Chapter 23

Abby

The week prior to the cruise passed in a crazy and frantic rush. There were many moments when Abby wondered if her cruise tickets were really a prize or a curse. For starters, it just figured that two different parties would want to book a room at her inn the same week of the cruise. Thanks to Caroline’s suggestion, Abby came up with a gracious way to let them down. She apologized profusely, promising a discount coupon for the next time they booked a room with her. Of course, that meant she would lose a bit of money on down the line, but perhaps she would gain a loyal customer or two as well.

The next problem came with Janie. They’d all been so relieved to know that Lisa was safely tucked into her rehab facility in California. But when Abby heard, via Caroline, that the place had an open-door policy, meaning the rehab patients signed themselves in and could sign themselves out—there was no lockdown—she felt concerned. Naturally, that made it very easy for Lisa to walk out on the second day of her stay. Janie was frantic and didn’t know whether to go down there and try to look for Lisa or just wait and see. She confided to Caroline, who told Abby, that if Lisa was out wandering the streets again, Janie might be forced to forgo the cruise! How could she possibly enjoy a luxurious vacation knowing her daughter was starving on the streets? Abby understood that (she was a mother, after all), but it still made her mad.

Janie sat tight, however, and Lisa called the next evening to say she was sorry, that she’d gotten scared, and that she really did want rehab after all. The rehab facility had a one-time-only return policy (kind of like a get-back-in-jail free card), so Lisa was allowed to reenlist. However, if she bolted again, she would be locked out for good. Abby wondered if this kind of reverse psychology really worked. But Janie seemed hugely relieved. And so far so good. Lisa was still in the treatment facility.

Then there was Marley. It seemed that she and Jack were rekindling their romance, and, as a result, Marley had lost interest in the long-awaited cruise. She even suggested that Abby invite Doris to go in her place.

“But we are the Four Lindas,” Abby had protested. “Not the Three Lindas and one mom.” So Marley promised, rather halfheartedly, that she would still go. But then she confessed that, despite Jack’s claim in having no interest in Sylvia, Marley was still deeply insecure. She worried that Sylvia would work her feminine charms on unsuspecting Jack and steal him away. Of course, Abby had no response to this. To admit to her own insecurity would only reinforce Marley’s doubts, but it was Abby’s experience that men were sometimes jerks.

Then there was Caroline, who’d been privy to all of these wet blankets. Abby suspected that Caroline was simply playing Miss Congeniality, which she did so well, by pretending that nothing was wrong between her and Mitch. But Abby knew better. Mitch had suddenly decided to go home, and on New Year’s Eve no less. Abby wasn’t saying anything, but a man in love doesn’t suddenly dump his date on New Year’s Eve, does he? Not if he’s truly in love. So was Caroline suffering a broken heart in silence? If so, perhaps a warm, sunny cruise with good friends would be just the right medicine.

Then, last and possibly least, there was Abby and Paul. Throughout the holidays, they’d both been on their best behavior, which was nothing to brag about. But with the holidays behind them and real life ahead, Abby felt them starting to unravel again. When Paul missed their scheduled counseling appointment the first week of January, Abby was more than a little miffed.

Still, she was determined not to rock the marriage boat. She was imagining the much bigger boat she’d soon be boarding, as well as the distance she would be putting between her and Paul. Seriously, if Abby didn’t have children and friends, she would be tempted to get off on one of those sunny Mexican ports and refuse to get back on. Who knew? Maybe she would do it anyway. Perhaps she was destined to run a sweet little adobe B and B south of the border.

Finally, the day of the trip arrived, and somehow—to Abby’s utter amazement—all Four Lindas and their bags, which were considerable, were on the flight to San Diego. Once they got settled in, everyone seemed to be in fairly good spirits. They were in even better spirits as they boarded the cruise ship. Best of all, after they’d seen their cabins and changed into more comfortable clothes, they sat on deck in the sun with margaritas in hand.

“To the Four Lindas,” Marley started the toast.

“And to Abby for sharing her dream trip with us,” added Caroline.

“And to our loved ones at home,” Janie said a bit quietly.

“To Mexico!” Abby proclaimed.

“Did you guys know that Paul sent Abby a big bouquet of flowers?” Caroline announced. She and Abby were sharing a cabin. “They were already in the cabin when we got here. Just like in a movie.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of him,” Janie told her.

“And so unlike him,” Abby said wryly. Of course, the flowers made Abby suspicious. What was Paul feeling guilty about, or trying to make up for, or camouflage? What exactly did he plan to do while she was gone? Had she been a fool to leave him home alone?

As she leaned back in the deck chair and sipped her drink, she decided not to go there. No, she refused to let her frets over Paul spoil this week for her. She was going to have fun, and that was all there was to it! Seven days of sun, fun, and friends—what could be better?

It had been Abby’s idea to dress up for dinner on their first night of the cruise, but now she was regretting it. “This dress looked a lot better on me in the shop,” she told Caroline as she scowled at her image in the full-length mirror.

“It’s lovely, Abby. And the blue is perfect with your eyes.” Caroline tucked Abby’s bra strap under the dress’s shoulder. “Just stand up straight. Let’s do something with your hair, and then I’ll help you with your makeup.”

“Good luck.” Abby turned away from her own reflection. “I don’t know what made me think I could look pretty. Honestly, that ship sailed a long time ago.”

“Oh Abby.”

“It’s true.” Abby sighed. “I used to be considered pretty.”

“You still are pretty.”

Abby laughed. “And you still are sweet. But be honest, Caroline, do you remember how I used to look?”

“Of course. You were the prettiest girl in high school. We all remember.”

Abby stood a bit straighter. “Well, some thought you were prettier, Caroline.”

Caroline smiled as she tucked and pinned another strand of Abby’s hair. “I didn’t really come into my looks until my twenties.”

“And when I think of poor Janie back in high school”—Abby chuckled—“skinny as a stick, braces, zits, and that hair.”

“Well, time has certainly been good to her because she’s gorgeous now.”

“I guess it’s only fair,” Abby said. “But I still can’t help but wish to turn back the clock sometimes. It’s not easy getting old.”

“Really?” Caroline peered into Abby’s eyes. “You’d want to do it again?”

“Oh well. Probably not. Not really. I guess I just wish I wasn’t getting old so fast. Honestly, it feels like my aging clock is running a lot faster than some. Like yours and Janie’s. At least I have Marley. She and I can relate.”

Caroline laughed. “Well, Marley is feeling pretty good these days.”

Abby tried not to feel jealous. “Yes, she’s in love.”

“And love can make you feel younger.”

“I suppose.” Abby realized she needed to stop this gloomy attitude before it spoiled the whole evening. “And I suppose that’s why you look so young and radiant too.”

Caroline’s smile faded. “Don’t be so sure.”

Abby regretted her thoughtless comment. She’d forgotten about Mitch’s hasty departure and Caroline’s silence on the subject. “But you do still love Mitch, don’t you?”

“I’ll get some makeup for you. I’ve got a new mineral powder I want you to try. It’s amazing.” Caroline hurried into the bathroom. Maybe it was wrong of Abby to press her. But if they were going to be roommates for a week, wasn’t it better to just get things out in the open?

“First we apply some moisturizer. Give me your hand.”

Abby stuck her hand out, palm up. “But back to you and—”

“The top of your hand.” Caroline turned Abby’s hand over and squirted something creamy onto it.

“Why?”

“Your hands get wrinkled too. Didn’t you know that?” Caroline started rambling about beauty secrets, which Abby was sure was simply a smoke screen, but just in case, she decided to listen. Finally, after a lot of brushing and fluffing and who knew what else, Caroline proclaimed Abby done. “Check it out.”

Abby turned to look at herself in the mirror and actually did a double take. “Not bad, Caroline. I guess I should take your beauty tips more seriously.”

“Maybe so. Don’t be fooled into thinking that women just naturally hold back the years. There are some tricks to aging more gracefully—and I didn’t spend thirty-some years in Hollywood for nothing.” She laughed. “Not that it got me anywhere.”

“I wouldn’t say that. From where I’m standing, your life looks pretty promising. You’re still beautiful, and you managed to catch the interest of a very wealthy man.” Abby made an apologetic shrug. “But if you really don’t want to talk about Mitch, well, I can respect that.”

Caroline’s smile faded. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk about him, it’s just that I’m not really sure how I feel about everything. I think this week will be a good time for me to figure things out.”

“Absolutely. And if you need to talk, I’m here for you.”

Caroline smiled. “For now, I just want to be lighthearted and happy. Okay?”

“You’ve got it.”

To Abby’s delight, it seemed that all Four Lindas wanted to be lighthearted and happy tonight. The four of them were not only the life of the party at their table, where they were seated with two couples—an older couple celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary and a pair of fortysomething newlyweds—but they continued to be the life of the party wherever they went. Before the evening was over, it seemed that most of the people on the ship were aware of the Four Lindas and how Abby had won her trip on the TV show. It almost felt like they were celebrities, and Abby really was having fun! So much so she could almost put her worries behind her. Almost.

The next morning, Abby lingered over breakfast, enjoying an extra cup of coffee after her friends left to do some exploring on the ship. Irene (one half of the anniversary couple) had stayed behind while her husband returned to their room to get her sweater. Although Irene was probably closer to Abby’s mother’s age, as they chatted together it seemed as if she was a peer.

“Bernard and I have certainly had our ups and downs over the years,” Irene was saying. “I’d never try to convince anyone otherwise.”

Abby had already disclosed that although she and Paul had been married a good long time, it was still a little bumpy. “Sometimes I wonder if we can possibly make it to fifty,” Abby confessed.

Irene nodded with a knowing expression. “Yes, I remember feeling that way too. But, looking back, I can say that it was well worth the effort. So many experiences and history and family are shared. How do you replace those things?”

“That’s true.” Abby took a sip of coffee. “But sometimes I worry that no matter what I do, our marriage is doomed to fail.” She confessed to Irene that she was worried about Paul’s interest in another woman.

Irene sadly shook her head. “Well, a marriage can survive that, too. As long as both parties want it to survive and are willing to forgive. I’m not suggesting it’s easy, just that it’s a worthy investment.”

“I suppose.” Abby felt guilty for having unloaded so much on poor Irene. “Anyway, you are an inspiration to me,” she told her. “I hope Paul and I will be where you and Bernard are too someday.”

Bernard returned with Irene’s sweater. “Care to take a stroll, my dear?”

She smiled up at him and told Abby good-bye, leaving Abby at the table by herself to mull over Irene’s sage advice. On many levels it made perfect sense. But at the same time it sounded impossible. Paul was not Bernard, and Abby was not Irene. She finished the last of her coffee and set out to find her friends.

As she exited the dining room, she reminded herself of her resolve not to obsess over Paul and her marriage. This was her chance to escape all that and just have fun. And what a beautiful place to do it. The blue ocean and blue sky seemed to stretch into eternity. She breathed deeply the fresh sea air as she walked back to her cabin, where she planned to change into some sunning clothes and soak in all the goodness.

In her cabin, she saw the bouquet of flowers—such a pretty selection of festive colors just perfect for a Mexican cruise—and they made her feel guilty. Here Paul had gone to all this trouble, and all she could think were negative thoughts. For that reason, she decided to call and thank him.

When he answered, even after she cheerfully greeted him and profusely thanked him, he sounded glum. “Are you okay?” she asked. His recent heart attack came to mind. Surely he wasn’t having health problems again.

“As okay as I can be.”

“Oh, Paul, are you feeling bad because I’m gone?” She found that hard to believe, but touching.

“Well, yeah. I guess so.”

“Oh, but that’s obviously not what’s troubling you. Is it your health? Do you need to make a doctor’s appoint—”

“No, I’m fine,” he snapped.

“Well, I was just concerned, Paul. No need to get all grumpy about it.”

“I’m sorry, Abby.” He actually did sound contrite.

“What is it, Paul?” She softened her tone. “You really do sound down in the dumps. Is something else wrong?”

“I … uh … I didn’t want to say anything.”

Abby reached for the chair behind her, easing herself down into it, preparing herself for terrible news. “What is it, Paul?”

“Oh Abby, I don’t want to spoil your trip. Just forget about it, okay? Forget I said anything.”

“Paul!” she exclaimed. “Tell me what’s wrong—right now. Just tell me quickly, please. Get it over with.” She took in a deep breath, bracing herself. She knew what it was—Paul was about to tell her the marriage was over, that he’d been seeing Bonnie, and that Abby should start talking to Janie about getting a divorce.

“Oh Abby.” He let out a groan.

“I know it’s going to be bad, Paul. But I swear if you don’t just tell me, I’m going to have a heart attack myself. Honestly, I feel like I can barely breathe. Please, just get this over with.” She really did feel like she should call for the ship’s physician.

“It’s just that, well, business has been slow.”

“I know it’s been slow,” she shot back at him. But she didn’t want to talk about business. “Tell me what’s going on!”

“Well, it’s worse than you know, Abby. It’s bad.”

“What’s worse?” she demanded.

“Business. Aren’t you listening to me?”

“Of course I’m listening. Just spit it out.”

“I’m going bankrupt, Abby.”

“What?” Abby shook her head, took in a deep breath. “This is about your construction business?”

“Yes, that’s what I said, wasn’t it?”

“Well, yes.”

“I didn’t want to tell you. Didn’t want to spoil your trip. I knew it was coming. I’ve been sitting on those lots for too long. But the building just hasn’t picked up, and property prices are still down. I’ve held on as long as I could. But it’s winter again, and it’s just not working. I’m going down … fast.”

“Oh Paul. Are you sure?”

“I just met with the accountant today, honey. He said filing bankruptcy is the only way out. We’ll lose the land, the unfinished houses … even our home.”

“Really?” Her voice sounded hoarse.

There was a long silence. “See, I knew you’d be upset, Abby. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“And that’s everything, Paul?” She waited.

“You mean you want more? How much bad news do you need, Abby? I just told you my whole world is caving in. Isn’t that bad enough?”

“Of course it’s bad, Paul. But we still have each other. Don’t we?”

He let out a long sigh. “Yeah. I guess so.”

His less-than-enthusiastic response hurt.

“Anyway, I hope it doesn’t spoil your trip, Abby. You should get off the phone. I’ve heard these international phone calls cost a fortune.”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious, Abby. Don’t be using the credit cards. The trip is free, right? You shouldn’t be spending at all. We’re going to need every penny we’ve got to survive this.”

“But what about—”

“I mean it, Abby. We’re stretched way too thin. What with my failed business, and your inn, which has been nothing but another expense, we’re losing everything.”

“You mean I’ll lose my bed-and-breakfast too?”

“We were partners in the construction business, Abby. We go down, we go down together.”

“Oh, Paul!” She felt tears coming.

“We can talk about it when you get home, Abby. Sorry to spoil your trip with it. But remember, you forced it out of me. And you’re the one who called. Hang up now, Abby. Save a few bucks.”

They said good-bye and Abby shut off her phone, then sat down and cried. She was relieved that Caroline didn’t return. She went into the tiny bathroom, threw cold water on her face, donned a pair of big sunglasses, and went back out to pretend that nothing whatsoever was wrong.