SADIE

When we walked into Coach’s old house, a plethora of memories came flooding in. It was so overwhelming, I had to remind myself to breathe. When we came into the living room, I saw Jason and Trevor on the couch watching a movie.

The last time I was in this living room I was telling Dane he had a son. I also remembered when I was hanging out with everyone and knew I was leaving to go to New York but they didn’t. Dane asked me to marry him, despite all the bullshit I put him through. I think he knew I was about to tell them all I was leaving Stockbridge, so he panicked. He’d probably never admit to it, but I felt it in his plea for me to marry him. This room held so much tension.

“Give me a second. The guys can keep you company.”

Trevor patted the spot next to him. He put an arm around my shoulders when I sat down. “What are you guys doing here?”

“I’m not really sure. Something about show-and-tell.” I looked at Jason. “Hey.”

Trevor scrunched his forehead in confusion.

Jason smiled. “Hey. What are you showing and telling?” he asked as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Sadly, not that kind of show-and-tell. But, he did say he’d be shirtless, so, I’m not complaining.” I laughed.

Trevor’s smile faded and so did Jason’s. “What were you guys talking about before he mentioned a show-and-tell?”

“The Marines.”

I swear Trevor paled some. He turned to Jason. “Please go—”

Jason was already up and hurrying toward where Dane had disappeared.

I scrunched my eyes. “Ummm.”

Trevor patted the seat next to him. “I’m sure Jason can’t talk him out of it, so I’m going to warn you. Dane was injured in Afghanistan.

“How bad?”

He pulled out his phone. “I keep a picture of what he looked like when we saw him, and that was a few weeks after his injury. It’s a reminder that I need to make the most of life and look out for him.” He pushed on a picture before turning it and showing me. It was Dane unconscious with tubes in his nose and mouth. He had a large bandage on his face covering a section of what his beard covered.

“He doesn’t know I still have this. We almost lost him.”

I felt sick. I turned away from the phone and at brought my eyes to Trev. “That’s my fault, isn’t it?”

He put his phone away. “Well, you weren’t the one who shot him but…but you leaving is why he joined the Marines. Well, most of it anyway. He just…lost it. I think he wants you to know why everyone is angry with you, plus he sees himself as a monster. That’s why he grew the beard out.” He gave me a weak smile. “It was a nightmare seeing him like that.”

He’s no monster, I am.

I felt…unworthy. I’d lied to him over and over again, I kept his son from him, I broke his heart so many times that I pushed him to put his life on the line. No, I may not have been the only reason, but I was a huge part of the puzzle that broke him.

“I didn’t tell you this to make you feel bad. Just to prepare you. If he’s wanting to show you, then that’s something big.”

“And me staying here and not running is something big.” I put my trembling hands under my thighs to steady them. “We have to face our demons. It’s the only way to get past it all.”

“That’s what I believe, too.” He looked away from me as Jason came back into the living room.

“Dane didn’t change his mind,” Jason said to me. “He’s in the bathroom upstairs at the end of the hallway.”

I nodded and stood. I took a steadying breath as I walked up the stairs. When I made it to the bathroom, I knocked on the door. The door opened slowly, and he looked down at me. The scar was on the left side of his face on his jawline.

“I was shot” —he touched his chest— “several times.” He kept his face tilted from me some. “I know it looks bad, but the beard covers it up.”

I walked in and shut the door behind me. It was crazy how love gone wrong could push you to the point of insanity. My leap over the edge was running away to New York. Dane’s was joining the Marines and almost getting killed.

I reached up slowly and touched his scars. I studied every bullet hole and the thick scar on his jaw where he trimmed his beard so I could see. I’m sure they were painful reminders of me and how I hurt him.

“I’m so sorry,” I said quietly, my fingers stopping on a bullet wound only a few inches away from his heart. It was covered by a black and white daisy tattoo.

He covered my hand gently with his own. “I wanted to show you this so we can leave the past in the past and to show you why everyone is so overprotective. I tried telling them it was my fault. I’m the one who signed up, but they’re being stubborn.”

“They have every reason to hate me, Dane.” I leaned forward and kissed the top of his hand that held mine.

He gave my hand a squeeze. “We still have a lot to work on, Sadie. Tomorrow, do you want to help me design your part of the house?”

“About that… My parents think it’s a bad idea for me to move in.”

He dropped his hand. “Oh. Okay.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not. We just have a lot of things to take into consideration.”

He nodded. “I know.” He picked up his shirt and started putting it on. “I’ll just make a little house on the property. That way I can use it as a guest house or for you.”

“Dane, I—” I stopped, trying to think of the best way to put what I needed to say. Our focus needed to be 100% on Tate, but I knew if I was close to Dane every single day, I’d start focusing on him and me. We had this undeniable connection, like a force between us that made us forget how to think logically. Or, at least, it was still that way for me.

“I don’t know how to be around you and not want you,” I admitted. “And I know that’s not where our focus needs to be right now.”

He shrugged. “It’s fine. We should focus on Tate.”

I nodded.

“We should head downstairs. I have to be up at four and I’m sure you could use some sleep.”

I tucked some hair that had fallen out of my bun behind my ear. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” I was confused. I had just admitted that I still wanted him, and while he had the appropriate response by blowing it off and agreeing we need to focus on our son, I couldn’t help but wish he would’ve given me some confirmation that he struggled with wanting me too. I was selfish for thinking that at all.

I walked out of the bathroom, Dane following close behind me.

“I’m going to check on Millie. I’ll be down in a second.”

“I’ll just have Trevor take me home.” I put on my best smile.

He gawked at me for a moment. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but he ended up just nodding before disappearing into a room.