Let’s me start by clarifying something—many behavioral experts will disagree with what I’m about to tell you. The reason I recommend this step is because many people depend way too much on “all-or-nothing” solutions when it comes to habit changes. But what I’ve found most effective in my personal life (and when talking to others who are into personal development) is the best long-term results come from making gradual changes in your life.
My advice is to avoid going “cold turkey” on your bad habit. Instead, it’s better to focus on making small changes that compound over time.
Here’s why…
We’ve all tried the cold turkey solution before. You promise you’ll never do a bad habit again. A few days later, you’re doing the exact routine you swore you’d eliminate forever.
True, quitting cold turkey sometimes works. We all know someone who gave up smoking or drinking through sheer force of will without falling off the wagon. But for every success story, there are hundreds of people who try the cold turkey solution and experience complete failure.
The main problem with cold turkey is the overemphasis on perfection.
Most people have this negative mindset:
One mistake = FAILURE!
Nobody is perfect. Having a goal of never again leaves you with no wiggle room when you cave into the temptation of doing the bad habit. Trust me, we all slip from time to time, so focusing on perfection is not the way to change a routine.
Going cold turkey can even make a bad habit worse. When people have insist on 100 percent perfection, they often develop a “what the hell” mindset when making a mistake. This is a phenomenon that’s related to the hot-cold empathy gap we discussed in the section about willpower.
Think about those times when you’re trying to only eat healthy foods. One day, a slice of pizza starts calling to you. “Eat me, eat me!” the pizza is practically screaming, so your willpower snaps and you eat one slice.
What usually happens at this point? Do you count it as a mistake and jump right back into your diet? Not usually.
For most dieters, the response is something like this: “What the hell. I’ve already made a mistake, so I might as well enjoy my failure.”
In essence, if you try to go cold turkey, there is a good chance the “what–the-hell effect” will rear its ugly head. Once this happens, you might slip into a bizarre behavior pattern resulting in complete failure.
This often happens when people go on a diet. Numerous experiments have shown that when someone on a calorie-restricted diet goes over their “limit,” they are far more likely to over-indulge than someone who is not dieting.
Anyone who has dieted in the past can think of a time where they blew their diet in a spectacular manner. (One of the reasons “diet” is considered a bad word by many nutritionists is because it focuses on short-term changes instead of modifying the underlying behavior.)
As we talked about before, willpower is like a muscle. It doesn’t have an on or off switch. Instead, it’s built and strengthened through constant use. It can also wear out and become fatigued. Everything you do that requires willpower weakens your resolve and increases the likelihood that your willpower will break down the next time you try to use it.
The point? It’s easier to chunk down a habit change into small actions. That way, you’re not drawing too much from your overtaxed willpower. The idea here is to create small wins that build emotional momentum, which helps you prevent those spectacular failures that often happen with cold turkey solutions.
As an example, it’s impossible to overhaul your entire diet in a single month. What you could do instead is focus on a small aspect of your diet for the next 30 days, like not eating at a fast food restaurant. Then when you’ve eliminated this habit, you can chip away at the other negative aspects of your diet.
Later on, we’ll talk about how to deal with the “what-the-hell effect.” For now, though, I recommend you avoid the all-or-nothing approach of a cold turkey solution.
CASE STUDY
Notice how I said I’d minimize the cellphone habit, not eliminate it entirely? By studying my own behavior, I determined that the worst times I overused my cellphone were in the early morning and in the late evening. I gave myself a “free pass” to use my cellphone at other times during the day.
Surprisingly, I get so busy during the workday, the thought of checking my cellphone rarely occurs to me.
Did you also notice how, when I started this habit in June, I gave myself a bit of wiggle room on the total number of days (25 out of 30)? That way, I had a little cushion for those occasions when I slipped up. This is the kind of attitude you’ll need to successfully break a bad habit.