Chapter 6

The Art of Play

Low words followed by high laughter: It must be something really funny!

Anonymous senryu (Edo-period satirical verse)¹

The two young geisha, arms full of pompoms made of fresh chrysanthemums, winked at each other as they began their game of tossing a shower of blooms at each other. They knew they were being watched! The many-colored chrysanthemum balls flew through the air, long ribbons streaming like white and red meteors; their bittersweet perfume mingled with incense burning in the alcove, filling the room.² When the gentleman made his presence known, the taller girl giggled, then tossed a ball of flowers and hit him on the back. This was playtime, geisha style.

When a geisha playfully threw a light object at a man—a ball of paper, a match, etc., this was a coquettish gesture indicating she was interested in him.³ She could also expect to be on the receiving end of flamboyantly playful games from her admirers. The famed O-Koi once found herself at an evening’s entertainment with several distinguished businessmen dressed up like students in navy-blue outfits, drinking from casks of sake. The men ran after her all night, breaking furniture and trying to get her out of her kimono.⁴ Such games were commonplace in the life of a geisha.

Play is any activity you do because it feels good. Sexy and provocative, it is an important element in your art of seduction. You can be funny, flirtatious, flattering, and funky in a physical manner. Play loosens inhibitions. Don’t underestimate its power to increase the depth of your relationship. All play is sexy. Not all play has to end in intercourse. That is what makes it “play.” Knowing this takes the pressure off both of you. You and your lover deserve time for it.

Humor Tips

• Geisha were wonderful at making their guests laugh. Don’t forget to laugh, especially at yourself. Look for the humor in the things around you. Let your hair down more often. Do something silly and spontaneous.
• Humor can be found in almost any situation. It is individual, as well as mutual. Sometimes you will see the humor in something; other times, both of you will share a humorous moment.
• Humor diffuses an awkward situation: on a first date, or when your bra strap breaks or that “sale” tag is hanging out of the back of your dress (giving you an excuse to invite him to tuck the tag inside and run his fingers over your bare skin). You can’t always choose what is going to happen, but you can control how you react to it.
• Remember: Many times, you can’t laugh at something when it is happening; but in the end, it can be your best “date from hell” story. And, stories are to share. . . .
• Letting go of stress may be as easy as laughing.

Fans

In the late nineteenth century, a popular geisha in the Tokyo Shinbashi district carried a fan that opened wide to display an ink-drawn picture depicting a famous Japanese tale—Rashomon and the dragon. To entertain her customer, the geisha flipped the fan partly closed. As she did so, the drawings transformed themselves into anatomically correct images of the male and female genitalia. Folding the fan again, she completed the act of making love.^a

The Empress Jingo Kogo invented the folding fan, called ogi in the third century. Uchiwa are flat fans with handles. Every Heian lady, geisha, and courtesan carried one or the other. When a geisha danced, she carried a maiogi, a fan with bamboo spines about twelve inches long. There were many other kinds, for both men and women.

A fan was not merely a dainty feminine trifle; it was the flirt’s secret weapon. She held hers differently from a man, using body language to make it sexually titillating. Sliding her legs to the side, she would arch her neck slightly, and hold it with her thumb on the inside, moving her hand and wrist languorously. Resting the fan on her left cheek meant she was not interested. On the right, it meant “come hither.” Drawn across her eyes meant “I am sorry.” Drawn across her cheek meant “I love you.” Putting the handle to her lips was an invitation to kiss—where things went from there, no fan was needed.^b Even today, fans are the regulation gift upon every occasion. At feasts each guest receives a plain white ogi, upon which to write poems and sign autographs. You can entertain your lover by writing naughty poems on his fan. Later, when you are alone, it is a wonderful way of remembering the heat between the two of you, although it is doubtful this little summer fan will cool you off.

FLIRTING

At dusk, a courtesan would arrive at an ageya, trysting house, and enter with a rustling of silk and a fluttering of tamoto, the long, wing-like sleeves of her kimono. Smiling with a delicate nod to her waiting guest, she would go to sit beside him, taking his hand as she talked to him, admiring his clothing, his fan, her deft touch intimate yet restrained. She would closely watch the little porcelain sake cups, never allowing them to be empty or remain full. Each movement was flirtatious and carefully calculated to put the guest in a good mood and make him feel as if he was on the brink of paradise. Even the most insensitive of men could not resist this display of coquettishness. You can put your man in a paradise-like state if you follow these simple flirting techniques.

Flirting Tips

• The famous O-Koi knew how to captivate her guests: She left at ten o’clock, an early hour for a geisha party, so she would always be missed. Shoo him out of your place before he is ready to go. Don’t worry. He’ll be back.
• Don’t be shy about flirting with your date. The courtesan was an expert. She would titillate by pretending to be reluctant, showing affection without undoing her obi, or lying down without displaying any eagerness. Men love the attention and the sense of challenge. He’ll be running after you long after the date is over.
• Playing the innocent virgin can be a turn-on to some men. Try it with your lover. Losing your virginity a second time can be fun.
• In almost all geisha houses it is common to have a good-luck shelf facing the street full of maneki neko, “beckoning cats,” each with a little paw raised enticingly. Don’t be shy about sexy body movement. As you undress, slide one bra strap down your shoulder and give him that “come hither” look that lets him know what you are doing is especially for him.

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Beckoning cats are a friendly and light-
hearted way of extending your welcome

• When a geisha really liked a man, she invited him to sit on her right. Why? She knew that side to be more alluring. Kimono were always worn with the left side crossed over the right. This made Beckoning cats are a friendly and light-it easy for her to bestow a special hearted way of extending your welcome favor to a deserving admirer—the chance to slip in his hand and fondle her breasts. Keep this in mind when you wear that sexy, new sweater with the buttons undone.
• Be involved in what is going on with your man instead of worrying about how you look or what you said. The heart of any date is what’s happening between the two of you. Taking a chance exploring the unknown often yields unexpectedly wonderful results.
• A tayu enjoyed the privilege of turning away a guest who did not please her. You have the same option on any date.
• What if flirting is the last thing on your mind with a man? The courtesan communicated lack of desire in fascinating ways: A knot tied in the sash of her nagajuban, underslip, would send an unmistakable message. If a man on whom she had bestowed her favors did not satisfy her, she would place hot ashes under the bedclothes near his feet to awaken him from deep sleep, then oust him from her bedchamber. Don’t be afraid to show a lack of interest, but be subtle rather than crass in sending the message.

Old-Fashioned Geisha Games

• An eggplant and a pumpkin quarreling. The geisha blows out her cheeks like a pumpkin and the man falls down on top of her.
• The baseball game. The maiko pretends to throw the ball and the man pretends to hit it—and grabs her beautiful derrière.
• Janken-pon: “Scissors cut paper, paper wraps stone, stone breaks scissors.” Thrust the hand forward with two fingers extended, or palm flat, or fist clenched. In the sexy version, the geisha had to spread her legs every time she lost, opening her kimono a little wider each time.
• Bumpsy daisy: The man stands on a cushion, back to back with a geisha. At the count of three, they bump their behinds together so the geisha loses balance and falls—and the gentleman catches her.
• This erotic game is quite a trick: The gentleman, balancing an apple sitting on a plate on top of his head, sits astride a geisha lying on her back. He bends forward and tries to take in his teeth a piece of paper the geisha holds in her mouth. This is a “touchy-feely” game where the man often ends up with more than paper in his mouth.
• A card game called hanafuda, introduced by Dutch sailors at the end of sixteenth century. There are forty-eight cards, each decorated with a flower design. The “forty-eight ways,” shiju-hachi te, of sexual positions are based on the ways a sumo wrestler can defeat his opponent. The rules of the game are like sex: whatever is agreeable to the players.

BECOME A CFO: FLATTER HIM

Yoshida Hanbei, in a 1686 work entitled An Illustrated Manual of Eroticism, describes how to tell if you are a sensuous woman:

You read love stories, you begin to seek adventures without thinking about eating. You can become lost in a whirlpool of pleasure without noticing that the night is ending or that the sun is rising. Moreover, whenever you encounter a man you cough audibly and you gaze lovingly at him.⁵

That means flatter him. Quick wit, excellent timing, a bit of irony, and a ton of praise can turn you into a CFO: Chief flattery Officer. Clever conversation, storytelling skills, and the ability to improvise help prevent social mishaps. Subtle compliments give a positive glow to the atmosphere. This type of flattery is known as yoisho, “heavy lifting.”6 For example, a courtesan might speak highly of her guest’s son, knowing that it would reflect positively on the guest. Yoisho is something to keep in mind when trying to impress your date, especially in the company of others. You can improve the mood by indulging him in a pick-him-up minute of ego boosting to make certain he is feeling good about himself. And if you can’t do it in person, there’s always the telephone. Hello, phone sex, anyone?

Erotic Phone Sex Tips

• Whether your lover lives in the same city or across the country, phone sex is fun sex. According to a survey conducted by a woman’s magazine, eighty-five percent of men want women to make that breathy call.⁷ So, see what happens when you say more than “hello.”
• On the phone you can test the limits and say those sexy things you might be too intimidated to tell him in person.
• Ask questions to get your lover thinking about being with you intimately. Does he want to kiss your breasts? Does he like how you touch him in that certain spot? And if he were here with you, where would he touch you?
• Don’t forget your own pleasure. You may be the one doing the talking, but you can also touch yourself. If you feel confident, ask him to “guide” you. Go further and ask him if he is masturbating to the sound of your sexy voice.

Lighthearted Games

• Change your bedroom light bulb for one tinted red and invite your lover over for a fiery surprise. The ruby rays kick-start an erotic response in the both of you. The red highlights on your lips, cheeks, and breasts make you look flushed as if sexually excited and instantly more appealing. Red light is proven to raise your heart rates and adrenaline levels,^c similar to what happens when you become aroused.
• Turn his body into an erotic canvas by using colorful finger paints. They are edible, so removing your masterpiece can be as enjoyable as creating it. You can purchase a body paint set in different flavors: mint, strawberry, lemon lime, and blueberry.

Up to this point, you have explored the erotic elements and techniques of the inner circle of sexuality, where accepted rules and a prescribed course of action make it clear where the boundaries lie. Yet, another sphere exists. On your journey to the art of seduction, you are about to take a detour into a different arena, a world of pleasure where you can surrender to your wildest urges and indulge in the erotic realms of human nature in a very personal way. This world exists in Japan, where the participants know they are stepping outside their circle of obligations, and it is an accepted fact of life. According to anthropologist Ruth Benedict, “There is no reason not to indulge oneself but the two spheres belong apart.”⁸

Indulge, if you dare. . . .

BATHHOUSE GAMES

In the days of Old Edo, when the government outlawed heated baths in all private houses in an effort to reduce the risk of fire, the sento or public bath was born.⁹ There the male patron not only indulged in a pampered bath and massage, but also various kinds of sexual services with the young female attendants, yuna. Sento were popular for centuries and at one time nearly replaced the red-light districts.¹⁰ Everyone knew of their existence and understood their proper place in society.

Today, secreted in the same quiet streets once immortalized in ukiyoe prints as the Yoshiwara of kimono-clad courtesans, you will find “soaplands.” Many have the tone of theme parks with neon lights, stained glass windows, turrets, and battlements. One has a miniature putting green in the lobby for those who want a little sport before a soak and a rubdown. The girls often wear costumes—efficient nurses, coy schoolgirls, and trim airline attendants. Although sanctioned sex-selling was outlawed in 1956, there are loopholes. Soaplands avoid prosecution by promoting themselves as “assisted” bathhouses. Brothel guides as thick as telephone books are sold in convenience stores—along with the soap. In Japan it is not what you do, it is how and where you do it, especially regarding the pursuit of sexual pleasures. ¹¹

Considered an expensive indulgence, the soapland is always open, ready for the next customer whenever the urge to “get clean” strikes him. He can request a shimei,“nominated girl” or favorite.¹² She takes him to her room, takes off her clothes, then his. He sits on a stool while she soaps him until he is entirely covered with foam. She massages his body all over, then rinses off the soap. Smiling, she serves him chilled sake and washes his penis with a hot washcloth. Next, she invites him into the bath with her. Afterward she performs awa-odori,“lather dance.” He lies on a waterbed or rubber mattress while she, swathed in milky suds and foamy bubbles, massages every part of him with every part of her. finally, she rinses him off, “plays his flute,” then ends the session with intercourse (men are required to wear condoms). Outside the dull, orange concrete building, the city of Tokyo bustles, oblivious to the heavy breathing of the man sweating in the steam.

Sexy Sumo

Why not try a sexy version of the ancient art of sumo wrestling with your man? Sumo is combat between two people who can use nothing but their bodies. The famously hulking wrestlers, sumotori, are fast and agile. Many women find them incredibly sexy. Why? Because sumo embodies the fighting spirit. In sumo and in bed, it is the fight in the man as well as his penis that counts.

The wrestler begins by rubbing his hands together and brushing himself with a paper towel to symbolize cleansing mind and body before battle. He then tosses salt into the ring to purify and guard against injury. He claps once to alert the gods that a fight is about to begin. The opponents open their palms to show they have no hidden weapons, then strut and stare. They squat on the balls of their feet and face off in the fighting ring. Next, they lean forward and touch the knuckles of both hands to the ground. At the signal, they lunge forward, jockeying for a hold as they try to grapple their opponent out of the ring. The wrestlers wear only the mawashi, belt, a piece of fabric usually more than thirty feet long, tightly wrapped five or six times, and then cinched in back. It’s rare for a mawashi to fall off, but if it does the wrestler automatically loses.

Though a single bout can be over in a flash (remind you of any past dates who couldn’t wait?), the buildup can take ages (imagine the foreplay). In olden times, there was no limit on how long this buildup could continue—intriguing, isn’t it? Touching, a little body friction between the two of you, no secret weapons, and wearing as little as possible. Sounds good, doesn’t it? If he questions your motives and you don’t get your way, you can simulate the heavy pounding of feet used in sumo called shiko to show your displeasure. And, if your clothing comes off, you automatically win, not lose.

The element of play found in these soaplands and “Turkish” bathhouses can add to your playtime pleasures. You can bring something new to your relationship that involves your erotic senses of smell, touch, even hearing. Put on your favorite costume for your man and give him a rubdown he won’t forget. Undress, then get into the tub and let him soap you. When you’re squeaky clean, perform a “bubble dance”: cover yourself in soap then slide up and down on his nude body on a waterbed or a rubber mat. The scent of the soap turns you both on as you glide your foamy hands all over his body, while the refreshing sound of the water fills your ears, not to mention your husky voices moaning together in pleasure. Hop in, the water is just right.

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Use a brush and washcloth to give your
man a hearty scrub in the bath

Bathing with Your Lover Tips

• Before you make love, suggest you share a bath. Prepare your bathroom beforehand with your favorite fluffy towels and scented candles, and with aromatic body wash or soap. Add a “theme” to get him all hot and sweaty and ready.
• Scent the bathwater. Two drops of patchouli oil and three drops of sandalwood oil will awaken sensuality. Add three drops of lavender oil to induce relaxation.
• Step in. The hot water will open the blood vessels near the skin’s surface, making you both more responsive to touch. The combination of scents and warm-water sensations will completely prime your bodies—and your minds—for a truly sexual experience. • Try sensual textures for washing: plush washcloth, natural sponge, big bath brush, gritty exfoliant.
• Even better, use your body. Soap yourself to a lather, and slowly cover every inch of his body with your own. You’ll discover each other’s hidden “hot spots.”
• Bath vs. shower: you can expand your “playing” field to include the shower for different games.
• When you’re in the shower, don’t get out after washing. He’s feeling all hot and steamy, especially after watching the bubbling beads of water slither down your breasts, hips, legs, and everywhere in between. You can make love if your heights match. Or stand on your tippy toes or position yourself on top of a small plastic stool, sliding your body up close to his, holding him close to you.
• Making love in a pool or hot tub, lake, or ocean is highly sensuous because it gives you both the feel of flying. Use the buoyancy you get in the water to have him prop you up at fun and interesting angles.
• Water doesn’t hinder friction, though if the water temperature is cold, it may take some brisk rubbing or oral sex on your part to help him get an erection.

DANCE

Feeling sexy? More graceful? Put what you have learned into action. Dance! Japan’s famous theatrical art of Kabuki, begun in 1603 when a shrine maiden named Okuni traveled to Kyoto and, dressed in men’s clothing while chanting Buddha’s name, performed popular dances spiked with humor and eroticism. Men found her so exciting that women’s Kabuki was banned. Years later, geisha developed famous dance skills of their own. When a geisha danced, her flowing limbs and graceful poses had the sensuality of liquid light. She looked elegantly alive, lifting up her head then lowering it, her feet delicately clad in white cotton tabi, her hands and her fan like the petals of an enchanted flower blowing in the breeze. A beautiful dancer is a mesmerizing one, no matter what her face or form.

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The dance of the geisha was a mesmerizing
mix of graceful hand motions and postures

Dance Tips

• The slow, controlled movements of the fixed patterns of a geisha’s dance required a well-toned body as well as years of training. Keeping your body fit will make your dancing more graceful.
• When she dances, the geisha focuses on her relationship to the ground, being connected to the earth rather than the sky. Perform for your lover in either bare feet or high heels—both are very sexy.
• When geisha were still maiko, it was customary to flirt when dancing. If a guest became aroused and grabbed her, the girl would pretend to push him away while brushing up against him. Don’t be afraid to use your body when you dance. Touch him and let him touch you. Your graceful movements, extended limbs and torso, the curve of your lovely derrière, all inflame desire.
• To make the moon round, a maiden of legend danced before the Palace of the Moon in a robe of pure white feathers. Feathers or fan(s) or silk scarves can make your dance more seductive. Use your imagination and see where they take you—and him.
• Geisha dances told stories, about the changing seasons, about going out to meet a lover, about older geisha reminiscing. They conveyed emotion through subtle head movements, hand gestures, and body language. Use different hand and body movements when you dance, keeping in mind that certain gestures will evoke different responses. Pay attention to see what turns your lover on.

APHRODISIAC ARTS

Dip into your secret arsenal in the art of seduction: aphrodisiacs. In the eighteenth century ukiyoe series “Glories of the Twelve Months” by Isoda Koryusai, a man is seen spying on his wife in the garden, eyeing her derrière as she does the laundry, then making love to her. In the same set of prints, a couple are enjoying themselves making love, the exquisitely exhausted wife asking her husband if he rubbed an aphrodisiac on his penis.¹³ Aphrodisiacs are exotic, titillating, and even delicious.

During the era of the magnificent tayu, aphrodisiacs were part of her “secret cache” of drugs, medicines, and love potions to rev up the sexual energy of her customers for nightlong lovemaking. These included unsavory ingredients, such as extract of white dog liver, charred newts, and powdered dried lizard. If these weren’t to the gentleman’s taste, he could always choose herbal prescriptions,¹⁴ including jiogan, “yellow earth pills,” prepared from the roots of the Rehmannia lutea, a plant belonging to the figwort family;¹⁵ lotus root; and chomeigan, an aphrodisiac thought to improve strength and endurance. Kuroyaki, a dark powder dissolved in sake, is still used today.¹⁶ Certain nutritious foods, such as kelp and barley leaves, were understood to be beneficial for maintaining a powerful erection and sex drive. Aojiru, a greenish grass extract drink said to have an unpleasant taste, is a modern equivalent.

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Deer antlers, horny goat weed, and eels were
among the favored courtesan aphrodisiacs

She also used substances to irritate the mucous membrane of the man’s genitalia, intending to produce a warm, itching feeling similar to sexual arousal, and with it, an aphrodisiac effect. Unfortunately for the customer, his penis often became inflamed. In such a case, sandalwood oil soothed the resulting rashes. Because she herself epitomized sexual vigor, her female ejaculate was even drunk as an aphrodisiac and also thought to have rejuvenating properties to reverse the aging process.¹⁷ Psychological aphrodisiacs included her outlandishly appealing clothing, including numerous “needles” or combs in her hair, her long, long kimono dragging behind her, and high, high geta. For her mabu, secret lover, she more than likely employed a powder made from the slender, spiraled ivory tusk of the narwhal, a mysterious whale from the Arctic sea, often mistaken for that of the mythical unicorn.

Aphrodisiac Recipes

Charbroiled Oysters Casanova *

1/3 cup butter or butter substitute • 2/3 Tbsp. finely chopped garlic • pinch or two of pepper • 1/8 cup or slightly less grated Parmesan cheese • 1/8 cup or slightly less grated Romano cheese • 11 Pacific oysters, on the half shell • 1/4 cup finely chopped parsley

Heat the grill over medium high heat.

Melt the butter or butter substitute with the garlic and pepper in a large skillet.

Mix together the Parmesan and Romano cheeses in a small bowl.

Put the oysters on the grill. If you have trouble opening the oysters, put them on the grill a few minutes until they pop open. Remove the top shell, then drizzle the melted butter mixture on each oyster. Add a pinch of the combined cheeses to each oyster, then add a pinch of parsley.

Grill the oysters until they are hot, bubbly and puffed, about 8 minutes.

*Casanova was reputed to eat dozens of oysters daily to increase his sexual prowess.

Chocolate Ambrosia Latte

1 cup nonfat milk • ¼ (approximately 14 oz.) carton of silken tofu • 1 Tbsp. instant espresso powder • 2 Tbsp. cocoa • ¼ cup sugar • ½ teaspoon vanilla • 1/8 teaspoon almond extract • ½ cup crushed ice • chocolate whipped cream (for topping)

Mix milk, tofu, espresso powder, cocoa, sugar, vanilla, and almond extract in a blender until smooth. Add ice and blend again until it is a yummy frappé. Top with a luscious swirl of chocolate whipped cream. Serve cold. Makes 2 servings.

Peniform mushrooms and hard deer antlers, powdered along with other herbs, were also believed to produce untold vigor and splendid, bone-hard erections. She also gave her lover horny goat weed to increase sperm production, stimulate the sensory nerves, and increase sexual desire. Eels were also a popular aphrodisiac. According to legend, when after numerous meetings and expensive gifts, a certain nobleman secured an evening with the most expensive tayu, he declared no one else in the pleasure quarters could indulge in eels on that day—and night.

The courtesan maintained her own sexual function by massaging herself with ginger oil. The warming, stimulating oil was known for its aphrodisiac qualities and fresh herbal smell, much less pungent than the root. Pleasing to both her and her lover was another drug she smeared onto a piece of paper, which she then wrapped around his penis. After inserting his penis into her vagina, the man waited a few moments for the aphrodisiac to melt. As it did so, his penis swelled, and at that moment the courtesan would flush slightly and slowly begin to move her limbs, then her hips, then her entire torso, until both reached the peak of satisfaction.¹⁸

Then there was, and still is, fugu. In Old Edo tales, beautiful heroines and lovers forbidden to marry would commit ritual suicide. Called shinju, lovers’ suicide is an exquisitely tragic example of the Japanese fascination with beauty, pleasure, and death. So is fugu.

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The tingling poison of the fugu blowfish
was considered a dangerous pleasure

Fugu is a fish eaten as far back as the time of Japan’s first official history in a.d. 720. The texture of the pearly white flesh is somewhere between crunchy and chewy. Bite a cool, firm slice and the palate tingles, a slight numbness spreads on the lips and tongue. But the ovaries, skin, liver, and intestines are lethal. They contain tetrodotoxin, a poison so potent the U.S. Food and Drug Administration warns that it can “produce rapid and violent death.”¹⁹ Fugu loversare willing to take that chance to experience the sense of euphoria eat ing the fish induces in them. The key to successful preparation is the complete removal of the poisonous organs before the fins are cut off, grilled, and served in hot sake; the skin is removed from the flesh, which is poached and served; and paper-thin slices of fugu sashimi are arranged on the plate like the petals of a chrysanthemum, Japan’s traditional funeral flower. A final course of tetchiri—fugu cooked in broth with vegetables, tofu, and noodles— brings the arousal from defying death to its peak. Then comes the aphrodisiac pièce de résistance: the fugu testes in a glass of hot sake. (Needless to say, do not attempt to prepare fugu on your own! Fugu chefs must be trained and licensed.)

You may not have access to the aphrodisiacs of the tayu, or even want them, but there are sensual and delicious foods that have an aphrodisiac-like effect for you both: oysters and chocolate.

OYSTERS

On Hekurajima, a small island near the Noto Peninsula, slim and tanned Japanese women, dressed only in loincloths with a rope around their waists, their bare breasts glistening, dive into the water for conches, garlands of edible seaweed, and oysters, often with pearls found nestled inside the shell. These mermaids have long known about the aphrodisiac quality of oysters. Oysters contain all the nutrients important to male fertility. They also have a smooth, moist texture, a briney taste, and a delicate aroma that can be very erotic. Their obvious resemblance to female genitalia spawned in Japan the usage of the word bobokai, “shell,” as a metaphor for the vulva, and explains their link with love and romance in the West as well.

The Pacific oyster, originally from Japan, is the most widely cultured oyster in the world and is sold under a variety of names, including Kumamoto. It is creamier in flavor than the Atlantic variety, in which you can taste the saltiness of the ocean. Whatever their flavor, oysters are deep cupped, plump, and sweet, like your breasts. Good for him to nibble on. So, how do you eat an oyster? Here are some tips to make this erotic delicacy go down easily.

How to Eat Oysters Tips

• Like the taste of a woman, the subtle nuances in the flavor of oysters can only be discerned au naturel. Serve them grilled, raw with crushed ice and seaweed, or with a squirt of lemon or a sauce that does not mask the underlying taste.
• Hot sauce, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, and seafood cocktail sauce are also good accompaniments to oysters.

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The look and texture of oysters make them
primary among the list of sensual, sexual foods

If oysters don’t send his sex-ometer up, try chocolate. It is tasty, melty, and can be eaten in any shape that interests you. Any shape. Mmm . . .

CHOCOLATE

On Valentine’s Day in Japan, women give chocolate to men, including their coworkers, bosses, male friends, brothers, father, husband, and their boyfriends. (Men give the women gifts on March 14, called White Day.) If a woman doesn’t feel amorous toward a man, e.g., her boss, she gives him girichoco, “obligation chocolate.” To the man who makes her heart beat faster but who is not yet a prospective husband, she gives special gifts, such as neckties and clothes with chocolate. The chocolate she gives to her special man is called honmeichoco, “prospective winner chocolate.” Honmeichoco is more expensive than girichoco and can be homemade.

Can chocolate make him fall in love with you? Chocolate is the perfect aphrodisiac because it contains substances called phenylethylamine and seratonin, mood-lifting agents that occur naturally in the brain. These cause a rapid mood change and a rise in blood pressure, increasing the heart rate and inducing feelings of well being, bordering on the euphoria he experiences with feelings of love, passion, and—dare you hope?—lust.

Chocolate Tips

• Eating chocolate with its luscious aroma, texture, sweetness, and flavor can also give him an immediate and substantial energy boost, increasing his stamina where it counts the most—in bed with you.
• The chocolate with the highest concentration of mood-enhancing substances is top-quality semisweet or bittersweet.

A FINAL WORD ON APHRODISIACS . . .

You don’t have to stuff him with oysters, fill him up with chocolate, or make his mouth numb with fugu. The most powerful aphrodisiac is simple: attention, and plenty of it. Focus on your lover as if he were the only man in the room and in your life. Get him to talk. Engage in provocative questions, not bland conversation. If he says something funny or smart, or you like his cologne or his shirt, say so. This reassures him that you won’t reject him. Geisha gave compliments all the time, and men knew they would be accepted for themselves. Let him know you have all the time he needs and you are in no hurry. If you want to see him again or don’t want him to leave, drop hints. A geisha could coyly hand her customer another incense stick if she wanted him to stay, since her time was measured by its burning.

Sexy play is similar to the Japanese notion of yoin. Yoin is the sound a bell makes after it is struck. It is a “reverberation” in the sense of an overtone, a resonance. It implies that something you felt stimulated your imagination and caused a positive memory to linger.²⁰ A fleeting smile, a blush on your cheeks, a gentle touch, all produce yoin—and a sexier you. If you can instill yoin in his mind, he will remember you long after you leave the room.

By sharing a bath, good conversation, flirting, and games, you have broken through one of most difficult parts of any couple bonding: communication. Conversation, touching, being spontaneous and playful, and letting yourself go all contribute to acquiring intimacy. Once you have formed this bond with him, you’re ready for the next part of your journey: making love.