Never respond to his texts after nine p.m. You are not available to him at all hours. Even if it takes him a while to catch on, he will recognize that he has to try to reach you earlier in the day. Let him wonder why you’re not available at night. What are you doing that you can’t respond? The uncertainty will bring him closer to you.
Never respond to texts on weekends that you won’t be together. At the beginning of a courtship with a Rules Girl, he might not understand that he needs to ask for Saturday by Wednesday. Consistent Saturday night dating might take a month and a half to fall into place. This is fine as long as he’s still trying to ask you out. If he takes longer than a month or so to get with the program, though, something’s up. He’s probably seeing someone else and it’s time for you to move on.
Whether it’s Friday night, Saturday, or Sunday when he texts to say hello, a Rules girl flat-out ignores him. Make him wonder what you’re doing, whether you’re out with another man who drives a better car than he does, makes more money, shows you a better time. If you exchange texts with him on the weekend, he won’t be anxious about his competition. Moreover, he’ll have less incentive to secure next Saturday night in plenty of time. He has to earn your attention: if he hasn’t made plans with you for that weekend, he doesn’t get to hear from you until next week.
Never respond to his texts if he just wants to chat. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting to chat with you—it means he’s thinking about you. But you are a Creature Unlike Any Other (CUAO) and are too busy to text casually. If your next date is set, the time and place confirmed, and he texts during the week to ask how your day went, don’t respond. Even if you’re tempted to type back, “Hi! I’m great!” don’t do it. Hold out until Saturday and catch up in person; he’ll be more excited to hear about your week by then.
If he continues to text—let’s face it, some men will—only respond to one of his every three or four texts. It isn’t Rules to go text-for-text with a man. You don’t have that kind of time on your hands! You’re a busy girl with important things to do. It often slips your mind to check your phone for idle messages from him. And anyway, men will text because they’re waiting in line at the bank or sitting in traffic. You’re not there to rescue him from boredom; he can text a buddy if he wants immediate social interaction. Better he wonder where you are than unravel your enigma with each beeping text.
1. Mr. Handsome had a busy day and texts, “Hello!” at 10 p.m. You:
a) Send him a quick text “hello.” You know he misses you.
b) Do nothing. You want to text him, but don’t want to start a bad pattern.
c) Exchange a few texts with him. It’s fine to say “good night,” but you won’t make a habit of it.
d) Text him the next morning so he doesn’t feel ignored.
e) None of the above.
2. The man you like didn’t make plans for the weekend. On Saturday night he texts, “What’re you up to?” You:
a) Wait until Monday to respond with, “Hi, had plans, so sorry!”
b) Text him and say you’re headed out for the evening. You can respond to let him know you’re going out.
c) Text when you get home. It’s after 9, but you shouldn’t ignore him all night.
d) Feel badly, so you invite him out with your friends.
e) Text him Sunday morning so he can ask for plans for that day.
3. Texts that don’t warrant a response include:
a) “Hi, sitting in traffic. How’s your day’s going?”
b) A hello text on a Monday when plans are already solidified for Saturday.
c) A text with no mention of plans.
d) All of the above.
e) None of the above.
Answers: 1) B; 2) A; 3) D
1. Which other texts can you safely ignore? Keep track as you receive them.
2. Have you ever made the mistake of texting with a man you liked on a weekend when he didn’t make plans? Did you still feel like the hard-to-get girl after you did?
3. When responding to a man’s text that came in after 9 p.m., are they yielding dates? Do you notice that you aren’t being contacted until later in the day because you keep responding?