At this point, some of you may be thinking (in a Jim Jefferies voice), “Don’t you fuck with my beliefs, Humble. You wrote a few cute things, but you’re about to cross the line. Respect my beliefs.”
I have every intention to fuck with your beliefs.
I don’t even know your beliefs; I don’t really care what they are. I’m more concerned with the idea of beliefs itself.
Beliefs are simply opinions that we don’t particularly want to reevaluate. They may pertain to our favorite sports teams, political ideologies, spiritual philosophies, or simply the way we govern our lives.
People take pride in their beliefs, as if having a particular belief is an accomplishment of some sort. This is an interesting idea because once pride enters the ring, folks then relate their beliefs to their identity.
Once people stick the flag of identity into a belief, they no longer see a distinction between the belief and themselves. These are the types of individuals who get bent when you criticize their beliefs. At this point I could give specific examples, but that action alone would illustrate my point.
The stronger the belief, the more we’re dug in and the less pleasant it is to hear anything that doesn’t support that thought. We are bound to facts, but we HOLD beliefs. Sometimes we can get in so deep with our beliefs we forget where we end and the belief begins.
My beliefs in life dramatically changed when I realized this idea. The moment I wasn’t able to give someone a scenario to scrutinize my beliefs, I realized I was only open to folks who were already on my side. It was never about the belief. Many of the beliefs I held were handed down to me; I never owned them to begin with, but I did feel threatened by anyone who didn’t share them because I simply began to believe that they were a part of me.
I realized how closed minded I had become, and how little I was learning. So I let them go. I embraced I-don’t-know-ism and everyone I met was now a potential teacher and adventure.
People marry their beliefs and cannot fathom a life where they could believe anything to the contrary. They’ve closed doors, and take it personally when you say anything that doesn’t align with their view. I don’t blame them; who doesn’t enjoy being agreed with and validated? Strong beliefs can serve as comfort zones, which, although familiar territory, are no more than a graveyard for personal growth.
This chapter isn’t for everyone—it’s for the folks who are open to it. I’m writing this because I know there are individuals who want to divorce and unlearn some of the things that were poured into their minds at a very young age, but are afraid of the world afterwards. Don’t be. The wisest ones are the ones who acknowledge how little they actually know.
I would love for you to write down the beliefs you value, and ask yourself where they came from. Then ask yourself if you can imagine life divorced from those beliefs. That version of me existed when I started this Humble the Poet journey. I was then blessed with opportunities to travel and meet folks who were caring enough to fuck with my beliefs, until I realized I was just living off hand-me-down ideas, very few of which agreed with my unique being.
You are not your beliefs.
Don’t take offense if someone doesn’t hold the same beliefs as you, and don’t think it’s beneficial to impose your beliefs on others. Be wary of the beliefs you hold that you cannot conceive of letting go.
We’d all be better off to continually reevaluate our relationship with our beliefs; they may be invisible anchors to an adventure of lifelong learning.
This may not be the most popular chapter in the book, and I’m OK with that. I’m grateful that people don’t see things the way I do; it’s my opportunity to leave my comfort zones and grow.