What do you do when you’re at the gym, at the grocery store, or out with your girlfriends when Mr. Handsome approaches you? How do you get him to ask for your phone number? How do you recover if he doesn’t?
Most women have endured the agony of not being asked for her number after a great conversation with a good-looking man. They ruminate about whether they said or did something wrong, but there are many reasons a man may not ask for your number. Some are not within your control, while others, obviously, are. You cannot control his interest in someone else or the fact that he is hung up on his ex. He could also be married or have a girlfriend and is just not telling you
One of the biggest reasons a man will not ask for your number is that you are simply not his type. You might be tall and he likes petite women. You might have dark hair and he likes blondes. You might not have the right ethnicity, faith, or speaking manner. There are tons of men that want a certain type of woman.
The factors that lie within your control include whether you initiate contact and act overly interested. The cardinal rule of the hard-to-get girl is to never talk to a man first. If you do, it is as good as over. At the end of many unhealthy relationships in which a woman is being treated badly, it is often clear that the problem began when she made the first move or did too much pursuing.
Some women will approach a man under the guise of needing to know the time. They argue that it is not technically approaching him first and it’s not like they are asking him for a date. More often than not, though, he still won’t ask for her number. If he didn’t approach her, he doesn’t have to have her. It always works best when a man talks to a woman first.
Another way to harm your chances is to act overly interested. Hard-to-get girls have been known to get through entire conversations without asking men a single question. Men become so engrossed in learning more about a girl like this that they don’t even notice that she isn’t asking him a million questions. In place of her inquiries is a girl who understands the value of mystery and charm.
Wanting to get to know a man is not a bad thing. If you find yourself doing most of the talking, though, try letting the conversation die and see whether he resumes it. Do not be afraid to do this. If you are not used to letting a conversation die with a man, it will be uncomfortable at first. However, you must stick with it.
You might be inclined to argue that asking people questions about themselves lets them know that you are truly interested in them. While this might be true at a professional networking event, we are talking about romance and seduction. When it comes to meeting your Mr. Handsome, nothing will excite him more than mystery. Here, you are playing hard-to-get in order to get and keep the guy you want.
You don’t have to sit there mute. Laugh at his jokes if they are funny! Enjoy the conversation. But do as little as you can to keep it going. It will help you determine whether he must have you. You will feel that much better when he does ask for your number.
If you’re doubtful about whether playing hard-to-get works, try thinking about the times when a man didn’t ask for your number. Did you make some of these mistakes? Get some practice with this on a man you aren’t particularly attracted to. That way you can see it in action without worrying that you are driving away someone special. Once you are acclimated to the technique, you will enjoy watching a man stammer a bit as he attempts to make conversation with you.
Lest you think this advice is silly, remember that men love recounting stories about the women whose attention he initially couldn’t get. Even if a woman is a bit cold, a man likes knowing that he broke through where no other man could. He regards it as an opportunity to conquer. How he remembers your first encounter will be how he remembers you forever; better he remember you as the mysterious girl than the one who asked him out on a date or talked too much. In romance, never forget that you are setting the stage for a long-term relationship and marriage from the moment you meet.
Final don’ts include not standing next to him all night long, winking, constantly looking in his direction, talking to his friend in hopes that he’ll join you, licking your lips, or giving him friendly touches on the arm. None of these moves work. He will see through it to your desperation. Be assured that if he must have you he will find a way to get a hold of you. It is of the utmost importance to him that he dates you. He won’t risk never seeing you again or, worse, that you will start dating someone else.
No matter where you meet him, never talk to Mr. Handsome for longer than ten minutes. Don’t worry that this is not enough time for you to get to know each other. Let him ask for a date if he wants to get to know you more. As seen with Jessica, a man will ask for your number in five minutes if he likes you.
If you are at a singles event, don’t spend the whole night being cozy with him at the bar. This is the kiss of death; you will sacrifice any and all of the sexy mystery you should have going. Besides, you are at a dating event to meet men. Meet the whole room! Talking to him all night lets him know that you like him the most—not something he should know. He should be devising clever things to say to garner your attention.
Never leave your friends for him, either. He will notice this and not respect you as much. You want him to remember you as the happy social butterfly who is interested in all the world has to offer. Essentially, never let him think that he is worth all of your attention. That is something he has to earn by courting you.
Do not be surprised if a man makes up an excuse to call you. Men are sometimes nervous about asking the hard-to-get girl for her phone number. They cannot figure out whether she is interested or handle the possibility of rejection, so they make up an excuse to ask for her number. If you mention that you are a social media expert and he asks for your number to talk about his tech blog, be normal. If you say that you’re a financial planner and he wants advice planning for retirement, act as if you hear it all the time. You can’t be certain that he likes you if he asks for your phone number this way, but he might. If he calls but doesn’t ask for a date shortly afterwards, then bill him for your time.
If you feel compelled to coyly point out that you know what he is up to, don’t. You might embarrass him. This could make him lose interest and then he won’t call. It will also make an otherwise normal interaction between you two very awkward. How do you want him to remember you? Surely, not as a know-it-all. You do not want to hurt Mr. Handsome’s feelings or make him feel clumsy. That is just not what the hard-to-get girl does.
Jeanine played hard-to-get very well. She liked a man named Brent who attended her church. Brent liked Jeanine, too, but was too shy to ask for her number outright. One day during a church outing to an amusement park, he asked for her number “in case the group is separated.” Jeanine knew what he was up to, but pretended to think nothing of it. She was secretly very pleased he had asked. She played her cards right and Brent proposed a year later. Had Jeanine embarrassed him when he asked for her number and said, “You don’t need to make up an excuse to call me,” he may never have called. A little bit of obnoxiousness goes a long way towards hurting your chances in the dating game.
It seems like a lot of pressure to follow all of this correctly, but like anything else, practice makes perfect. Once you get the hang of it, men will ask for your number and follow-up with phone calls in droves. The best part is that as your relationship becomes more serious, he will always remember you as the girl whose number he had to work for.
1. Your conversation with Mr. Handsome lulls. You:
a) Ask questions to keep the conversation going.
b) Tell a joke. Nothing cures dating jitters like humor.
c) Sit quietly with a smile and wait for him to find something to discuss.
d) Ask, “Are you okay?” It’s better to keep lines of communication open.
e) None of the above.
2. You’re out with friends and meet Mr. Handsome. You:
a) Talk to him for ten minutes before rejoining your friends.
b) Talk to him for an hour. Your friends can talk to each other.
c) Invite him to sit with you and your friends so you can all get to know each other.
d) Talk to him for half an hour and agree to meet him later for coffee.
e) Spend the night talking to him. He’s willing to leave his friends and so are you.
3. During your first conversation, Mr. Handsome asks what you do. You reply that you’re a marketing consultant. He says, “I’m an entrepreneur and need help marketing. What’s your number?” You respond:
a) “You can admit that you want to go out on a date with me.”
b) “Great, I have lots of ideas for new business marketing! It’s my forté!”
c) “Seriously, you’re asking me to help you with your new business? Thanks anyway.”
d) “My schedule is really packed until the end of the year.”
e) “Sure, sounds good! I can be reached at . . .”
Answers: 1) C; 2) A; 3) E
1. Have you ever approached a man first, hoping he would ask for your number? Did he?
2. What have you done on a first date when the conversation hit a lull? If you tried to make conversation, what was his response?
3. How long have you talked to a man you just met when you were out with friends? Did he ask for your number? If you were gone for too long, did it bother your friends?