselves at you like you’re Michael B. Jordan. But now you’re getting treated like you’re Columbus Short.”
“Wow! That ain’t funny. Stop laughing at me.”
“Okay, my bad. Um, give me a sec. I’ll go get Little Bit, then we can go somewhere.”
“I appreciate that.”
Alexis smelled good and looked even better. She always knew how to apply just the right amount of makeup. Less was more. Her hair was swept up in a ponytail. She looked five years younger. To him it never seemed like she had any drama in her life, which amazed Rashad. It made him think she had a lot of strength. And that’s the type of woman he needed in his life.
Alexis got Hayley quickly dressed in some knit leggings, a cotton-polyester long-sleeved top, and a cute purple hoodie jacket. Rashad insisted that they drive in his vehicle. Instead of arguing, Alexis said okay. While he jabbered away, she discreetly texted Kiara to let her know that Rashad was hanging out with Hayley, and she had agreed to join them. They wouldn’t be with each other long.
“Where are we going?” Alexis asked Rashad.
“You got some place to be?”
“I want to be available in case Varnell calls.”
“Okay, no problem. We’ll just ride around. I just want to be near my daughter.”
Rashad drove until they ended up downtown. He turned on Bagby Street. He parked in a big lot.
“What are we doing?” Alexis protested.
“We are here. We are going to have fun. We are going to think about Hayley for a change.”
“Rashad! I feel like I’ve been kidnapped.”
He coaxed Alexis out of the car and laughed as he followed behind her. They were at the ticket window for Downtown Aquarium, a six-acre entertainment and dining complex.
“This is nice,” Alexis said, “but it’s wack at the same time. I’m not prepared.”
“I’m disappointed in you. Back in the day, you would’ve been game to do something spontaneous like this.”
“Things have changed.”
Rashad allowed Alexis to bitch and moan. He didn’t mind. He loved it. He felt happy to spend some time with her and his daughter.
Alexis quieted down once she learned that they’d be seeing some big-ass sharks while they rode a train.
“I’ve never seen a shark up close,” she said. “Except for you.”
“Good one, Skillet.”
“Why you keep calling me that?”
“You don’t want to know why.”
Soon they boarded their wooden bench seats. Rashad sat on the left, Alexis on the right, and Hayley squeezed in the middle. A bell began clanging.
“All aboard,” said the loud audio recording that described the tour. And they were off.
“Choo choo train,” Hayley happily declared.
They passed by tiny ponds and loads of green, exotic looking plants and shrubbery. As soon as they entered the tunnel they were shrouded in darkness. The lit-up two-hundred-thousand-gallon aquarium was filled with all kinds of fish that swam over their heads and in two tanks on either side of the train. Hayley squirmed in her seat and excitedly pointed at the fish.
Alexis shivered in awe. She felt like she was sitting in the middle of the ocean. The light shone on her face. Rashad knew she loved the adventure. While she whispered to their daughter and described the big fish, Rashad discreetly placed his arm around the back of her seat. Then he squeezed Alexis’s shoulder.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
He smiled innocently, then ignored her.
They watched as Pacific white sharks, swordfish, sand tiger sharks swam through the blue water.
Before she knew it, Rashad grabbed her hand. She let him hold it for a second. Then she snatched it back. “Rashad, what the hell?”
“What?
“You’re trying to be slick.”
“I thought you were Hayley.”
“No, the hell you did not.”
“Skillet, c’mon, now cut me some slack.”
* * *
Alexis felt the weight of her reality bear down on her. Some women sought the attention of a man, but the wrong type of attention from the wrong man just felt . . . wrong.
“I wish I were invisible,” she said to her friend Regina. They met at a Mexican restaurant where they were enjoying chicken enchiladas and drinks.
“Why would you wish to be invisible?”
“My ex keeps hounding me. Pressuring me.”
“Just tell him to fuck off.”
“I have. But he’s like these big-ass Texas cockroaches. You can spray and watch ’em as they lay on the floor dying. But you know they’re going to come back again one day.”
“Well, damn. If my man did that, it would make me think that he loves me.”
A few months ago, Regina had gotten rid of one married man, just to meet another dude who seemed promising at first, but she was starting to have doubts.
“He hasn’t called, has he?” Alexis asked.
“Nah. And it pisses me off,” Regina said. “He can call me when he wants to beat up this pussy, but when my car breaks down, or when it’s a three-day holiday weekend, I can’t get him to pick up his phone. It sounds like he’s married, too.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“Why do I keep putting up with this?”
“You’re dumb—”
“I’m dumb?”
“Yes, women who put up with things they don’t like, clearly disrespectful things, are super stupid. And they lack self-esteem.”
“But I got self-esteem,” Regina protested. “I know I look hot!”
“If that were true, you could leave your man behind and concentrate on giving your hot self to someone that really deserves it, am I right?”
“I, um, well.”
“Girl, I was proud of you when you eliminated that other man. You had the strength to do what I couldn’t even do back then. But I eventually got rid of no-good Rashad. And now?”
Alexis rose to her feet and twirled around in a circle. She stopped and hugged herself.
“I am free. I’m so empowered. I got me a real man. And I never would have had him if I had held onto Rashad and continued letting him do me wrong. I only deal with him because of Hayley. But I might have to get Varnell to have a little talk with him. In fact, I think I will.”
That night, after Alexis arrived home from the meeting with Regina, she called Varnell. He came right over to her house. They put Hayley in the backseat of his Chevy pickup and drove until they reached Nicole’s house. On the way there, Alexis called Rashad and let him know she was stopping by.
“Let that female Shrek know. Tell her right now.”
Alexis didn’t want any increased bad blood between herself and Nicole.
When they reached the house, Alexis emerged from the car. Varnell followed her with Hayley in tow.
She rang the doorbell and took a deep breath.
Rashad opened the door. He smiled when he saw her. But when she stepped aside and he took one look at Varnell, he came out onto the walkway.
“Why is he holding her?” Rashad demanded.
“Why not? He’s with me.”
“I don’t need another man to hold my daughter.”
“Grow up, Rashad. He’s not a threat to you. He’s my man and he’s helping me out because I asked him to.”
Rashad clenched his fists.
Varnell didn’t flinch.
Rashad jumped at him like he was about to punch Varnell, but the man stood perfectly still. Rashad reached out for Hayley. But she resisted her father and covered her face with her hands as she leaned against Varnell.
“What the fuck? Are you trying to turn my own daughter against me?”
“Rashad, what I’m trying to do is get you to leave me the fuck alone.”
Alexis winced. She hated to curse in front of a toddler.
“I’m not too good with these things. Varnell, can you handle this, please?”
“Sure can.” Varnell placed Hayley in Rashad’s arms. He turned her face into her daddy’s shoulder so she couldn’t see. And Varnell pointed his finger at Rashad.
“Hey man. Let Alexis go. Do what you gotta do as this child’s father but anything outside of that is stepping into my territory. You get what I’m saying?”
Rashad looked like he wanted to explode. But he couldn’t. Not then.
He nodded and shot Alexis a hateful, hurt look.
When Alexis felt the message had sunk in, she gently removed Hayley from Rashad’s arms.
They quietly got back in the pick-up and went on about their way.
And after Varnell made sure that she and Hayley were safely at her house, he told her he’d call her later. She said okay and gave him a kiss. She stood on the front porch after he left and she placed a call to Regina.
“This love thing is complicated sometimes, but slowly but surely I am finally figuring it out,” Alexis told her.
“Tell me, please, because I can use all the help I can get.”
“The day you discover your true self-worth is the day you can walk away from anyone who isn’t good for you. You can set him free and not give a damn. You won’t use the excuse that you ‘love’ him anymore. When you can walk away, that’s when you will realize who you really love.”
“Who?”
“Yourself, girlfriend. Love yourself.”
* * *
A few days later, Alexis was at the home she shared with her mother. The one-and-a-half-story bungalow had always been big enough for two people, but lately the place seemed cramped. Alexis was sick of her mother always getting on her about her life, how to raise the baby, and more.
It was late at night. Alexis quietly gathered some clothing items, Hayley’s outfit, and jammed her tote bag with her umbrella, a self-help magazine, a water bottle, and her pouch that was filled with cosmetics.
She strapped her sleepy daughter in the car, buckled her own seat belt, and wildly drove away from her house in her two-seater Benz. Where she was going? She didn’t know. But she was desperate to get away.
“I need to sell this shit. Use the money to make a down payment on my own damned house.”
She and her mother were butting heads again. And she dreaded the moment she would walk into the house. She knew the fighting would start again. As she blindly drove through the streets of Houston, she couldn’t erase the scene that just happened when she tried to get her mom to babysit Hayley:
“Hey, daughter,” Mona had told her when she’d snuck and placed her daughter in her mother’s bed and told her she’d be back later. “This is the third time this week you had a sudden emergency and dumped your child on me with little warning. I love my little Hayley, but I am not about to raise another kid. I don’t have the strength. I feel bad when I’m lying around and she comes in here asking me to play hide and go seek with her.”
“I’m sorry, Mama. I really am. But I am not responsible for all the unplanned things that can happen that require me to leave the house for a little while.”
“You were already gone for a couple hours last night. I hope you weren’t away getting a quickie.”
“Mama, don’t be ridiculous. I haven’t even done anything like that with Varnell. And I told you me and Rashad don’t do that anymore, either.”
“Well, isn’t that breaking news? Heartbroken woman gets a reality check and finally dumps her horny married man. Hell, I lived that life. I know that life.” She paused for emphasis. “I must warn you, darling. Rashad will be back in your bed. They always come back. Especially if you got that good-good.”
“Ugh, Mama, I refuse to discuss this topic with you. This makes me very uncomfortable.”
“Why is that? Isn’t this the very thing you talk about with your girlfriends? Oops, sorry. You don’t have any friends.”
Alexis could only give her mom a horrified stare.
“I’ll bet every woman you know has to watch her man around you. You’re too damned beautiful. Your body is still in good shape and you were careful not to let yourself go. And anytime a beautiful single woman comes around a couple, that wife will grab her man’s hand, pull him closer, not let him out of her sight. Because my beautiful daughter, you are temptation. Y’all may not be doing it now. But that married man will be back. Creeping up my stairs, escaping behind your bedroom door, and getting you to undress. I know one thing, you better use a condom. I don’t care how much he begs.”
“Mama,” she finally screamed. “You are not describing me. You don’t even know me. I am not that woman anymore. I’ve never really been that woman.”
“What makes you so different now, Alexis?”
“I’m not you, that’s what.”
“Who the hell you think you’re talking to, little girl?” Mona screamed at Alexis.
Her mother’s voice droned on and on as Alexis quietly made her escape up those eighteen stairs into her second-floor hideaway. That’s when she began to pack some things and when she decided to take her daughter with her instead of leaving her with Mona. And Alexis began to realize that yes, even though she felt like a snake for taking Carmen Foster’s advice, she was glad that she had finally filed for child support a few days ago. As an administrative assistant, her salary was decent, but she needed more funds if she wanted to adequately take care of herself and Hayley. She’d racked up lots of credit card debt in the past year, plus she had to maintain two vehicles. Things were tight. Perhaps once the child support checks started being deposited into her account she could earn enough money to get her own place.
Because each time Alexis had a showdown with her mother, she felt like she just went through airport security and was forced to comply with a full-body scan by the TSA.
She felt completely naked and brutally judged.
And that’s when Alexis McNeil wished she were invisible. She wished that her mother, Rashad, and that no one else could see her, search for her, or bother her about anything. It would feel like she didn’t exist anymore. But was it possible to be nonexistent in a bar code, over-tracking world that constantly photographed every freeway, gas station, store, bank, and parking lot? What would a world be like that would give Alexis complete freedom so she could totally breathe?
Alexis continued to drive without a specific destination. It was ridiculously late and Hayley was beginning to fuss. Feeling sheepish, Alexis called Varnell’s number. She said hello and explained the situation. She asked if she and Hayley could come over right then and maybe stay over. He said yes. Alexis and Varnell may not have been having sex, but they’d be sleeping under the same roof for the first time—at least for that one night.