The Design Diva deliberations seem to go on forever. By the time the judges announce (unsurprisingly) that Jared is the winner and Carrie and Matthew are eliminated, I’ve given up all hope of seeing Jake.

Just as I grab my bag to go back to my dorm, Missy says, “Before all our designers leave for the night, I’m sure Chloe wouldn’t mind answering any questions you might have.”

I put my bag back on my seat and slap on my most encouraging smile. “Of course not.” At this point, there’s no meeting with Jake, anyway.

Hunter, Missy, and Jasmine gather the contestants and arrange chairs in a circle. Dani raises her hand first. “Which of the designs you did on the show was your favorite?” she asks.

“Definitely the one for the Toys ‘R’ Us challenge. I was feeling down and not sure how to make something out of the box.” The contestants laugh at this and nod, relating to it. “But then I thought about how to make the piece my own. The local fair back in my hometown was a big inspiration for me when I designed my cotton candy-inspired skirt for that challenge.”

“How did you sew without machines?” asks June.

“Very stressfully,” I say, and everyone laughs again.

“Tell us about your internship,” Kyle says.

“It’s been amazing,” I say. “Stefan Meyers lets me be very hands-on. If you guys think the competition is getting too hard, just think of the internship. It’s worth it.”

“Are there any mean girls?” asks June. “Like Nina LeFleur from your season?”

I think of Madison and frame my answer carefully. “There will always be people who try to get the best of you. The key is to keep believing in yourself.”

I know my answer sounded too perfect, but it’s true. Besides, the cameras are still rolling. I don’t want my words to be edited into something vicious.

“What do you like best about your internship?” asks Jared.

“Learning new things,” I say. “Going into this competition, I thought I had a good handle on fashion design. Even more so after winning. But working for Stefan Meyers has made me realize that there’s so much more to learn. I want my own label one day, and there’s a lot to know about running it.”

I’m starting to feel more at ease and less anxious when someone calls out, “Whatever happened with you and that cute boy?”

I blush. Jake gave me a big hug onstage after I won, and the cameras panned to him during the last challenge, so it’s not surprising the contestants remember him. “Um, we’re still friends,” I say. Hopefully, I want to add. I imagine Jake waiting for me, trying to call me, and then walking back to his apartment — alone. It makes me sad.

I steer the conversation elsewhere. “What do you wish would be different about the competition?” I ask. I wish someone had asked this during my season.

“More sleep would be nice,” says Jared.

“A little more time to start our designs before everyone swarms in,” says Kyle.

I nod. I can appreciate that. I spend a few more minutes chatting before wrapping things up. I give the new crop of designers my e-mail in case they have more questions.

“Stay in touch,” Jasmine tells me. “We’re rooting for you out there.”

I hug the judges goodbye and walk back to my dorm. It was a great day, but I wonder if I could have done things differently. Should I have left? What would have happened if I had? I unlock the door to my suite, wanting to charge my phone and be alone, but Bailey is sitting in the common room.

“Hey,” I say as I plug in my phone.

She puts down her sketch. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re going to cry. Oh! Before I forget, Jake was here looking for you. Did he find you?”

I look at her miserably and tell her the whole story.

“Ugh. That stinks,” Bailey says when I finish.

“I know. And I feel so ungrateful. I got to be a Design Diva judge, which was amazing, but I really wanted to see Jake.” I shake my head. “I should have left.”

Bailey stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Are you insane? You did not just say that, Chloe. This is your dream we’re talking about! I know you’re still in high school, but fashion design is all about opportunities and catching a break. Talent too, but there are a lot of talented designers out there. You don’t just throw away an opportunity like that!”

I’ve never seen Bailey annoyed at me, but she clearly is now. “Sorry,” I mumble.

Bailey sighs. “I don’t mean to lecture you, but so many people would kill for what you have. I mean, if someone told you last year to walk a mile in a pair of Manolo Blahniks for this chance, wouldn’t you have done it?”

I nod. Miles. Marathons. Anything. My phone buzzes, signaling that it finally has some juice, and I see six texts from Jake, all asking where I am. The last one says, “Guess you’re busy. Hope you’re okay.”

I immediately call Jake’s cell, but it goes straight to voicemail. I leave a message saying how sorry I am and explaining what happened.

When I put the phone down, Bailey does the same with her sketchpad. “If it’s meant to be, he’ll understand. Get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

I swallow, feeling a pit in my stomach. “Thanks for listening.”

“Any time.”

I start to go into my room when Bailey says, “Chloe?”

I turn around.

“You’re really talented. Don’t let anything stand in your way.”

I nod. “Thanks again.”

I get ready for bed and try to focus on all the positives ahead of me. All the things I’ve always wanted. Based on what Michael said, I’ve barely experienced PR. That’s to happen in the days to come. I close my eyes and imagine Fashion Week, runways, models, and my designs. I imagine Stefan saying how lucky he is to have such a fabulous intern. I keep these images in my head and don’t let them get away.