Aidan woke, but his mind was a disorienting blank slate. He concentrated, going backward into his last memory of Delia. As the images of their time under the tree came into focus, he instantly regretted waking. Everything was heavy, yet hollow at the same time. He wished he could fall back to sleep. You couldn’t feel pain when you slept.
Delia.
It felt as though a hand reached through his ribs, cracking bones to get to his chest. Then one by one each finger squeezed until he could perfectly visualize the five puncture wounds in his heart.
It hurt. Aidan reasoned it would always hurt. But part of him hoped it would vex him forever so that he’d never forget her.
He opened his eyes and slowly sat up on his cot. A blanket was partially covering him.
This last headache had come on so swiftly he didn’t even remember it. There was a kink in his neck that snapped satisfyingly when he tilted his head.
“Ow, galaxy’s sake,” he sighed, moving a hand to the ache in his jaw. He wondered if he had a rotten tooth.
Pushing himself to stand, Aidan ran a hand through his hair a few times, trying to get rid of the tendrils of sleep. On the shelf over his bed, the latest additions to his collection seemed pathetically symbolic. The red berry had dried up, no longer glistening. He picked up the cork and gave it a sniff; at the very least there was a hint of wine.
Boisterous voices echoed from the main room. He checked the time and saw he’d slept through breakfast. He knew there would be ramifications, but he no longer felt the automatic panic. His heart had already been broken beyond repair, and there was nothing they could say to him now that would do any more damage.
He made his way into the kitchen, but instead of facing an irate stepfather, he found all three of his family were huddled around the infoscreen on the kitchen table. It was full of images of Queen Talia.
Aidan squinted over their backs at the monitor. There were new cracks he didn’t remember being there yesterday. With the sound off he scanned the words flowing across the bottom.
PALACE RECEIVES CONDOLENCES FROM ACROSS THE FOUR QUADRANTS OVER DEATH OF QUEEN TALIA …
His sore jaw dropped. Immediately he thought of Delia. Then the stabbing reality that he’d never get to comfort her. He closed his eyes in shame that he left without explaining his true station in life. It was true that he didn’t want to be her secret; he’d only started to be his own person since he’d known her. She’d ignited a sense of justice within him.
Still, he should have told her or at least made it clear that he would always love her. “I’m such a lunk,” he whispered.
At the sound of his voice there was a jolt through the group. Drake moved away a few steps. Morgan faced him for a moment, then made his way to the other side of the table. Only his stepfather showed any signs of wanting to communicate to Aidan.
Corporal Langdon’s eyes were puffy. “Such a horrible loss,” he said. There was a heaviness to his voice. It was the first time Aidan could remember seeing his stepfather compromised emotionally. He didn’t even recall any tears when his own mother died. Then Langdon pushed himself off the chair and pulled Aidan into an embrace.
Frozen with his arms at his sides, he felt the hulking frame of his stepfather tighten around him, then a hard slap on his back. When he stepped back, tears were trailing down his stepfather’s cheeks, disappearing into his substantial beard. “I will never forget this moment,” he said to Aidan.
“Nor will I.” Aidan took a tentative step backward. He could still feel the grip. There was no comfort in the embrace, only the tactile sensation of being too close to a wild animal.
All three continued to stare at him. Aidan put his attention on the infoscreen, wishing they’d yell at him for not having a meal ready.
… OFFICIALLY OPENED TONIGHTÕS FULL MOON FESTIVAL TO ALL … AS A CELEBRATION OF QUEEN TALIA … OUR SHARED JOY OF HER LIFE AND LEGACY WILL BRING COMFORT …
Only when his stepfather blew his nose did Aidan realize he and Drake were dressed in their fitted uniforms. Even their shoes were shined.
“I’ll be paying my condolences in person this afternoon before the ball, a privilege and an honor for all the Queen’s Guard. And Drake here as well.” He slapped his son’s sturdy frame. “We will represent the family in fine fashion.” Then he waved a hand at Aidan and Morgan. “You two don’t exactly blend in with the elite crowd.”
Aidan turned to see how his stepbrother would react to this snub. Usually it was three against one.
Morgan held up a card, stamped with the queen’s official coat of arms. “Then I suppose this invitation to the entire household is a mistake?”
“The household?” Aidan’s heart skipped a beat. “Even me?”
Corporal Langdon and Drake looked him up and down, their noses crinkled. “Do you have anything else to wear?” Drake asked.
“You know I don’t.” Aidan recognized it would be foolish to show up at the palace, but if he had this one last opportunity to tell Delia the truth and to apologize, he’d never forgive himself for not taking the chance.
“That’s too bad,” Drake said.
Morgan stood in a modest outfit with his everyday boots on. Still, it was newer and nicer than anything Aidan owned. He addressed his father. “Everything still set to go?” he asked. “Considering the announcement this morning.”
Drake hissed something back, his face contorted for only a moment, but long enough for Aidan to notice.
The corporal nodded at the invitation. “You may come with us,” he said to Morgan. “But unfortunately, Aidan is booked to work the kitchen this evening. The ball will require all domestic staff to be on hand.” He turned to Aidan. “I’m sorry, I know this will be your only invitation to a royal ball, but it was only symbolic. No one else is bringing their household help.”
Drake didn’t even bother to hide his smirk.
“Come,” Corporal Langdon barked to his sons. He slapped Morgan on the arm with an open hand and motioned to the door.
Drake checked his hair in the reflection of the infoscreen as he walked past. He grinned at Aidan. “Later, little brother.” He faked a punch, but his smirk disappeared when Aidan didn’t flinch. “Junk,” he said under his breath.
The corporal paused at the cottage door. “You may be called on to serve this evening,” he said to Aidan. “If you see us, please don’t acknowledge that we’re family. It would just create an uncomfortable situation.”
The door closed behind them, leaving the cottage quiet.
The gloom set in.
Aidan sat at the kitchen table, staring at the infoscreen, watching image after glamorous image of the royal family. Why did he even think he had a place beside her?
He rummaged around and found a plain piece of paper. He’d write a letter of sympathy to Delia and slip it onto one of her service trays in the coming weeks. A strange sense of relief came over Aidan as this new plan took root in his consciousness.
Glass shattered at the back door. Aidan ran to his room in time to see the clockwork bird fly through another broken pane. He instinctively put up his arms, covering his face.
The bird landed on the shelf, right beside the homing device. Its beak was completely crushed, as if it had been tapping for days. He turned and saw that all the panes were cracked. How long had the bird been trying to reach him? He paused before picking it up. He’d left Delia in tears. It was probably a note relieving him of his kitchen duties—his ruse finally revealed.
After building up the courage, he activated the secret compartment, and a small roll of paper slipped out. His eyes danced over the words. He read it another ten times to be sure. Then he moved in front of the small mirror above the sink. “I will not be who they tell me I am,” he said. “Tonight, I will be the man she sees.”
Full of exaggerated hope, Aidan pictured himself entering the ballroom, but he wasn’t going to be dressed as a chore boy or a waiter. He found the small sphere the pirate had given him and pressed the button.
True to his word, Nazem came into view as Aidan watched from the backyard of the cottage. He landed the glider easily. Aidan approached him, and they shook hands.
“This better be good,” Nazem growled. “The wind’s blowin’ a warning. Somethin’s in the air.”
“I didn’t think pirates were superstitious.”
“We are the most superstitious! That’s why we’re so old and smart. We pay attention to what the ancestors tell us.” He looked Aidan up and down. “Whaddya need?”
“A lift to the palace.”
He wheezed out a laugh.
“And an outfit worthy of a princess,” Aidan added.
“You want to dress like a princess?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, I want to sweep one off her feet.”
The wrinkled face looked surprised. “Aye, well, you won’t be sweepin’ anything but the dirt off the floor in those rags.” Then he made room for Aidan on the back of glider.
After Nazem flew a short distance in the air, the great pirate ship grew closer. Once the captain heard of Aidan’s plan, he demanded proof. Blushing, Aidan handed over the note from Delia. As the captain read, he frowned, and then at last his features smoothed out.
He barked a few orders, sending crewmen off in all directions, then he handed the note back to Aidan. “We’ll take care of what you asked for, but I won’t lie, the stars have been spelling out disaster for months. Are you sure this is your destiny?”
“No,” he said. “But she is.”
After declining the offer of a bottle of wine, Aidan went to the front of the ship. Needing to erase the building doubt and fear, he unfolded the note and read it again, letting her voice fill the spaces of his broken heart.
You are my bravery.
You are my wisdom.
You are my love.
Nothing else matters if you are not by my side.
If you feel the same, come to the ball and
I will declare you as my husband.