The Militants

1969

Characters

Dr. Bolillo

Chicano #1

Chicano #2

A Gabacho enters and approachoes the microphone.

GABACHO: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I am Dr. Bolillo and I am here to welcome you to the University of California’s lecture series. We are very pleased to bring you an especially delightful speaker this evening. He is a well known member of the Mexican-American community, a rapper and most importantly, a militant. He has kindly consented to come here tonight and “tell it like it is.” It is with great pleasure, therefore, that I now introduce this young man who is going to come out here and “sock it to us.” His name is Benjamin Dejo — Ben Dejo! Let’s give him a big hand. (Applause.) Ben? (Two Chicano militants enter. The GABACHO only sees one of them. He shakes his hand. The other militant taps him on the shoulder. Turning.) Oh, another one. Well, there must be some mistake. We only asked for one. Which one of you is Ben Dejo? (Both militants step forward.) I see. Okay. Well, sit down while we settle this. (They sit down.) Will the real militant Ben Dejo please rise? (Both rise.) Gentlemen, I tell you what we are going to do. We’re going to allow you both to speak. So that means that you are going to have to be Chicano #1 and you, Chicano #2. Okay? (Militants agree.) The floor is yours.

CHICANO #1: (To CHICANO #2.) Orale, ese, vamos a darles en la madre, ¿eh?

CHICANO #2: That’s together, sock it to ‘em. (They do the chicano handshake.)

CHICANO #1: (At the microphone.) Señoras y señores, ladies and gentlemen, and Anglos.

GABACHO: (From his chair.) Oh, that was good. Good start!

CHICANO #1: I didn’t come here tonight to beat around the bush, so I’m not going to do it. I come here to tell you the truth. Our people are starving in the barrios and slaving in the fields for starvation wages. You know how come? Because of the oppression and economic exploitation that Anglo growers and businessmen have imposed upon us. So long as these damn Anglos have all the economic and political power to control us, we’re going to be at the bottom of the barrel. We’ve got to get together and organize. Unite! Strike! We’ve got to march to Sacramento like César Chávez! Demand better wages, better schools, better jobs. ¡Viva la huelga! ¡Viva la causa!

CHICANO #2: Raza! I’ve come here tonight to tell you where it’s at. I agree with everything the carnal here had to say, but now I’m going to tell you what’s really happening. Our Raza is starving in the barrios and slaving in the fields for starvation wages. You know how come? Because of the oppression and economic exploitation of this gringo sitting right here! This gabacho!

GABACHO: That’s me. I admit it. (Beats his chest.)

CHICANO #2: My non-violent carnal means well, but we gotta do more than march! We’ve got to drive the gabacho out of the barrio! ¡Viva la huelga! ¡Viva la causa! ¡Viva la raza!

GABACHO: ¡Viva! Sock it to me, baby!

CHICANO #1: Okay. I agree with everything my carnal had to say, only a lot more. When I said march to Sacramento, that didn’t mean I’m non-violent. Non-violence works, sure, but to a limit. What my carnal over there was afriad to say was that we need guns! Simón, I’m not afraid to say it! ¡Armas! ¡Rifles! ¡Pistolas! We’ve got to drive the gabacho out of the barrios with guns! ¡Viva la huelga! ¡Vivalacuasa! ¡Viva la raza! ¡Viva la Revolución!

CHICANO #2: Revolución, sure! That’s together. But_t baby, let me tell you that guns ain’t the only thing that’s going to make a revolución! The trouble with you is that you’ve lost contact with the barrio! Look at our history, at Pancho Villa, Emiliano Zapata—they had what it takes! And what was that? What is that pair of something every macho has in the barrio? That makes every real revolutionary willing to die at any moment? Like me, I’m willing to die! Any pigs in the audience? Kill me! Go on, I’m ready! Kill me! I’m not afraid, because I know what it takes: a good pair of . . . bigotes! ¡Viva la huelga! ¡Viva la Causa! ¡Viva la raza! ¡Viva la revolución! ¡Vivan los bigotes!!!

CHICANO #1: What bigotes, ese, you can’t even grow one! At least I got an excuse. If I’ve lost contact with the barrio, it’s because I’m part of the vanguard. We’re more Chicano than anybody in the Southwest, I mean, Aztlán! We think, breathe, feel, eat and dress Chicano! See this shirt! It’s a Chicano shirt. Camisas, manlisas! That’s where it’s at! ¡Viva la raza! ¡Viva la revolución! ¡Vivan los bigotes! ¡Vivan las camisas!

CHICANO #2: Sure, camisas! But is that all you’re going to wear when you go to the mountains? Che Guevara said an army should take care of its feet. What about your feet, man? You got gabacho shoes on! I’m a 100% Chicano myself, because I got soul, baby! I’m a righteous Chicano! Some body says viva la raza, I say right on, baby! Soembody says viva la causa, I’m hep, brother. That’s how come I say you’re fulla shit. Sure we need camisas, but you forgot to mention huaraches! ¡Vivan los bigotes! ¡Vivan las camisas! ¡Vivan los huaraches!

CHICANO #1: Bullshit, you’re misleading the people! You’re too...

CHICANO #2: Too militant? Simón, I’m militant. I’m so militant I scare myself.

CHICANO #1: With that pig face, I believe it.

CHICANO #2: What about you, cara de culo?

CHICANO #1: Puto!

CHICANO #2: Cabrón! (They pull out cuetes and shoot each other. They fall dead. GABACHO comes to the microphone.)

GAVACHO: Ladies and gentlemen, I believe the lecture is concluded. (Looks down.) I feel so guilty. (Laughs.) Guilty. (Exits laughing uproarously.)