In the end there were only four people at the grave-side six days later when they buried her mother. Steve’s friend Rachel stayed with them, just the way she promised she would, and she listened as her fiancé spoke a few words there. Jessie wasn’t sure what she’d expected Tom to be, but he seemed perfectly ordinary and quite pleasant, with boyish good looks and sparkling eyes. They had talked twice before the memorial service and she was impressed by his friendliness and approachability.
Jessie thought he was probably very good at working with teens and she told him so. His answering smile was a little shy and she could see why he and Rachel made a good couple. She was still mystified by their ability to believe so wholeheartedly in God when there just wasn’t any proof of His existence. For as long as she could remember she had relied on those things she could prove but now there were fewer and fewer of them every day.
Steve stood beside Jessie, just close enough that she could reach out if she needed to touch him. For a while she thought she’d be all right alone, but then Tom began the quiet words of ritual and everything got to her at once. Standing there in the chill in her dark clothing she couldn’t take it all in. In her ignorance she’d thought the words “ashes to ashes, dust to dust” were part of the Bible until Tom gently told her otherwise. They still seemed fitting, the right thing to be said over the remains of this mother who remained a mystery to her.
Anger and resentment welled up in her that she had to do this by herself. Even after talking to Rachel she still felt that Laura should be here to help her deal with this, to make sense of it all. Rachel had been totally right about one thing: nobody else could possibly understand it all the same way that her sister would. Jessie found herself holding tightly to Steve’s hand as hot tears ran down her cheeks.
Steve reached into the pocket of his dark pants with the hand that wasn’t holding Jessie’s and got a white handkerchief, handing it to her. She wiped away the tears, looking at him while she thought. All three people standing here on this hill in the cool fall air claimed to believe in a loving God Who guided them through life. How could they possibly believe that? Where was any evidence of that loving God in this situation? Jessie felt too confused to even ask the question out loud as Tom finished his words and she said goodbye to a mother she’d never really known.
Cassidy hid behind a couple of cheap pots of ivy and a trowel, silently bemoaning the state of modern cemeteries. They were just too tidy, with no large trees to use for any kind of surveillance. Watching Jessica and her pet deputy meant going to a lot of trouble to blend into the scenery. First there was a neglected grave to pick out near Dawn’s burial site, and clothes to buy to look like a relative caring for the grave.
The death notice in the paper had caused a great deal of consternation for Cassidy. They’d figured out Dawn’s identity quickly, and the obituary had raised questions. Had it been a try at drawing the murderer out in the open, or truly the work of a grieving daughter? The lack of a crowd at least said that the media hadn’t caught wind of the fact that a woman who’d been missing and presumed dead for over twenty years had surfaced, only to die for real.
This time Cassidy had taken the coward’s way out and forwarded Patrick a link to the newspaper’s obituary Web site, using the agreed upon e-mail address no one could trace to Patrick. This made for one less incendiary phone conversation, but left Cassidy in dread of the call Patrick was sure to make soon in response.
The young minister droned on. What on earth could he possibly say for this long about a total stranger? Finally he stopped rambling and closed his prayer book, or whatever it was. The young woman with him distributed hugs all around like party favors and the pair left, leaving Jessica and the deputy next to a mound of bare, disturbed earth. Jessica hadn’t gone to a lot of trouble with this funeral, Cassidy thought, apparently wanting to get things over with quickly and cheaply. Why hadn’t she just had the body cremated? It was even cheaper and destroyed a lot of evidence.
The light wind blew in the wrong direction for Cassidy to catch all of the conversation between the deputy and Jessica. Still, bits and pieces helped tell the story. “…back to work?” the man asked Jessica. I’m going to insist we have something to eat first.”
If he’d just leave her alone for a few days, this whole mess would be easy to fix. A depressed, dis traught woman with a history of instability could hardly be faulted for taking her own life. And once Jessica Barker was gone, the last loose end would be tied up. Even Patrick would have nothing to complain about then.
Jessie sat across the table from Steve, wondering if letting him take her to lunch was a mistake. If Rachel and Tom had been with them it might have felt more like the end of a memorial service for her mother. But they had gone back to work at the church and the hospital, and Steve insisted that she wasn’t going anywhere without eating first. Maybe she did look as peaked as he claimed. She felt drained enough that it was possible.
She knew she looked awful. The dark blue outfit she wore only emphasized the paleness of her skin and the damp chill in the air flattened her hair even more than usual. Her eyes were probably pink from crying, and she just felt emotionally bruised somehow. But the place he took her for lunch changed her mood from the moment they’d walked into its warmth and coziness.
“Okay, I’ve worked at the community college for four years, and I end up rotating between the cafeteria and three other places nearby. How did I miss this one?”
Steve smiled. “I don’t know. Maybe you got yourself into a rut. Or maybe you judge a little more by appearances than you think you did.”
“You could be right,” Jessie admitted. “I’ve probably walked or driven past this place a few dozen times, and from the outside it doesn’t look like much.” The plain brick front of the building, with its standard plate glass windows appeared nondescript. Most of the neighboring businesses weren’t the restaurants or antique shops that dotted this part of town, but more everyday concerns like a copy shop and a store that sold lighting.
“I have a little advantage on this one,” Steve said. “Miss Ella the owner has a couple of department connections. Her late husband was a deputy and her daughter is one of our best dispatchers. So I might have been here a time or two.”
“Still, I’ve got to thank you for expanding my horizons.” The homey atmosphere inside the café made Jessie lean back in her chair and relax more than she thought she could today. The pot of hot tea sending up a little steam in front of her had almost steeped long enough to pour, and Ella had already been over once to fuss over Steve and make sure he didn’t need a warm-up on coffee already.
The sixtyish-looking café owner looked as if she could be in a commercial for almost anything that came out of a good cook’s kitchen, with her neat graying hair, and her flowered skirt and lavender sweater partially hidden with a cheery apron. She’d already declared that Jessie needed some looking after, making her fight back the heat of tears behind her eyelids. She saw Steve’s almost imperceptible shake of the head, and a few moments later when he got up to wash his hands, she noticed that he stopped and had a brief, quiet conversation with Ella.
She was beside Jessie in a moment. “Honey, I’m so sorry. Steve just told me about your mother. I should have kept my opinions to myself,” the older woman said, cheeks flushed. “I forget that not everybody wants or needs my advice.”
Jessie looked down at the table for a little while to collect herself, trying to find the right thing to say. “It’s all right. Really it’s sort of nice to have someone say I might need a little help. My mother wasn’t close to my sister and me, and I appreciate the concern.” No sense in going into details with someone she’d just met. Jessie wondered if her whole personality was somehow undergoing a change. Where was the strong, independent person she’d been since she was six, taking on the world virtually alone?
“Well, you let me know if you need anything else. We’re past the big lunch rush by now and I’ll do anything I can while you’re here.” Ella patted her softly on the shoulder and was gone before Steve came back to the table.
He slid back into his seat, brow wrinkled slightly in concern. “Everything okay? I know Ella can be a little bit overwhelming at times, but she’s got a good heart.”
“It’s fine. And I don’t really find her overwhelming. As you said, she obviously cares about people. In a way it’s nice to have someone care a little about me. I’m used to being pretty independent.”
“Being that way is great most of the time.” Steve poured a bit of cream from the pitcher on the table into his coffee. “But when you’re facing something like the challenges you’ve got in your life right now, independence can get in the way.”
“I never believed that before but now I’m beginning to find that out. I miss Laura so much. Before she disappeared I would have said I was the responsible one who took care of everything. Now that I’m alone I’m aware of just how much my sister did for the two of us.” Jessie could feel unshed tears building up again. This was just so unlike her. She expected Steve to be uncomfortable, but instead he merely reached into a pocket and pulled out his now-rumpled handkerchief.
“I’ve given this to you twice today when I was afraid I’d need this myself. I’ve gotten so deeply involved in this case that I didn’t know how hearing Tom say a few words at the cemetery was going to affect me.”
“Wow. That’s the last thing I expected to hear from a seasoned law enforcement officer like you.” She took the cotton square and used it to wipe her eyes. “I thought they taught you to stay detached from just about anything.”
Steve shrugged. “They do. And normally I can stay that way. But something about sitting with you when we still thought that was Laura at the hospital got me involved in this case. Probably more involved than I should be, but it’s a little late to change that now even if I wanted to.”
Jessie felt her heart thump in her chest. “Does that mean you want to stay involved? And do you mean just with the case, or with me or…I don’t think I know what I mean right now. Why don’t we just eat lunch?” The relief she felt as Ella brought their bowls of vegetable soup and warm homemade rolls was all out of proportion to the event.
Steve bowed his head and she realized he was probably saying grace over his food. Jessie felt thankful for the silence and the distraction from her foolish remark. The silence continued for a few minutes as they ate lunch. After a while Steve looked across the table at her and smiled. “So, do you want me to try to answer that convoluted set of questions or not?”
“I think not,” Jessie said, aware of the bright pink flush to her cheeks that had nothing to do with the hot soup she was eating. “Let’s just enjoy lunch together first and talk later.”
“If you say so.” Steve reached for the bread basket between them. “I’m hungry enough to stay quiet and eat Ella’s good cooking.” He ate his lunch, looking over at Jessie every so often.
“I have to imagine that this is the kind of place that has two or three different kinds of pie, all home baked,” she said when she’d finished her soup. She wasn’t all that hungry, but talking about dessert might distract Steve from finishing the conversation.
“You’re right. This time of year there’s always apple, sometimes pumpkin or sweet potato, and a third kind to round things out unless there’s bread pudding instead.”
“Hmm. If you know the dessert schedule by heart, it sounds like somebody has a sweet tooth,” she said. “I can’t fault you too much because desserts are my weakness, as well.”
“Good. Then I won’t feel guilty getting the apple pie with a scoop of ice cream. Maybe I can talk you into sharing it with me, or getting something of your own that we can split.”
Jessie gave it some thought. “How about we just ask for an extra spoon with yours? I don’t think I could manage more than a few bites at most.”
“Okay. But sometime soon you’re going to have to start eating a little more or I’m going to be worried about you. You’re starting to look a lot thinner than when we met.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” she asked.
“Yes, I’d say so. I’m not all that fond of women looking like supermodels. It just doesn’t look healthy. Even if I weren’t extra concerned about you, I’d say that you could be cruising toward getting sick if you don’t watch out for yourself.” His expression was serious when Jessie had expected him to say something teasing.
She played his words back in her mind as she tried to find the right answer for him. It sounded as though Steve was trying to tell her that she meant more to him than just someone connected with a case. How did she feel about that? She wasn’t quite sure yet, but his concern deserved an answer.
“I almost always stop eating much when I’m upset about something,” she told him. “Usually I’m not in situations where I’d be upset for very long, so it’s not a problem. I mean, most women think they could stand to lose a few pounds. But I’ll watch myself more carefully this time because I don’t have Laura around to worry about me.”
“Yes, and I can’t take over her job. I can’t give you the same kind of care a sister could.”
Jessie grimaced. “Good thing. You just don’t seem like the sisterly type.”
Finally she got a real smile out of Steve. “Thanks. Now how about we get that pie?”
Jessie nodded. Anything, she thought, to stop this conversation before she made an even bigger fool of herself.
Where was all this going? Steve tried to figure out what was happening between him and Jessie as he drove her back to her office at the community college. The tension and what he might describe as chemistry between them pulled a little tauter whenever they spent time together. He found himself wishing that he had a sister to talk this over with.
Maybe Rachel could fulfill that function if he talked to her at church on Sunday. He wasn’t used to having a woman pay attention to him, and he definitely wasn’t used to being this interested in a woman. It was bad enough that she was part of a case he had charge of. Should he think about turning over the case to someone else, or just keep things cool with Jessie until this was finished?
There were problems with either of those choices; he couldn’t turn over the first case he was lead investigator on without causing himself and the department some serious problems. And keeping things on the back burner with Jessie could be pretty difficult when this case could go on for months. For her sake he hoped it ended a lot sooner than that and with her sister back safely. The odds were against that as each day passed, but he wasn’t ready to tell her that yet.
For now just riding together was okay with Jessie looking more relaxed than he had expected her to today. What must it be like to bury a parent you didn’t really know? At least when his father died, Steve had the benefit of a long and mostly good relationship, with few regrets and little unsaid between them. He talked to his mother enough that there weren’t many surprises in their relationship, either. He’d complained growing up that his family was too much like the Cleavers but as he got older he appreciated that more and more.
“Do you want me to walk in with you?” For some reason Steve asked as they pulled up in the community college parking lot.
“Normally I’d say no, but I think this time I’ll let you. Thank you for taking me to lunch. I needed the company today.” He opened the door to the building for her and they went in.
When they got to the lobby area for the history department offices a man stood near the secretary’s desk. Both of them looked up as Steve and Jessie walked in. Something about him put Steve on alert. He wasn’t familiar, but had a look—the dark, conservative suit, white shirt and short ginger hair—that said he was in law enforcement. “That’s Professor Barker,” the woman at the desk said, and the man turned to meet them.
“Jessica Barker? I’m Special Agent Joshua Richards with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We need to talk.”
Steve shouldered his way into the space between the stranger and Jessie. “Steve Gardner, St. Charles County Sheriff’s department. If you wouldn’t mind showing us some identification first…”
“Of course.” The man smiled, but the effort didn’t reach his steel-blue eyes. “Those rumors you’ve heard about lack of cooperation between local authorities and the FBI are blown all out of proportion, Deputy.”
The guy’s placating statement made Steve’s hackles rise even more. “It’s Detective, and in much of my experience they’re right on track, Agent Richards.”
Jessie laid a hand on his shoulder, making him stop the staring contest he and Richards had been involved in. “I’d be satisfied to see your identification, Agent Richards. If you don’t mind…” She trailed off.
Richards reached into the inside pocket of his charcoal jacket and pulled out an ID wallet. Steve looked over Jessie’s shoulder while she examined it. “You really are who you say you are. But I don’t remember seeing your name on the list of people working out of the regional office in St. Louis.”
“That’s because I’m not part of their team,” Richards said, taking his ID back from Jessie. He still acted a little too smooth for Steve’s taste, but perhaps he just felt overly protective of Jessie after what she’d been through.
“So where are you from?” Steve wasn’t sure this FBI agent would tell him anything, but it didn’t hurt to try.
“Virginia. I’m part of a special OC task force and I want Ms. Barker’s permission to do something she’s not going to like.”
“And what would that be?” Jessie’s voice wasn’t nearly as friendly as it had been. It sounded even more wary than it had when she first met Rachel. Steve felt like turning to her and complimenting her for good common sense, but he kept his remarks to himself. No sense in needlessly aggravating a federal officer. Given Richards’s attitude so far there would probably be plenty of opportunities when they couldn’t avoid aggravating him.
“I have an order here to exhume the body of Dawn Barker, in order to prove that she was the woman the task force also recognizes as Paula Brandino.”
Steve watched Jessie’s face. It didn’t show any recognition when Richards mentioned the second name. He, however, felt a cold shock wave that went deep into the pit of his stomach. “Are you for real?” he asked, his mind reeling. If Richards was right, it would mean that Jessie had entangled herself in something much bigger than either of them ever imagined up to this point.
“Yes, Detective, I’m ‘for real’ and so is this court order.” Richards showed him the document.
Jessie put a hand on his arm again. “Steve, do you understand what he’s talking about?”
He struggled to decide where to begin. “I understand what he’s saying. I’m not sure I believe what he’s suggesting. And if he’s right, Jessie, it may not be very good news for Laura.”
“I wouldn’t say that yet, Detective. I can’t tell you everything I know, but if your mother is actually Paula Brandino we might have an explanation for your sister’s disappearance.”
Jessie looked at Steve, confusion written on her face. “What’s he saying? And which one of you is right about Laura?” She turned to Richards. “You need to explain yourself to me. This is my mother and my sister you’re talking about, and I want to know exactly what you think is going on. And until I know I’m not giving my permission for anything.”
Richards’s expression hardened even more. “I don’t need your permission, Ms. Barker. It would be helpful to have your approval but the court order is all I need to exhume the body. I can give you half an hour to try and explain this. After that I need to go to that cemetery and put this court order in motion.”
“So let’s go back in my office, Mr. Richards. I’m going to insist that Detective Gardner join us. He’s been working this case from the beginning and he’s kept me informed every step of the way. I think it’s only fair that he should know whatever you have to tell me.”
Richards’s brow furrowed. “It’s not the way I wanted to do things, but I’d be telling him most of this anyway. Come on back and I’ll tell you as much as I can.”
At least he was honest, Steve thought. The FBI agent didn’t say he was going to tell them all he knew, even now at the beginning. This conversation was likely to produce even more pain and a lot of revelation for Jessie. It would be a good thing for him to be along. He began to gather his wits as they walked down the hall to Jessie’s office. At the same time he started a fervent silent prayer. His own wits weren’t going to be nearly enough to get them through the next half hour.