Six years ago I was living alone in Chicago and decided that an animal was in order. It was tricky, though. A dog needed walking three times a day in freezing temperatures during the winter. I am violently allergic to cats, so that left me thinking about what other animals would fit my “don’t need walking and won’t cause allergies” model.
Birds I could not hug. Fish the same. No thanks to lizards and snakes. So after exhaustive research, I decided upon bunnies. Cute floppy ears, wiggly noses, whiskers—what’s not to love?
Soon after finding a bunny shelter in Chicago, I adopted my first bunny, Theodore (Teddy) Wiggles. Teddy is a gorgeous Rex with the plushest fur, the likes of which I have never seen. He is white with lots of cow-like brown spots. I cradled him in my arms and utterly fell in love. I took him home alone to get him acclimated and returned to the shelter a week later to adopt a pal for him.
Bunny bonding can be very tricky. One bunny is placed into an enclosed area and another is introduced. Like humans, they have very particular taste in their mates. Unlike humans (well, most humans, at least), if they do not like another bunny, they will start fighting within seconds. While the idea of two floppy-eared bunnies scuffling might seem cute, it is unsettling to a bunny mommy.
The shelter volunteers said that bunnies bond best when they are of the opposite sex, and reassured me that all of theirs were fixed. The first bunny they brought to Teddy was a cute beige Flemish giant named Sophie, weighing in at twelve pounds (Teddy is only about seven). As soon as the volunteers placed her into the cage, Teddy and Sophie started fighting. They immediately removed her. Looking back, I think her size intimidated him. Teddy was a man who only liked petite women, and no one bigger.
Up next was Jasmine, a beautiful chocolate brown Rex rabbit. I was happy to see that Teddy and she did not start immediately fighting. He merely waited on his side of the cage. Jasmine, though beautiful, did not play hard-to-get. She bounced over to Teddy in an attempt to introduce herself. Teddy, in turn, bounced away. Jasmine followed. Again, Teddy moved away. Jasmine chased. This time, Teddy stayed.
I breathed a sigh of relief. But then Jasmine misread Teddy’s stillness as an invitation to move even closer. Teddy decided that he had it with her forwardness and started fighting with her. Jasmine was soon scooped up and taken away.
Poor Jasmine. She would have been better off waiting to see if Teddy would approach her. She rejoined her fellow single bunny, Sophie, in the cage so they could shake their heads at Teddy’s assertion and discuss their bewilderment about bunny men. Jasmine was the equivalent of the girl who just wanted the man to like her. Like many women, she only wanted to get to know Teddy. He was willing to give her a chance, yet her constant pursuit was a turn-off.
Then they brought in a dark gray French lop named Dixie. She was about the same size as Teddy, but not quite as pretty as Jasmine. Though not the cutest girl at the party, Dixie held her ground and did not approach him. In fact, she did not even look at him. Teddy eyed her curiously, but did not move. Like the man who is used to women approaching him, Teddy felt no need to chase because he probably figured she would go to him.
As a bunny mommy, I was becoming anxious. Dixie was now the third bunny we had tried to bond to Teddy and I very much hoped the last. I kept waiting for the ax to fall and a fight to begin, but they both just stayed in their corners. Then Teddy started grooming himself, completely ignoring Dixie.
The volunteers were happy, saying that Dixie was Teddy’s fit. I protested, “But he is not even paying attention to her!” They told me that it didn’t matter because Teddy felt comfortable enough to groom himself in front of her. In other words, she was low maintenance. Taking their word for it, I signed the adoption papers for Dixie Wiggles and took my new bunny family home.
For the first couple of days, I sat on my kitchen floor with them and supervised their bonding. Teddy stayed a healthy distance away from Dixie and she did likewise. I became concerned, wondering if they would ever be close. They were not fighting, just disinterested. Little did I know that Dixie was playing hard-to-get.
I let them both out of the kitchen so they could run around. After a bit, Dixie laid down in the kitchen and Teddy in the living room. I noticed that he always made sure he was able to watch her, but all the while she minded her own business. Progressively, Teddy started lying closer to Dixie. Foot by foot, he approached her. Not once did Dixie use his interest as an excuse to meet him halfway or misconstrue it as an invitation to play.
Two days later, Teddy finished chewing on some hay and decided to lay down right in front of Dixie. I held my breath, not sure whether they would fight. But as any good mommy knows, you have to let go occasionally. He stretched out luxuriously in front of her, showing off his gorgeous coat. Dixie, being the devastatingly hard-to-get bunny that she is, waited until Teddy trustingly put his head down to rest. Then she lightly bounced away.
Teddy jerked his head up in shock and chased after her. When he caught up to her, he became submissive and put his head under hers. I was in disbelief. Again, Dixie hopped away. I watched in amazement. Dixie was running the show the whole time. She was not waiting for Teddy to come to her! She minded her own business, which made Teddy want her even more.
That night, I put them into a three-story bunny cage with ramps connecting one floor to another. I was nervous leaving them alone in their cage, despite Teddy happily chasing Dixie around earlier that day. I put a board over the opening that separated Teddy and Dixie’s floors and went to sleep.
In the middle of the night, I went for a glass of water and walked past their cage. I did a double-take and saw that Teddy had clawed the board away and climbed up to the floor where Dixie was. They were lying together sleeping. The rest is history. To this day, even though Dixie has Teddy’s love, she still plays hard-to-get and Teddy keeps chasing. Dixie is proof that a hard-to-get girl reigns supreme, even in the animal kingdom.