Ryder had just turned off the TV, ready to take off in search of a grill, when Joey came through the door and headed straight to her bedroom. It didn’t take a genius to tell she was upset about something.
He deliberated for a few minutes, not wanting to get involved in whatever her problem was. But in the end, a sense of humanity he didn’t know he had won out and he knocked on her door. “You okay?”
There was a long pause, and then in a faint voice, she said, “Yes.”
He was about to walk away, satisfied that he’d done the right thing and was now absolved from giving a shit. Instead, like an idiot, he knocked again. “Everything okay with your daughter?”
A beat later, she opened the door. “Roni is fine. Thank you for asking.”
He tried to pretend that he didn’t see the dried tears on her cheeks. Besides being a fucking recovering pill popper, it turned out she was also a head case. Why me?
“I’m off to buy a barbecue, so you’ve got the place to yourself.” He started to back away, then remembered he’d never given her a key to the house. “Hang on a sec.”
He went out to his truck and returned with the spare. “Here you go. It works for both the front and back door locks.”
“Thanks.”
He was halfway out when he turned around. “You want to come?” He needed to get his goddamn head examined. Say no. Please say no.
“Uh…okay.”
Great!
“Let’s roll, then.”
They were on their way to Farm Supply when she opened up. “My ex-husband wants me to come to his wedding.”
“So? If you don’t want to go, don’t go.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yeah, it is.” He gave her a sideways glance, acutely conscious that the invite was the source of her crappy mood. “Why does he want you to come, anyway? Clearly, you’re not over the dude. It seems kind of sadistic of him to ask that of you.”
“I’m over him. This has nothing to do with it.”
Bullshit, he thought to himself. “Then, what’s the problem? Go to the damn wedding.”
“It’s so Roni will see us as one big happy family. Of course, I’m not really part of their family. So, where does that leave me with my daughter?”
“As her mother.”
“You know where my daughter is right now?”
He didn’t have the foggiest notion, but he was sure she was going to tell him. “Where?” he asked, resigned.
“With Brynn for her wedding dress fitting. Today is my day. My day.” Her voice trembled. “I live for the weekends when I can see her. And yet, they…Brynn…had no hesitation taking her for the day.”
“Did you tell your ex not to do it again? That you have rights.”
She started to reply, then stopped herself. “I’m overreacting. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?” Jesus, why was he letting her suck him into her drama?
“I feel like I’m losing my daughter. That they have everything to offer her—a big house, a family, a damn trip to Hawaii—and I have nothing.”
He pulled into the Farm Supply lot, cut his engine, and turned to her. “Nope. No one can ever take the place of a mother. Not a house and not a trip to Hawaii.” He was living proof of that.
She reached into her purse, pulled out a mini pack of tissues, and blotted her eyes. Even an ugly smudge of black mascara couldn’t mar her pretty face. Shit. First thing Monday, he had to tell Janine that he didn’t care if she turned the state upside down. She had to find someone else.
“Ready to go inside?” he asked.
“Uh-huh. You must think I’m a total whack job.”
“Yeah, a little bit.” He grinned.
She laughed. But it came out like a snort, and she wiped her nose. “Whatever you think of me, I want you to know one thing. I’m really good at what I do. My patients always come first. I’m not just saying it to keep my job. It’s the God’s honest truth.”
He didn’t know why, but he believed her. Still, it didn’t change the fact that she got under his skin. From the first day he’d seen her sitting alone in the Ponderosa, she’d captivated him. And that wasn’t going to work. Not even a little bit.
“Let’s go.” He hopped out of the cab and didn’t bother to wait for her to catch up.
The barbecues were outside, lining the exterior wall of the building. He inspected the different ones, looking specifically for a smoker. It had been a long time since he’d owned a barbecue. At the trailer park, he sometimes borrowed his neighbor’s hibachi. Now he wanted to go full-hog, even if it meant shelling out some serious dough.
“What kind are you looking for?” Joey was back, and she’d cleaned her face.
“A smoker that has enough grill space to feed a crowd.” Perhaps one of these days he’d invite Lucky and his family over for dinner.
Other than the Rodriguezes, he didn’t know anyone well enough in Nugget to have over for a barbecue. For a long time, he’d avoided making friends or having any kind of close ties. He wasn’t ready to change that, but it didn’t hurt to occasionally feed his neighbors.
“My dad has this one. Swears by it.”
It was a twelve-hundred-dollar smoker. He read the laminated card with the grill’s features. The damn thing even had Wi-Fi, allowing you to control the heat from your phone. A little overkill, but hard to resist. He could start up the smoker before he even got home. Hot dog.
He examined a few of the cheaper models, but the pricier one kept calling his name. “What does your dad like about it?”
“The temperature’s consistent, and the end result is delicious.”
“Hmm, then I say we bring this bad boy home.”
She smiled, her whole face lighting up. It stopped him in his tracks. A man could easily fall into a smile like that and drown.
“I’ll go inside and pay,” he said and rushed away.
Grace, the owner, was at the counter. Ryder had only met her a few times but she always remembered him.
“What kind of trouble are you up to today, Miss Grace?” He winked.
“Oh, just the usual trouble. How’s the old Montgomery place treating you? I heard Colin Burke was by and refinished the floors. He said the house is shaping up nicely.”
“So far, so good.”
Out of the side of his eye, he saw Joey thumbing through the children’s clothing.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Grace said. “How can we help you today?”
He handed her the slip for the grill and slid his credit card across the counter. “You got one already built?”
“Because it’s you, you can take that one.”
“Why, Miss Grace, are you flirting with me?”
“Oh, honey, if I was only twenty years younger.”
He told her to add a sack of pellets to his bill as she ran the card.
“I don’t suppose you need help loading it up.”
“Nah, I can handle it.” He flexed his muscles.
Joey joined him at the counter, holding a frilly little denim skirt and a pink kid’s top. He said good-bye to Grace and went outside to load up the grill while Joey paid for her items. Ryder had just finished strapping the barbecue down when she came out of the store.
“For your daughter?” He nudged his head at her package.
“It’s not Hawaii, but Roni loves pink.”
It was all he could do not to roll his eyes at her obvious attempts to buy her kid’s love. But what the hell did he know? He’d never been a parent—never would be.
“You good to go?” He opened the passenger door for her.
“Ready when you are.”
“I’m anxious to fire this baby up. You like steak? Or are you one of those anti–red meat people?”
“My ex-husband is a cattle rancher. What do you think?”
He got on the road and headed home. Home. The idea of putting down roots still unsettled him. It made him feel guilty, he supposed, like he was finally moving on instead of holding on to the past with both arms.
“Next, you need some patio furniture,” Joey said. “It’s a perfect day for eating outside.”
He’d actually entertained the idea. “One thing at a time.” He glanced over at her. “It must’ve been tough leaving the Circle D. It’s a hell of a place.”
The comment seemed to confuse her for a beat. “Oh, no, I never lived there. Ethan and I lived in Reno. The Circle D has been in his family forever. After the divorce, we sold our place in Reno, and he decided to relocate to California and build on his family’s land.”
“How come your daughter lives with him and not you?” He supposed it made sense given her work. An in-home caregiver couldn’t be toting a kid around with her from job to job.
She sighed, and for a second Ryder thought she was going to tell him to mind his own business. It really wasn’t like him to ask probing questions, but she’d started it by dumping her problems on him.
“I spent six months in a residential rehab facility,” she said at last. “For consistency’s sake, Veronica stayed with Ethan when I got out. Now, I’m here, too.”
It certainly explained why she wanted this job so badly. He assumed with her credentials—she might not have a license, but she still had a nursing degree—she could probably name her job in Reno.
He swung into his driveway and made quick work of unloading the grill, which he set up in the backyard next to an electrical outlet near the kitchen door. Joey was right. The place could sure use some outdoor furniture. Even a picnic table.
Ryder read the instructions, and twenty minutes later he had the smoker preheating. Inside, Joey made a salad while he seasoned the meat.
“You like baked potatoes?” He’d grabbed a few while they were at the market, along with all the fixings.
“Love ’em. You want to throw them on the grill or bake them in the oven?”
“May as well use the grill.”
It was strange having her in his kitchen. His kitchen. That in and of itself was weird. For the most part, he ate in truck stops and restaurants. Occasionally, he’d nuke a can of soup in his camper’s microwave. This…well, it was making him feel claustrophobic.
He grabbed the potatoes out of the pantry and was just about to make a break for the yard when she took them from him.
“I’ll get them ready.”
He went out the back door and let himself breathe again, inhaling the fresh air. It was all he could do to stop the rush of memories. The sound of Leslie’s voice. The smell of her cooking.
I miss you, baby.
He walked away from the house, out to a grove of pine trees and did his best to exorcise the melancholy that had overtaken him. It happened less often now. But sometimes all it took was a song or a picture for him to sink into a downward spiral.
In this case, it was Joey.
Getting a grip on himself, he walked back to the house to find her standing over the grill.
“It’s too soon to put the steaks on,” she said. “The potatoes will take a while.” She’d wrapped them in foil and placed them on the upper rack of the barbecue.
He shut the lid. “I was thinking we could bring the table outside.” There was a cracked concrete slab outside the back door that passed for a patio. It would be better than being alone with her inside the house.
“Good idea. I’ll help you.”
Together, they carried it out. He brought two chairs, and she gathered up napkins, plates, and silverware.
“This is great.” She tipped her face up to the sun, and he had to look away.
“I’m gonna grab a beer. You want a soda or something?”
“A cola, please.”
He found both in the fridge and got a glass out of the cupboard for her. They sat at the table, enjoying their cold drinks.
“How’d you find this place?” She stared past the yard to the broken-down fence that separated his land from the forest.
“Real estate agent. I wanted something where I could keep my tractor trucks and trailers.” Renting space for them when they were out of service cost him an arm and a leg. Most of his drivers lived in apartments, where parking for an 18-wheeler wasn’t easy to come by.
“It has potential. The land is gorgeous.” She turned her head to the house.
“Yeah, the house not so much.”
“I don’t know about that. The outside definitely needs work. Some of the wood looks rotted, and it could use a paint job. Maybe something a little more cheerful than beige. But it could be cute. The wood floors inside are fantastic. And all the original trim gives the place character. It’s just small.”
He shrugged. “For you and my ma maybe. But it’s all I need.”
“Not if you start a family.”
“That won’t be a problem.” He got up and pretended to check on the potatoes.
She must’ve sensed that the conversation of family was off-limits because she didn’t press. “I suppose you could convert the two bedrooms into one large master.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. But yeah, it would be easy enough.” He’d been splitting his time between his fifth wheel and the sleeper in his semitruck so long that small spaces weren’t really an issue for him. But it wasn’t a bad idea when his mom moved out.
“What about you? Any plans to get a place?” She must’ve had money from the divorce.
“I’d like to. We don’t want to uproot Roni too much, so it would have to be here.”
“You don’t like it here?” Of every place he’d ever been, which was all over this great nation, Nugget appealed to him the most. The big trees, the rivers, the lakes, the mountains. It was the kind of place that lodged itself in a person’s gut and just stayed there.
“I do, but work isn’t exactly plentiful here. If I ever get…” she trailed off. But he suspected she was talking about her nursing career.
“Is there any chance of that…getting your license back?”
“I’m working on it,” she said. “My situation isn’t all that uncommon for people in my profession. But the board can be slow to respond.”
“Situation?” He scratched his chin. “You mean drug addiction?”
She nodded.
He supposed it was a casualty of the job, having exposure to prescription drugs all day long. After Leslie, he’d taken to drinking a hell of a lot more than he should. But it had never gotten to the point where it interfered with his job or he couldn’t just walk away from a bottle of booze.
“Can’t your ex help you out on that end?” He would think that a doctor might have pull. But his sole experience with the medical profession were rodeo docs and physical therapists.
“Like, could he have influence with the board?” Joey pulled a face. “No, it doesn’t work that way.”
He hitched his shoulders as if to say, What do I know? “Say you get it back. What then? You return to working in a hospital?”
“Maybe. I was thinking Plumas General Hospital in Quincy. Something not too far away. But, of course, I’d stay with your mom until she moves to her senior community,” she quickly amended.
She wouldn’t have to wait that long because he still planned to find someone else. “I think we can put the meat on now.”
“I’ll get it.” She started to get up, but he stopped her.
“I’ve got it.”
He retrieved the steaks from the house and put them on the grill. Next time, he’d start them at a lower heat and leave them on the grill longer to maximize smokiness. But for now, he was too damn hungry to wait.
Joey got them more drinks and set out the salad. They couldn’t have asked for better weather. And although he preferred his solitude, having a dinner guest was a nice way to christen the new place. More importantly, they seemed to have shed any residual embarrassment with each other over the kiss. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t still think about it.
“How do you like yours?” He flipped the meat over.
“Rare.”
“Good girl.”
She gave him a murderous glare, and he grinned, remembering one of the first times they’d crossed paths at the Ponderosa. He’d made the mistake of commenting about how good it was to see a woman unafraid to eat a big piece of pie. Her response was to rip him a new asshole. Basically, she’d called him a chauvinist.
He pressed the meat with his finger. “Two rare steaks coming right up.”
It was a damn good meal, considering they’d whipped it up on the fly. “Not bad, huh?”
“Delicious.” She filled her fork with baked potato.
“Too bad we don’t have anything for dessert, like pie.” He winked. “I know how you love your pie.”
She gave him the finger and went back to her steak.
The sound of truck wheels on his gravel driveway got his attention. “You expecting anyone?” he asked Joey, who shook her head.
He walked around to the front of the house, where an old Ford pickup came up the hill. Ryder didn’t recognize it, nor could he make out the driver. There was a dog in the bed of the truck, sticking its head out to catch the wind.
The Ford stopped short behind Ryder’s Ram, and Ethan Daniels, holding a big bouquet of flowers, got out. He opened the back door of his pickup, and a little girl scrambled down the running board. She was a carbon copy of Joey.
The kid, blond hair flapping in the wind, ran across his front yard, her arms held wide. “Mommy, Mommy!”
“Roni.” Joey, who had come up behind him, swept the girl up in her arms.
The dog started barking. Daniels yelled something at it, and the hound shut up.
He stuck his hand out to Ryder. “Ethan Daniels. We met last spring when you came to the Circle D to haul my cattle.”
“Good to see you again.”
“Great place you’ve got here. I hope we’re not interrupting anything.”
“Nope. We just finished dinner.”
“Roni wanted to surprise Joey.” He held up the flowers. “Congratulate her on her new gig. We won’t be long.”
“Take your time,” Ryder said. “Beers and soft drinks are in the fridge.”
As he headed to his camper to let them visit in private, he watched the trio huddle together. The kid had her arms flung around Joey’s waist while Ethan gave his ex-wife a hug.
So, Ethan Daniels with his bundle of flowers the size of the rain forest was the ogre trying to steal Joey’s daughter. He rolled his eyes and climbed into his fifth wheel.