Chapter 10

Ray sat knee to knee, holding Amy’s hand in his. He tried not to run his hand along the inside of his collar. While he had gotten used to his uniform, this suit was a different matter entirely. From the standing room only crowd, it would appear that everyone in Little Bend had made it out for the wedding today. Nervous energy permeated the entire space in the church. The choir loft was packed, and despite the cold outside, the number of humans gathered was causing the heat to climb.

As the piano started to play the wedding march, Ray tried to keep a dry eye as Jayne, Phoebe, Emma, and six other kids marched up the aisle throwing down red, green, and silver confetti from tiny pouches. The bridesmaids in alternating colors depicting Belle or Margaret’s party came next and filed to the right side at the altar where the groomsmen were already waiting. Finally, the music changed, and Matthew, with Margaret on his arm, started up the aisle. Ray heard Amy sniffle as she watched the procession. He turned to her and offered a handkerchief his mother had always insisted he carry, for just such moments he realized.

As Jack Townsend with Belle started down the aisle, another tiny gasp passed through the place. The best friend brides were stunning and perfectly attired with white dresses, muffs for the cold, and Christmas details in a delicate balance. Luckily Pastor Necome kept the sermon short, Matthew read verses, and soon the new Mrs. Douglas and Mrs. Williams, with their respective husbands, were introduced. Everyone began sojourning down the aisle, making it through the greeting line, and eventually driving to the ranch.

There was brief conversation on the ride as Ray tried to navigate the heaviest traffic he could recall in Little Bend. Every citizen on the road headed in the same direction. He was sure Amy was lost in her thoughts about the wedding as they turned the last corner toward the ranch. It was such a cheerful occasion, but filled with tendrils of grief for those who could not be there, and others who chose not to be there like her brother Ben. These were the tough moments, the big life milestones that loved ones couldn’t celebrate together. It is when you miss those gone from your life the most. He gave Amy the time to center her thoughts for reflection.

The party was in high gear when they finally arrived. Food was being served banquet style to allow for the crowd and the late afternoon time frame. Ray asked Amy if she needed anything, but she shook her head and went into the main seating area. She glanced at the dance floor for a moment and had the oddest look on her face. He had to know what was going on in her head.

“Just thinking,” she said, trying to put him off. He had gotten used to her expressions, and while she was usually even-keeled she was hitting a bit of a rough patch today. He wanted to make it better, but first, he needed to understand.

“I know. I was just wondering, who will walk me down the aisle or dance the first dance?”

Ray, couldn’t talk for a moment. There was no suitable answer, as her father was gone and her brother probably would miss that as well.

“Hey, you are family. If you need someone to walk you down the aisle, after everything you have done for my girls, I’m there.”

“I know that feeling. Sometimes life just doesn’t take the course we had planned. If there is something I have learned this past year, it’s that the family we were meant to be part of, might not look like the one we invented in our heads. They may not be blood, but sometimes it can be something even better than our feeble human brains could have conceived.”

Ray wanted to hug the man as he watched Amy’s smile break through. “Thank you, Grayson, I needed to hear that.”

“I just don’t think you know how much, so many of the families here depend on you and think of you like their own family. They entrust their greatest gifts, their children, to your care, and you deliver every day for them. When you need someone to celebrate with you, trust me, there will be no shortage of takers lining up to help. Now, I have to go find my two hooligans before they eat so much cake they are hanging from the rafters.”

“I do,” she said, following him to the floor. As he encircled her waist, and she rested her head on his chest, everything felt right in the world.

“If you were the bride,” he said, waiting until the meaning of his words sunk in.

“Someday soon, but maybe we should rock, paper, scissors for where we would live first,” she responded.

“I think we can be more adult about it than that,” he replied. “I already put in the transfer paperwork with the department. Luckily, I knew a guy who worked in this section of the county, is single and willing to move.”

“That is really good news because I was ready but not willing to give up my role at Living River to make this work.”

“I know you would have, but they need you there, and you need them more than any job you could have found otherwise.”

“Thank you,” she said, standing up on her toes and planting a small kiss on his lips. “I owe you big time.”

“And we have a lifetime for you to make it up to me,” he said, sealing the promise with a kiss.

Ben stared out the windshield and glanced back at Troy, sleeping in the back of the car. His face was a battered mess, and yet somehow, Ben was grateful. He offered a silent prayer, heavenward.

I know it has been a long time, God, but I need your help. I’ve messed up a lot and burned so many bridges in this lifetime; I’m not sure I deserve the forgiveness I seek. I need it, though, and I hope that Living River Ranch can help my spirit and Troy’s body after a long journey down the wayward road. Please let my sister welcome me, and I promise if you help with this one tiny request, I will stay true and on the right path going forward. Amen.

Ben realized what he was asking and understood if the answer ended up being no. Amy had kept her distance and told him he wasn’t welcome back in her life until he cleaned himself up. The drugs were just a means to dulling the pain after losing their daddy in such a manner as they had; his world had spun out on him. Then buddies lost to senseless military actions across the globe, and other missteps had cost him dearly.

Forgiveness was earned; he could always remember Pastor Necome telling them from the pulpit when he was a kid. He hadn’t earned it yet, but looking into the backseat at his best friend’s battered face, he knew he would have to swallow his pride by putting himself on a better path finding a way home into the hearts of those he felt he could love and cherish. The alternative road he had been on passing from one tough situation to the next had taxed his soul. He knew now his home in Little Bend was calling his name.

As he passed through the sleepy small town, still slumbering, for the most part, he felt a slight hitch in his heart. There were so many great memories of friends, baseball, part-time jobs, high school crushes, and his sweet sister; all left behind by his choices. He saw the cemetery beckoning from just out back of the church and turned the wheel slightly to park to the left of the old white building. Glancing back once again to confirm Troy was still asleep, he unfolded himself from the vehicle.

Slicking his hair back, he tried to straighten the rumpled shirt. His momma would have something to say about his appearance. A tiny tear traveled down his cheek as he put one foot in front of the other and made his way to the tiny plot. When he had left town, it had just been his father resting there, but the new marker announcing his mother had joined his daddy in heaven broke him up. He found himself kneeling in the snow, disregarding the cold.

“I’m sorry, momma,” he whispered. “I should have come back to pay my respects sooner.”

He could see her face float into his mind’s eye and swipe at his nose. She had been the best mother, and yet it hadn’t been enough to curb his anxious soul. He could never explain why he had tried her in the manner he had or chosen to ignore Amy when she left all those messages pleading for his return during the funeral. He wasn’t a strong man, or at least he hadn’t been. Sometimes though, God has a path he intends for you to take, and he always gets his way in the end. The night he found Troy, a dam had broken in his soul. He refused to lose another friend in such a violent manner as the streets and fast lifestyle he had been taking part in. Troy had been one of the good guys trying to help them; it had been unfair what occurred.

Troy had given up on life since that night, and Ben recognized the look when he visited him in the hospital. He also knew of the single place that could heal them both, he had met Troy at the hospital on the day of his discharge, piled him into the car and just drove.

“I miss you too, daddy,” he said slightly. “I’m home now and am going to make amends. I hope you both are happy together, and I plan to make you proud from here on out.”

He hadn’t partaken in a single drug for over six weeks now, starting even before he had met Troy. The pain was keeping him motivated, rather than driving him to suppress it. That was the difference he realized that would get him over the finish line of seeking help to turn this tide into a positive for his life.

As he turned to go, he saw Pastor Necome standing there. The man was a steadying force, and one of the few people who knew so many of his secrets. He walked forward as he opened his arms wide to accept Ben’s entire heaving body.

The sobs wracked his weak frame for several minutes before he felt ready to raise his head.

“I’m a messenger for the best example of forgiveness, Ben. You always have a place in my house, but your true test will come in those you wronged elsewhere.”

“Thanks, it’s been a long time coming. Thank you for helping Amy through momma’s last days, and I’m sure everyone rallied around her.”

“This is Little Bend; you know we did. You made it back in time, though for Ray and her to marry. I’m sure she is going to love having you there.”

Ben broke out in a smile, “I always thought they would find a way back to each other.”

“Life has a funny way of putting you back where you need to be when the time is right, of course.”

Ben nodded, patting Pastor Necome on the shoulder, he wiped his eyes and started toward the car. It was almost opening time at Living River Ranch nursery, and he had a sister to see about a homecoming.