A MOVIE FILM score played in the background. It was small compensation for a job well done. Life was, after all, duty and reward, checks and balances, delayed gratification. All the better to keep away the turning tide of darkness that swelled inside him, ready to break on the shore.
He clicked the mouse on the window open on the left computer screen, bringing up her picture in pristine color in the newspaper article.
She was perfect.
Every composer had a magnum opus. Every artist had a masterpiece. And she would be his.
Such determination. Such strength. She would be his grand finale.
Caisey Ann Lyons.
**
Caisey didn’t feel great, but she went to work anyway. She had the all-clear from the doctors under the proviso that she didn’t do anything strenuous. But seriously, it hurt to breathe. It wasn’t like she was going to join an operation. She was crazy, but not that crazy. People needed to quit giving her that look, like they fully expected her to jump in her rust-bucket car and run off to go skydiving or bungee-jumping when she had a bruise the size of Wyoming on her front that was just now starting to go away.
She headed for her desk. Only two weeks since she got her sternum broken by a point-blank bullet and the whole place looked different. It even smelled different, like a weird mix of leather and coffee and printer toner. There was still a hum of activity. Nothing had changed, but there was this niggling feeling where her stubborn will used to be that didn’t feel like it always had when she saw this place.
It was weird, like it wasn’t the home- away-from-home it used to be, the sanctuary where she dug in and prepared to do battle. Now it wasn’t even the home of a relative you didn’t like that much. She probably needed a vacation, even though she’d spent the last week and a half since she got out of hospital supervising the estate sale of Grams’ furniture and working out all the details of her will and the life insurance.
She and Jenna hadn’t had the heart to do more than slice a chunk off and set it aside for Jake’s college fund. Caisey wanted to pay off the house, but she didn’t particularly like being there now, so what was the point? Even with Jenna and Jake still there and Gabe hanging around, there were too many memories of the past crowding her so she couldn’t sleep for dreaming about Grams and her dad. That led to wondering where her mom was, and all kinds of other rabbit trails that didn’t lead anywhere but south.
Caisey slumped into her chair and winced. She was ready to be done with the incessant pain in her chest, but it wasn’t going away, especially since she’d confined herself to the minimum dose of regular pain killers. She’d seen too many agents retire early after a bad incident because they got dependent and she wasn’t even going to go near that whole thing. She would rather live with this right now than live with that forever.
She looked around, avoiding the winces and pity in the eyes of other agents. There wasn’t a lot she needed, but that definitely didn’t cover it. None of them bothered to come over and ask her how she was doing. Though, they probably figured she’d just snap like she always did when she was in a bad mood because something was hurting. Why did she have to be like that? Why couldn’t she be full of love like she was supposed to be?
A change of scenery was probably in order. Jenna and Jake were moving on with their lives, and Nic was a big part of that. They’d probably hardly notice she was gone if she went on vacation. God would take care of them. She knew that now. Caisey didn’t need to be at work for them to be safe. In fact, it didn’t matter what she did. They would be safe in His hands, no matter what came at them. Caisey knew that as sure as she knew she had a peace now that she’d never felt before. Peace that reached right down to her soul and spread out like the licking flames of a burning fire, warming her where before there had only been fear.
“You’re here.”
Caisey blinked and looked up just as Liam sat down. “Hey.”
“You okay?”
She shrugged and then remembered something Gabe had told her. She squinted at him. “I know it wasn’t you who gave me mouth to mouth.”
Liam tipped his head back and laughed.
She frowned. “That wasn’t funny. You shouldn’t have told me that.”
He didn’t stop laughing. “You should have seen your face. You wouldn’t even look at Andrea, I had to tell her why.” He wheezed. “It was priceless.”
“Why do I put up with you?”
Liam folded his arms. “Probably because I put up with you.”
She glared, but didn’t tell him she would concede him that point. “So what’s new?”
“Tell me about Jake first. How’s he doing?”
Caisey brushed at some crumbs on her desk. Someone had been eating at her desk while she was gone. Gross. “He’s pretty down, since it hit home what could have happened and he’s thanking God it didn’t. He’s probably going to get probation and it’ll go on his juvenile record. But when you have half a dozen FBI agents vouching for you, it says a lot.”
Liam shrugged. “Juvie records are sealed anyway. It won’t be a big deal since he’s not a habitual offender type kid. Who doesn’t have a record these days?”
Caisey’s eyes widened. “You?”
Liam looked everywhere but at her.
“How could I not have known this? Spill.”
His eyes narrowed. “You don’t know everything about me.”
“Apparently. What else don’t I know? What other dark secrets do you have that you’re hiding from me?”
Liam laughed. “It’s not like that. It was just stupid kid stuff. Boosting cars to get a rise out of my dad. He made sure I got thirty days in juvenile detention and visited me every weekend.” He shrugged. “Worked.”
Caisey shook her head. “I can’t believe you never told me that.”
“What about old Gabe? How’s he doing?”
“Nice. That was slick. Changing the subject like I’m not going to notice.”
Liam smirked. “Andrea seems to think so. We set a date.”
“Oh yeah?”
He nodded. “Now tell me about Gabe.”
Caisey glanced at her black monitor screen. She should probably turn it on if she was going to be here. She sighed, thinking how much effort it would take to lean down and hit the button.
“Earth to Case.”
She shook her head. “Gabe is good. He got tasked with all the hauling of Grams’ stuff to the thrift store and he’s been sleeping on her couch. I’m not sure what his long term plan is, he probably needs to get back to Buckshot since he has his bookstore. I honestly don’t think he expected to live, much less have to deal with going home to get back to his life.”
Liam nodded. “Makes sense. How do you feel about him going?”
“I don’t know that I’ve thought about it. But it’s been nice him being here. We’ve talked a lot and um…stuff.”
“Like making out?”
She rolled her eyes. “This isn’t junior high.”
“Yeah, but you really should ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.”
She laughed, pressed a hand to her chest and groaned.
“Sorry. Probably shouldn’t do that.”
“No, you shouldn’t. But Gabe has been great, you know? Just being there and not pushing. It really is too bad things have to go back to normal eventually.”
“Normal? You?” Liam laughed again.
Caisey grabbed a stapler and pretended to throw it at him. He covered his head and laughed harder. She shook hers at his antics and the far wall caught her eye. All the Chloroform Killer stuff was still up.
“What’s up with all that? I thought they went to pick him up.”
Liam shook his head. “Evaded capture. So now everyone’s ticked off and seriously motivated to nail this guy to the wall.”
Caisey saw something in his eyes that was more than just what he said. “What happened?”
“They found another body this morning.”
Caisey closed her eyes. “They really need to get this guy.”
“No kidding.”
Caisey glanced at the board. “Just one body?”
“Kills are further apart.”
“Something disrupted his pattern?”
“Getting more selective.”
Caisey shook her head. She really didn’t want to get sucked into this. She needed light, not the mire of darkness that permeated this whole place. For once she wanted to forget that evil existed and bask in the goodness of God that filled His people. Or babies. Babies were good. Which made her think about Gabe, but who knew what the future would bring? She knew what the true desire of her heart was. Would God work that out? She was trying to abide, to stick close to Him, but it wasn’t a formula that got you what you wanted. It was life, and life was eminently unpredictable.
She sighed and refocused on Liam. “Anything else happen while I was gone?”
“Sheriff Frank Allens was apprehended in Nebraska a week ago. Marshals brought him back to Colorado to stand trial for the murder of his niece.”
“They’re sure?”
Liam nodded. “That’s where the evidence points. And it’s overwhelming, since they found his wife’s body too. It was years ago, but the pathologist confirmed the attack was savage. Like he snapped.”
She blew out a breath.
“Heard there’s a job opening.”
“For what?”
Liam gave her a look like she was dense. “For the sheriff of Buckshot.”
“Why would you tell me that?”
“I’m sure I don’t know, but since you were shot in the vest, I’ll give you a break. Maybe you might want to think about it awhile and it’ll come to you. What with Gabe going back to his bookstore and your recent injury meaning you might be looking for a change of pace. You did say you liked it there, didn’t you?”
Caisey blinked. “I guess. Too bad my dad’s old cabin is pretty much uninhabitable now. Gabe will have to totally rebuild, if his bookstore doesn’t have an apartment or whatnot above it. I probably should have gone and checked it out while we were there. I would’ve liked to have seen it.”
“You could always visit.”
“I guess.” She blew out a breath and looked around. They were all safe. The threat was gone and she had what she wanted. She had peace. So why did it feel like something was still missing?
“You okay?” Liam’s eyes were soft.
“I don’t know.”
“Talk it out.”
She looked around and then back at Liam. “Is this it? Is this my life?”
“It is for me.”
“But you have Andrea. You’re getting married.”
“Exactly.” He nodded. “God knew the kind of job I needed and he brought me here so I could get to know Him through your life. Grams. Jenna. Even Jake. It was undeniable. You’re all the reason why I saw for the first time the validity in trusting something more than just myself. There was no escaping it.”
Caisey smiled. He’d certainly kicked and screamed against it, until deciding at the last minute when everything was on the line that he was going to trust God at His word.”
“But you?” Liam shook his head. “Has this job ever made you truly happy, like down to your bones happy? Or is it just something you thought you were supposed to do?”
“Why does my job have to make me happy? It’s just a job. It doesn’t have to be some grand calling.”
“It doesn’t have to slowly kill you either.”
“You think…?”
Liam nodded. “This isn’t you. Even though you are more than capable of succeeding at this, I just don’t think you could do it without it tearing apart who you are. It will rob you of your belief in the innocent. Eventually you’ll see evil everywhere, even where it isn’t, because I don’t think you can do something without giving it everything you’ve got. It’s never going to be just a job. Even if you were a waitress, you’d make it something more. And that’s great, Case. It’s a good thing to be like that. It’s ministry. But if it’s not the right thing, I think you’ll suffer. Especially when every day is one more killer, one more drug kingpin, or one more crazy person bent on destruction. It’ll get to you.”
Caisey bit her lips together. “It already did.”
The phone rang. Caisey shook her head and reached for it. “Special Agent Lyons.”
“Mr. Silver wants to speak to you.”
The caller hung up.
Liam motioned to the phone with his chin. “Who was it?”
She told him.
“So, let’s go.”
“You’re coming?”
Liam shrugged. “I’m in the mood for a drive.”
“Don’t you have open cases? Work to do?”
He met her at the edge of their desks and squeezed her shoulder. “It’ll keep.”