No. Texting to confirm plans is never a good idea. Ever. As the hard-to-get girl, you must confidently believe that he wants to see you. After all, he set the date intending to go out with you. It’s up to you to act as if you didn’t even notice that he hasn’t given you details about your date. For all he knows, so many other men are pursuing you that you forget who’s giving details and who isn’t.
You might reason that it’s worthwhile to text to find out the details. You want to plan your day so you won’t have to rush to get ready. You want sufficient time to finish your manicure, go tanning, blow out your hair, perfect your makeup, get dressed, maybe take a quick nap, eat a light lunch, walk the dog, and even clean your apartment in case he comes upstairs.
While this makes perfect sense, texting for the details is a bad idea because it tells him that you like him. Essentially, you’re saying, “Please let me know what’s going on with our date because I’m thinking about our plans!” The only circumstance in which you should contact him is when you are canceling. On that note, do your best to never cancel dates.
Sending a text of this nature can appear impatient. It’s like saying, “Have you even planned our date yet?” This could put pressure on a man, and might embarrass him if he has to tell you he hasn’t. He may be busy; as busy as you are, even. Were the roles reversed, would you want someone texting you, “What’s going on?”
He could also volley the question back and say, “Haven’t had a chance to plan yet. Was there something you wanted to do?” You don’t want to know if he hasn’t made the plans yet; it can be upsetting to find out that he has not planned anything special. It also opens the door further for you to take matters into your own hands and plan the evening for him, which demonstrates your affection for him—something you are not ready to do yet. Most men plan on arriving between six and eight p.m. Be ready around then. Granted, it’s a two-hour window of uncertainty, but it’s better to endure that than to let him see you as impatient and nagging.
Finally, texting about details could make him think that you’re insecure. Innocently asking, “Hey, what time tomorrow night?” could be understood in his mind as, “Are we still on? I’m nervous because you haven’t told me what we’re doing.” Assume that you have a date. Your job in the beginning stages of dating is to show up and look as hot as possible. This is how he will forever remember you during your courtship, your relationship, and your marriage. If he has something special planned and wants you to wear white to a theme party, he’ll tell you.
Nicole hadn’t heard from Jarrod about the details of their Saturday night date. All Jarrod told her when he set the date was that he would pick her up. That afternoon, Jarrod texted Nicole and said, “Be there at 7:30.” She had utterly no idea what they were doing, how to dress, or whether he was coming inside afterwards. Nicole knew, though, that her mission was to look fantastic. She put on a figure-hugging dress and four-inch heels and was ready when he arrived.
When she went outside to meet Jarrod, he was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a button- down shirt. He said she looked beautiful and felt awkward to be underdressed in the presence of such a gorgeous woman. Nicole did not assure him that he looked fine, and just replied, “Thank you!” Sure, she felt a bit overdressed, but didn’t care. She was in it for the long haul with Jarrod. It didn’t matter whether their styles were perfectly matched. Plus, there was no harm in letting him think she looked this hot for all of her dates, even (and especially) with other men.
She also didn’t say, “Oh, you’re wearing jeans!” as a way to gently chastise him. Hard-to-get girls don’t correct men about minor issues like clothing. It’s better that he admits that he’s underdressed and figure it out for next time than ruin the start of what could be a great date.
1. Don’t text a man to confirm plans for all of the reasons below except:
a) It’s actually not a problem to text about details. You need to know what to wear.
b) You want to appear confident that he wants to see you.
c) You won’t seem busy. He’ll know you’re waiting and how much you like him.
d) It won’t seem as if other men are pursuing you.
e) You might appear insecure and worried.
2. You’re overdressed for your date because he didn’t text with the details. You:
a) Chastise him for not telling you the plans.
b) Nicely tell him that you feel overdressed and ask him to text next time.
c) Couldn’t care less. You look hot and know he appreciates it.
d) Say you’re going back inside to change into something more appropriate.
e) None of the above.
3. If you text about the details for the date, it could potentially:
a) Embarrass him if he hasn’t had a chance to plan it.
b) Place pressure on him to plan the details when he might be busy.
c) Make him volley it back to you to plan the date.
d) A, B, & C
e) None of the above.
Answers: 1) A; 2) C; 3) D
1. Has there ever been an occasion when you had a date planned but didn’t know the details? Did you call or text to find out what they were? How did he react?
2. If you did text, did you wish later that you hadn’t? If so, write down the reasons and keep them around so you know not to do this again.
3. Have you ever been overdressed for a date? Did you say anything to him? Did it make for a tense situation?