Richard & Sarah
The Toll of War
‘You’re all right. A few bruises and some bad burns, but nothing that will take you to your maker. Must have been your lucky day, sir. Right, let’s get these dressings changed.’
‘H – how many did we lose?’
‘No official figure, sir, but we took a hammering.’
‘Archie Greaves?’
‘Don’t know any names, sir. Sorry, been too busy with the wounded.’
The medic worked with efficiency, bathing and re-dressing Richard’s wounds, chatting away in a light tone as if this was any other day. As he wiped away the tears trickling uncontrollably down Richard’s cheeks, the medic said, ‘Don’t take on, sir. They died heroes. The second wave hasn’t so many coming at them, as you lot crippled them.’
‘Is it still going on?’
‘Yes, sir. Your lot chased them back, but they returned. That Hitler seems determined to knock us hard so he can step onto our soil, but that’ll never happen. Never! Now get some rest. They’ll need you in some role or other before long.’
Need me? Oh God, when will it end?
As the medic walked away from his bed, whatever drug he’d given Richard began to take effect. His pain eased and the room spun around him, throwing images at him as it went: a ball of fire; smoke, choking smoke; the rushing of air; his cheeks billowing back towards his ears; finding the cord to his parachute; tugging it . . . then nothing. As these pictures faded, Sarah’s face came to him as clearly as if she stood in front of him. Big eyes, sad, empty – tugging at his heart. Would those eyes ever twinkle with laughter again?
‘Oh no, dear God! How is Bridget taking it all?’
Sarah froze. Richard! No – please not Richard! ‘Dad, what is it? What’s happened?’
‘Hold on a moment, love. Sorry, Edward, Sarah’s here. She just came into the hall. I need to tell her. Oh, all right, I’ll ring back. Aye, we’re reet. Well, as reet as we can be, that is.’
The ding of the receiver as it was put back on its hook sounded like a death knell to Sarah. Her mouth dried and her body shook. She wanted to scream, Don’t tell me, but no words would come from her.
‘Come and sit down, lass.’
As she followed her dad through to the sitting room, it seemed he’d grown back to the man he’d been before . . . Her mind wouldn’t give her the ‘before’. She’d never been able to think of it or acknowledge it, and she never would. If she did, she would go mad.
Once they were in the room, her dad slumped into the chair. ‘It’s Richard and Mark.’
‘No!’
‘They’re injured. Mark more than Richard. Mark’s in danger of losing his sight. And he . . . he lost an arm.’
The tears that dropped from her dad’s eyes and ran down his cheeks struck a terrible fear into her. She willed him to tell her of Richard.
‘Richard’s burned. His arms and thighs. And he’s bruised, very badly bruised.’
‘Oh, dear God!’ Her utterance was one of relief. They were both alive. Broken, but alive. ‘When did it happen?’
‘Two or three days ago – I’m not certain, I didn’t take it all in. But both on the same day. It beggars belief. Look, lass, we might have a lot more to face. None to top what has happened to us already, but we’ve to be strong. I know I haven’t been, not up till now, but I am now. Megan and Ma would want that of me.’
‘It’s all right, Dad. I know. But yer know, despite it all, the worst that could happen to me hasn’t done. And even though what went on near broke me, it didn’t come near what I would feel if I lost Richard. And that helps me to understand how much more than me you’re going through.’
‘Eeh, lass.’
She was in Jack’s arms, feeling his tears drop into her hair. She knew his words had been bravado and wondered how he’d found the strength to say them. For such a good man to have loved and lost two women: her mam, Cissy, and now Megan. And to have known such tragedy in his life, even as a young man, losing his brother and father to war and his mam to a broken heart. It didn’t seem right.
A shrill ringing intruded on them. For a moment she couldn’t think what it was, then she realized it could be Sally ringing. Sally often rang on a Saturday afternoon, to check up on how she was doing and tell her how much she liked her work, and to talk of Mark’s love for her. How would she tell Sally what had happened?
Picking up the receiver and hearing who it was released some of her tension as Richard’s beloved voice came to her. ‘Sarah?’
‘Oh, Richard, my love. Are you all right?’
‘Yes, I am. I wanted to ring you to reassure you. A bit bandaged, and my limbs are painful, but lucky really.’
The catch in his voice caught at her heart. ‘But you’re alive, my darling. And you will heal, thank God. But poor Mark. Oh, Richard . . .’
‘I – I know. It – it’s still touch and go with him.’
‘Where is he? Can we go and see him?’
‘No, he’s still on the hospital ship. Look, I’m getting out of this hospital in the next few days. They need the beds, and I can recuperate at home.’
‘Eeh, that’s good news, love. Will you come up and see us?’
‘I need to be with Mother and Father. It has rocked their world, both of us having been injured at the same time. They lived with the possibility of something happening, of course, but now it is a reality, and Mother in particular has taken it very hard.’
‘I’ll come down. I have to see you.’
‘I want you to so badly, but it isn’t safe. You are so near to having the baby, and the shock of this and the journey will be too much.’
‘I’m fine. I have three weeks to go yet and I have petrol, so I can drive down. They’d class this as an essential journey, wouldn’t they? It’s not like I’m travelling for nowt. Me man has been injured fighting in the Battle of Britain, and I need to be with him.’
‘Oh, Sarah, you called me yours?’
‘Aye, I did, and if you’ll have me, that’s what I am – and have always been – Richard.’
‘Have you? Sarah, I love you with everything that is in me. But I can’t bear anything to happen to you. You must take care and, well . . . not just you. You have to take care of your baby, as he or she, whatever it turns out to be, is precious to me as well. I – I hope you don’t mind me saying that?’
‘Mind? Eeh, Richard, it’s the next best thing to you saying you love me. None of what happened is me babby’s fault, and he or she deserves all the love we can give.’
‘And that’s what will happen. We’ll take care of, and love, the baby together. I’ll always be there for you both, my darling.’
Sarah felt as though her heart would burst, such was the happiness seeping into her. But then Sally came into her mind. ‘Oh, Richard, thank you. You have put me back together again, but, though I don’t want to spoil this moment, my heart bleeds for Sally.’
‘I know, darling. Do you think Mark knows how she feels about him?’
‘Yes, she has written to him.’
‘I’m so glad, as he will have that to hold onto. You know, when something bad happens, you need something. I thought constantly of you, my darling.’
Sarah swallowed hard, as tears threatened.
‘And this will be good news for my parents, too. They’ll be so happy to hear about Sally and Mark. We’d all guessed how Mark felt, but weren’t sure about Sally. I didn’t say anything to them, when you confided in me how Sally had told you of her feelings. I don’t know why. Perhaps because they hadn’t really connected then, but now that Sally has written and Mark knows, I’ll share it with Mum and Dad. It will give them hope that Mark has a lot to fight for, and I know they will do what they can for Sally.’
‘That’s good. I’ll contact her. Maybe she will get leave, on compassionate grounds. We’ll all take care of her. Richard, I have to see you. I’ll set out tomorrow. Will you be home then?’
‘Yes, darling, but please take care.’
As Richard rang off, telling her over and over again how much he loved her, Sarah thought of what he’d also said many times during their conversation. Take care. Yes, she would take care. I’ll take care of the love I’ve been given, and of all those who need me. It’s taking care of folk that’s made me strong again.
In some ways Sarah thought it was wrong to feel this happy, when all around her there was suffering, but she couldn’t help it. And she never wanted to stop feeling this way.