Megan, Sarah & Billy
Family Tensions
With her family all around her and Billy home, Megan should have felt at peace, but tension sizzled in the drawing room, where they all milled around trying to enjoy a pre-dinner drink.
Jack hovered close to her, seeking answers to questions that he asked only with his eyes, where his concern for her showed. But she couldn’t give him any answers. Who knew how this welcome-home party that she’d arranged for Billy would go; and no, she was not all right! And neither was anyone else, by the way they all tried to make it look and sound as though they were.
Issy didn’t help the situation, trying to cover her discomfort by fussing over everything and in the process driving Fanny – and the help Fanny had brought with her – to distraction. ‘Eeh, Megan, lass,’ she’d said a million times, ‘what possessed you to have this do so soon?’
Looking over at Sarah increased the worry that was niggling at Megan. The poor lass looked as wound up as a coil of wire – held together, but ready to unravel and fall into an untidy mess at any moment. And then there’s me mam, acting as though she’s on hand to save me from hurt, no matter what; and with Edward in tow, as if to do the same for mam.
In another corner of the room, Megan’s two half-brothers Richard and Mark stood trying to make conversation with Billy, but although he was jubilant at being free, he was surly with them. For what reason, she didn’t know. They’d never done him any harm. Billy’s attitude to her, she could understand. He’d never really forgiven her, and had let her know in no uncertain terms that she’d done the wrong thing in arranging this coming-home celebration. ‘Christ, Mam,’ he’d said, ‘what were you thinking? I don’t want to be with all the so-called long-lost relations, when I’m just out of that bloody institution. I wanted a quiet weekend to get used to this new place, and to being with Sarah and all of you. You’ve bloody got no idea. You always did mess things up, and you haven’t changed, have you?’
His scowl bored into her, and she sensed that something awful was about to happen. Looking at the clock offered her some relief. The time was approaching when the rest of their guests would arrive.
Sarah caught Megan’s eye and responded with a smile, but it did nothing to settle Megan. She so wished Hattie would come soon. Hattie would sort everything out. She always did. She had a knack for making things right when they weren’t.
And there would be the distraction of Hattie’s husband, Harry, too. Good, dependable Harry. He always brought a calming influence, which hopefully Billy would respond to.
Hattie was bringing young Sally, and Phyllis and Daisy, with her, so the atmosphere should improve as the room filled with everyone’s chatter. These thoughts eased Megan’s fears a little, but she still harboured some doubts. She knew Billy would be okay with Sally, as he’d known her from childhood and, like them all, felt deeply for all that Sally had been through. But she did wonder if he would be respectful with Phyllis and Daisy, or even with Hattie for that matter, despite knowing that he’d get short shrift from her if he tried anything.
Phyllis and Daisy’s past, working as prostitutes – and now being a couple – would give Billy plenty to deride. Megan couldn’t see him looking beyond their situation and seeing the lovely women they were. Oh dear, what have I done? Billy was right – I should never have thought this welcome-home party a good idea.
When the doorbell rang, Megan jumped, and she flew towards it as if propelled by wings. Hattie instantly made her laugh. ‘Eeh, it’s that cold out here, your breath catches in your lungs. Hey, Megan. By, that’s a warm welcome – you at the door before I let go of the knocker. Makes me feel like I’m Queen Victoria or sommat.’
Issy, ready as usual with a quip, came up behind Megan. ‘Well, that ain’t a good way to feel, Hattie, seeing as she’s been dead this thirty-odd year and more. By, it’s good to see you. Come on in, lass. Thank goodness you’re here. This one’s like a cinder girl on hot coals.’
Megan didn’t ask what a cinder girl was, but was glad Issy was being Issy at this moment. It took everyone’s attention, and stopped her from grabbing Hattie like the lifesaver she thought she was.
‘Reet, I gather it’s not going as well as you’d hoped, Megan, love? Never mind, reinforcements have arrived. It were bound to be strained, but the more people you have to break things up a bit, the better. Is Billy playing up?’
‘Well, he’s not reet pleased with me for arranging this, and at the moment he’s taking it out on Richard and Mark. Oh, Hattie. What have I done?’
‘Never mind that – it’s done now, so let’s get on with it, love. Take our coats and let’s get in.’
As they entered the room, Hattie said to Sally, ‘Right, lass, go and greet Billy like a long-lost friend. I know you only met him a couple of times, but after you’ve said hello and how nice it is to see him, get the lads talking and I’ll take over with Billy. Go on, lass. He won’t bite.’
As if she hadn’t orchestrated it, Hattie went to Bridget and Edward first, hugging them before saying, ‘Well, I have to greet the lad whose honour we are all here for, so I’ll be back with you in a mo. Billy! Come here, lad. Eeh, it’s good to have you back with us. Look at you – you remind me of that picture of your great-grandma, Bridie. I was only looking at it the other day in your locket, wasn’t I, Megan? It’s your eyes. They’re Irish eyes. By, you’ve made a handsome young man! Now, how are you?’
Like magic, the atmosphere eased as Sarah joined Hattie and Billy. Megan was puzzled as to why Sarah hadn’t stood with Billy when he was talking to Richard and Mark, instead of letting the situation get as it had; but knowing Sarah, she’d have her reasons. No matter, everyone seemed happier now.
‘Are you all right, Megan, dear?’
‘Yes, Mam, I am now. Sorry, love. Things were a bit—’
‘There, that’s better. Now, I think I deserve a drink.’ Hattie had come up to them and didn’t give them a chance to continue.
‘You do, Hattie, love. Ta for that. Reet, let’s start to enjoy ourselves. Jack, see to the drinks whilst I go and see what Issy and the others are up to with the food. Be back with you in a mo, Mam. Don’t worry, everything is all right now.’
When Megan showed them all into the dining room a few moments later, it was with pride. She’d picked the longest of the downstairs rooms to convert for this purpose the moment they had settled into this grand house. She’d found it to be the only room in which she could fit a table long enough to seat all of her family and friends. At the far end of the room, glass doors opened onto the garden, creating lots of light, which reflected off the summer blue in which she’d had the walls painted. The curtains were white with dark-blue cornflowers adorning them, and the carpet matched the colour of the flowers.
The table looked grand, set with her best china. That, too, had a cornflower pattern on it. The overall picture was one of calm and elegance. A fire, huge and spitting resin from the burning logs, gave warmth to the scene. As she sat down, with everyone in the place allocated to them, her nerves eased. By, it’s sommat an’ all, me entertaining like this.
Though she’d done it many times over the years since their good fortune, she never got used to it, and each time it gave her a special feeling. Looking at her family, now chatting easily, she thought everything was going to go well, and she’d been silly to think otherwise.
Billy ate his hot soup. He looked around as he did so. What a load of codswallop. His mam was the worst, acting like she was a lady or sommat. Christ, if his dad were here, he’d put her in her place. All this fancy stuff – and at the cost of his dad’s life. And his own, for that matter, as they’d both suffered because of his mam’s actions. Carrying on as she did, building a nest-egg behind his dad’s back, and all with the intention of leaving him. Once she’d achieved that, all hell had been let loose when his dad found them.
The memory shuddered through Billy as he looked at his Uncle Jack. He’d always loved Jack, and it had been trying to save his life that had led to all that happened. Aye, and it were all me mam’s fault that I killed me dad. Oh God!
‘So, Billy, I know you’ve only been home a few days, but how are you finding it?’
Edward was supposedly his step-granddad, but he wasn’t anything like a real grandpa, though Billy could say as the ‘grand’ bit was spot-on – too grand for the likes of them. Still, Edward wasn’t a bad bloke.
He’d not let any of them off the hook, though. He’d tell it as it was. ‘It’s strange, to tell the truth. It don’t seem like I belong here at the moment. When I left, we lived in a flat above a shop, having just left me dad in our miner’s cottage, and now I’ve come back to this! Takes a bit of getting used to.’
His step-granddad nodded and smiled, but Issy butted in. ‘Eeh, you soon will, lad. I feel as though I were born to it. By, I can be reet posh if I want to be.’
It sickened him how they all laughed as Issy, the old bag, lifted her little finger off her spoon and held it in the air, like she thought it gave her airs and graces or something. She always did think she could solve everything by making a crack.
Billy didn’t join in with the laughter as it all looked false from where he sat. His anger unleashed some of the bitterness he felt at the way they all acted. ‘Aye, but there is a saying as you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, and there’s a few of them here today, I reckon.’ He enjoyed the silence that fell. Sarah tapped his leg with her foot, but then she had a side to her as well, like she’d forgotten how it all used to be. Well, he was of a mind to remind them, and he’d start with them as were no better than the scum on the street. ‘So, it ain’t as if you’ve forgotten the selling yourself days, then?’ He looked at Hattie, then Phyllis and lastly at Daisy, before turning to his mam. ‘And you, Mam. You must remember how it was, when you were deceiving me da—’
‘Billy! None of this is called for, lad. It’s reet as things have changed since you went away, but everyone here deserves what they now have and how their lives are better than they were, so however bitter you feel about things, they can’t be undone. We all did the best we could.’
‘You did, Uncle Jack, and perhaps you, Granddad Edward – you tried, though you forgot about me in the last few years. But the rest of you, especially—’
‘Don’t even say it, Billy. You’ve nowt to pull any of us up for. Nowt. And I’ll not have you trying.’
Billy had had enough. His chair clattered to the floor as he rose. The sound cut off the sound of his Aunt Hattie’s ranting. She had a lot to talk about. She was nothing but a prostitute in her past, and you couldn’t wipe that from your slate.
As he walked out, slamming the door behind him, he felt something eating him up inside. They all acted as if he’d been the only bad ’un, when in fact he were the only one as had paid for what he’d done. All the others had been rewarded.
Breaking into a run thwarted the cold that chilled his shirt-sleeved torso. The late-November air held a damp mist. Turning towards Breckton, Billy planned to run the four miles to the town and go into the pub for a few beers. He checked his back pocket. Aye, his wallet was there, and he had a pound note tucked in it – Sarah had given it to him for his journey home, but he’d not needed it. After he’d visited the recruiting office with that lawyer bloke – a condition of his release – the man had given him a lift home. That had turned out to be an experience in itself, as the man’s motor car had been a revelation to him. Thinking of it made Billy regret his outburst. Hadn’t he meant to be on his best behaviour so as to please Jack and his mam in the hope that, when he asked, they would agree to let him have a motor of his own? Well, he’d blown that. And Sarah wouldn’t be pleased with him, either. Oh, bugger the lot of them. He’d drown them out in a few pints.
‘Sarah, don’t worry. He’ll just have gone off to the pub or something. He’ll find it difficult to settle for a while. It’s to be expected.’
Richard’s voice, coming from behind her, had Sarah wiping her tears, embarrassed that he might see her cry. She’d grabbed her coat and run outside after Billy, but hadn’t been able to stop him. She turned from the gate to face Richard. Her heart leapt at the sight of him standing on the path, framed by the fading light of the late-evening sun. Tendrils of his hair fell forward onto his forehead. His beautiful liquid-blue eyes held hers. Her mouth dried. She had no conscious awareness of either of them moving, and yet his body came so close to hers that she could smell the freshness of his crisp white shirt and feel his warm breath brushing her face as he spoke her name. ‘Sarah . . . I – I have to tell you: I have feelings for you. I—’
There was no need for him to finish. And Richard turning away from her did nothing to prevent his message from reaching her. But then, had she imagined it? Confusion reddened her cheeks, because when he turned back to face her, his voice lightened. ‘Well, let’s hope Billy’s back in time for the wedding, eh? Can’t have the blushing bride left at the altar, can we? Besides, I’m looking forward to the day. It has been ages since I went to a wedding, though there’s a few arranged now, with the fear of everyone leaving their girlfriends behind. I’m even thinking of it myself.’
This shocked her. ‘You have someone in mind then?’
‘Yes. Lucinda. You met her last time you came down. The raven-haired girl at the summer fete that Mother held on the lawn. We . . . we have a sort of understanding.’
Understanding! If she lived to be a hundred, she’d never take in how the classes above her own went about things. But then wasn’t that what she had with Billy – an understanding of sorts?
‘I’m happy for you. I found her to be a nice lass.’ Her words belied the way she felt. Inside she wanted to scream out: You can’t! You can’t marry her. But what was the use?
‘Yes, I’ve known her all my life, and our families get on well. She knows me, almost better than I do myself, and – well . . . it’ll be nice to know she is waiting for me when I return—’
‘Return? You’re going off to war? I thought, as a trainee doctor, you’d not have to go. I mean, the likes of you will be needed here.’
‘That’s just it. Trainee, not qualified. No, I have to put all that on hold and do my bit. I’m going into the RAF. I go to Uxbridge in a couple of weeks to start my pilot’s training.’
‘Oh, Richard, I can’t bear it.’
‘Sarah, I – I must say it. I must speak. I love—’
‘I’ve brought your coat, Richard.’
‘Father! I didn’t hear you coming. Thanks, yes, it is nippy.’
‘Here you are. At least Sarah had the sense to grab hers before she came out. Anyway, Richard, I think you should go in. Your mother is upset, as is everyone. I’ll stay with Sarah, if she cannot face it all yet.’
‘Thank you, Edward, but I’ll go in an’ all. I’m sorry about the upset. It ain’t Billy’s fault. It were too much for him. Aunt Megan should have given him longer to get used to being out, and with the family again, before—’
‘Yes. Perhaps that is so. I’m sure she meant well, but I agree. Billy isn’t ready to take it all in yet. Can’t blame the lad. Everything has changed since he was sectioned. Well, dear, take my arm and we’ll follow Richard back into the warmth, eh?’
Holding his arm, Sarah wondered how much Edward had heard, and even if his coming out to them had been because he suspected something might happen. As they walked up the path, she allowed her mind to wander. Was Richard really about to declare his love for me? Oh God! But no, she couldn’t even think it, or create any room in her heart for Richard. Her destiny was mapped out for her, and she had to stick to it – for everyone’s sake.