One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.
—Franklin P. Jones
WHEN ANY OF US feels anxious, our natural response is to find a way to relieve the discomfort. It could be as simple as avoiding a perceived danger or talking things over with a friend to gain some perspective.
Whether you only experience anxiety from time to time or have an anxiety disorder, you’ve probably tried some do-it-yourself strategies to calm down. Perhaps you went to the gym for a workout, tried to meditate, or breathed into a bag. These well-known approaches often have calming effects, but there are other strategies that may reduce your symptoms even more.
A lot of us feel anxious because we take on too many tasks. Becoming overcommitted is easy, but learning to delegate can be harder. Most people don’t know that simply asking others for assistance can reduce anxiety significantly.
Various forms of talk therapy can help people gain a better perspective on their worries, but a conversation with an empathic friend can also be a great stress reducer. Be honest about what’s bothering you—your friend may give you a new viewpoint or at least let you vent.
Learning to recognize what triggers your anxiety is essential to devising ways to dissipate your symptoms. For instance, if you identify that a certain individual brings up anxiety symptoms for you, try to distance yourself from that person and minimize contact. Certain environments can also trigger people to feel anxious or overwhelmed.
Elaine never liked shopping. Perhaps it was because she got lost in a huge department store when she was a child, but even supermarkets overwhelmed her, and she felt anxious every time she needed groceries. Eventually, Elaine was able to develop a do-it-yourself remedy that helped—she began by shopping at the same market every time. She also made a shopping list beforehand and remained focused on finding only those items while in the store. She began to feel calmer when shopping because she had a clear objective and didn’t have to make a bunch of choices or new decisions.
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Once an anxiety trigger is identified, it becomes easier to address. Below is a list of common triggers and some do-it-yourself remedies. See if any apply to you so you can begin to devise your own ways to lessen the impact of your triggers.
Having a negative attitude can breed anxiety, so working to keep a positive outlook is another helpful strategy for soothing your nerves. Learning optimism is not as hard as it may seem. Some people are born seeing the cup half full. They appreciate the good things in their lives and don’t dwell on the bad. But even if you are the cup-half-empty type—perhaps you ruminate on what bad thing might happen next—turning that attitude around and reducing your anxiety is not that difficult. The process often involves letting go of guilt and breaking the habit of always expecting the worst outcome in any situation.
The following self-help approaches have all been shown to be effective in reducing stress. The best way to discover which method or methods work best for you is to try a few of them.
When I notice I’m feeling anxious, whatever the reason, the first thing I try to do is relax myself so that I can think calmly and clearly. This isn’t always as easy as it sounds, but using the tried and true techniques below has helped me and many of my patients.
Anxious individuals often have taut muscles, which leads to aches and pains and worsens psychological tension. This may be why one of the most popular and easy relaxation techniques is progressive muscle relaxation. It involves scanning your body from the top of your head down to your feet and systematically releasing any tension you are holding in your muscles. Controlled studies have shown that progressive muscle relaxation is more effective than a placebo medication treatment in reducing symptoms of a number of anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social phobia.
This popular practice involves sitting or lying comfortably and focusing attention on a phrase, breath, sound, or object. It’s normal for the mind to wander, but with practice, meditators become able to recognize when that happens and to gently guide their attention back to the breathing, phrase, or object they were focusing on.
Meditation reduces negative thinking and helps us relax, thus lowering stress and anxiety. The practice has been shown to improve mood and memory while altering brain neural circuits. Many studies have shown that meditation increases the size of the brain’s grey matter, the outer rim where brain cells reside. Larger grey matter volume is associated with a lower risk of memory and other age-related cognitive declines. Meditation also increases overall brain wave function and activates the thinking brain (frontal lobe) and emotional brain (amygdala).
Several controlled studies indicate that meditation reduces symptoms in generalized anxiety and panic disorders. People who meditate enjoy improved cognitive abilities, and MRI research indicates positive alterations in brain neural circuitry from just ten minutes of daily meditation.
Many forms of meditation offer these types of beneficial effects. When starting out, it can be helpful to try various styles to see which one works best for you.
Autogenic training involves retraining the mind to reduce stress and calm the body through simple mental exercises. This approach helps the body respond to mental or verbal commands that one tells oneself in order to control one’s heartbeat, breathing, temperature, blood pressure, pain, and more. Although many people find it helpful for reducing anxiety, there is limited research on its effectiveness. Autogenic training is similar to biofeedback in that they both focus on the autonomic nervous system, which regulates body functions not controlled by the conscious mind. However, autogenic training requires the use of biofeedback devices to objectively monitor these functions.
Another way to gain perspective on your worries and lower your anxiety levels is to keep a diary or journal. Research has shown that psychotherapy patients who maintain a personal journal feel less anxiety than those who do not. Journaling has also been shown to reduce worrying in those with generalized anxiety disorder.
Keeping a log or diary of our activities and emotional reactions over time allows us to reflect on our experiences and feelings and gain insight on them. Writing about our feelings, just as talking about them, can in itself reduce stress levels.
If this is something new for you, start by finding a quiet time and comfortable place where you won’t be interrupted and begin writing about whatever comes to mind. Spelling and grammar don’t count—just date your entry and let the thoughts and feelings flow.
Anxiety at bedtime can definitely keep us up at night. Insomnia—which refers to trouble falling asleep, problems staying asleep, waking up too early, or getting up and not feeling refreshed—is very often anxiety related. Anxious people with sleep problems tend to become even more anxious due to their lack of sleep.
Insomnia and sleep deprivation are known to increase the risk of developing an anxiety disorder. Sleep problems can also aggravate physical conditions, such as hypertension, diabetes, or obesity, which can further threaten brain health and increase the risk of cognitive and mood changes.
Self-help techniques can not only fight insomnia and improve restful sleep; they can also reduce symptoms of anxiety. Many do-it-yourself strategies like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can help people get to sleep at night as well as fall back to sleep if they have awakened.
A patient once complained to me that he would read in bed every night until he felt tired. However, when he reached over to turn off the light and tried to settle back down, all that movement just woke him up again. He finally figured out a solution—after shutting off the light, he would get into a comfortable position, lie perfectly still, and then focus on his breathing. This was his way of meditating to sleep.
Various illnesses, such as depression and heart disease, and medication side effects can disrupt sleep. If you think you have a sleep disorder, it’s important to discuss your symptoms with your doctor. Talking therapies can be helpful, particularly cognitive behavior therapy for insomnia, which teaches people to identify and alter the behaviors that disrupt their sleep. Several online cognitive behavior therapy programs for insomnia are available (e.g., SHUTi, sleepio) so you can learn these techniques yourself.
Depending on the cause of the sleep problem, the doctor may or may not prescribe a medication. Depressed patients may sleep better when they take a sedating antidepressant medicine, but beware of other common types of sleeping pills like Ambien or Lunesta because they can become habit forming. Also, some over-the-counter sleep aids can cause memory side effects, particularly in older people who already notice mild forgetfulness. I always recommend trying self-help methods to induce restful sleep before using sedatives.
Cardiovascular conditioning boosts memory, mood, and energy while reducing brain-damaging neural inflammation. The mood-lifting effects of aerobic conditioning have been shown to help patients suffering from anxiety and depression.
It’s not necessary to become a triathlete or gym rat to appreciate the calming effects of aerobic workouts. Just twenty minutes a day of brisk walking has been shown to provide significant brain advantages and stress reduction.
Some people like to work out on their own, while others prefer fitness classes or competitive sports. Exercising with others introduces an important social element that provides additional mental health benefits. It’s important to find an exercise regimen you enjoy because that will help you stick with it and gain the most benefits. Keep in mind that beginners should start low and go slow to avoid injury and gradually build stamina.
Yoga is a popular mind-body exercise that involves postures, breathing, and meditative elements, and research on the benefits of yoga for anxiety disorders is encouraging. The slow, deliberate meditative postures and movements of tai chi have been shown to improve mood, memory, and physical stamina while altering brain neural circuitry for the better.
Dancing combines an aerobic workout with the cognitive challenge of keeping track of your movements and steps. Brain scans of experienced dancers demonstrate strengthened neural circuits in regions involved in motor control, balance, and social interaction compared to scans of beginners. Don’t forget that household chores can provide a fairly good workout too. Raking leaves and making beds for thirty minutes can knock off one hundred or more calories.
If you don’t mind the stress of a larger credit card bill, shopping at the mall can give you a workout while boosting your neural circuits. You will benefit from both the aerobic exercise you get walking briskly between stores as well as the neural stimulation that comes from searching through items for the right sizes and colors. Shopping with a friend adds an important social interaction element that can reduce stress, stimulate the brain, and make exercising more fun.
Many people like to go to gyms that offer indoor aerobic options and strength training with weights. Both aerobic conditioning and strength training get our hearts pumping more oxygen and nutrients into our cells, which boosts physical and mental energy, stabilizes mood, and helps reduce anxiety. If you’re pressed for time, try interval training, which involves periods of intense exertion alternated with periods of rest or lighter exertion. Recent research indicates that you receive the same health benefits from this pattern of exercise in one fourth the time needed for endurance training.
Another mental benefit of cardiovascular conditioning is the euphoria we experience as the feel-good hormones, endorphins, get released into our systems. These mood-stabilizing hormones can allay anxiety and depression.
Most of us enjoy eating a variety of foods, and we know that healthy meals are essential to fortify our bodies. But what and how much we eat can also impact our mood. Dining can be one of the greatest pleasures in life, and sharing meals with others is a good way to socialize, reduce stress, and improve overall wellbeing.
Eating fruits, whole grains, and vegetables that provide important vitamins and minerals is associated with a lower risk of depression. Also, foods high in omega-3 fats like fish, nuts, and flaxseed improve mood. Eating carbohydrates in moderation can have a calming effect in part because they increase the amount of the mood-enhancing brain chemical serotonin. Experts speculate that low brain serotonin levels may be linked to “carb cravings.” The amino acid tryptophan contained in some protein-rich foods like chicken, turkey, and tuna can also increase serotonin in the brain.
Many people who get stressed out or anxious turn to food for comfort. Whether it’s a grilled cheese sandwich, slice of chocolate cake, or bowl of sugary cereal, eating comfort foods can bring temporary anxiety symptom relief. But when eaten in excess, these foods lose their calming effects and can lead to health problems associated with being overweight or obese. Scientists have found that people who regularly consume fast foods, processed foods, and sweets are generally more anxious than those who eat natural foods, such as poultry, milk, seeds, and nuts.
Eating a Mediterranean-style diet that includes fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and omega-3 fats from fish, nuts, or flaxseed provides anti-inflammatory properties that protect both our brains and our bodies from heightened inflammation associated with aging. Simply limiting our intake of refined sugars and processed foods has been shown to reduce inflammation and lower stress levels and anxiety. It also decreases our risk of age-related diseases like diabetes and Alzheimer’s.
Complex carbohydrates such as whole grains take longer to digest so they help stabilize blood sugar levels and provide a steadier supply of serotonin to the brain. By contrast, high-glycemic index carbs will spike blood sugar levels and lead to subsequent blood sugar dives that trigger hypoglycemia—a potentially dangerous mental and physical state that causes anxiety symptoms including nervousness, sweating, dizziness, and a pounding or racing heart.
Caffeine is the world’s most widely consumed stimulant and is present not only in coffee and tea but also in cola, chocolate, and many other foods. Too much caffeine will make people feel nervous and restless and worsen symptoms of anxiety, so it makes sense to limit caffeine consumption to promote calmness. Any anxious person attempting to reduce their caffeine intake should go about it gradually since rapid caffeine withdrawal can cause headaches, fatigue, moodiness, and irritability.
Many of us are familiar with that satisfied but somewhat lethargic state we feel after a big Thanksgiving dinner. One explanation is a possible relaxation effect from the tryptophan-rich turkey meal. Tryptophan is an amino acid that may have antianxiety effects because it changes into serotonin when it enters the brain. Research on pumpkin seeds, another tryptophan-rich food, indicates that eating them can reduce symptoms of social phobia.
In today’s technology-laden world, it seems like new innovations, gadgets, programs, or apps come out almost every day. These tech wonders are often designed to simplify our lives, streamline our work, give us more free time, and help us communicate more efficiently. While many people find these advances helpful for reducing stress, others experience increased anxiety with each new innovation.
Many people enjoy social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, which allow them to stay in touch with each other and share their experiences and photographs. However, these sites can leave some individuals feeling bad about their own, less-exciting lives and increase their emotional isolation. Such isolation can bring on feelings of loneliness and self-doubt, which often cause anxiety or worsen existing concerns. It’s important to pick and choose the technology tools that help reduce your stress rather than increase it.
Numerous websites and apps are available to help people who suffer from anxiety, and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and other organizations provide reviews of many of them. These programs vary in their ease of use, how much they can be personalized for the individual user, the research evidence backing up their effectiveness, and the availability of interactive features. Several of the apps can be helpful for people to use on their own as well as in conjunction with traditional therapy.
Computerized versions of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety (e.g., FearFighter, OCFighter/BTSteps, Panic Online, and Interapy) have been studied systematically and appear to be effective for a range of conditions, including panic disorder, phobias, and possibly obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Spending time with others often reduces anxiety, possibly because it takes our focus off of ourselves and allows us to feel connected. Combining do-it-yourself strategies like meditation, exercise, and healthy eating with a social component can be a win-win. Enjoying an exhilarating walk with an empathic companion not only provides stress-reducing exercise; it allows you to discuss and sort out your worries, which can further reduce any feelings of anxiety. Sharing healthy meals with people, taking a group meditation class, or just calling a friend have all been shown to reduce anxiety, alleviate loneliness, and fight off depression.
Many people find support groups to be very helpful in calming their anxiety symptoms. Sharing your emotional experiences and learning about how others feel and cope can provide valuable insights for managing and lowering anxiety. The Anxiety and Depressive Association of America offers resources for finding local and online support groups for people experiencing various kinds of anxiety.
Taking medications or receiving medical treatment for anxiety does not preclude using self-help approaches. In fact, many people find that combining do-it-yourself strategies with conventional treatments for anxiety can be the most effective way to relieve symptoms, recover more rapidly, and remain in remission.
Whether or not you are practicing self-help strategies, if anxiety is disrupting your everyday life, it can be essential to seek professional help. Even if you’re not sure if you need it, it’s best to err on the conservative side: when in doubt, always seek help. Many effective treatments are available for anxiety disorders, and untreated anxiety can result in serious consequences.