GABE PUSHED OUT a breath, his hands folded on the table in front of him. His foot tapped a rhythm on the tile floor as he waited.
“What is it you want from this conversation?”
Good question. Gabe glanced at the chaplain, an unassuming man with thinning hair and no observable energy. Had working at a prison for years sapped the life from him? Surely this man had seen good things amongst the bad, testimonies and astounding life- changed God-things. So why didn’t he look happy about it? Maybe a neutral expression was how you got by in a place like this.
“I don’t really know.” Gabe shook his head. “I was the one who put him here. Should I apologize for that? I sort of feel like I should, but I also feel like this is goodbye.”
The chaplain nodded slowly. “It likely is, considering his condition.”
Gabe didn’t want to think about his dad dying in this place. It was justice for the things he’d done for Arturo, but he was still Gabe’s dad. You couldn’t stop loving someone even when they did wrong. Gabe had righted that wrong, but would his dad respect that?
It seemed like forever before the silence was broken. The door handle rotated and he shot up, the chair sliding back behind him. The chaplain stood also, the slow movement of someone weighted down by life.
Toben Carlen shuffled in. A guard led him to a chair. When he was sitting, he hissed out a breath and looked up. Gabe wanted to close his eyes at this once-vibrant man, now frail and worn. His gray hair was bushy, his face cracked with age. The orange jumpsuit brought out a sallowness in his skin.
Gabe cleared his throat and sat down. His dad wore the same neutral expression as the chaplain. But did he expect a warm reception? Gabe didn’t know what he should have expected. Or where to start.
“Gabriel.”
He shut his eyes. Since his mom died, his dad was the only one who called him that. “I feel like I should ask for forgiveness.”
Shackles clinked and Gabe opened his eyes. His dad was trying to reach for him. Gabe moved his hand so his dad could hold it.
“Son, it’s me who needs absolution from you. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for coming. The fact you’re here means everything to an old man with not much time left in this world.”
“But I did this to you.” Gabe’s breath hitched. “I put you here because I couldn’t think beyond what you did. I was blinded by a need for justice so I couldn’t see what that would do to you.”
“And now?”
“Hindsight is a powerful thing.”
“You did the right thing, Gabriel. Just like your mom taught you, truth above all else. You should have no regrets over what happened. The only one to blame for this, is me. I broke the law. I did wrong. I hurt people. Justice was served and none of that is on you.”
Gabe touched his forehead to the table. His father’s hand rested on the back of his head, much like he’d done when Gabe was a kid, sick or scared about something.
“I don’t hold you responsible for any of this, Gabriel. And I need your forgiveness. I hurt so many people and I’ll never get to ask them, but I can ask you. Jesus has forgiven me, I know that. He died for my sin and it doesn’t erase the pain I caused people. But at least now I can spend my last days praying for those I’ve hurt. Will you forgive me for what I’ve done?”
Gabe lifted his head. “Sin is sin. None of us can say something is worse than something else. All of it causes pain to someone. We’ve all done wrong and I can’t withhold forgiveness from you, when I’ve been forgiven so much.”
“You believe?”
Gabe nodded. “A few years back I got to the end of myself. I was chewed up inside and I couldn’t find peace anywhere, least of all within myself. I decided to give the church thing a try and I found peace that didn’t come from me at all.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“It was. I felt free for the first time, like I could face myself in the mirror instead of trying not to think about the kind of person I was. A person who tore apart his family. It might have been right, but it still changed all of us. You were here, Dad. But I was in a prison of my own.”
“I believe it, son. I do. You always tried so hard to do right and speak the truth, but you felt everything so deeply. I knew what it was doing to you, to admit what I’d done and speak up about it. You did the right thing, but it cost you your future.”
The image of Caisey popped into his head and Gabe felt his lips twitch. “I got it back Dad.”
Toben’s eyes flickered. “Your future?”
He nodded. “Her name is Caisey. I saw her a long time ago, just once. This is going to sound crazy, it sounds crazy to me and I lived it. But I knew. I saw her once and I just knew she was it for me. It’s been nearly years, but I found her again. She just walked in one day and all that knowing rushed back. She’s been having a rough time lately, with Arturo, but that’s over now. I’m hoping she feels the same. Praying she’ll want to make a life with me.”
Toben huffed a laugh, his mouth curling up the same way Gabe’s did.
“What?”
Toben shook his head. “It was much the same for me, with your mother. One look and I knew she was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We got married the next day.”
Gabe wanted to laugh. “You did?”
His dad nodded, smiling.
“How come I’ve never heard this?”
“Sounds crazy, just like you said. And your mom said she didn’t want you jumping into something without thinking it through. Then as you got older, she realized you had way too much sense to do that. When you’d know, you would be sure and she wasn’t going to be able to talk you out of it. You’re as stubborn as your old man and she knew that.”
Gabe chuckled.
“Somehow you wound up with a streak of honor so strong nothing would break it.Whereas I lost my way.”
Gabe studied his dad. They were alike in many ways, they always had been. Which led to butting heads and more shouting than was probably healthy in a father-son relationship. But that was past. The years had taken them on different journeys. Gabe was free to live the rest of his life, with Caisey and the peace he’d found believing in Jesus. His dad had that same faith, but with little time left over.
The guard said, “Five minutes.”
Gabe sucked in a breath and squeezed his dad’s hand lightly. He didn’t feel anything past sympathy for where his dad’s choices had brought him. The hurt was gone. Warmth swept through him, and he recognized that peace that surpasses understanding. “I’d like to see you again, if that’s okay.”
Toben shook his head. “This is it, son. This is goodbye.”
“But I want to speak more with you. We’ve just found each other again.” And that’s what it felt like, though neither had been lost any way but spiritually. “This can’t be it.”
“It is, son.” Toben labored to his feet. “I love you, Gabriel. Live your life, marry your girl and make the family we never had. Be the honorable man you are, always. God will bless you and He’ll keep you and I pray His face will shine on you always.”
He shuffled to the door and looked back. “But don’t come back.”
Gabe stared at the open door.
The chaplain shifted in his chair and Gabe wanted to know what the man thought he was going to achieve by sitting in on this meeting.
“You have to understand—”
Gabe cut him off. “No, I don’t.”
**
Jenna unlocked the front door. Jake brushed past her and raced upstairs. Seconds later she heard his door slam. Nic squeezed her shoulder. “You want me to talk to him?”
She shook her head and set her purse down at the bottom of the stairs. The house was quiet, too quiet. Caisey’s dad was gone and now Grams too. Caisey was off, working or whatever. The place was like a mausoleum—if they could be inhabited by surly teenage boys.
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Okay.” Nic motioned toward the kitchen. “You want anything?”
“Coffee would be great.”
Jenna made her way upstairs. She knew Jake felt bad about what he’d done. She knew he spent his time in jail upset and trying to be brave, faced with something he’d been certain he would never have to do. Forget being scared straight, her son had never dealt well with doing something wrong. It was like his remorse gene was overdeveloped to where you didn’t need to punish him, because he was punishing himself bad enough. Thereafter he would always go overboard to do what was right.
Now she knew Caisey was healing, Jenna settled on being angry at her. She was going to be okay, so Jenna could be mad. Caisey should never have told Jake that protecting your family came above everything, at whatever cost. That line of thinking was what sent a teenage boy, with no experience to fall back on, out in the world to kill a man. Now her son had a juvenile record and was crying in his room.
Jenna stopped outside his door and listened to the coughing sobs. She waited until he had settled and then got a box of tissues from the bathroom. She set them on his bed and sat beside him. He didn’t look up from the pillow.
“Jake, honey.”
“Go away, Mom.”
“I know you feel bad. That’s a good thing. It means you have a heart. But you can’t keep beating yourself up about what you did. You answered for it and now you move on.”
“How can I do that? Natalia is gone and everyone is going to know I tried to murder someone, Mom. My life is over. I can’t go to school. I can’t go anywhere. No one is going to want me now.”
Jenna wanted to smile at the overblown teenage drama, but he wasn’t wrong. Not really. “So we’ll move. Start fresh somewhere else. You. Me.” She hesitated. “Your father.”
Jake turned his head to her. “Dad is coming?”
Jenna shrugged. “We’ll ask him. But think about it. His business was destroyed and I’m going to guess he’ll want to come with us.”
“Really?”
“We’ll figure it out, Jake. Just get some rest and when you’re ready, come downstairs. The three of us will work this out together, okay?”
He sniffed and nodded. “Yeah, Mom.”
Jenna gave his shoulder a squeeze and went downstairs. On the bottom step, her body stilled. Was Nic going to be there when she got to the kitchen? Something dark rushed through her. Maybe he’d decided they were too much to deal with and he’d left.
“You okay?”
Jenna blinked and looked at him. “Uh…”
“You don’t look okay.” He moved closer and took her arm, leading her into the kitchen. “Sit. I’ll pour you a cup. You look like your world is falling apart.”
“Well it isn’t, because it already did.”
“So we put it back together.”
She looked up at him. “We?”
Nic pulled a chair out so they were facing each other, almost touching. He grabbed her hand. “I’m in this. All the way. I’m not leaving again. My dad isn’t an issue anymore. The road ahead is clear and it lies wherever we want it to lead. And I’m here, so you don’t walk this alone. Okay?”
She nodded.
“We do everything together, from now on.”
“But I’m supposed to be strong and independent.”
Nic cracked a smile, the one she’d fallen for all those years ago. The same smile Jake used to wear so often. Tears filled her eyes.
“Hey.” Nic grabbed her hand. “You are strong. It was funny because you don’t realize you’re already everything you need to be.”
“Not for Jake.” She sucked in a breath. “What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t help him get through this?”
“All we can do is give him the tools to move forward. We will get through this and I want to be a part of it.”
Jenna bit her lip.
“I can see those wheels turning.” He smiled again. “And I’ll tell you right now, I intend to marry you.”
“Is that really what you want?”
Nic rolled his eyes.
“Don’t make like I’m all exasperating, Nicholas Arturo.”
He shook his head. “Maybe I’ll take your name. I don’t want my father there with me, every time I use my name.”
Jenna nearly choked on her coffee. “What if I want some time to think about it?”
Nic studied her. “Tell me what you want.”
Jenna didn’t have to think too hard. “A happy family. A peaceful home.”
“That’s it?”
She shrugged. “Jake wants out of Denver. Somewhere no one knows who he is.”
Nic frowned. “What about your spa?”
“I’ve had chain spa’s approach me about a buy-out before, so that’s possible. I could look into that. But if they’re going to take all the heart out of my place I’d rather sell it to my assistant manager for a dollar.” Jenna smiled at his face. “I’ll figure it out, because it’s not more important than Jake. It was fun, but it was just a job.”
“You blow me away, Jenna.” He shook his head, eyes wide. “You’re the strongest person I know. How come you didn’t see that?”
“I don’t feel strong at all.”
“But you are. The hits keep coming and you’re just rolling with it all. Forgiving your dad and then driving straight to pick up Jake. Bringing your son home and working toward the future.” He stood up, pulling her close. “There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than right here with you, making our family great.”
“Do you think it will work?”
Nic smiled. “I think we can try.”
“God can work it out.” Jenna said it tentatively, not knowing where he stood.
Nic nodded. “You can help me with that too.”