Two days later Jessie felt more energized than she had in weeks. She threw herself into work, trying to take back her life as best she could. That wasn’t going to be an easy task. If home seemed strange, work wasn’t all that comforting, either. Even the faces weren’t all the same. They’d hired a new department secretary just before she’d left and she still didn’t know the woman. Then there were classes to teach, papers to grade and students to talk to. She tried not to scoff at any of their crises, which seemed so petty after what she’d gone through lately. She had to keep reminding herself that for these community college students, the problems they brought to her were major things.
After she thought about it for a while she realized that what she’d gone through could make her a better teacher and a more sympathetic mentor if she let it. That made her want to call Steve Gardner and ask him more about the things that seemed to give him the compassion he showed her. What might he have gone through that made him that vigilant and caring at the same time? And how much of it had to do with that faith he exhibited? For the first time in her adult life someone had her wondering if maybe belief in God was something more than just superstition and a crutch for people to lean on. It didn’t look that way for Steve. Before she could give the matter any more thought her cell phone rang.
When she saw who was calling the hairs on the back of her neck rose. It took another ring for her to compose herself. “Hello?” Jessie held her breath, reminding herself that the county sheriff’s office had lots of employees and one of them besides Steve could be calling her.
“Hi. Jessie?” Steve’s familiar voice made her remember to breathe.
“Hi, Steve. That’s so uncanny. I was thinking of you when my phone rang. What’s up? Have you heard anything new about Laura?”
“No, but something else has come up that I need to talk to you about. Would you have time this afternoon?”
“I can make time.” Jessie looked at her planner, trying to figure out where she could juggle an hour or so. “My last class is over at three-thirty. And being a college campus, there’s no shortage of coffeehouses around here. Would meeting in one of them be all right?”
“Sure.” They settled on a time and place, leaving Jessie slightly distracted for the rest of her day wondering what Steve had to say. She got to the coffee shop before he did, and settled in with a mocha, splurging on whipped cream for the top. Normally she didn’t go for that many calories but she hadn’t been eating much lately. Eating almost every meal by herself was lonely business.
She’d only had a couple of sips when Steve walked in. She hadn’t seen him for a little while and was struck by how handsome he looked, even in his deputy’s uniform. She wondered if they’d ever be in a situation where he would come into a room where she was and he’d be smiling. So far he’d had little to smile about when he’d been around her, and today didn’t seem to be different.
He looked around the room and saw Jessie at her corner table. Walking over he stood by the well-worn wooden chair and the briefest of smiles played around his face then vanished. “Once this is all over, we have got to meet under better circumstances at least once,” he said, echoing her thoughts.
Jessie nodded. “You’re right. Do you want to get something hot before you sit down? If I’d known what you wanted I would have just ordered for you.”
“I’m not picky. You could get me just about anything that has coffee in it and I’d be happy. After a few years of some of the stuff they pass off as coffee at the department, if it’s black and hot I’ll drink it.”
Jessie shuddered, making him grin for a second. “Not me. I’ve even taken to bringing coffee to work so that we can have something besides what the college will supply. Their budget doesn’t allow for anything special.” She gave a quiet laugh. “Laura says…” and then she faltered thinking about her sister.
Steve sat down quickly. “Go on, Jessie. Tell me what Laura says. If it’s in my power to do it, I’ll see that she can tell me herself someday but I want to hear it now.” He took her hand to encourage her and Jessie fought the urge to give in to tears.
“Okay. Laura says we’re all just too silly with the coffee craze. She’s a tea drinker, and her favorite is that neon-green Japanese stuff that I think tastes like burned grass.”
“Matcha,” Steve said solemnly. “I don’t really care for it, either, but it’s a nice color.” He rose from the chair. “I’ll get myself a plain old coffee and be back in a minute.” He did just that. Jessie gave him a minute or two to get his thoughts collected and drink some of his coffee while it was still hot.
“You said you needed to talk to me, and that there was nothing new about Laura. Were you telling me the truth, or is it just something too bad to tell me over the phone?”
Steve’s eyes darkened. “I won’t lie to you, Jessie, ever. And I don’t sugarcoat things, either. If I’d known something bad about Laura I would have called you to warn you and then come over myself to tell you the news.”
Obviously, she’d touched a nerve. “Okay. For now that’s reassuring. But what is it that you want to tell me?” It had to be about her mother, she reasoned. That or perhaps a lead on Adrian’s whereabouts, but Jessie figured that was the least important thing Steve could tell her.
He took a deep breath and drank a little more of his coffee. “Well, you see it’s like this. Finding out that Laura wasn’t the one who died in the hospital was a good thing. And finding out that it was your mother who actually died was a good thing in most ways. But it brings up a really rotten part of department policy that I can’t get around.”
“What is that?” Jessie racked her brain, trying to come up with something that might make the deputy this uncomfortable.
He looked down at the table. “Once a person is identified, they are no longer the final responsibility of the county. If a family member is located, that person becomes the responsible party.”
Jessie sat back in her chair, realizing why Steve looked downcast. “Meaning that when you’re done with my mother’s body, I’ll have to deal with it, right?”
Steve nodded. “You’re right. When I found out that the department was going to notify you of that through the regular channels via the medical examiner, I told the head of the detective bureau that I’d do it myself. I feel like I have a stake in this case and it seemed right.” He smiled in a way that made him look more woeful than happy. “It’s my first official act as a detective. The paperwork went through finally and I got the full promotion. Starting next week I’ll be plainclothes.”
“I’m glad you got your promotion,” Jessie said, meaning every word she said. “I’m only sorry that you had to come over here and tell me this as your first assignment as a detective. I appreciate you coming in person to do it, though. This whole experience has been so surreal.”
She took a sip of her cooling mocha. “It seems really unfair. I never got to know my mother as an adult, and now I have to say goodbye to her before I ever had a chance to say hello.”
“It does seem wrong somehow. Especially when we have no idea where she came from before she ended up here in St. Charles. It would help to know if she had insurance somewhere, or family you didn’t know about. She could have an entire life under a different name and we have no way of knowing.”
“I take it that means that you’ve used all the fancy tools at your disposal to check her out and prove she had no criminal record, no ties anywhere and her fingerprints didn’t show up under some other name in any of your databases.”
He gave her an assessing look. “You know all the tricks, don’t you? What did you say your teaching specialty was again?”
“Popular culture, especially urban legends. I’m one of those people that don’t believe anything until somebody can prove it to me. To be able to disprove stories, you have to know how to check them out.”
“Wow. I’ll have to remember to keep you in my file even when this case is finished. I could use a source that knowledgeable in a lot of my work.” Steve smiled, and this time it looked real. “Of course, I would like to keep you in my file for a lot of reasons. Department regulations are very strict about involvement with anyone who’s part of an open case. I want to wrap up all the loose ends on this one as soon as possible.”
Jessie was about to tell him how kind that was, but then she realized that Detective Gardner wasn’t just being kind to her in his wish to wrap this all up. He was hinting that he wanted to go out with her after he closed the case. Suddenly her face felt warmer than the cup in her hand. She was being flirted with, and if the truth be told, it was a flattering feeling.
After a brief moment, though, reality drew her back down to business. No matter how flattering it was to have Steve show a personal interest in her, they had plenty of problems to deal with before they could do anything about that. “I’ve never had to plan a funeral or a memorial service before. Until last week I would have said Laura was my only family in the world, so I’ve never given any thought to something like this.”
“Would you like some help? I could put you in touch with somebody from my church, or if you’d rather have someone else, you could talk to the hospital chaplain and see what he or she recommends.”
Jessie considered her options. Even though she didn’t have much in the way of religious leanings herself, she had no idea what her mother might have wanted. She tried to remember anything she might have said when they were children, but absolutely nothing came to mind. They had celebrated holidays in traditional, secular ways: Santa Claus at Christmas, the Easter bunny bringing eggs, and perhaps a quick moment at Thanksgiving dinner to say what they were thankful for, nothing more.
“Do you think you could help me yourself? This all seems to come much more naturally to you, and I have no idea what my mother would have wanted.” Jessie didn’t usually say something that impulsively, but with Steve she’d been a different person from the first moment. “It’s not like there will be anybody else at whatever I plan anyway.”
“Unless someone out there is looking for your mother the way we’re looking for Laura,” he said, taking her aback. “It’s not terribly likely, but we have to consider that. And yes, I can help you plan some kind of memorial for your mother. I still think we ought to have a little help from someone. Is it all right if I call a friend at the hospital to help with the planning?”
Jessie nodded, the whole conversation with its emotional roller-coaster ride was beginning to leave her drained. “Sure. As I said, I’ve never done anything like this before. For once I’ll take all the help I can get.”
When Steve introduced Jessie to Rachel two days later, he didn’t realize his mistake until it was too late. Jessie was abrupt and chilly the moment she laid eyes on Rachel and he couldn’t figure out why until he looked at her from Jessie’s viewpoint. When he looked at Rachel he just saw a friend from Bible study at church who cared about people and loved the Lord. Jessie didn’t know any of that, and more than likely saw her as a pretty redhead with a warm smile and an easy familiarity with Steve.
Someday, Steve told himself, you’re going to have to learn how women think. His mother would probably tell him that if that hadn’t happened for him yet at the ripe old age of thirty-four, it wasn’t going to happen. But then she continually held out hope that one day he’d show up on her front porch with a woman in tow, so maybe she hadn’t totally given up on him yet. Where did a guy learn how to think like one of these fascinating but confusing creatures? Certainly not at the police academy.
His musings stopped as he listened to the conversation between Jessie and Rachel, which was primarily one-sided. “Steve knows that I do a lot of service planning at my job and I appreciate him thinking of me to help you with this. He hasn’t told me much about the situation, only that it was a bit unusual.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” Jessie still looked suspicious, her arms crossed over her chest. “What is it you said you do again?”
“I work for Mercy Hospital as a family liaison and grief support specialist.”
“You’re a social worker,” Jessie said bluntly, looking back and forth between Steve and Rachel.
“Not exactly,” Rachel said slowly. “And his asking me to help out doesn’t mean I’m acting for the hospital. I’m just doing this as a friend.” She reached over and gave Steve a quick pat on the arm, and he could see Jessie watch the motion and tense up even more.
“I see.” Her voice sounded chilly. Steve knew he needed to do something, but he wasn’t sure what to say to put things back on the right track. He breathed a quick, fervent prayer asking for guidance and help in this situation, knowing that his own skills were woefully inadequate at the present.
Rachel’s warm laugh flooded him with a feeling of calm. “You sound suspicious, but it’s not like that at all. I owe this guy a lot. He introduced me to the man I’m going to marry, and he even slowed the guy down long enough for me to catch him.”
“Oh, now you’re going to start telling stories on me,” he complained. “Don’t listen to everything she says, Jessie. I’m not that aggressive on the softball field, and Pastor Tom is the only guy I’ve ever put on the disabled list, honest.”
Jessie’s eyes widened and Rachel’s laugh grew even warmer. “He ran into a player on the opposing team who was trying to steal home. I don’t think he meant to knock the wind out of Tom as hard as he did, but I’m giving Steve the benefit of the doubt. Tom’s ankle puffed up almost immediately and since I was already warming the bench and worked at the closest hospital, I got elected to take him to the emergency room. It was a busy night there, we talked a lot, and the rest, as they say, was history.”
“Yeah, and now we’re probably going to lose her at our church when she marries Tom because he’s still the youth pastor at a big church across town.”
“What we do for love,” Rachel said with a sigh. “But I’m being way too cheerful when I’m supposed to be here to help you work out something serious.” She motioned to the hall that Steve knew led back away from this common area to Jessie’s private office in the history department. “Do you want to go somewhere that we can sit and talk quietly?”
Jessie’s whole posture had changed. She still looked solemn and somewhat worn, but the tight, defensive stance was gone. “I’d like that. Is it okay if Steve comes back with us? That is, if he has time.”
“I’ve got time. And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Steve assured her, following the women down the short hall past the empty secretary’s desk into Jessie’s office. He sent up another silent prayer, this time in thanks.
As they walked, a verse from Ephesians from the last Bible study he’d done with Rachel and others from their singles class at church a few weeks before echoed in his mind:
Now all glory to God, Who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Amen to that, he thought. This awkward start to a situation turned out far better than he ever could have accomplished alone.
After about twenty minutes of discussion to fill Rachel in on more of the situation, they started talking about what kind of memorial might be appropriate for Jessie’s mother. “I wish we could just wait until Laura was back home, safe and sound but we still can’t count on that,” Jessie said quietly.
“This would be a lot easier if you had your sister’s help, wouldn’t it? I know I can’t be any kind of substitute for her help, but I can at least point you toward some resources.” Again Steve gave thanks for Rachel and her calm demeanor. She was just the right person to support Jessie now that they’d gotten the personal tensions out of the way. Rachel had real gifts for helping people and they came through in almost everything she did.
“You’re right.” Jessie pushed a folder of papers around on her desk. “This would be a lot easier if I had Laura’s help. At least I wouldn’t have to do everything, and there would be somebody who could really understand what I’m going through.”
“There’s already somebody who understands, Jessie, but you might not want to hear about it now. If you want to learn about what Jesus went through just for you, and how He stands by you no matter what’s going on, promise you’ll ask me, or Steve.” He sat there amazed that Rachel had found the perfect opportunity to do what he’d been too reluctant to do so far.
Even more surprising was Jessie’s reaction. “I’ll do that. I’m not ready today, but seeing what you and Steve have is making me ask a lot of questions.”
“Cool. Is it okay if I pray for you, and your sister?”
Jessie smiled briefly. “Yes. I’d like that.”
God’s power was at work all over this situation, Steve thought. He wondered what the Lord had in store for them next.