Where do you go when you find out your whole life is a lie? When you find out that all of the awful things that happened to you in your childhood, all of your worst memories and darkest fears, didn’t have to happen? That the men you thought maybe were something special, maybe could possibly have a place in your life, in your heart, that they were hiding the truth from you all along?
You go with what you know. And what I knew, from my childhood dodging foster parents and the cops who would return me to them, was the docks by Boston Harbor.
When you can hide in the shadows at will, the harbor isn’t so bad. Some of the abandoned warehouses made for decent places to squat if you didn’t want to go right home. Sure, you had to watch out for junkies and weirdos and the occasional territorial homeless person, but it was as good a place as any for an outcast piece of refuse to wash up.
The smell of saltwater and garbage was oppressive, but invigorating. Which was good, because I was bone-weary. I couldn’t go back to McKinnett’s, obviously. Aric’s people were fixing the back door, and I didn’t want to be a cultist magnet. I didn’t want to go to Missi’s either, for fear of somehow attracting the cultists to her door. Billy was obviously out. He despised me, and I couldn’t blame him. I broke his heart for someone I’d known for a week.
Was it only a week? It really felt like I’d known them longer. My whole life. I laughed at myself for being a chump. You didn’t know them at all. They could lie to you easier that way.
I adjusted my backpack and sat down on the edge of a pier, feet dangling down over the black water below me. Bits of refuse and clumps of seaweed glistened in the moonlight. Reflexively, I kept an ear out for security guards and cops, but for the most part, I just let my mind drift.
Just a week and a half ago, I’d have been asleep in my room at the pub. Safe. In the morning, I’d have breakfast with Kitty. I’d go for a walk, then come back and help get the pub ready for the early regulars. Joe, Mike, probably a couple of Donovan’s boys. I’d spend the day and late into the night carrying and fetching and exchanging hellos and pleasantries with the regulars and dodging tourists. Lunch at a hot dog cart. Fetching dinner for the crew from one of the takeout places nearby. Cleanup, some social time with the pub crew, then back to bed for another day. If it was a Monday, Missi would cart me off to someplace in the city to make me be social, or back to her place to watch movies. She liked action flicks. I liked Disney. Lots of orphans have happily ever afters in Disney.
My stomach flipped. Then, they came into my life. And for a hot second, I thought there might be some sort of happy for me, too. With four princes. Or three princes and a jester with prince potential. Stupid. Stupid, greedy, and stupid. They thought I was their queen. Some queen. I sure as hell didn’t feel like a queen. I felt like a lost little kid sitting on a smelly dock, without a home for the umpteenth time. Maybe I’d never have one. I’d had so many of them ripped away from me, and now I was losing McKinnett’s too.
I felt the dragon in my chest, grinding at my insides. I wanted to grab the shadows, wrap myself up in them, and just vanish. Maybe it would be better for everyone involved. Billy wouldn’t have to agonize over my ‘infidelity,’ though fuck him for thinking he owned me in the first place. The dragons could go fuck themselves for all I cared. Missi and Kitty… I sighed and kicked at the pier support beam. No. I couldn’t do that to them. Besides, it was fear of me that would keep Kiernan Donovan and his goons at bay. And the cult… I could at least lure them away from McKinnett’s if I was alive and someplace else.
My mind wandered back to the guys. Galen had seemed so sweet, so genuine. Cass too, so earnest and eager. Aric, the wounded tragic asshole. And Chase, so strong and protective and… I felt a twinge between my legs and inwardly scolded myself. That was all gone now. They’d lied to protect their precious Elders and their precious dragon society that had essentially cast me out, defenseless, to my own devices. At four years old.
A distant memory, hazy and dreamlike, made its way through the anger. I was sitting on a pier, but not like the one I was sitting on. This one was wooden, planks over thick logs thrust deep into the water. I kicked my legs and watched as a blue dragon, long and lithe and broad-winged, skimmed over the water. Mist poured out of his nostrils. I waved at him, giggling and clapping my hands. Another dragon soared into the sky, black wings blotting out the sun for a moment as she soared up, up, then hung there for a moment before dive-bombing the blue one. He splashed into the water, resurfacing and blowing a fountain into the air. The black one resurfaced with him, snorting water and nuzzling Daddy’s neck. Her scales glowed from beneath like coals with embers.
Daddy. Mommy. But he wasn’t the only Daddy.
The memory slipped through my fingers, and I was left alone in the dark again. I’d always thought that those thoughts were just daydreams concocted by a lonely orphaned child. Now… Now it didn’t matter. I was alone again, and I would remain alone. Dragonkind could fuck off.
“We have to keep trying. She won’t stay away from McKinnett’s for long. She’s weak. She has feelings for those humans, and we can exploit those feelings.”
I scrambled for the edge of the pier closest to land and flattened myself into a shadow. I could feel the evil roiling in my chest, drowning my dragon. It was like a thousand drunken creepsters reaching for my ass all at once. Every hair on my body stood on end.
“No.” A second voice hissed annoyance. “We’ve overplayed that hand. She won’t be back there for some time. She won’t wish to bring us to her pet humans. She’ll stay away.”
“With the dragons.”
A nasty laugh. “There are only four of them. They can’t protect her forever. And we know where they nest.”
A lump rose in my throat. The guys were in trouble.
An annoyed hiss. “Yes. Shrouded by the ancient magics, in a well-guarded place. We need to lure them out. And we need her to do that.”
“We need her essence more than we need revenge. Extract her essence, sacrifice it to the Great Serpent. Then, he wakes. Then, we rule.”
“What if she isn’t enough?”
A slap. “Heretic. You think he hasn’t thought of that. Hers is not the only essence being sacrificed. The High Priest has a plan. The High Priest has resources you haven’t even dreamed of. The Serpent will rise, and bring us all to glory.”
“We’ll both be sacrificed if we don’t get these supplies to the cavern. Come on. Less dogma, more hauling.” A grunt, and weary footsteps walking away.
I waited until they faded entirely, then poked my head up out of the shadows. I could see two figures rounding the corner behind a warehouse. I could follow them, see where they were going. Yeah, genius, just hand yourself to them. Why not throw on a hot pink shirt and do a little dance while you’re at it? No. I needed to tell my boys what I’d heard, even if I was pissed off at them.
My boys. I sighed and frowned at myself. Enough of that. I pulled out my phone.