You’re ready for your date and Mr. Handsome is late. Can you send a quick text to find out when he will arrive? As a general rule, the answer is no, don’t text. Leave it alone. If you are already playing hard-to-get, chances are he will either call or text with a traffic update every five or ten minutes. If he isn’t like this and is leaving you wondering, you might find it difficult to resist the impulse to check in.
Whether you can text to check on him depends on a variety of factors. How long have you been seeing each other? How late is he? What do you have planned? Is weather a possible factor? While this may seem like a lot to consider before you send a simple text, it all deserves analysis.
All of these questions are worth examining because the one female trait that makes men run for the hills like nothing else is a woman who comes off as a nag. Men can’t stand feeling like they have to check in with the woman they’re dating. Be ever so careful not to step on a man’s toes in this way. Don’t make him feel as if a relationship with you will entail punching a time card. After all, no woman wants a man to fast-forward to his marriage or long-term relationship with her and imagine himself hen-pecked. So don’t text unless it’s absolutely crucial.
Another reason not to check up on him: you don’t want to appear insecure. When a man’s driving to you and sees this text, he might think you’re suspicious that he’s standing you up. Don’t send it—let him think you’re adding that last dab of lip gloss or a final spray of perfume. He doesn’t want to think you’re staring at the phone and wringing your handkerchief in frail desperation.
It’s irresponsible to invite him to text while he’s driving, anyway. It’s dangerous for him and everyone else on the road. His phone could have slipped between the seats, and if he thinks you’re trying to find him, he might try to fish for it on the highway. The last thing you need is to feel responsible for a fatal crash.
If you’re beside yourself with worry and must know whether he’s okay, ask yourself these questions:
Ask yourself whether you’re really that worried about him or you just find it rude that he hasn’t let you know he’s running late. Remember, you’re playing for a long-term relationship, for marriage. There is plenty of time down the road for perfect dates. You might think you’re merely sending a text out of concern, but he could perceive it quite differently. You want to seem as secure as humanly possible.
While you wait for him to show up, watch TV, pay the bills, read a magazine, call a friend. Think nice thoughts about how lucky you are to have a man on his way to see you and take you out. Promise yourself that when he arrives you’ll be gracious. Otherwise, he’ll be unhappy he went out of his way to find a sour-faced woman. If you’re stood up, refer to the last chapter and go out anyway—always have a Plan B.
1. All of the following are great reasons not to text if he’s late, except:
a) Not texting lessens the likelihood that you’ll seem like a nag.
b) He won’t feel hen-pecked and like he has to punch a timecard with you.
c) If you text, then he’ll know to do so in the future so he won’t keep you waiting.
d) You don’t endanger him or others while he’s driving.
e) You’ll appear secure and confident that you know he’ll show, even though he’s late.
2. When examining whether to text, consider only the following factors:
a) How long you’ve been dating. If it’s only your third or fourth date, don’t text.
b) What are the weather conditions? If it’s a clear night, don’t text.
c) What do you have planned? If you’re just hanging out, don’t text.
d) A, B, & C
e) None of the above.
3. While you’re waiting for him, you should be doing everything except:
a) Promising yourself that when he arrives you’ll be gracious.
b) Thinking of the long talk you’ll have about how rude it is to keep someone waiting.
c) Reminding yourself that you’re playing for a relationship or marriage.
d) Thinking about how lucky you are to have a man you like taking you out on a date.
e) Applying lip gloss, spraying on a little perfume—anything to keep busy!
Answers: 1) C; 2) D; 3) B
1. In the past, when you’ve texted to check on a man who’s running late, were you concerned or annoyed that you were kept waiting?
2. Have you ever started a fight because a man was running late? Was he otherwise crazy about you? Did you regret it?
3. Write down all of the nice things that he does. If he habitually runs late for your dates, refer to the list when you’re frustrated.