“I was almost unanimously nominated to find you,” said a quiet, female voice behind Wynn. “Except for Rhyn. He violently opposed and was put down by a demon tranquilizer Kris had stashed somewhere in the castle where he knew you wouldn’t look.”
Wynn ignored Katie, who entered the place-between-places behind him.
“The boys think you have a soft spot for strong women.”
“You’re wasting your time, Katie,” he replied.
“Maybe,” she allowed. Her eyes drifting to the gods and goddesses he summoned faster and faster. “But here’s the thing. Stephanie is dead-dead and in Hell. For some reason, the boys all disappeared after I was nominated to talk to you. If history is any indication, the lack of Council is probably going to cause the Immortals to implode or open another rift between here and Hell. Or both. Or worse. It’s kind of hard to tell. Bad stuff is happening, Wynn.”
Wynn missed a beat and then continued.
“Oh, and Karma is in trouble, if you care.”
“Of course, I …” Wynn stopped himself.
“Really? Cuz it doesn’t look like it.”
“You have no idea what I’m doing, human.”
“If I had to guess, it would be letting those you care about destroy themselves while you pursue a personal agenda in the hopes you can escape your feelings,” she said.
Wynn’s focus fell away. He glared at her.
Katie was watching the last deity walk through a portal in mild interest.
“I can better serve those around me as a deity. I’ll have the power of an eternity of information at my hands,” he said.
“Yeah, but everyone will be dead by then.”
Wynn had never wanted to murder the messenger as much as he did now. It wasn’t only her blunt words that bothered him but the fact that somewhere, deep inside him, he knew it all to be true. He was at war with himself and hoping to stave off the inevitable truth until it was too late to do anything about the fates of those around him.
Feeling the intensity of his gaze, Katie looked up at him, unafraid.
“You’re not going to intimidate me like you do everyone else, Wynn.” She smiled. “I’m the only human in history to survive both Hell and the Underworld. My husband is an ill-tempered demon with the power of a god, and my daughter farts fireballs. You won’t lay a hand on me and even if you did, the Dark One and Death already tried their best. For all our faults, we little humans are pretty resilient.”
“And foolish.”
“Yep. Probably the other reason I was voted to come here.”
“I’ve got work to do.” He stepped away from her.
“By all means. Destroy your family and the world. I’ll just stand over here and watch.”
Wynn hissed out a sigh.
“Hell sucks, by the way. You know that, and so do I,” Katie added. “Stephanie’s about to figure that out. Andre seems to think that’s where the boys are, too.”
“There’s nothing I can do as an Immortal.” Even he didn’t believe the lie.
“If you say so.”
Wynn’s face flushed with anger. Rhyn’s saucy mate was starting to get to him.
“What do you want, Katie?” he snapped.
“I want to know what to tell your granddaughter when she asks why the Immortals are gone and we’re hiding from demons with the last remnants of humanity.”
“It won’t come to that. I’ll ensure it.”
“Right.”
Unable to focus, Wynn whirled to face her. “You’ve said enough. You need to leave.”
“Am I pissing you off, Wynn?”
“You’re a distraction. Nothing more.”
“Guess I need to try harder.” Katie gazed at him. “If this was about anything except your ego, you’d realize those around you need you as an Immortal, not a god.”
“I have spent two lifetimes serving the greater good and safeguarding everyone around me. This is my reward. What I do with my life is my choice.”
“If you truly believe that …” She sighed. “I’ll leave you alone if you answer one question.”
“What?” he snapped.
“Are you really willing to sacrifice everyone you care about and the worlds you’ve safeguarded to become a useless god?” she asked. “Because if you take this step, you definitely will.”
Wynn’s teeth were clenched. He glared at her, and it dawned on him why she of all people had come to confront him.
Katie was mostly human with a drop of Immortal blood from many generations passed. She was the preferred prey of demons, the reason Wynn had maintained an Immortal army, the species that couldn’t negotiate with deities for favors or special treatment or even defend itself.
She was vulnerable in every way possible, from her fragile human body - which could never withstand what an Immortal could - to her short life span, to the inability to bear true power or influence like an Immortal or god could. In the grand scheme of things, a human’s life was a speck of dust, a second of time, a drop of water in a hurricane, an accidental creation. They were nothing – and everything Wynn had spent two lifetimes safeguarding. Two healed breaches, thousands of demon attacks, negotiations conducted among hundreds of deities, unified Immortals … He’d done it to preserve not only the race of Immortals, but to ensure the continued existence of the humans they shared their world with.
Katie represented all the lives Wynn had saved, and all of those he’d lost. Her unlikely existence was a direct result of everything he’d done.
In the back of his mind, Wynn suspected this was the real reason his sons had sent her. This chess move had Andre written all over it.
“According to Gabe, Karma’s lost it, Wynn,” Katie said, concern entering her voice. “Gabe’s going to take her out, and Fate might as well be dead after what happened to Stephanie.”
Wynn was silent.
“Stephanie committed suicide by demon, and Karma may be trying really fucking hard to commit suicide by deity,” Katie mused. “And here you are, not giving a shit about anyone but yourself. Why did you even bother saving the worlds, if you’re just going to destroy them?”
Wynn’s eyes didn’t leave the features of his son’s mate. Katie was scared. He heard it in the tension of her voice. But she didn’t back down, because she fought for something outside of her. She was there for her daughter and mate.
Katie folded her arms across her chest. “Your decision is simple. If you care about your family, show them. If you care more about becoming a god, then keep doing what you’re doing. You won’t have to worry about your family getting in the way when you’re done. We’ll all be dead. It should make your life a whole lot easier.”
“Fuck you, Katie.” The soft words left his mouth before he could stop them.
“Back at ya,” she replied, unfazed.
Wynn paced away and ran his fingers through his hair. Every time he moved, he smelled Karma’s scent on his skin.
He threw back his head, staring into the infinite darkness above. He was beyond the point where he could separate his mind and emotions, beyond the ability to reason or follow any single train of thought.
He could only feel.
He felt angry and devastated and self-loathing. He experienced euphoria when he thought of Karma, fury when he considered that his children were all under the control of Darkyn, fear when he realized he was going to harm all he’d sought to protect.
“When in doubt, follow your heart,” Katie said. “That’s what humans do. Not sure what you sadistic assholes do.”
He closed his eyes and recalled the night with Karma. He’d thought it would be the last – and secretly prayed it wasn’t.
He released a breath.
When Wynn imagined his two options – godhood or his family – some of his inner conflict fell away.
He could visualize a life without being a god.
He couldn’t visualize living without Karma.
He hadn’t wanted to view his choices this starkly before. He hadn’t wanted to consider what he would lose – only what he’d gain. He hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the truth that he couldn’t have both his godhood and stability among Immortals and humans.
If he continued, he’d lose Karma, his family, and possibly, the Immortals he’d spent two lifetimes safeguarding. Darkyn would win their chess game, and all the knowledge in the universe wouldn’t reverse what was about to happen.
He’d avoided being honest with himself, because he already knew what his heart had decided. He had preferred madness to the truth for too long.
His heart. Karma claimed it had always guided him. If he lost it, Wisdom would never be the protector he was capable of being as an Immortal.
“I’ll let you hold Hazel,” Katie said, cautious hope in her tone. “She’s a quarter demon. You two might get along.”
Wynn met her gaze again. With his decision, his emotions settled enough for him to start to think logically again about what the fuck he’d almost done.
“Tell me what happened to Stephanie,” he directed her quietly.
“From what we can gather, she had a horrible plan to have Darkyn kill her,” Katie responded. “Andre thinks she meant to have Darkyn resurrect her, but it appears to have gone wrong.”
“She wanted to stop me by removing herself from the equation and therefore leaving the Council vulnerable.”
“Kris said, to beat you, she’d have to be willing to do what you wouldn’t.”
“Impressive effort, though ill advised,” he stated. “I take it she did it without talking to her mate first about how not to make a deal with Darkyn.”
“You see what happens if you’re not around?” Katie returned. “Everything goes to shit.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
She studied him. “For the record, I still think you’re a dick.”
“And I still admire you.”
Katie smiled, and warmth touched her features for the first time in their short history of interacting.
“Gabe’s going to kill Karma. You might want to stop him,” Katie advised. “Stephanie should be fine for now. She’s not getting any deader.”
Wynn focused on Karma, and one of the portals blinked. He strode through and emerged into a familiar field. Tendrils of black that moved like smoke but were solid stretched across the field in every direction. Gods and goddesses were caught in the tendrils, frozen in horror, their bodies being drained of life. Karma was hidden at the center of a writhing mass of darkness and tendrils at the center of the carnage.
Wynn’s breath caught, not because of the display of power he knew her to possess, but because of what it meant. He’d seen Karma distraught, crying, infuriated, and happy.
This was Karma in pain.
I did this to her. His insides twisted and his chest was almost too tight to breathe. He was once more trapped in feeling instead of thinking, in the horror of how much she suffered. For all his talk and work of safeguarding others, Wynn had failed the person who mattered most. Her pain was destroying her and others.
Wynn had never experienced despair or desperation in either of his Immortal lives. Karma’s pain filled him with both, and what was left of the walls around his emotions vaporized in the face of what he’d done to his mate. Every action had consequences, but he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the impact of his decisions on her. Witnessing it left no room for any further denial.
“She’s done, Wynn.” Gabriel’s voice was low, hard.
Reeling from emotions, Wynn tore his attention from the center of the destruction to Death, who stood beside him. Gabriel and Wynn alone were left untouched by Karma’s power. The tendrils melted into fog at their feet. Gabriel carried a dagger with a barbed blade.
“I can stop her,” Wynn said.
“You told me once before you knew your limits and couldn’t. This shit” Gabriel waved at the field, “cannot go unanswered.”
“I’m calling in my final favor with you,” Wynn said. “If I can’t talk her down, you kill us both.”
Death stared at him, surprise on his features.
“Just give me ten minutes,” Wynn added softly.
“Wynn – “
“I don’t want to live without her.”
The muscles in Gabriel’s cheek jumped. He hesitated.
“That’s the deal, Gabriel.”
“You won’t become a god this way,” Death said.
Wynn offered his hand in response.
Gabriel studied him and then shook his hand. “Ten minutes,” he warned. “That’s it.”
Wynn walked towards Karma. The fog and darkness parted for him, swirled at his feet, and filled in the wake he left. He reached the mass at the center of the field and stepped into it without hesitation. One step turned to five then ten then twenty.
The center of Karma’s storm was calm, quiet, and free of darkness. She sat in the middle, knees pulled to her chest and arms wrapped tightly around them. Her hair was ebony. Her sobbing shattered what was left of his heart.
Dying felt cold and dark and lonely. Karma had hoped her mind would simply stop and take her pain with it. Instead, she felt more intensely than ever before, and no amount of balancing could counter it. She waited to feel her bond with Wynn break, for her brain to cease functioning and her heart to stop. She waited for the abyss to swallow her as it did her surroundings.
Goddess.
Mostly, she waited for the memories of her mate to vanish, and take with it the torture of having every sense recalling what it felt like to be in his presence.
You’ve done enough, goddess.
A flare of lightning and fire disrupted the coldness of death, tugging her back towards the edge of the abyss.
“Karma.”
Even now, her mind played tricks on her, telling her he was there when he wasn’t.
Another flare of fire pierced her. It was followed by the warmth of his touch, his faint scent, the brush of his stubble roughened cheek against hers. At once, the storm within her began to wane, replaced by the grounded calm of Wynn’s presence and healing ability.
She grew aware of her physical self and opened her eyes. The black fog around her had begun to dissipate.
Wynn’s heat surrounded her. His chin rested against her temple and his chest was at her back. His heartbeat was quick, and he was warm. He gripped her wrists and had wrapped their arms around her body. He held her against him, thighs on either side of her hips as he knelt behind her.
He was unyielding and solid in a world where she had no other foundation.
Karma sucked in a breath and swallowed hard. Her cheeks were stiff with the tears that had stopped the moment she realized he was present.
He didn’t speak again but simply held her. Slowly, her body relaxed against his, as calmed by his warmth as her mind was by his gentle healing power.
“You’re not a god,” she whispered, sensing his Immortal soul.
She blinked away tears. The black fog had ceased writhing and clung to the ground. It had begun to disappear completely in some places, revealing patches of grass dusted with starlight.
“There’s something I want more,” was Wynn’s soft response. “I want to be your home.”
Warmth bloomed within her. She rested her head back against his shoulder, and he nuzzled her gently.
“You’re powerful and brave and beautiful,” Wynn continued in the same calm tone. “Nothing about you is weak, and I apologize for ever making you feel as if you are.”
“Like in the movies,” she said hoarsely. “You choose me?”
“Yes, Karma, I do. And I will every day from here on out.”
Comfortable in his embrace, she exhaled a deep breath. The last of the fog disappeared, leaving several dazed deities and a dozen more dead in the field.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you.” These words were hoarse.
She heard the pain in his voice, and tears blurred her vision. “It’s okay,” she whispered.
“No, it’s not.”
“I love you. It’s always okay. No matter what you do.”
“You deserve much better than anything I am or could ever offer you,” Wynn replied.
“All I want is for you to be my home again,” she replied, choking back tears.
“Always.”
She wiped her tears and relaxed into him, too exhausted to identify what emotions she felt. But they weren’t the bad ones that had consumed her.
“I made a mess,” she murmured.
“Nothing we can’t fix together.”
Hearing the raw note in his voice, she straightened and twisted to peer at her mate. Wynn’s eyes, always beautiful and mesmerizing, were even more so this day, because they didn’t hide his feelings. He was calm on the surface– but his emotions were stormy.
She smiled and rested her palms against his warm cheeks. “I took out Raphael. He won’t try to hurt you again.”
Wynn laughed quietly. “Thank you, goddess.”
“You don’t know shit about loving someone else. We’re going to watch movies until you figure it out. That’s how I learned,” she said.
“After we negotiate amends to the successors of the deities you balanced.”
She debated reminding him she could handle things herself and then glanced around at the carnage remaining in the field. “Yeah, I might need help with that,” she said. “You can negotiate and I’ll handle anyone who refuses to do what you want.”
Wynn pulled her back into his arms. She clung to him.
“For the official record, if you ever do this shit again, Karma, I will render you dead-dead.” Gabriel’s tone was stern.
“If you ever come for Wynn, I’ll do worse,” Karma retorted, glaring at her friend without leaving the warm embrace of her mate.
“Also, stay out of my fucking Underworld,” Death snapped.
“I have a new home, and it’s better than prison!”
“Wynn, our deal is done,” Gabriel stated. “But Darkyn’s waiting for you.”
Karma looked between them. “Darkyn? Why?” she asked, concerned for her mate.
“Stephanie got herself killed by a demon,” Gabriel explained. “Now your mate is going to get her out of Hell. Right?”
“I will,” Wynn replied.
“Good. I’m done. Tell Fate I don’t want to see him for a very long time,” Gabriel said. He strode away from them, towards the nearest deity and knelt to help her to her feet.
“You have to help Stephanie,” Karma said and leaned away from her mate. She searched his features once more, not wanting to move from his presence yet concerned about her brother and his mate.
“Stay out of trouble, goddess,” Wynn said with a small smile. He cupped her cheek in one hand. “I might be a while.”
“Will you come find me if I get in trouble?” she asked hopefully.
“I’ll come find you either way,” he promised and rested his forehead against hers. “Please refrain from balancing anyone before I return.”
Karma smiled. The lingering pain, doubt and fear slid away as they breathed in the same air.
The peaceful moment lasted until Wynn drew away. He stood and pulled her up with him. He kissed her gently, and she leaned into him, loving his flavor and warm, soft lips. The tender exchange lit the fire in her belly and reminded her of how safe she’d always felt with the man everyone else feared.
We have this in common, too, she thought.
Wynn brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek. “After I confront a particular demon lord about murdering my daughter …” His eyes dropped to her lips, and hunger flared.
She pulled his face to hers for a hungry, quick kiss. “Hurry up,” she said and stepped back.
Wynn summoned a portal.
Karma’s eyes didn’t leave his lean frame until he disappeared. Her emotions were contained, not because of her effort, but because Wynn’s touch had centered her.
She stood in the middle of the field, surrounded by the corpses she’d created and smiled widely, unconcerned with anything but the idea her mate cared enough to want to spend his life with her. The day she’d expected to be her last was becoming her first in a new life instead.
“Um, I have to tell you something,” Deidre said from behind her.
Karma twirled in a circle, ecstatic. “It’s the best day of my life!” she exclaimed.
“I see that. I think.” The queen of Hell stood to the side, observing the destruction with a grimace. Gabriel had disappeared. “I’m here for a different reason. You once challenged the Dark One long ago. I think that’s why your brother threw you in prison.”
Karma’s smile faded. “But today’s the best day of my life,” she murmured, unable to fathom her life and world ending when things were just starting to go right. A flicker of uneasiness ignited within her.
“There’s a reason it has to be now,” Deidre told her.
“No. It can wait half an eternity.”
“It really can’t.”
“Fuck!” Karma began to pace, furious with herself for not understanding the consequences of the challenge she’d made long ago.
“Don’t you want to know why?”
“I don’t give a fuck!”
Deidre laughed. “Karma, I’m the Dark One. But Darkyn can regain his position anytime he feels like it. So … you should balance me instead of taking your chances with him.”
Karma stared at Deidre. The demoness glowed with darkness rather than with the shimmer of other deities, but so did all demons in the human world.
Deidre said and offered her hand. “Balance me, Karma, and your challenge to the Dark One will be fulfilled.”
“You’re serious?” Karma asked in disbelief.
“I am.” Deidre smiled. “You can’t tell anyone, though. Only Gabe and your brother know. And Wynn.”
Karma drew nearer to the tiny demoness, entertained by the thought of the most innocent soul in Hell being in charge.
“He must love you to give you Hell,” she murmured.
Deidre beamed. “He does. It’s difficult to love a complicated man, which I’m sure you’ll discover. But it’s so worth it, too. When someone like that loves you, you never have to wonder if he’ll change their mind, or if his feelings will fade, or if he settled. Someone like Darkyn or Wynn devotes himself completely, no exceptions.”
Karma smiled, loving the picture Deidre’s words painted.
“I’ve got some business to attend to,” Deidre added and held out her hand. “Balance me, Karma.”
Karma slid her hand into Deidre’s.
The demoness was the only pure soul in Hell – and one of the few in any world. Her balancing required less than two breaths of Karma’s time.
Karma released her. The demoness smiled.
“You and Wynn have a fresh start,” Deidre said. “That’s my wedding present.”
Karma began to smile again.
“Your brother needs you. You should go.”
“He’s free?”
“He is,” Deidre replied.
Thrilled, Karma didn’t stick around to ask any details but summoned a portal and crossed through. When she emerged, she was in Stephanie’s chamber. Her eyes fell to the prone form on the bed, and she gasped.
Her brother was unconscious, pale beneath his golden skin, his breathing ragged.
Karma dropped onto the bed beside him. “Shai!” she said and shook him.
He didn’t wake up.
Guilt assailed her. Wynn had said Stephanie was in Hell. Was this causing her brother’s condition? Was his weaker human body capable of handling a broken bond?
She’d judged her brother before understanding the nuances of balancing, and how each soul was different and required a different level of balance.
Karma gripped his arm in both her hands.
For the first time in her career as a deity, she peered into someone else’s soul for a second time.
His misdeeds, which she believed had outweighed his good deeds upon her first evaluation, took on new meaning, when she factored in not only his duty but also his heart and the ultimate impact on good or evil.
Her brother was selfless. Yes, he had committed much wrong in his life, but it had never been for his own sake. He’d sacrificed his own balance and beliefs for a greater cause – to help shape the Future in a way that protected and helped others. He had never hurt anyone, unless the Future depended upon it. The withering part of his soul, which she’d witnessed the first time she’d balanced him, had begun to bloom again.
Stephanie’s existence would have changed her brother, no matter what. But it was stripping him of his godly indifference that left him vulnerable to remembering why he mattered, and why he should care.
Karma sat back, chewing on her lower lip.
After her interactions with deities, she didn’t care if she’d misjudged them, and demons would always deserve death, as far as she was concerned.
But how many Immortals and humans had she balanced too harshly? Without truly understanding what was in their souls? Without considering the context and good that could have come from actions she otherwise would’ve punished them for?
“What would balance you?” she asked her brother, speaking to the soul that revealed itself without hesitation.
The answer, more of a feeling than words, made her smile, not only because she’d already decided the same, but because she’d never viewed her duty as a conversation with a soul. She’d never discussed what a soul needed to return to its own unique alignment, and she was delighted when her brother’s soul responded.
“Agreed,” she said. “You are balanced, brother.” A faint pulse of power shifted from her to him, and she released him.
Fate began to glow once more with the faint aura of a deity.
“Wake your ass up!” She snapped and smacked his cheek.
“What the …” Fate’s eyes opened, and he sat, disoriented. He grimaced. “Forty two percent chance you’ll slap me again.” His eyes found her.
Karma hugged him. He grunted and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m so sorry!” she said with a sigh. “I judged you too harshly.”
“I’m not about to argue with you.” Pain was in his voice, despite the return of his powers. “Stephanie …”
“Wynn went to save her.”
“He’s going to need help.”
Karma released her brother. “Why didn’t you tell me about Wynn?” she demanded.
Fate smiled at her. He shifted to the edge of the bed.
“You have to tell me, Shai.”
“You’re my sister,” he said and straightened. His hypnotic eyes were turning colors as fast as her hair. “Had I understood how I should’ve acted towards you, or the strength of a mating bond … there are a lot of things I’d have done differently.”
“I understand that feeling,” she murmured.
“I’m sorry for interfering.” Fate paused. “I’m also grateful you judged me as harshly as you did. I told myself I was respecting free will but the truth was, I stopped caring long ago. People like you and Stephanie and every other being in existence deserve better.”
“I can think of a few gods you need to fuck over.”
“Oh, I intend to,” he said, a familiar cunning gleam in his eyes. “Deities are always fair game, especially those who took advantage of you and Stephanie.”
“I can fight my own battles,” she replied. “If I fuck up too many people, then Wynn can fix that shit.”
Fate laughed. “If anyone can, he can,” he agreed. “If you hadn’t balanced me, I wouldn’t be able to become a better person and more compassionate god. I learned what it means to be powerless to help those around me, myself, and the Future. I need to balance free will with my duty more responsibly.”
“I did help you,” she said softly.
“Absolutely.” Fate stood. “But right now, I have to have a word with Darkyn.”
Karma watched him leave, content she hadn’t screwed over everyone she balanced.
The day she didn’t think she would survive was definitely becoming the best day of her life.