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— Where are you going, again? — my mom asked when I hung up the phone.
— We’re going to the club — I said.
— I’m gonna work — Márcio affirmed.
— Are you going to the gay club again, Carlos?
— Yes, Flávia’s gonna be there tonight and I’m doing it today. She can dump me if she wants to, but I’ll tell her everything I feel about her.
— My God, the world’s really spinning backwards, now. A straight guy needs to go to a gay club to be with a woman. Where is this world stopping at?
— But I met several straight couples that go there to enjoy the music and have fun. If you’re really in the mood for a dance, Dark is the best place in Recife — Márcio mentioned.
— I’ll never get it. Let me go to the kitchen do my thing.
— Yep, the world’s changing, mom.
The rest of the day went by very fast, and the closer the time was, more anxious I got. I thought that I could already control that, but Flávia moved my feelings in an inexplicable way. What I heard and saw at the party at the beach house made me lose my hopes of having anything with her. But, in that moment, I din’t want to share it with Márcio. Even if I needed a thousand beers to talk to her, I’d do it today.
— Almost ready — I said, finishing putting a red t-shirt on, along with jeans and sneakers.
— I’m ready! — Márcio affirmed with a black t-shirt glued to his body, jeans and sneakers, but with a small backpack on his back with his Gogo boy accessories.
— Boy, how did you get so strong so fast? — I asked.
— I took some pills.
— Really?
— Yes, but only in the first week. I had to get people’s attention.
— With that ridiculous dance, you really do — I said, smiling. — How is it that you do? — I asked, imitating his dance.
— You know, I think you’ve got the swing. Since you want a job so much, you could try to get one there.
— I don’t have the type of body for that.
We started laughing. When the clock hit 8 o’clock, we decided to leave and catch the bus. We went with my mom, because she’s a nurse and has to be on call every other night.
— Be careful when going back home. You guys know how things are dangerous at night with those murders — she said, leaving the bus.
— We know, we’ll be careful — I affirmed.
When she left, Márcio asked:
— Did she just say it in the plural?
— I guess so. It looks like Luíza is starting to soften her heart in relation to you.
At 9 o’clock, we were at the club line. The girls took half an hour to get there, but it was already expected. Women!
— At last, we’re here. My dad brought us, he thought it was safer, and he’s also coming to pick us up, so the ride’s guaranteed.
We hugged and kissed each other.
Lúcia was wearing white flowered pants, black blouse and had dryed her hair. Flávia had a chequered dress in several tonalities of blue and a red belt on, and her hair was down in a kinda messy style. My heart, in that moment, was beating much faster and I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
— Well, since you’re all with the good life and I gotta go to work, I’m going to enter by the other door. But I think I can get you in there with me.
— It would be awesome, hottie! I’ll start already saving for the drinks — Lúcia told us.
Márcio got us in. There was no one there, because the club was still closed.
— I’m gonna change and go to my spot.
— You’re not presenting today? — Flávia asked.
— No, today it is another dude.
— But are we seeing you later? — she asked.
— Of course!
— I’m gonna pass by the birdcages to watch you dance, I’m not at all gonna miss this body only in underware — Lúcia said, leaving Márcio a bit red.
— This Lúcia... I don’t know, huh... I asked to know if he’s gonna stay with us a bit, girl — Flávia explained.
— Yes. I asked to end it earlier so I could be a bit with you guys — he informed.
Márcio went changing, and shortly, the club was on fire and crowded. We started drinking, and as usual, there was a Drag Queen show. Next, the Gogo boys appeared at the birdcages on the first floor.
— I want to see Márcio — Flávia affirmed.
— Oh, girl, me too. Shall we, Carlos? — Lúcia asked.
— No, I’ve seen plenty the other time, and it is really not “me” to watch Márcio doing that ridiculous dance in trunks.
— Okay, we’re gonna pass by very quickly and be right back. You’re staying here, right? — Flávia said.
— Yes, I’m only gonna buy a drink and will be back quick.
They went upstairs and I went to the bar, so I bought one more beer. I stayed thinking for a moment about how we can’t control our feelings. I knew that my best friend was gay, but, still, I was jealous about him and Flávia. I was jealous of how he got her attention so easily, and I didn’t.
I was interrupted by a man who was, apparently, thirty-five years old, with beard and wearing a shirt, pants and social shoes, as if he had gotten out of his job and went straight there. He got near me and said:
— Hi!
— Hi — I answered.
— What’s your name?
— Carlos.
— Mine is Fabrício! — he said, raising his hand to me.
I shook his hand, but he didn’t drop mine, stayed holding it.
— I saw you with a few girls and thought you were very interesting.
I tried to loose my hand from his again, but he tightened it even more.
— Please, can you let my hand go? I’m not gay.
— Oh, you’re not? — he asked, still not letting me go.
— No! — I said, pulling it with more strenght, letting my hand go from his.
I turned my back on him and went closer to the stage. Shortly after, I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned around. It was the same guy, he said:
— Oh, if you’re not gay, then what are you doing here?
— I came with a few friends. Now, leave me alone.
— I’m sure you’re gay, dude.
— Hey, what’s going on here? — Flávia asked.
— This guy’s wary that I’m gay and won’t leave me alone.
She started laughing and said:
— He’s not gay at all. I’m his girlfriend — she finished saying it, hugged me and gave me a kiss.
When we finished kissing, the guy said:
— Then I’m gonna show you what he really is
He came to hug me and tried to kiss me. I didn’t think twice and punched his face.
A circle opened up around us and he fell, but, shortly after, he stood up and went towards me. Flávia started screaming.
— Help, please!
Two security guards rapidly came, one held me, letting the guy enjoy it and punch my stomach, which left me breathless for a while. But, promptly, the other security guard held him by his back.
— YOU’RE A FAGGOT WHO LIVES IN THE CLOSET! — the guy yelled.
The song stopped in that exact moment. Everybody was looking at us, when we heard a tap on the microphone. It was Nazaré, who was on the top of the stairs, wearing a shiny dress, earrings and a black (very) high heel, and she started speaking:
— It’s funny, we fight so much for our rights, for the right to build a family, for the right to have our families’ love, mostly, for the respect to our sexual condition, but, when I come across scenes like these, I see that we haven’t made much progress. — She started coming down the stairs and continued speaking: — If we want respect, then we have to give it. You don’t have to be very smart to know that. But many of us seem to think only with their lower head and don’t see that this only harms our cause for the respect that we look for so much. — She approached the guy, pointed her finger at the middle of his face, with her huge black nail, and continued: — Do you know what is the biggest mistake a homosexual can make? — The guy just watched her. — It’s to think that everybody is gay or that everybody likes hanging with another man. Pay much attention to that. We’ve got to respect straights, gays, lesbians, bis, whatever they are. It is such a simple thing, but so hard to be understood or done by most of the people.
Everybody started applauding her.
— I saw it all from up there, and I saw when Carlos left and approached the stage. For the little I know about him, I know he’s a decent guy. But, in relation to you, I’m ashamed to say that you’re a part of our community, because, for what I saw, you mustn’t even know how to respect your mother. Being straight or not, being in the closet or not, it is your duty to respect. Asshole! That’s what you are. Don’t you think you’re gonna scratch around here, in my house.
— But... — the guy tried to argue.
— Shut up! In here, I speak, I’m this cabaret’s owner, and you’re leaving now. I don’t want to hear an “a” from you or see you around here anymore. Go look for somewhere else to do your clownery, you piece of shit. You can leave the young boy in the club, but I want you to throw this asshole very far away. I don’t want to see his face, not even if it’s painted in gold, remember him, are we understood? Now, go look for a male in the chats — she concluded, looking right into his eyes.
The security guards took him away and the crowd started hissing him. Nazaré started smiling and said:
— Hit it, DJ, and let’s dance, fags!
She approached me and said:
— I’m sorry, darling.
— Let it go. In every place there’s a rotten person. I know that Márcio would never do that.
— I know — she answered.
Posted by Carlos at 5:39 pm.