When you decide to stop texting with someone you’re already dating, there is a single exception to the no-texting rule. If your date is already set and he texts to confirm your plans, go ahead and respond. At this point, there is no need to rock the boat before your date. You can start your texting boycott the minute the date is over.
Elaine had been texting with Richard for the two months that they’d been dating, but a week came when he texted exclusively. They had Saturday night plans to attend a concert, but Elaine decided to stop answering his texts and see whether he would call. That Friday he texted, “What time tomorrow?”
Elaine read his message and was annoyed by all of the things that he was not saying, like “Looking forward to it!” or “Can’t wait to see you!” She thought, “I cannot believe that I didn’t even get a ‘hi.’” At this point, she was upset that she had been treated so casually for two months and had not received one phone call from Richard that week.
Instead of starting her texting boycott after their date, Elaine did not respond. Saturday morning Richard texted, “Hello?” She decided to wait and see whether he’d call. He didn’t, and Elaine missed her date.
In Richard’s mind, Elaine was ignoring him. For two months, texting had been an appropriate form of communication between them. There was no need for her to have changed the pattern right before their date, when the “no more texting” plan could have been started just as easily afterwards.
There is no way we can be sure that Richard would have started calling her if Elaine had stopped texting him the following week. This is disappointing, but it lets you know that he was only contacting you because it was easy, not because he had to have you. However, Richard had asked to see her that Saturday and was contacting her to confirm details. Ceasing text communication when there are plans on the table will make a man feel ignored and rejected.
Texting does not become the hard-to-get girl. You might be excited that you can get away with not texting and want to follow this advice immediately. However, take a lesson from Elaine and make sure not to change the plan if it will threaten a date you’ve already landed. That way, you will never wonder whether ignoring his texts made him feel rejected or waiting a week would have made all the difference.
Some women will bite the bullet and stop texting immediately, even if they have a date scheduled. If you are willing to risk missing your date, you’ll know that much sooner whether he’s really interested in you. There is nothing wrong with implementing a texting boycott immediately, but it’s not necessary to gamble with your date.
If you have plans for something two or three weeks away, like a wedding, graduation, or concert, it’s fine to stop texting now. In fact, it may be the perfect time—if you have already committed to the date and he really wants you there, he will definitely call.
1. You’re going to a sporting event with Mr. Handsome on Saturday night. He normally texts, but you want to see if he’ll call. You:
a) Decide that after this date, you’ll no longer text.
b) Opt to stop texting immediately. If he must have you, he’ll call.
c) Want to continue texting because everything is going so well.
d) A & B
e) None of the above.
2. Mr. Handsome asks you to his brother’s wedding, a month away. You:
a) Stop texting now. There’s plenty of time to see whether he’ll call.
b) Continue texting. He’ll be upset if you miss the wedding.
c) Promise yourself to stop texting after the wedding. You don’t want to ruin a chance to meet his family.
d) B & C
e) All of the above.
3. To stop texting when big family plans with his family are on the horizon is:
a) A bad idea. It’ll ruin your chances for something serious.
b) Risky because Mr. Handsome will be mad at you.
c) Inconsistent of you, since you’ve always texted before.
d) All of the above.
e) None of the above.
Answer: 1) D; 2) A; 3) E
1. What is the likelihood that Mr. Handsome will call if you stop texting after your next date?
2. If he stops calling, what’s your plan to get back out there and start dating?
3. Are you nervous about not responding to his texts before the next big event? Write down how the benefits of knowing he wants you outweigh your fears.