If you’re already in the habit of texting with him, you can text him back about plans. Don’t tell him to call you. Even if texting back and forth is cumbersome, you can’t tell him to call. He might not want to talk. When he texts you about plans, though, you can be confident that he wants to know what your thoughts are for the date.
One reason not to text at all is that you might get frustrated by the inconvenience of hunching over a keypad. Undoubtedly, it is faster to discuss plans over the phone. Many people champion texting as a means of expediting communication, but this isn’t always the case.
Jacqueline had just started seeing Ethan, a friend who had pursued her for over a year. She knew he was crazy about her. Although she wasn’t a fan of texting, they had frequently exchanged texts as friends before they started dating. Even after Ethan won her over, Jacqueline still responded to his texts.
On the morning of their Saturday night date, Ethan texted and asked whether she wanted to go out for an early dinner and later have dessert and watch a movie on his boat. She said it sounded like fun. He asked what she felt like for dinner, and Jacqueline responded, “Italian.”
Ethan asked what entrée she preferred so that he would know where to take her. Jacqueline texted that she liked eggplant parmesan. Ethan wrote, “Well, I know of two places with great food. Here are the websites, take a look at the menus and let me know which one looks good to you. I will make a reservation.”
She logged onto the internet and took a look at the menus, decided the restaurant that was most appealing, and texted Ethan with her choice. Ethan replied, “Ok, what time?”
Jacqueline responded, “What time did you have in mind?”
Ethan responded, “How about five p.m. for a reservation?” Jacqueline answered, “Sure, five works!”
Five minutes later, Ethan texted, “Oops, they don’t open until six for dinner, did you like the other restaurant?”
Jacqueline was starting to get annoyed. She suspected that she was being unreasonable. After all, it was nice that Ethan was giving her the option to choose the restaurant. She didn’t want to make him feel badly; he was trying hard to impress her. She responded, “Yes, that sounds fine.”
Ethan texted, “Ok, we’re set for five. When will you be ready?”
“4:30.”
“Ok, great. I’ll pick up dessert so we can go straight to the boat after dinner. What would you like?”
Jacqueline was ready to pull her hair out. She didn’t want to tell him to just call her, because she didn’t want to seem bossy. She simply replied, “You decide!”
Ethan said, “Well, I want to buy something that you like.”
Jacqueline couldn’t control herself anymore and lost her cool. She responded, “Ethan, we’ve exchanged almost ten texts already. Can’t text anymore. I have to run. See you at 4:30!”
Jacqueline’s abrupt text hurt Ethan’s feelings. He responded briefly, “Ok, see you at 4:30.”
She read it and regretted answering him so nastily. Her impatience had gotten the better of her and she really didn’t want to start fighting with the man who had pursued her for over a year. When Ethan arrived that night, he explained, “I’m sorry we texted so much today. I would’ve called, but didn’t have my Bluetooth on me. I didn’t want to get pulled over for talking on a cell phone. I was running around, trying to plan for tonight.”
Jacqueline realized then that she needed to find a way to stop texting, because she knew she couldn’t endure ten text messages for a date. There would probably be other times that Ethan would forget his Bluetooth or have some other legitimate reason for not calling. She didn’t want to be impatient with a man who was bending over backwards to demonstrate his interest in her.
There was nothing Jacqueline could’ve done to keep Ethan from texting so many times because their pattern had already been established. She didn’t make any mistakes in her responses; in fact, they were perfect. Ethan was texting her on a Saturday morning for early dinner plans, so she could only put so much space between her responses.
She regretted losing her temper a bit. It wasn’t like she had nagged him or cussed at him, but the hard-to-get girl does her best not to sound terse with men. She could have bitten the bullet and finished texting the plans for that night, then found a way to stop texting altogether during the following week.
No one is perfect, but strive to be less emotional when you interact with men. It’s not fair to get impatient with a man for texting after you lead him to believe that texting is acceptable to you. Use discretion and remember that less is definitely more. Do the best you can in situations like these. Especially if you’re not texting about a date that is on the same day, try to put as much space between your responses as possible. Remember to let him suggest plans, but if he asks whether you would like to go for sushi or have Mexican food, you can tell him your preference.
Even if you love texting and are fine with all of the back and forth about plans, don’t get excited and give away too much. Don’t use text as an excuse to have a conversation about what you’re doing that day or ask him what he is up to. Only answer the questions he poses about your date. And you don’t have to come across as cold—feel free to throw in exclamation points.
The two best texts you can receive are requests for dates and confirmation of plans. They are proof that he wants to see you! As long as you remember that less is definitely more, you’ll soon be out on your date.
1. You’re exchanging texts with Mr. Handsome about Saturday night plans, and you’re frustrated that he doesn’t call. You:
a) Space your text responses. You’ll stop texting after the next date to end the long text conversations.
b) Ask him to call. It’s rude that he’s texted so many times.
c) Stop responding. He’ll get the hint and call.
d) Send him a text about what you want to do on the date. May as well cut to the chase.
e) None of the above.
2. You’re exchanging texts with Mr. Handsome about Saturday night plans, and you’re thrilled he’s being so attentive. You:
a) Take advantage of the opportunity and try and chat more.
b) Ask how his day went. He’s texting about plans. You can be polite.
c) Tell him you’re excited for the date and appreciate him making plans.
d) Play it cool. Only respond to what you must.
e) None of the above.
3. A man who texts to confirm plans is:
a) Not doing anything out of the ordinary. He knows you’re willing to text.
b) Sending one of the best texts a man can send. He’s planning to see you!
c) Rude. He should know to call and not treat you so casually.
d) None of the above.
e) A & B
Answers: 1) A; 2) D; 3) E
1. Mr. Handsome sent several texts about plans. Have you ever felt as if you’re being treated casually?
2. When a man has sent several texts about plans, did he ever not treat you as well on the date?
3. If a man has texted about plans, have you ever found the exchange cumbersome? How did you react? Did you achieve the result you wanted?