Mira
“I can’t live with him, Lewis.”
Lewis frowns at the road as he drives to my studio apartment. “Why? Tyler’s a good guy.”
And here’s where it gets tricky. Tyler is a good guy, even though he’s trying hard to be a royal ass.
What Tyler doesn’t realize is that I know his game. I play it every day. I can tell the bad seeds from the good. Tyler doesn’t make the cut. He’s complex for sure, and something happened to give him an edge, but he’s not what he’s making himself out to be. For one, he didn’t need to stay with me last night. If he were a true jerk, he would have left me on my own like any self-respecting asshole.
No, Tyler’s a mix of good guy and fire. That fire was there all those years ago, but hidden, and never more evident than the night we were together at Holly Walker’s house party. I wasn’t ready for it then. I’m not ready for it now.
“It isn’t a good idea for me and Tyler to live together. We didn’t really get along in high school.”
Lewis glances at me, his brow furrowed in confusion. “Wasn’t he your tutor for two years? I thought you guys got along fine. Not that you needed his help. I still don’t understand why you didn’t let me tutor you.”
Lewis was one of the best students in school, but I had my sights on Tyler, so…
I rub a smudge of dirt off the door that I’ve brought in with my shoes, feigning nonchalance. “He helped me for a year and a half. And I didn’t want to bother you with tutoring. You spent all your time studying; you didn’t need another reason to have your nose in a book. Studying with Tyler worked out for a while, but then we had a falling out. It happened right before you guys graduated. He pretty much hates me now.”
Lewis’s gaze flickers over, his expression contemplative. “I don’t think he hates you, Mira. Give the guy a chance. Cali’s is the safest place for you right now. You said so yourself—no one knows you’re there. Tyler is taking time off work and he’s around. He’s the best person to keep an eye on you.”
I could grumble about not needing anyone to look out for me, but even I have to admit that I’m in deeper than I thought. I woke up this morning in a cold sweat from a nightmare involving the men from the woods. In my dream, they didn’t stop at a beating. I woke before the guy choked me to death with his hands.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Good, now tell me about last night. I took it you didn’t want to talk in front of everyone, or even the police, but I need to know the details. In fact, we should give the police the full story and how we paid off that man a few weeks back. The loan shark shouldn’t be involved in this, but you never know.”
I’d gotten so behind when I told Lewis and his parents about the money. Lewis insisted we pay the guy off. It sickened me to borrow from them, but there was no way I could get out of it without help. I asked for just enough to get the loan shark off my back.
“I owe more,” I say.
“Mira,” Lewis growls, which isn’t like Lewis at all. I’ve really pissed him off. “What do you mean you owe more?”
“About twice what I told you.”
“Twice the amount?” His gaze darts from me to the road and back again as he angles the Jeep down the street to my apartment and pulls into the driveway beneath the carport. He shuts the engine off and turns to me. “How did this get so out of control? Have you been gambling since?”
“No.”
He sighs. “Well, that’s one good thing. Your therapist is getting through to you?”
“Yeah, she is. She’s helping me with my problems.” Which is true. I see my therapist every week, and we go over all my shit with my mom.
“Exactly how much more do you owe?”
“Another twelve. I didn’t want to worry you,” I say in a rush. “I thought if I told you the full amount, you’d freak out. I gave the man half, thinking that would get him off my back until I saved up the rest.”
“You owe a hitman another twelve grand? What the hell, Mira? What were you thinking, spending that kind of money at the casinos?” He grabs the back of his neck.
I lean my head against the glass, staring at the dumpster beside the carport. “Loan shark. And yes, I’ve stopped.” No way can I give my mom any more money.
“So the men who hurt you were sent by that man? Why didn’t you tell me the truth? Do you realize how dangerous this is? My parents and I would have paid it off, Mira. We need to tell the police. And I’m giving you the rest of the money.”
“Lewis, stop. You need to give me a chance. I have a plan on how to pay the rest back.”
Well, the seed of a plan, anyway.
He stares at me. “You don’t get it, Mira. You could have died last night.”
I close my eyes for a beat, because he’s right. That doesn’t mean I can keep depending on Lewis to fix my problems. Yes, I’m making changes when it comes to my mom, but I’m also working on not relying on Lewis and his family for everything.
“Just give me a couple of weeks to look into some things. A job opportunity just opened up. I’ve wanted a normal schedule for a while. This position pays better and it’s a total nine-to-fiver. If I cut down on expenses and find a better job, I know I can get these guys off my back. I don’t need much, and I’m good at saving money.”
“When you’re not gambling,” he grumbles. “You’re frugal as hell. Which is why this entire thing makes no sense.” He looks at me. Really looks at me, and I wonder if he sees the truth.
I avoid his eyes.
“In fact,” he continues, “you hardly have any expenses as it is. I don’t know how you think you can cut back.”
I open the door and step out, meeting Lewis at the back of his car. “The guy I owe is an ass, but he takes installments. He charges insane interest, but it’s worth it. I got behind last time, but I can fix this. I know I can. You can’t bail me out of everything. Even my therapist says I need to stop depending on you.”
Resignation crosses his face. My words hit their mark. Lewis has been asking me to listen to my therapist for weeks. He can’t turn around and tell me not to now.
He rubs the back of his neck again and stretches it, as if our conversation has given him a neck cramp. It isn’t easy for Lewis to allow me to take care of myself. The dependency goes both ways.
He drops his arm stiffly to his side. “Two weeks, Mira. I’ll give you two weeks to come up with a plan.” We start walking toward my apartment building. “If you live at Cali’s, and stay away from your mom, and stick by Tyler’s side. I’ll cover the rent at your studio.”
“You don’t—”
“That’s it. No exceptions.” We climb the stairs to my second-floor apartment, and I pull out the keys. “You won’t have to pay Cali for the cabin. Tyler texted Jaeger he’ll pay the rent while Cali is away. This is what I’m proposing. Otherwise, I pay off that man, and you’re going into a treatment center—for gambling.”
Huge emphasis on the last word.
Lewis is no dummy. I’m sure he suspects my mom is behind this somehow, but if he isn’t bringing it up, neither am I. Maybe he’s giving me the benefit of the doubt. Or maybe he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of the truth.
I open the door to my apartment and we walk inside. It’s not much. A love seat and end table. A small bookshelf with more knickknacks than books—a vase that held flowers from my high-school graduation, a small Washoe woven basket my mom gave me before she lost her home.
I turn to him. “But living with Tyler…”
Lewis shrugs. “Your choice. Those are my conditions.”
I’m not sure how he thinks he can throw me in a treatment center without my consent, given I’m an adult, but I can tell he’s at least trying to give me space to do the right thing. It goes against Lewis’s instincts not to bail me out.
“Okay, agreed.”
He looks around. “Where’s your suitcase?”
I point to the closet by my bed, and Lewis pulls my suitcase from the top shelf while I grab clothes out of a drawer.
He stares at the broken handle and wheel, and shakes his head. “Frugal girl…You need a new one of these.”
I dump the clothes on my bed. “It’s fine.”
Lewis unzips the suitcase. “Why were you in the woods? Tyler mentioned he found you near a cabin your mom is living in.” He raises his eyebrow. “You said you wouldn’t go to her place anymore.”
I knew this was coming. “I was on my way to visit her,” I say reluctantly, leaving out the part about how I was going to give her cash. That was so stupid. I can’t keep giving her money and still be able to pay off my debt.
He groans. “We talked about this. She’ll hurt you and keep hurting you. She’s selfish.”
He’s right, but I don’t want to be a crap daughter because I have a shit mom. That doesn’t mean I’m risking my life again. I’ve been enabling, as my therapist puts it. It’s a fine balance.
“It’s not as easy as you think. If Becky made a mistake, could you walk away and never look back?”
His mouth compresses. “You know that’s not the same.”
Lewis’s mom is amazing. She’s loving, supportive without overdoing it. She’s shown me the kind of woman I want to be.
“My mom is as fallible as anyone else.” He grabs a stack of clothes to toss in the suitcase, his gaze narrowing on the lacy underwear in his hands. He drops them like they’re hot coal. “I think I’ll wait in the kitchen while you pack.”
Lewis moves away from the dangerous lingerie and heads out of the bedroom, but he pauses at the door. “The point I was going to make is that my mom tries to be a good parent. In her case, she succeeds most of the time. Your mother has never put you first. Her only concern is for herself, and she’ll drag you down if you let her. Have you talked about your mom with your therapist?”
“Of course.” I pull out jeans and a few tops and add them to the pile in the suitcase.
“What does she say?”
I avoid his gaze, hesitating.
“Mira?”
“Same stuff you do. That it’s not a healthy relationship. That even though my mom may not intentionally hurt me, her actions do, and I need to make decisions that are best for me.”
“You should listen to your therapist.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re saying that because she echoes you.”
“That’s not true. I want what’s best for you.”
“I know you do. I’ll try. But I can’t just cut her out of my life.”
“Maybe”—he squeezes the back of his neck—“just work on distancing yourself. Your mom expects too much.”
He has no idea.
Tyler
Minutes after Mira runs out to Lewis’s Jeep, a knock sounds at the door. I climb halfway up the loft ladder and grab my T-shirt from the floor, pulling it over my head before jerking the sticky front door open.
A woman with graying black hair and tanned, wrinkled skin stands on the other side. Despite the prematurely aged look, the woman might have been attractive at one point. Bright eyes, high, full cheekbones.
I’m not surprised. It’s Mira’s mom, after all—the person I saw inside the cabin last night.
The woman’s gaze darts past me into the cabin. “Mira stayin’ here?” Her voice is slightly hoarse, a bit slurred.
Nice manners.
“Sorry, who are you?”
I know who she is, but I want her on the defensive. With Mira’s tight-assed responses, I’m not opposed to maneuvering around her to figure out what’s going on. I’d bet my right nut this woman knows.
The woman looks me up and down, as if I’m the one with unwashed clothes and sour breath. “I’m looking for my daughter. She living here? Girl never showed last night. Was supposed to bring me somethin’.”
“Why don’t you tell me what she was supposed to bring you, and I’ll make sure she gets the message.”
The woman’s eyes narrow. “Jus’ tell her I came by. And that I’m not happy.” She punctuates the last part with an angry glare and turns around.
“Mira was attacked on her way to see you,” I say.
The lady stops and looks over her shoulder.
“Your daughter didn’t show up because she’d been beaten.”
A flicker of something crosses her eyes. Or it could have been light shifting through the trees. “Who did it?”
I shrug as if it’s no concern of mine, but I care. I’d feel bad for any girl who’d been hurt like that. Nothing to do with Mira.
“Yeah, well, she should have come when I asked her to. If she hadn’t been running late, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.”
My jaw tightens. Her mom makes it sound like Mira deserved the beating. It pisses me off that this woman acts like she doesn’t give a shit about her daughter.
“I said she was hurt. Badly.”
The woman squirms and looks away. “Well, she’s alive, ain’t she?”
I shake my head. Fucking unbelievable. “Whatever, lady. I’ll tell her you came by.”
I go to shut the door, but Mira’s mom moves quickly, considering her disheveled look, and shoves her scuffed white sneaker against the jamb, holding it open. “Tell Mira not to wait too long.”
I study her face. “How’d you know where to find her?”
Her eyes dart away. “I waited near that Lewis fellow’s place and followed him.”
And she didn’t see Mira leave here with him?
It would depend how far back Mira’s mom trailed Lewis. Mira left pretty quickly…to get away from me. Maybe Mira’s mom only saw Lewis’s truck pull away from Cali’s cabin and thought to check out the place? Cover all her bases. She’s dirty, likely drunk or high, but not stupid.
“You should call Mira if you need her so urgently. I don’t know when she’s returning.”
Or if she’s returning. Mira might decide to stay somewhere else, now that she knows we’ll be living together.
“Can’t. Don’t have a phone.” The woman turns and walks down the drive toward a beat-up, mammoth sedan. “Jus’ tell her I came by. She’ll know what to do,” she says without looking back.
If Mira hadn’t been on her way to see her mother, those men wouldn’t have cornered her alone. What does Mira’s mom need so desperately she’s willing to put her daughter in danger? And what kind of mother does that?
Fuck. I knew this would happen. It’s why I can’t live with Mira. I don’t want to worry about what goes on in her life.
But if I discover the truth and a solution to Mira’s problem, maybe I can put a stop to this mess. Mira will be safe and can move out, and life will be good.
Well, not good, but my new normal.