Insomniac in Fall

Red leaves spread their fever through the trees

and tonight, for the first time,

I lie down alone. Aloneness the body’s own

medication. I will not notice that your absence

enlarges the bedroom walls, or how

the window allows in the large autumn air.

If I prayed, I’d pray: let me leave you, let you

leave me. Tonight I lie, as an animal

should, alone. Tonight I fill my head

with thoughts that do not contain you.

Tonight I ignore the stars that congregate

in a shrug. Tonight I will remember

I sleep, as we all always do, alone.