The next day at lunch, Mara walked down to the park, and sat on a bench, her usual spot unless it was raining. She ate a sandwich she’d prepared at home, along with some chips. The park was packed full of people. Some of them had babies or little kids with them. Some sat alone with an e-reader or book. Some were on bicycles or scooters or just walking.
It was hot but not humid and Mara took a couple of pictures on her phone, loving the vivid blue of the sky. The leaves in the trees whispered with each gust of air and she felt relaxed for the first time all day.
“Hey.”
She put her phone down, seeing Gray wandering over. He looked fantastic in a tight white tee and white and black basketball shorts. He had another baseball cap on his head, turned backwards, and black sneakers on.
“Hey.” She bit her sandwich, trying to behave normally although her heart had lurched. So much for relaxing.
He sat on the bench next to her and stared at a few people walking by.
“So this is where you wander off to every day.”
She nodded. Had he actually wondered about where she was? Had he followed her?
“I like it here,” She said simply.
“Me too.”
“Where’s your lunch?” She asked, finishing her sandwich. She popped open a can of soda and sipped.
“I ate a few slices of pizza already.”
“A few?” She teased, widening her eyes as if he’d said something horrifying.
“Pizza is my weakness. I’ll burn it off later.”
She smiled and continued to take small sips from her soda.
“So, Mara,” He said, turning to face her. “I really want to take you out.”
She shook her head, “Gray-”
“Give me a chance,” He cut her off. “I don’t know what he did to you but I’m not him. I know how to treat a lady.”
“I can’t, Gray,” She said, “It’s not even about you. It’s about me.”
“Do you know what I did last night?” He asked, sounding exasperated. “I went home and jerked off. I haven’t done that in years!”
Her mouth dropped open, stunned at his confession.
“I kept thinking about you in that thong,” He said, lowering his voice. "And I went crazy. You might as well have not even bothered wearing those little pants.”
“Leggings,” She corrected stupidly.
“Give me a chance,” He repeated, reaching for her hand.
She jumped up.
“I just can’t,” She said, tempted more than she would have thought possible. “Even if I wanted to get into a relationship, which I don’t… My sister likes you. I could never hurt her like that.”
“Your sister?” His hazel eyes opened wide. “Marlene likes me?”
“How could you not know?” Mara laughed without humor. “She’s been kind of obvious about it, I think.”
“I didn’t know.” He shook his head and stared at Mara, eyeing her from head to toe.
She suddenly felt uncomfortable in her navy blue short sleeved shirt and white capri pants.
He put his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him, taking her breath away.
“I don’t want her,” He whispered, “I want you.”
His hands on her were like hot brands and she felt her nipples perk up against the soft cotton of her bra.
“I-I can’t d-do this with you,” She stammered, pulling away and practically running down the crowded street.
She was panting by the time she reached Family Convenience. She stood a few stores down so that Joe and Ellie wouldn’t see her until she’d calmed down. Through the throngs of people wandering the busy streets, she saw Gray slowly approaching. She hurriedly entered the store, trying to appear normal. But it was hot out and she was sweaty.
She used the last few minutes of her break to freshen up as best she could in the employee bathroom. She splashed cold water onto her face and arms and redid her ponytail. She kneeled under the hand dryer in an effort to dry her moist armpits but it only made her hotter.
Feeling slightly better, she went back to work, careful to avoid Gray. It wasn’t very hard. Soon it was obvious that he was trying to avoid her too. She thought grimly that it was for the best and tried to focus on her work.
On the night of Ellie and Joe’s anniversary party, Mara wisely stayed home, pretending she had a headache. She didn’t want to see Gray outside of work ever again. She liked him too much. It annoyed her how her terrible experience with Marc seemed to fade away when Gray was around. The lessons that Marc had taught her were lessons that she could not allow herself to forget.
In the couple of weeks that had passed since his confession, they’d been very professional with each other and nothing more. She knew it was important that they never cross the line of being coworkers. But she still felt bad because she was obviously very attracted and so was he.
Sitting alone in her room, Mara tried to watch television. The party was in a nearby hall and her mother had told her to come if she started to feel any better. But Mara knew that she wouldn’t go anywhere near the place. She was thankful that it was Friday and she was off the next few days. Joe and Ellie had closed the store early that day and were going away once the party was over.
She needed the time to herself. She needed to remind herself of the importance of keeping her distance from Gray or any other guy that might come along.
She watched music videos for a while and then scrolled through the channels hoping to find a movie. On one of the premium channels, a romantic comedy she’d seen before played and she settled down to watch it. Although she’d enjoyed it before, she couldn’t laugh at the funny parts, distracted by her thoughts.
She wondered if Gray would make love as well as Marc had. Although she’d been sickened to learn that Marc was her brother, before she’d known they were related she’d loved jumping into bed with him. Although she didn’t look back on those times fondly, knowing what she now knew, she loved sex and missed it.
She thought about Gray telling her that he’d jerked off. She’d never been so flattered by anything in her life. It was something that she’d never thought to even try but now she became curious. Could she find a way to please herself? She decided to find out.
She took her pajama pants off, then removed her panties. She started to take her shirt off then decided she didn’t want to be completely naked. If someone came home and knocked on her door, she didn’t want to take too long to dress again.
She got out of the bed and locked her door, then turned off the TV and the light. Climbing into her bed, she pulled the blankets up all the way over her head, her breathing uneven as she contemplated what she was about to do.
Would it be pathetic? Or was she taking charge of herself? She pushed away her thoughts and wondered where she should start.
Closing her eyes, she cupped her own breasts, gently squeezing them. Her nipples instantly peaked and she slowly moved her hands back and forth across them, imagining what Gray’s mouth would feel like suckling her. After a couple of minutes, she was wet and she jerked her legs apart, eager to experiment.
She started with one finger, slowly rubbing and feeling her own wetness. She inserted one finger then two, then three, pretending that it was Gray that filled her. She wondered how big his dick was and the thought made what she was doing seem that much more erotic.
Squeezing her eyes shut and panting under the hot blankets, she began to break out in a sweat. She grinded her hips against her hand, wishing it was him. Pretending Gray was there with her, she thrust her hand faster and harder, searching and hoping for a release.
Mara sat on the couch in the living room the next morning eating a bowl of cereal. A reality showed played on the television but she paid it no attention, thinking about the night before. It had taken her a few tries but she’d finally been able to come. She was so happy. Maybe she wouldn’t be so eager when Gray was around.
She chose to think that she was a modern woman who didn’t need a man to get her off. But a part of her was embarrassed about what she’d done.
“You should have come to the party last night,” Marsha said, sitting on one of the loveseats with her laptop on her lap. “It was so nice.”
“I wasn’t feeling up to it.” She ate a bite of sweet cereal.
Marlene, who had been giving her the silent treatment again, rolled her eyes. Mara pretended not to notice.
“Mom, did you see that girl there with Gray?” Marlene complained, “She was all over him.”
“I did see her,” Marsha smiled at her younger daughter. “But I thought she was there with someone else.”
“She came with Gray’s friend, Dominic,” Marlene said, scowling. “But she left him for Gray. What a nasty ho.”
“Marlene!” Marsha protested.
“Well she is,” Marlene said mulishly. “She was draped over him all night.”
Mara felt a spark of jealousy, which she suspected was the reaction Marlene wanted from her. But she laughed at the two women on the TV screen, pretending that she was absorbed in the show.
“His mother should have said something to them,” Marlene went on.
“He’s a grown man. What can she say?” Marsha asked, looking at her computer and typing.
Marlene shrugged.
“Why are you so bothered by it?” Marsha asked, sitting the computer to the side and looking seriously at Marlene. “Your father told me you like Gray but I’ve never seen you like this just because you like someone.”
Marlene’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red.
“Jealousy doesn’t become you,” Mara said before she could stop herself.
“Shut up,” Marlene said, sneering. “I’m not jealous.”
“You were jealous of me even speaking to Gray so I know you’re jealous of whoever was all over him last night.” Mara stood up, done with her cereal.
“Girls, calm down,” Marsha said when Marlene stood up with her hands on her hips.
“Mom, you really should speak to her,” Mara said, thinking of the long drawn out lecture her father had given her about trying to get along with her sister. “She’s been harassing me for weeks. When I finally had enough of it, she got mad and stopped speaking to me. And all because of Gray.”
“Is this true, Marlene?”
“I did not harass you!” Marlene denied loudly.
“What do you call it, then?” Mara demanded.
Marlene crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head.
“Whatever,” Mara said, walking out of the living room. She entered the kitchen and put her bowl in the sink. Marlene could deny it all she wanted but she’d been beyond obvious and pathetic. Mara felt like she didn’t know her sister anymore.
She went out to the backyard. It was warm out but not yet hot. The sun shone brightly but the cool breeze warded off the heat. Sitting down on the wooden bench, Mara wished she had her e-reader with her. It was a nice day to just read in the sun. She thought about going to get it from her room but decided to wait a little while because she felt so lazy.
For the moment, she enjoyed the site of the birds and butterflies flying and the rustle of leaves in the trees. She wondered who had been with Gray the night before and told herself to stop thinking about it. Whoever he chose to be with was none of her business. She couldn’t believe that he’d steal Dom’s girlfriend, though. Not when he’d already explained how close he and Dom were.
“Mara! Hey Mara!”
Recognizing the voice, she stood up and approached the fence that separated the Andrews property from the Foster property. Bridget leaned against the fence, dressed in a shimmery sky blue strapless dress. Mara, still in her pajamas, felt scruffy.
Bridget pushed a few blowing strands of platinum blonde hair behind her ear and waited for Mara to get closer.
“We’re having a party tonight,” She said, her voice low.
“What?” Mara asked, grinning. Joe and Ellie had only been gone for about twelve hours and a party was already in the works?
“Aunt Ellie and Uncle Joe gave us permission,” Bridget said quickly. “I asked.”
“Wow, that’s awesome,” Mara said, remembering a few parties she’d been to in high school. Quite often, someone ended up grounded for hosting the party when they weren’t supposed to.
“I think they only said yes because Gray’s here. He’s always been like…the perfect son.” Bridget rolled her eyes. She said snidely, “I swear, I don’t think he’s ever done a thing wrong in his life.”
Mara wondered about Bridget’s bitterness but didn’t have time to ponder it because Bridget flashed a toothy smile and said, “You have to come tonight. It’s going to be fun.”
“I don’t think so,” Mara began, hating to let her new friend down.
“Aw, why not?”
Instead of confessing to Bridget that she was seriously in lust with Bridget’s cousin, Mara thought to use Marlene as an excuse.
“It’s my sister,” Mara said, her voice low. “We haven’t gotten along in weeks and we can’t really be around each other like that.”
“But it’s going to be big party,” Bridget said quickly, “Lots of people will be there. You two won’t even notice one another.”
“Still…” Mara’s voice trailed off and she shrugged.
“What’s with you two? Is that why you didn’t come to the anniversary party yesterday?”
“No, that’s not why. I had a headache and I was just tired.”
“Well, you don’t have any excuse today!” Bridget said, “We’re having a party and you have to come.”
“I make no promises,” Mara warned with a smile.
When Bridget went back into the house, Mara went back to the bench, sitting down and closing her eyes. As much as a party tempted her, she knew that she wouldn’t be going. She had to stay on a clear path without drama and that involved keeping to herself as much as possible.
After her shower, Mara dressed in a stretchy black tank top and long, flowing red skirt. She slipped flip-flops onto her feet and put her hair into a French braid, deciding to go to the mall. She’d been ecstatic to receive her first check but had deposited the entire thing in the bank without spending it.
She hadn’t spent any of the money that she’d earned since then. She was due for a treat. She parked in the mall parking lot and wandered from store to store. The mall was packed full of people and she thought how much she wished her sister was there with her. She and Marlene loved shopping together.
She bought three new dresses and a pair of shoes before getting some tacos for lunch. It felt good to spend money and know that it was money that she’d earned.
Her cell phone rang and she took it out of her small handbag to see that it was her father calling.
“Yes, Dad?” She asked, answering the phone.
“Where are you?”
“At the mall. Why?”
“No reason. I asked your mother where you were and she didn’t know.”
“Did Marlene think I was on a date with Gray?” Mara asked, only half joking.
“No, of course not,” Roman said, sounding peeved. “No matter how old you are, you’ll always be my little girl and I’ll always want to know where you are.”
She smiled, thinking that he could be so sweet when he wanted to be. She’d been annoyed with the lecture he’d given her, doubting that Marlene had received a similar lecture, but she hadn’t been able to stay mad at her father.
“Well I’m at the mall eating lunch and I will be leaving soon.”
“Okay, see you later.”
“Bye, Dad.” She hung up the phone and quietly finished eating. Her mother used to be the one who constantly checked in. But it was as if, after everything with Marc, Marsha no longer felt she had a right to keep tabs.
It took a long time to get out of the parking lot, the traffic moving slow in all the exit lanes. Mara told herself to be patient. When she finally paid her fee and drove out, she sighed in relief. She should have known better than to come out to the mall on a hot and beautiful summer Saturday but she was happy with her purchases.
She parked the car in front of her house, seeing Gray and Lily in front of their house.
“Hey!” Lily called as Mara got out of the car.
“Hi!” Mara said, grabbing her bags. She turned to Lily and smiled. Gray stood back, holding several plastic bags.
“Are you coming to the party tonight?”
“I don’t think so,” Mara said honestly.
“You and Marlene still going at it?” Lily was wearing a bright red halter dress and Mara was envious of her lush curves displayed in the dress.
“She hates me.”
“Why?” Lily asked, looking shocked.
“It’s a long story,” Mara said, watching Gray go into the house with the bags. “I don’t really have time to explain.”
“Okay,” Lily said, tilting her head to the side. “It’s starting at ten. If you change your mind, just come over.”
“Alright.”
She watched Lily grab some bags out of Gray’s car and go into the house as he came back out. She turned her head and headed straight for her own house.
Considering that there was a party going on, the street was relatively quiet. If she turned down the volume on the television, she could hear the muted sounds of the music coming from the Foster home.
She’d once loved parties even though she wasn’t the best dancer. She and her friends would laugh, dance, flirt and just have fun. Once she’d met Marc, she’d stopped seeing anyone but him. And after him, she hadn’t bothered with anyone other than her family and Tabitha.
Feeling sorry for herself, she went down to the kitchen and fixed herself a huge bowl of chocolate chip ice cream. Her parents were already in bed and she ate by herself in the kitchen, knowing that Marlene was at the party, probably sending Gray all kinds of signals.
She knew that he’d eventually ask Marlene out, especially now that he knew Marlene liked him. Mara wasn’t an expert on men but she knew they rarely turned down easy sex. Marlene clearly wasn’t going to make Gray work for it.
“Stop thinking about it!” Mara whispered fiercely to herself. But she went out to the backyard with her ice cream, creeping over to the fence and looking into the few windows that she could see. The party looked packed full of people. She hadn’t even known that the Fosters knew that many people.
Although it was dim inside the house, she could see people dancing and laughing. More than a few drinks were visible.
Maybe she could swing by, just for a little while. She probably wouldn’t even be noticed. A little voice told her that going to the party would be a mistake but her pulse was already galloping at the prospect of making an appearance.
She felt the thrill of anticipation and hurried back into the house. She dumped her ice cream and rushed up to her room. Now that she’d decided to go to the party she couldn’t wait to get over there. With any luck, she might actually have some fun.