Author’s Note

This story deals with some very tough themes, about types of abuse that happen every day in America. I worry that too much popular media shows both abusers and survivors as easily dismissed caricatures, not as people with complicated motivations and a few unhealthy habits that don’t always serve them, just like the rest of us. To be clear, I don’t think anything ever excuses or justifies abuse, but I also think portraying abusers as cartoon villains of unrelenting evil makes it difficult for observers to grasp why it’s so difficult for survivors to leave those relationships. I tried, with the research methods at my disposal and my own observed experiences, to make this a more accurate picture of what some people have endured. However, no one story can encapsulate all the different ways abuse can be experienced, or all the different reactions people have to it, and I don’t pretend this could ever be universal.

If you’re reading this as a survivor, I know what you went through was entirely unique to you and no story could quite capture it the way it happened. Still, I hope that you found strength and validation in these pages, and I pray that nothing I’ve written causes you any additional hurt.

If you’re reading this and any part of Mari’s old abusive relationship is sounding too familiar to you, you can call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). No matter how hopeless or impossible or just plain complicated your situation is, there is help available for exactly that and to get you safe. You don’t have to face this alone.