One of the reasons men started texting so much is that women have become lax in answering their cell phones. In a typical scenario, a man calls, the woman doesn’t answer, so he leaves a message. If he is anxious to reach her, he will send a text knowing that it will elicit a faster response than voicemail. Now, the woman is in an odd predicament: should she return the call or answer his text?
Answering the phone is of paramount importance in the beginning stages of dating, no matter how you meet him. Once he has your number, have your phone on you at all times and be ready to answer. When he does reach you, adhere to The Rules and end the call at ten minutes. If you consistently answer your phone, it will minimize his need to text. Even when you’re at work, put your phone on vibrate and prepare to duck out of a meeting quickly if you must.
Waiting for a man’s phone calls might seem counterintuitive to the girl playing hard-to- get. After all, shouldn’t you focus on yourself and put your work first? While this is generally true, in this scenario, you are trying to get him to ask you for a date. If you play phone tag during the week, you might not have plans with him for the weekend.
It is not desperate to walk around with your phone tied to you because he doesn’t know that you are waiting to hear from him. He has no idea that you are checking your phone hundreds of times to see whether he called. All he knows is that you are the lovely woman on the other end who answers when he calls and agrees to go out on a date with him. Your actions are much more important than your thoughts here—obsessing over a man is understandable. Yet, it’s how you act when he reaches you that matters.
It takes no effort for you to answer the phone, say hello, and talk to him for a few minutes. If he calls and you don’t answer, whether purposefully or not, he may or may not leave a message. Whether you return the call depends entirely on whether he asks for plans in the voicemail. Even if he does ask for plans and you call him back twenty-four hours later, you could end up getting his voicemail. Then you have to await his call again.
All in all, the lesson is to pick up the phone so you can make a date. The benefit of doing this is that you will build dating momentum and routine with him. Too much back and forth allows his interest to wane and can bring on unnecessary, excessive anticipation. Better to move things along and date, marry, or find a life partner than play phone tag.
When Mr. Handsome calls, don’t answer the phone as if you know who he is. Give the impression that you didn’t enter his number into your contacts—you are just that busy. This is a tried and true tactic that makes a man realize that he is not the only one interested in dating you. Don’t answer the phone with a booming, “Hi Brad!” Act a little confused, like you can’t quite place his voice. This will help enormously during the first few dates of your courtship.
Men often deny that this tactic works. When asked, some men will say, “If I knew that I was one of many guys pursuing a girl, I would stop calling her. I refuse to compete.” The reality, though, is that these same men will keep calling a woman if they feel like they must have her. Stick to your guns.
1. When a man calls to ask you out for a date, you:
a) Follow The Rules and end the conversation after ten minutes.
b) Let him end the call since he asked for the date.
c) Hang up once the conversation wanes.
d) Stay on the phone as long as you like, so long as you end the conversation first.
e) None of the above.
2. You’re under a deadline at work when Mr. Handsome calls. You:
a) Let it go to voicemail. You’ll call him later.
b) Don’t answer because you don’t want him to think you’re too available.
c) Answer so you can set a date for the weekend.
d) A & B
e) None of the above.
3. Answer the phone when a man calls because:
a) There’s less need to text if you’re easily reached.
b) Dates are made faster when there is less phone tag involved.
c) He can build a dating routine with you.
d) A, B, & C
e) None of the above.
Answers: 1) A; 2) C; 3) D
1. Have you ever had a man end a phone conversation first? How did you feel?
2. Have you ever purposely let a call from a man go to voicemail? Did he text you afterwards? Were you able to build steady dating momentum?
3. Can you see how answering the phone when a man calls can build dating consistency?