MY LIFE AS A DOG

If I was a dog, the only three things I’d chase:

a firetruck, a ball, and my own tail.

If I was a dog, you wouldn’t be petting me

I might have rolled in something.

As a dog, I’d roll over for cheese. Not very good cheese.

I’d bark all night until you let me out.

You’d have to let me out.

Don’t worry, I wouldn’t chase anyone’s cat.

I’m sure I’d think about it. But I just wouldn’t.

Someone would have to hold me when I got my shots.

Would you hold me when I got my shots?

I’d sneak into the garden and eat the pears off the trees.

How would I do that? I’d be a dog. A crafty dog.

If I was a dog, I’d have run away by now.

I’d be a runaway. You’d think bad dog.

And when it was time to put me down, you’d be

a little blue. Then put me down.