Chapter Forty-Four

“Skye…” he urges.

I open my eyes, turn my head, and kiss the palm of his hand.

“In New York,” I say. “At your club.”

He smiles. “That pleases me.”

“Why?”

“Because at the club is when I feel the most like me,” he says.

“Then why do you indulge only in New York?”

“I’ve already answered that question.”

“But—”

“There are certain things I keep out of my Boston life. Aren’t there certain things you keep out of your Kansas life?”

The fact that I haven’t told my parents about Braden spears into my head. Why haven’t I? They’ll be thrilled that I’m happy, not to mention that I’m dating a billionaire. What parents wouldn’t be?

“I suppose so,” I say.

“Speaking of Kansas…”

God. He’s going to say he wants to meet my parents. After all, I met his father and brother.

“I’ve never been there.”

“Oh?”

“Does that surprise you?”

“A little. You’ve been everywhere.”

“Not everywhere, but a good many places both here in the U.S. and outside.”

I can’t help a smile. “Kansas never made your list, huh?”

He smiles back, which makes me smile wider. Every time I see his real smile, I get warm inside. He’s usually so stoic.

“Not yet. But it will. You and I will go there.”

“When?”

“When would you like to?”

“I don’t know. I start my contract with Susanne tomorrow. I’m not sure Eugenie wants her posts taken from a Kansas cornfield.”

He kisses my forehead. “Probably not.”

“But New York, Braden. I could do my posts in New York.”

That delicious smile spreads across his face once more. “You want to go back to New York?”

I close my eyes. “More than anything.”

“I have meetings all next week here in Boston,” he says. “But we can go next weekend.”

“I’d love that.”

He kisses me again, my lips this time. Just a soft brush against them, but I tingle all over.

“So would I.”

…

I leave Braden’s the next morning at ten to meet Tessa for yoga. She’s already at the studio warming up.

“Hey, Tess,” I say.

“I wasn’t sure you’d make it,” she says.

“Why wouldn’t I? We had plans.”

“Right,” she says, not meeting my gaze. “Plans.”

She’s thinking about last night, how I turned down her invitation for drinks, which apparently turned into dinner at Ma Maison, with Betsy.

“Tess…”

“Don’t worry about it,” she says.

“I just feel a little uncomfortable around Betsy,” I say. “I’ll get over it.” It’s not a lie, but it’s not completely honest, either.

“She feels terrible,” Tessa says.

“About what?”

“About spilling the beans about Braden and Addison.”

“There’s no reason for her to feel bad. She was being a friend. Looking out for me.”

“So you’re okay with everything?”

I shrug. “Why wouldn’t I be? It was ten years ago. So he dumped her. Whatever.”

“But something happened that left her freaked out.”

I sigh. “If she was so freaked out, why was she upset that he ended things? She could by lying for all we know.”

Tessa says nothing, just moves into a downward dog to stretch her hamstrings and calves.

I hate the damned downward dog. Hate it with a passion.

We don’t talk for the remainder of the hour.

…

“Coffee?” I ask, wiping my neck with a towel after class.

“I’m not sure I’m up for it,” Tessa says.

“We always have coffee after yoga.”

“And we always keep our shopping dates,” she counters.

Is that what she’s upset about? That I forgot to cancel our shopping date because Braden and I went to New York early? She didn’t say anything about it when we talked on the phone earlier. Of course, that was before she caught me at Ma Maison with Kathy.

I thought we were past it, but I’ve still been neglecting her.

“Coffee,” I say. “We need to talk.”

She holds my gaze for seconds before she nods. “Okay.”

Once we’re settled at Bean There Done That, I take the lead. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not, or you wouldn’t still be upset. I should have texted you and canceled our shopping. And I should have been honest with you about drinks last night.”

“I just miss you is all,” she says.

“I miss you, too.”

She stares down at her latte. “I feel like you’re leaving me behind. You’ve got this new influencing venture. You’ve got a billionaire boyfriend. You’re finding new friends. Like that Kathy you had dinner with last night. Who is she, anyway?”

“How did you know her name?”

“You tagged her in your post, genius.” Tessa chuckles nervously.

“Oh. Right.” I resist rolling my eyes at myself. “She’s a law student at Harvard. She’s interning at Black Inc., and get this. She’s dating Braden’s father.”

Tessa’s dark eyes widen.

“She invited me to dinner last night after I told you no. Braden and I hadn’t made plans, so I went. Turns out, she’s just using me.”

Tessa wrinkles her forehead. “Why do you say that?”

“She said she wanted to talk to me about influencing, but we talked very little about it. Instead, she jumped at the chance to take a selfie with me and get her name in front of my followers.”

The lie tastes bitter in my mouth. It’s not all fabricated. Kathy is definitely interested in publicity, but she’s also nice in her way. We toasted to our friendship last night.

Why am I being untruthful with Tessa? She’s my best friend. She’s not going to judge me.

Who the hell am I?

“I can’t blame her,” Tessa says. “I’ve gotten a ton more followers since you posted with me.”

“I suppose.” I take a sip of coffee. “How’s Betsy doing? Business-wise, I mean.”

“She’s about ready to launch her online store. I’ve been helping her with the accounting end of it.”

“I’m glad to hear that. And how’s Rita?”

That gets a real smile out of Tessa. “An adorable ball of fluff! How’s Penny?”

“I swear, she grows more each day. I have no idea how big she’s going to be. I can’t wait until I get a new place and can bring her home.”

“Why don’t you just move in with Braden?”

Her question jars me. First, he hasn’t asked me. Second, I haven’t thought about it.

Third, because I know I’d do it in a minute if he asked, and that’s a little freaky.

“We’re not there yet,” I say. It’s not a lie, but it doesn’t feel like the truth, either.

“Oh.”

“How are you and Garrett doing?”

“Good. I like him a lot. He’s no Braden Black, of course.” She takes a drink and then wipes her mouth with a napkin.

I’m not sure how to respond to that, so I take another sip of coffee and let the warmth sit on my tongue for a moment before I swallow.

Finally, I say, “Tessa, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ve apologized. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. Are we ever going to be normal again?”

She looks down, swirls her latte in her paper cup. “I don’t know, Skye.”

“Look at me, Tess.”

She meets my gaze.

“What do you mean you don’t know? I’m still me.”

“Yeah, but you’re not you, too. You’re Braden Black’s girlfriend. You’re a rising star on Instagram. You’re the new face of Susie Girl cosmetics. Next thing you know, you’ll have galleries fighting over who gets to display your work. You’re moving up, Skye, and I feel like you’re leaving me behind.”

I touch her forearm. “I’ll never leave you behind. We’ve been besties for six years.”

“Yeah, and during those six years, we were always equals.”

“We’re still equals.”

She shakes her head. “It doesn’t feel that way.”

I flash back to freshman year at BU. Tessa and I weren’t roommates, but we lived on the same corridor in the same dorm. Though we both got on fine with our respective roomies, neither of us made a huge connection with them. In fact, we laughed at my roommate, Mary Ellen, who once told us that girlfriends sometimes had to break up as if they were a couple.

“Are you breaking up with me?” I ask, trying to sound jovial.

I expect her to break into giggles at the memory of Mary Ellen’s statement that we thought was hilarious at the time.

She doesn’t. Instead, “I don’t know. Maybe we need to take a break.”

“Like Ross and Rachel?” I can’t help asking, even though I know now isn’t the time for my silly attempts at humor.

“Well…Ross and Rachel did eventually get back together,” she says. “I’m not saying it’s forever, Skye.”

“Seven years later,” I say.

She stays silent.

“Fuck,” I say. “You’re serious.”

“Things are easier with Betsy,” she says. “We’re on the same level.”

“What level is that?” I ask sarcastically.

She shakes her head slowly. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re different. The old Skye never would have forgotten to cancel a shopping trip.”

My heart beats rapidly. This isn’t happening. “It was a mistake. For God’s sake, Tess, Braden and I flew to New York in the middle of the night. That whole weekend was out of whack.”

“I know. I actually do understand, and I accept your apology. But then you were supposed to call me after your meeting in New York, and you didn’t.”

My heart drops to my stomach. She’s right. “God, Tess, I’m so sorry.”

“It is what it is,” she says. “Things aren’t the same.”

“We’re no longer college students, if that’s what you mean. But I’m still the same. I’m still Skye.”

Even as I say the words, though, they don’t ring true.

Who is Skye Manning, anyway?

The answer is…

I don’t know.

The Skye Manning who’s the most at home at Braden’s underground leather club isn’t the Skye Manning who is Tessa Logan’s best friend.

Is she?

What about the Skye Manning who’s taking Instagram by storm?

The Skye Manning who Addison Ames hates?

Which one am I?

Am I all of them? Or none of them?

I swallow the last of my coffee and rise. “I have to go. Call me if you change your mind.”

“Skye…”

Tessa keeps talking, but I’m out the door.

She wants to trash a six-year friendship?

Fine.

I text Braden.

I want to go to New York. Tonight.