Redeem this token for your designated class. The purple bold sentence lights up in a Coptic font at the top of my holographic ticket.
I hold onto it with my left hand. My arms dangle as I wait in line, only stopping when I raise my right hand to my lips to bite my thumbnail. My nasty habit of coping with anxiousness. Too scared to put the ticket in my pocket for fear of the plastic folding, I grip onto it like a lifeline. I glance down at it, moving it at an angle so the outside ominous white lights in the prison yard bounce off it.
I turn the ticket from side to side and its projected image of a black jaguar is put in motion. It leaps forward and jaws open, unearthing its menacing canines. Incontestably used for killing. Its visually hypnotizing fangs pierce the imagination with thoughts of gnawing and ripping apart its prey. It then makes a retrograde fall into the backdrop, partially obscured by a billowing grassy plain. Its glowing citrine eyes stare back at me through the tall grass. Its jaws catch some Z’s as I stop moving the ticket. I’ll wager ten bucks it awaits the turn of my wrist to pounce into focus once more.
I bite off the tip of my thumbnail and spit it onto the dirt. The mark on the ventral side of my right forearm, as I lower it from biting my thumbnail, conveys the real sprightly me back in the day. I got the long scar in the north shore of Oahu, Hawaii. It extends vertically from my palm up to the start of my bicep.
The Pipeline wave I rode that day, when I was sixteen, crashed into a jagged coral reef just mere yards from the shore. I proudly wear the permanent scar as it goes extremely well with the tough guy image I try to exude. Even when I don’t feel so tough. That’s often the case in this fraternity.
There’re monkey hoots contesting the eased rain clattering off leaves beyond the chain link fences at my sides with razor barbed wire on top. The fences congest all one man and one hundred plus boys into a tight space. Every one of us trooping in an orderly single file between them. The much–needed relaxation I garner from these ambient rainforest sounds, and the fragile scent of this sweet, crisp rain is getting interrupted by a constant ping.
I hear a pest behind me sliding a stick across one of the fences as the line moves forward. It slips into the spaces in the fence and taps a steel link with each step. A flimsy wood bashed on a rich metal. A clash of swords when a penniless serf picks a quarrel with a noble knight.
“You know the fence is meant to keep out unwelcome visitors. Ergo, the electric detail. Now I’m not your dad but we’re about to be brothers so I caution. The voltage of the shock you’ll draw in from playing with the fence will cause you more than discomfort. It’ll paralyze you.”
Like clockwork, another ping sounds behind my right ear.
Not scared of being shocked is he.
“Those sounds with your toy stick might elicit a response from those we try and keep out. And it’s a bit galling,” I notify him politely of my annoyance.
The line stops. I’m mellow as I turn around to look at him behind me. He’s improvised clothes for himself by wearing an upside–down jute burlap potato sack with holes in it for his arms and head. The sack is tattered with claw tears over his chest and stomach.
The outfit is adorned with a wide headband made of a highly reflective and bendable metal around his forehead. Flaxen lowlight streaks in his hair ground his bright cropped do’ that stays risen despite the weather trying to weigh it down. A few pear–shaped droplets rest on the ends of his hairs. His tousled head appears as though he stuck his head out of a car window for several miles. Yet only one clump sum of his mussed–up corn–yellow hair marks a line over the headband onto his right brow.
He emanates an air of boredom. His face lacking wakefulness with deep bags under his ebony eyes and plum circles around them; close–set with the daintiest turned–up nose between them. So young and overworked in preparation for this moment. If it weren’t for my understanding of what he’s been through, I’d think he doesn’t care much about the outcome of tonight. So long as he gets some sleep.
Must’ve barely made it past the last round.
I see a seventeen–year–old me in the mirror encompassing his forehead. The mirror’s curves generate a squeezed panorama of the environment with me at its center. I wake from the trance remembering I’m a Nihil now. I’m no longer a teenager, let alone a child of vanity. The movement of the line carries on and I walk backwards as he remains oblivious to my presence.
“We’re here trying to stimulate ourselves by obsoleting the past us. Stop allowing others the flattery of their reflection and put that headgear away. It makes anyone who looks into it vain.” This time I’m indirect with my impatience, nitpicking what else to place blame on for my growing annoyance with his toy stick.
The line stops once more and I with it. He takes a break from moving the thin tree branch on the fence and snaps it in half with one hand. He finally got the point. There’s a long pause.
“I don’t take orders from a Nihil. You’re one of us old man.” The abrasive attitude in his response is weak.
The stacked undertones in his voice are telling me he’s frightened but all too ready. He’s got spunk. I don’t intimidate him, but I do know what frightens him. The same thing that frightens all of us waiting in line. It’s that sturdy plastic ticket tucked under his headband by the left ear. Just a corner sticking out that’ll fossilize his position in this fraternity of man. Forever a part of this all–capitalist brotherhood. My annoyance is his coping mechanism for what’s to come, finding a way to distract himself as I did in biting my nails.
He stretches his arms out, capable of touching both fences to his sides in unison. With his now broken stick, he uses one half in each hand to make double the noise of wood beating on metal.
“For fucks sake,” I grunt, stepping backwards a few spots as the line moves forward. I bore into his eyes. “You know what’s out there, right?” I make a quick glance and nod towards the fence.
“Monkeys.” The boy tries to outstare me.
There’s something raising a slight furor amongst the monkeys swinging in trees. Their noise is steadily rising and gaining coherence.
“Apart from what we can hear, there’re silent pigs stalking us. The size of buffalo with their pet cronies; sly, man–eating lizard monsters. I’ve seen the lizards with my own eyes, and they’ve seen me. Ever–present in the sight of golden flakes whisking in the air.” I try to ward him from his insolence in disturbing the peace.
He lacks in knowledge what he’ll bring upon us if he pursues his childish diversion. The prison yard is based in a covert arena so the brothers can gather in peace. Lately, we’ve withstood attacks from members that dissented from the majority. Rumors developed about why they left and somehow, it led to their recognition as giant pigs. They’re watching us. Reason one of two on why this baptism is being held in silence alongside this restful rain.
You can’t just wait in line quietly like the rest of us, can you?
I bump my back into the back of the boy behind me as the line abruptly stops. “Sorry,” I voice with not a care in the world reflected in my phlegmatic apology.
“Giant pigs? Keep daydreaming. While I deny your welcome to dreamland, I do have a hankering for probing a mad man’s muse. Where fantasy penetrates reality. Tell me mad man, at what point does your fantasy penetrate this reality?”
“I’m not insane. Funny and sad you think my warning of great fiction,” I reply, my lip curling.
“The final round must’ve taken a serious toll on you if you expect me to believe in colossal swine and reptilian monsters. I don’t believe in campfire stories,” he says softly, staring up at the blurred night sky. Muted raindrops timidly tap his forehead and then circle their way past the soft edges of his face to meet at his receding chin. “Now go back to sleep,” he continues with the same subdued tone in his voice as his sight lowers back on me.
“You’re the sheep,” I express in an almost childish tone. I resume walking backwards, beginning to take great delight in something so puny. The pest advances, reminding me of his ability to multiply one stick by two as he taps each on both fences to his sides. He’s insistent on getting under my skin.
The fences shield us from what lies in the outer darkness surrounding this sunken court. I truly have seen what nightmares are made of in the eyes of the lizard. God sent the lizards, with their respective omens, to command man back into submission. The pigs are more of a myth I’d heard through the grapevine from the brotherhood. But I believe they’re out there, circling us as the baptism ritual progresses. Hiding away behind the abundance of wild plants and trees that border these fences.
The pigs and their lizards crave Immortal Jaguar blood, they told us. Soon to be our blood they crave.
Tonight, we’ll be placed in a class system. To join the rest of the brothers who’ve already been initiated into their discrete classes. In becoming a part of something bigger than oneself there’s opposition. Why the brothers label the opposition as pigs with pet lizards and fictionalize the pigs as elephantine in stature is unbeknownst to me. Maybe it’s just pushing their agenda, teaching us to let go of reality. But their accuracy on the lizards when emphasizing the aspect of their monstrosity was spot on.
There’s a frequent wave of insects buzzing that keeps bouncing on and off my exposed lower legs. I’m surprised this rain hasn’t washed them away.
Why’re bugs such imbeciles?
The ones that interrupt my workout when I’m in the prison yard benching and plague me by flying directly into my mouth. My face contorts into the mask of a sour, irked Shar–Pei. I kick the flying insects on my legs wishing I’d worn jeans. I hear my name above the trees creaking and wind howling.
“Koata Califf to platform three!”
The call is an indistinguishable robotic voice from one of the in–made voice amplifiers of the stylized gas masks the Prefects are wearing. Not enough robot to veil the sex of he who spoke out but enough of a twist on his diction to take me out of this world. This is the first major break in silence of the night. My name getting called aloud wasn’t a planned event on the baptism itinerary.
Prefects use the gas masks as their first line of defense against the odorless mercury vapors rising from two levels below. There exists an underground industrial factory where workers use liquid mercury to extract gold from alien computer parts. Workers are restricted from using gas masks down there.
The gas masks are an item reserved for two classes. The Aedile, better known as the groundskeepers’ class, and the Praefectus—a class of eleven men who control the prison. They also make the game a Nihil is to play to determine their class. The results of a Nihil’s gameplay are coded in the tickets we’re carrying on us now. We’re given these tickets after we’ve undergone a saga of four rounds spanning the course of fifteen years. Ultimately, leading to this baptism today where we take on a new, major part of our identity in the Immortal Jaguars’ class system.
I face forward toward the movement of the line. There’re eleven cone–shaped tents glamorized in harlequin black opal enamel. The tents work as booths on a stage. Their color inspiration comes from the rarest black opal gemstone pattern of them all—the harlequin opal. I’ve only seen the stone as one modest oval on a metallic strand. It clasped the neck of a past lover. The piece, worth a little over 15,000 US dollars, came as a gift from her brother on New Year’s Eve. A romantic gesture that made their relationship seem virtually incestuous.
The artists who crafted the tents at the end of this line managed to replicate the harlequin opal’s colors. Colors reminiscent of the great southern lights. On display now with rain sheening the tents’ nylon fabric. An eye–popping light, equivalent to a firefly’s bioluminescence, appears to glow a layer beneath the fabric, though the effect is part of the same nylon sheet.
I focus on a new color with every look I aim at the tents. My eyes route colors I’d not charted in previous glances. Violet welts blue and yellow lacerates green into pieces. The entire color spectrum is exhibited on every tent with scarlet filling the position of the most prominent color in each. That scarlet multicolor is intensified by an underlying Prussian blue. A blue reminder to me that while I’m stuck here for now, I yearn to be back in the ocean surfing. Even when I’m old and ailing, I’ll ignore the doctors, surfing my days away.
To the left of the stage, a raised wine purple flag has the insignia of a white top hat positioned at its center with a ring around it. The wine purple flag droops on a towering black spiral lamp post, curving the image of the white top hat with its wavelike folds. That lamp post has a sculpted jaguar head at both ends. The bottom head is inverted. A bundle of dim, red fairy lights clog their open mouths. Appearing dim because the white prison lights overshadow the red.
I can’t see the facial expressions of the Prefects inside the tents from my spot in line for their gas masks cover but their eyes. Though I doubt they’re as tired as the boys here or as uncomfortable as us. As Nihils, we get antsy one week prior to our baptism while the Prefects have been off in Cozumel, Mexico, this past week celebrating the success of their game. They returned this morning. Now we’re getting wet and they’re in their cozy tents sheltering them from the rain. I’m not complaining. Rain alleviates the sweating my body’s generating from this humid night air.
Each tent is occupied by one coral pink desk and posh chair for a Prefect to sit on. From there they can activate the machines that’ll give the boys ahead of the tents their class. Each class has its own job. Prefects are the only ones permitted by the Caesar to run the machines that’ll reveal an individual’s class. It makes sense since they created the game that determines which class we belong to.
Moving forward, I step on the back end of the boy’s shoes in front of me. A seven–foot gothic–dressed brown boy with long, flat–ironed toxic green hair and black eyeliner looks over his shoulder to see me unblinking. I stand there, buttoned halfway up in my lousily tucked in white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and navy blue cargo shorts. This is my second time agitating this kid. He scowls at me. I’m not looking to entertain his anger, wanting me to show pity for his black platform shoes. He’s not the shah of Iran for me to care. I jog from my spot in line toward the booth I’d been called to, unintentionally brushing some shoulders with mine along the way.
I skip the single file line of twenty boys ahead of me, skipping briskly to the stage. I avoid the boys who glower at me suspiciously. Their ages range from fourteen to eighteen. I’m the only man here. The only man with a real beard. None of that stubble kids get in high school. My beard is thick, dirty, and black like my existing grubby hat hair. I’ve kept it untrimmed because it took months to grow. Never thought I’d grow this scraggly beard in my teens, but I guess some guys are genetically set to grow a beard in their thirties. As is the case with me now at thirty–two.
I began my journey into the Immortal Jaguars when I was seventeen. Late when compared to the boys in line who at the earliest must’ve begun the Prefect’s drawn–out game a year before they were born. A concept that defies biology and reality as we know it. My experience here has challenged the very fabric of time and existence therefore, while this concept is evidently absurd, I know all to be possible, even if it defies the fundamental laws of our known reality. Perhaps they studied subjects like cosmic calculus or prenatal poetry in their mom’s belly. Nevertheless, my age has gained me more infamy than friends throughout the years. I’m the old guy no one looks up to and people despise. I don’t fit in with my own. I admit that.
At the end of the day, yesterday, I was a Nihil and not fitting in would’ve rattled me but by the end of the day today, I’ll have a place among a class that’ll hopefully welcome me as one of their own.
I exit the narrow pathway to the stage as the fences come to an end. Where the fences end is a protective force field that encloses the stage and some of the surrounding forest land within it. Thousands of sensors are hidden by shrub palms on a circular path around the stage. The only sign of their existence comes from the deep, pink glow they cast inconsistently through breaks in the palms. Their shape echoes a referee’s whistle. I got a close look at one when they were setting up the stage.
How the force field works is these sensors, when triggered by say an explosion, a bullet, or even a bird flying by, will signal a laser closer to the stage to heat up that section of air, producing a plasma guard. The plasma has the adequate temperature and density to deflect and absorb any impact from the sensed threat. One monkey made the mistake of knuckle–walking too close to the stage when the tents were erected, and the defense system activated. Its slip has taught the rest of local wildlife a lesson. A reason to exercise extreme caution near mankind.
I make a left and belt to the side of the stage, splashing through two puddles along the way. The staircase to the stage is uncommonly steep. It could be exchanged for a ladder perpendicular to the ground and that’d offer up the same challenge in climbing this staircase. I walk up the metal steps and slip on the second to last, catching myself on the stair railing. I increase my grip on the plastic ticket with my free hand as one sandal slides from my foot. I grouchily pick it back up with my big toe and let it ease itself back into its job.
Prevailing over the short interruption, I follow the stair path up to my destiny. From metal steps to an ash timber stage plucked from a construction site, I pass two boys standing by their tents with apathetic reactions to their results. I arrive at the third booth and look to both ends in the line of cone tents.
The eleven tents are lofty traditional teepees held up with a single black pole inside them at their center. There’s a burgundy sitting jaguar statue on my far right occupying the space in between tent ten and tent eleven. Internally it’s composed of cast iron and stainless steel. Its height and width mirror the tents’. Between all the other tents there’s nothing but a space. I put myself mentally in between all those tents.
I am nothing. I’m a Nihil.
It’s common practice to rid oneself of their identity and of the memory of their physical form before accepting their new lives within the Immortal Jaguars. We’re forbidden from seeing ourselves in a mirror till after the baptism as a result.
The tents’ sturdy nylon framework splits at its front, bottom up from the stage to make an entrance. When unopened this morning they looked like exquisite curtains before a fortune teller’s parlor but have now had their bottom ends pulled apart making their triangular opening present. From the wide opening comes a clear savor of cinnamon and pine. Vertical fabric folds mold themselves onto the tents resulting from the pressure of the two silver nails holding each tent open. The silver nails are punctured into the thick tents themselves and go through the stage.
There’re cubed dark green crates a few inches outside the entrance to the tents. Their coloration comes from the moss that’s devoured the crates whole. A light green in the sun, the moss takes on a dark hue at night; made darker tonight as it’s dampened by rain. The cubes are meant to be used as platforms for the Nihils to stand on so we’re at eye level with the Prefects. Their chairs and desks have been so highly raised as if to underscore their prominence over us.
Around the floor of platform three lie scattered silver nails. I take one big step onto my platform, two feet off the stage, and immediately sense it’s hollow. Looking to my feet, I see the dark green moss and wood surface caked in the same five–inch nails. Some are twisted from being hammered into the wood the wrong way, from their sides. Others lay flat, yet to be hammered in, waiting to afflict pain onto any who might be barefoot.
I’ve white rubber sandals on that slide in with two straps in the middle. They come without a back strap, but their deep heel cups keep my feet in place. I relate their comfort to the likeness of being barefoot, so I feel uncomfortable with the silver nails around me itching to strike my feet.
I hear the cry of winding water above the serene rain. Between my feet there’s a break in the crate. Below the fracture, I see a crescent hole in the stage. The nails that once pierced the stage were probably meant to keep the floorboards intact but failed. I catch a glimpse of circular capillary waves inside the hole. Waves flow below me. I, a notable elevation above them, calm myself with their sound. I take a deep breath and am soothed by its smooth release. I lift my head to face the Prefect sitting in front of me.
“When ready,” the masked man speaks with his robotic voice generator volume lowered to a more intimate level.
I’ve been allowed to cut the line of my fellow Nihils for a reason. The two eyes behind this Prefect’s gas mask appear to be that of David—my chosen herald. He stares me down through the clear dual eye–openings of his gas mask. He’s the only person I’ve ever met to have heterochromia. His left eye is a deep blue, and his right eye is a light green. He let me skip the line. Late, as I only had twenty boys ahead of me when my name was called but he’s kept his word. Now he just has to keep true to the second part of our bargain in placing me in the Quaestor class. My cheeks suffuse with color once I’m sure it’s him.
My face shows promise in how I’ll repay him by tracking down Tommy, but we’ve been instructed not to speak throughout the duration of our baptism. Mainly to avoid or to at least limit the excess inhaling of mercury fumes from the underground factory. Reason two of two for the silence of tonight with an exemption for the occasional howling monkey and this mild rain resonating across the prison yard.
David’s in a Prefect’s chair despite a Prefect baptizing the role of his life Mercury. Not the element that I’m momentarily breathing in but like the patron messenger god of Ancient Rome, David’s job is to deliver messages. He’s disguised himself as a Prefect, in a Prefect’s seat according to an agreement we discussed during round three of my gameplay. The agreement was, I get my desired class in this fraternity in exchange for bringing him an escaped prisoner.
Prisoner 1313. The boy named Tommy. A supposed commander in chief of the opposition or pigs as they’ve notoriously come to be called. Tommy’s the biggest pig of them all and the first name that’d come to mind if the Immortal Jaguars had a list for most wanted.
Skipping the line and getting this process over with means I’ll soon be able to avenge a dear friend who was left on the outside. The friend in question is Ramze. In the Quaestor class I’ll have the financial oversight in a mission to find Ramze and clear his name. I lost that friend to the pigs in the cloud forest long ago. He was kidnapped by them. The Governor class record shows he’s one of them, but I can’t believe that. Their evidence is tainted. Becoming a Quaestor is my only chance of getting my friend back.
David’s gas mask is made of faux leather, hand–painted black with the brass and copper fittings consisting of valves, straps, hoses, and a bronze zipper straight down the front of his gas mask. The zipper ends at the mouth, firmly locked to a copper hose that twirls down to an air filter. The metal canister holding the activated charcoal that filters air is a broad tin cylinder, about seven inches tall, sitting on the right side of the high desk within the tent.
David’s behind the coral pink desk on a royal blue chair with an exaggerated tall back. He has black rubber gloves on each hand and is wearing a cardinal red hazmat suit. The black pole holding the tent up stands erect from behind his chair.
“Ready,” I voice quietly.
His left hand makes tapping sounds from his fingers bouncing on the surface of the desk. The tapping breaks out into the furious gallop of a horse. His right hand slowly makes its way to the golden call bell at the center of his desk. My heartbeat imitates his left hand and then slows itself with the unnecessary suspense of his right hand.
With a single finger, he dings the bell and my heart calms. This is my signal to enter my ticket into the machine inside his desk. He then props his chin on the palm of his right hand, waiting. The desk has a slim rectangular opening for the ticket to slide into, leveled at my waist. I push the ticket midway into the slot and the rest of it’s swallowed into the machine.
The grating noise of the machine within David’s desk is like the distant echo of metal on metal, faintly audible unless you’re within arm’s reach of the source. Thankfully it ends in three seconds with a click. A hidden compartment opens out from the front right side of the desk releasing an odd aroma of a rustic old cabin and cheaply scented deodorant soap. It’s an empty drawer with a matte silver interior that burst forward. The machine extrudes a round white gold gear with square teeth along its side and the image of a top hat imprinted on the face of it. The size of a silver dollar, I take it quickly from the drawer longing to see the word on its tail end.
The drawer retreats inside its cubby and I notice the square outline of it on the desk. I’d previously thought the gear, which is meant to be part of a larger apparatus, would be handed over to us personally by the Caesar. The highest class and the only class with one position. The chair of this organization. Had it been the case the chair handed us our result, this agreement between David and I would’ve never worked.
Moment of recognition for all my assumed hard work these past fifteen years. My results are in. I’m a… I pause in suspicion holding the gear between my thumb and index finger.
“Plebeian?”