Acknowledgments

This book would not have come about without the keen and steadfast efforts of my agent, Gail Ross, and the wisdom and diligence of my editor, Susanna Porter. I am the lucky beneficiary of their exceptional talents and those of their dynamite teams at Ross Yoon Agency and Random House.

The final form of this manuscript was greatly improved by early feedback from several friends and colleagues. Thanks go to Daniel and Jennifer Coyle, Lisa Heffernan, Davida Pines, and Amy Weisser for generously offering their time and insights. An extra measure of gratitude is reserved for Amanda Block, my outstanding research assistant who, with unflagging care, helped to polish this book and the scholarly citations within it.

My thinking has been enriched and refined by ongoing conversations with psychologists Aarti Pyati, Erica Stovall White, and especially Tori Cordiano, who provided excellent comments on early drafts and who, as my officemate, patiently tolerates my constant interruptions to discuss topics ranging from the professional to the personal to the simply playful. I am likewise buoyed by my work at Laurel School, a bastion of love and respect for girls, where Head of School Ann V. Klotz’s dedication to educating the minds and hearts of young women energizes the entire school community. Of this community I could not be more thankful or proud to count myself a member.

Extraordinary friends, including Hetty Carraway, Anne Curzan, Alice Michael, and Carol Triggiano, and my loving family—especially my marvelous parents and daughters—have encouraged me throughout. No one has loaned more tireless support to this project than Darren, my dear husband. He is not only the most devoted partner—and father to our daughters—I could ask for, but he also nimbly executes the many additional roles I call on him to serve: cheerleader, sounding board, and close reader. I aspire to deserve him.

My training as a psychologist was provided by remarkable clinicians and scholars, and I am indebted to every one of them for shepherding me into the only career I can imagine having. In this book my own ideas are integrated with excellent work done by others, and I have aimed to acknowledge everyone whose work has informed my thinking. Any errors or omissions are mine alone.

Finally, I am boundlessly grateful to the girls and young women I have met through my work as a psychologist. Their decency, vitality, and depth never cease to impress and inspire me.