Joey pulled over to the side of the road, grabbed a wad of tissues from the dispenser on her visor, and blotted her face. It wasn’t a particularly hot day, but she was sweating like she’d spent forty minutes on a treadmill, going full speed.
Ryder Knight. Damn.
Twelve months ago, he’d simply been Matthew freaking McConaughey, the silly name she’d given him because he looked a little like the movie star. A tall, lanky, broad-shouldered cowboy with pale blue eyes and a square jaw. Well, to be truthful, he was better-looking than the real Matthew McConaughey. And probably a better kisser, if she had to guess.
After initiating a brazen make-out session with him in the middle of downtown Nugget—one that had left her feeling more than a little exposed—she’d hoped to never see him again. For months, she’d stayed awake at night, fantasizing about that kiss. And wondering what the hell was wrong with her. The man had been a total stranger. Someone she’d flirted with in a bar while trying to get over her ex-husband.
And there he was today in all his virile glory, standing between her and the best job Nugget had to offer someone with her qualifications. Wasn’t that just her shitty life these days?
If she didn’t get the job, she’d have to find something in Reno, nearly an hour away. Too far from Veronica’s school for overnights on the weekdays. After months of pressing, Ethan had finally agreed to let up on the court order that gave him full custody, allowing Joey to take Roni a few nights a week. Ethan’s only caveat was that Joey got a place nearby, so Roni wouldn’t be uprooted. Fair, and the best thing for their daughter. But she couldn’t move here without employment. In Reno, she lived with her parents. Free.
Ethan gave her alimony, but after monthly student loan and car payments, there wasn’t enough left over for her to be a woman of leisure. Then, there was the small matter that she needed to work to feel useful again. To build her self-esteem. It was key for a recovering drug addict.
She nosed back onto the highway, wondering where she could kill time until Roni got out of school. They had a mommy-daughter dinner date. Ordinarily, she would’ve headed over to the Circle D Ranch and hung out there. But Ethan’s fiancée lived with him now. She and Brynn were still navigating the whole “he was mine first” road.
She settled on Farm Supply. The feed store was the closest thing Nugget had to a Macy’s. Joey figured she could blow an hour or so, trying on clothes. In the parking lot, she called Comfort Keepers, even though it felt a little desperate.
“Hey, Janine, it’s Joey Nix.”
“Hi, Joey. How did the interview go?”
“Good.” If you counted the fact that it could’ve been way weirder than it was. All things considered, Ryder had been mostly professional. “I was just wondering if perhaps Mr. Knight had called with a decision.” He’d said he needed a few nights to think it over. But in her deluded dreams, he was so blown away by her credentials that he was afraid of losing her to another employer.
“I’ve been out, hon, and haven’t checked my messages. But I’ll call you as soon as I hear something. In the meantime, I have an opening in Sparks. An eighty-four-year-old man who is experiencing early stages of dementia. His daughter is meeting with candidates tomorrow. Should I book you a slot?”
Sparks was more than an hour away from Nugget. “I think I’ll wait to see what happens with this job, Janine. I really want to stay in the area. But thanks for thinking of me.”
“Of course. It’s not every day we get employees with advanced nursing degrees.”
Joey imagined not, since the pay was roughly a quarter of what she’d made at Renown Children’s Hospital. But you couldn’t be a nurse without a license. Hers had been suspended for injecting herself with the narcotic waste she was supposed to be dumping at the end of her shift. And then there was the small matter of her forging Ethan’s name on scripts for opioid analgesics. Like the saying went, “Go big or go home.” Or in Joey’s case, a rehab facility in the desert.
She got out of the car and crossed the lot. Rocking chairs lined the front porch of the store. A display of barbecues stood off to one side, next to an elaborate chicken coop. On the other side was a small nursery, popping with bursts of color from the flats of flowers.
The place was crowded for a weekday afternoon. Two toddlers stood by a cage filled with chicks, sticking their fingers between the wire mesh, trying to touch the birds’ downy feathers. The sight of it made her ovaries tingle.
She headed straight for the clothing department. For a small-town feed store, it had a great selection. About ten different brands of jeans, racks of dresses, and a variety of Western shirts. They even had footwear—and not just cowboy boots.
Joey browsed through the sales rack. She really shouldn’t be spending money, but she told herself there was nothing wrong with looking. A woman she vaguely recognized was pawing through the jeans. Joey tried to place her but couldn’t remember where she knew her from.
“Oh, hi,” the woman said when she caught Joey glancing at her. “You’re Roni’s mom.”
“I am, and you’re…”
The woman smiled. “Annie Jenkins. I own the farm stand up the road.”
“That’s right.” Joey had been in the store several times with Roni, who loved running down the aisles, eating the free samples. “You have a daughter, too, as I recall.”
“Emerson. She’s with her dad today.” Annie beamed. “Raylene’s minding the store to give me a little break. I can finally fit into jeans without an elastic waistband and thought I’d check out the offerings, though I hate the idea of buying new. I’m a thrift store kind of woman.”
Not Joey. She had a closet full of designer jeans left over from her days of being the wife of a renowned surgeon. Back then, even she made close to six figures and spent it like a drunken sailor.
“Where’s the closest thrift store?” she asked.
“Quincy. The week before Easter, the Catholic church on Pine holds a rummage sale. But other than that, it’s either Reno or Sacramento. Too far for one pair of jeans, so I thought I’d take a peek. Grace’s daughter is the buyer and has great taste.”
Joey had no idea who Grace was but nodded as she joined Annie in sorting through the jeans. “These are cute.” She held up a pair with rhinestones on the back.
“Too blingy for me. But they are adorable. So, do you live in Nugget?”
Joey shook her head. “Reno. But I just interviewed for a job here. If I get it, I’ll be relocating.”
“What’s the job, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Not at all. In-home care. That’s probably all I should say about it because of privacy rules.”
Annie wore a knowing smile. “For the mother of the guy who just bought the place next to Darla and Wyatt’s house, right? I think the guy is a trucker. Anyway, he’s friends with Lucky Rodriguez. I think they used to ride in the rodeo together.”
Ryder rode in the rodeo? Why was she not surprised? The first time she’d met him, he was glued to the television at the Ponderosa, watching professional bull riding. As far as she was concerned, it was among the stupidest sports in the world. Eight death-defying seconds for a meager purse and only if a cowboy was lucky enough to win. Sure, the guys who made it to the big leagues made millions. But in comparison to other sports, the earnings were chump change.
And Joey would bet everything she had that Ryder Knight had never made it to the big leagues.
“According to the Nugget gossip mill, his mom had a stroke and is coming to live with him as soon as he gets the house ready,” Annie continued.
Joey just smiled because she really wasn’t at liberty to say more.
“Who’s Lucky Rodriguez?” she asked, hoping to change the subject.
“He’s a world champion bull rider and owns a dude ranch in Nugget that caters to corporate types. His wife, Tawny, makes gorgeous custom cowboy boots. Her clients include Mick Jagger and Beyoncé. You should check out her studio. She has racks of seconds she sells. They’re not cheap, but they’re amazing.”
Joey wasn’t in the market for boots, just a job and a place where she could live close to her daughter. But she was mildly curious. Who knew Nugget had a designer who catered to the rich and famous?
“Where is it?”
Annie gave her directions, and Joey made a mental note to check out the place the next time she was here and needed to kill time. She was dying to ask Annie more about Ryder, who apparently was a topic of conversation in town, but didn’t want to seem too interested. She told herself it was for professional reasons, even though she knew better.
“How long have you had the farm stand?” she asked instead. The country store was charming and filled with local gourmet products, flowers, wreaths, and even kitchenware. When she first visited the stand with Roni, she didn’t know how a place like that could make it in such a small town. But every time she’d gone since, the stand was crowded with customers.
“A little over two years now. It’s done so well that I’m branching out with an online store. Brynn Barnes…uh, I guess you know Brynn.”
Joey tried not to gnash her teeth. “Yep. What about Brynn?”
“She’s helping me with the advertising side of it.”
Of course she was. Perfect Saint Brynn. Okay, that was unfair. Brynn was a nice person, who’d had more loss and heartache than anyone should ever have to endure. She also happened to be the love of Ethan’s life. And although Joey wasn’t in love with her ex, she never really got over the husband-and-wife bond she’d had with Ethan. The finishing each other’s sentences, the bad habits that she secretly found endearing, and the closeness they’d shared. The worst part was that Roni woke up in the same house as Brynn every day instead of with Joey.
That was Joey’s fault, not Brynn’s. But it still left a gaping hole in her heart and a modicum of unintentional resentment. And a truckload of guilt and regret.
“That’s great,” Joey told Annie. She was genuinely happy for her. “I’m rooting for your success. It’s a wonderful store. If I move here, you can bet I’ll be a regular.”
“I hope you get the job. And in case you couldn’t tell, I adore your little girl. She’s such a sweetie pie.”
Joey’s chest expanded with pride. The one thing she’d done right in this world was Veronica. Though she owed Ethan much of the credit. He and his stepmother, Alma, had raised her during the years Joey had struggled with addiction. But now she was back in her daughter’s life to stay.
On her way to Nugget Elementary, she took a detour to the market and bought Roni a cupcake. In general, she wasn’t a dessert-before-dinner kind of mom. But occasionally it didn’t hurt to indulge. At least that’s what she told herself. Later, she would let herself wonder if she used treats and presents as a way to buy Roni’s love. Deep down inside, she knew her daughter adored her, but it was difficult keeping up with Ethan and Brynn, who could offer Roni ten times more than Joey could.
A trail of cars had already lined up at the curb of Roni’s school. Joey joined the queue and kept her eyes peeled for a towheaded seven-year-old. A few vehicles ahead of her sat Brynn’s minivan. Brynn stood outside on the grassy lawn, chatting with a group of women. As usual, she was completely put together in a tailored skirt, white blouse, and knee-high designer boots. It was her New York City wardrobe, Joey assumed. Yet, in its elegant simplicity, it worked in a country town the size of a postage stamp. Her dark hair was tied back in a smooth ponytail that would’ve taken Joey hours to perfect but on Brynn appeared effortless.
Joey watched Brynn’s easy way with the other women and felt a wave of envy wash over her. It wasn’t enough that she was beautiful and accomplished, she was clearly also popular with the other moms. Popular. It was such a ridiculous thing for Joey to be jealous of. Her high school days were long past, yet here she was, bemoaning the fact that someone else was homecoming queen.
But before the pills, before the stealing and the lying, Joey had been well-liked by the other nurses at the hospital, the moms at Roni’s preschool, and the neighbors in their planned community in Reno. She’d been invited to all the happy hours, parties, and potlucks and had often played hostess.
But after being strung out on opioids, she’d become a disheveled mess, living for her next fix, forsaking her friendships. Even now that she was clean, it was too awkward and humiliating to rekindle any of her old relationships. For the most part, she stuck to herself.
Her parents had been a great support. And although her brother, Jay, was a competitive blowhard, he’d been good to her throughout her ordeal, even offering to pay for an attorney to fight Ethan for shared custody of Roni. Thank goodness they’d avoided a court battle and had worked things out on their own.
Brynn caught a glimpse of Joey and waved. Joey waved back, hoping that it fulfilled any further obligation. But nooooo. Brynn came walking over to say hello.
It would’ve been rude to remain in the car, so Joey got out and self-consciously let Brynn hug her. “How’s Henry?” she asked lamely. She’d seen Brynn’s nine-year-old just a few days ago while picking up Roni. He was a sweet little boy and had been Ethan’s patient after an accident had crushed both his femoral shafts.
“Great. You can say hi when you get Roni. How’d the job interview go? Ethan said it sounded promising.”
It had been promising until she’d found out her interviewer was none other than kiss buddy Matthew McConaughey. Now who knew? Though she was banking on the prospect that Nugget had a dearth of qualified candidates. And that judging by Ryder’s kissing skills, he got around and wasn’t as freaked out about their brief encounter as she’d been. Besides, she’d be working for his mother, not him.
“We’ll see.” She tried to sound optimistic.
“And the living situation…that would work?”
The place had been a dump. Old, dirty, and tiny. But its proximity to Roni couldn’t be beat. “Uh-huh. And it’s only a few miles from the Circle D.” So, we’ll all be one big, happy family.
“That’s terrific,” Brynn said. “I’m keeping my fingers crossed.”
“Thank you. But if it doesn’t work out, I’m sure I’ll find something else.”
“Absolutely,” Brynn said brightly. She was trying too hard.
Joey gave her credit, though. Not every woman pulled off magnanimous with such aplomb. Then again, Brynn—a wealthy woman in her own right—had landed Ethan, his ranch, and his spectacular home. She could afford to be magnanimous.
“Where are you and Roni going for dinner?”
There were only two choices if they wanted to stay in Nugget. “Probably the Ponderosa. Unless Roni wants a burger.”
“She had one last night,” Brynn blurted, then quickly fell silent.
“Oh. Well, then, the Ponderosa for sure.” It took all of Joey’s willpower not to add sarcastically, “Unless you took my daughter there for breakfast.”
Over Brynn’s shoulder, Joey spotted Roni running toward them. Henry was close behind. Both of them looked so happy that it made her momentarily forget her resentment.
“Mommy!” Roni wrapped her arms around Joey’s waist.
“Hey, pretty girl, how was school?” She reached for Henry to bring him into the huddle, and like Roni, he gave her a great big hug. He was walking so well; she hadn’t even noticed a limp. Her ex was a brilliant surgeon, so she wasn’t surprised, despite Henry’s massive injuries.
“I thought we could go hang out in the square for a little while before dinner,” she told Roni. It was still too early for dinner, and they didn’t have anywhere else to go. “What do you think?”
“Can Henry come?”
Brynn exchanged an apologetic glance with Joey. “Oh, that’s so sweet of you, Roni. But Henry’s got homework and chores.”
“I could do them later,” he said and looked from Brynn to Joey imploringly.
The kid went straight to her heart. She didn’t want to countermand Brynn, but Henry was welcome to join them. Trying to be sly about it, she gave Brynn a nod to let her know it was okay if Henry came along.
But Brynn ruffled his hair and said, “Next time, buddy.”
Joey wondered if Brynn didn’t trust her with her kid or if she was simply trying to give her alone time with Roni. She tried not to dwell on it. This was all about spending time with her daughter, not Brynn Barnes.
Joey and Roni headed to the park in the middle of the square. There were a few benches and a gazebo, but no playground, not even a swing set. Other than running around on the grass, there wasn’t a whole lot for a kid to do.
“I brought a snack.” Joey parked the car and presented Roni with the cupcake she’d bought at the store. “How ’bout you eat half now and we’ll save the rest for after dinner?”
“Is it vanilla?” Roni peeled back the paper.
“Of course it is. Your favorite. Let me split it in half, and we’ll keep the other half right here.” Joey patted the passenger seat. “You want to eat outside and walk around?”
“Okay.” Roni released her seat belt and jumped out of the car.
“Be careful, Roni. We’re in a parking lot.” Joey got out and went around to Roni’s side, and then handed her a slice of the cupcake and a couple of napkins she kept on hand in the glove box.
They strolled around the perimeter of the greenbelt, Roni eating and talking a million miles a minute.
“Mommy, can you get a house here with a swimming pool?”
Joey laughed. From what she’d seen at Ryder Knight’s house, she’d be lucky to have running water. “Geema and Geepa and your grandma Alma have pools. We don’t need another one.”
“They’re so far away, Mommy.”
“It’s only Reno, baby. Plus, there’s a river and a lake here.” And someone had told her there was a millpond in the neighboring town. This summer they’d have to go.
“We’re going to have a pool in Hawaii and a giant ocean.”
Joey jerked her head up. “Hawaii? Is Daddy taking you to Hawaii?”
“For his and Brynn’s moon.”
“You mean honeymoon.” She wiped pink frosting from Roni’s mouth with one of the napkins. “You guys are going to Hawaii?” It was the first she’d heard of it, but she wasn’t exactly in the loop.
“Daddy and Brynn are going first. And then me, Henry, and Grandma are meeting them for a vacation in a big hotel with three swimming pools and a million restaurants. Daddy said me and Henry can order whatever we want, and we might see dolphins.”
“How fun, Roni.” And how nice of Ethan to let her know. “Maybe you and I should go on a vacation, too.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Not only didn’t she have disposable cash for dolphins and fancy hotels, but a new job didn’t allow for time off.
“Disneyland!” Roni jumped up and down.
She and Ethan had taken her when she was three, barely old enough for her to remember. “Good idea.” She tossed Roni’s cupcake wrapper in the trash and rummaged through her purse for a wet wipe. “Maybe before you go back to school.” At least that would buy her a little time and give her a chance to win the lottery.
They managed to burn another hour and then had a nice dinner at the Ponderosa, where Roni told her about her day at school, including a story about a girl who fell off the monkey bars and broke her knee.
“Do you think Daddy can fix it?” Roni asked as Joey drove her home.
“Are you sure it’s broken and not just bruised?”
Roni shrugged. “A bunch of blood came out.”
“Well, if it’s truly broken, Daddy can fix it. But she probably has her own doctor.”
It was still daylight as she took the turn to the Circle D Ranch. She edged up the paved driveway and admired the array of flowers blooming on both sides of the road. She couldn’t tell if they were wild or had been planted, but all the lovely colors—blues, violets, pinks, whites, and oranges—were incredible. The whole ranch was.
Ethan, normally a barebones kind of guy, had spared no expense. The house with all its picture windows was something you’d see on one of those home shows. The horse barn was better than most people’s houses. And the grounds were spectacular. Dense with trees and green rolling hills and a bird’s-eye view of the Feather River, which wound its way through the property. It was nothing like the suburban tract home he and Joey had shared in Reno.
The cozy sight of Ethan and Brynn, drinking wine on the front porch, greeted her as she crested the hill. Henry was in the front yard, playing fetch with Simba, the dog she and Ethan had raised from a pup. The whole picture was like a still shot from a Hallmark movie.
“’Bye, Mommy.” Roni jumped out of the car, even before Joey could kiss her good-bye, scampering off to join the fun. To join her new family.
With a lump in her throat, Joey unrolled her window, shouted good-bye, waved to Ethan and Brynn, and hung a U-turn, hauling ass out of there as fast as she could fly. The whole way back to Reno she cried.