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Belle was at her wits end. It had been a long week full of client appointments eight hours a day, plus the Spring fundraising dinner was tonight, and Reagon had only two days left on the ranch.
She had enjoyed having him here but was becoming more confident by the day that their relationship had run its course. It was making her sad, and she found herself analyzing everything, making mental notes morning to night on all aspects of their relationship. They had similar work ethics, beliefs in family dynamics, and goals for the future. Unfortunately, Belle did not want to live in the city, and for the time being that is where Reagon needed to exist.
If she was being completely honest, Jake’s arrival had not helped tip the scales in Reagon’s favor. The man had captured her attention as no one had before, including Reagon. Reagon and her friendship had progressed over time. Jake, all at once piqued her curiosity, and if she was committed to Reagon in a manner that she thought she was, that should not have occurred. Since then, she had more than once made comparisons of the two of them, and not once had Reagon come out on top.
Jake loved helping people as much as she did. He was pivotal in bringing a traveling nurse to the ranch to assess client’s and employee’s health needs. This new program promoted wellness and minimized the absenteeism of employees.
He was always pitching in, and right from the beginning wanted to be involved. Reagon liked his alone time, which again was not a dreadful thing but had not jumped into any group activities except where she had demanded. She also acknowledged her recent unease with leaving the ranch was not necessarily communicated forthrightly with Reagon. She acknowledged that this was not fair, as Reagon had always been honest about his plans. For years she had thought to be on board with living elsewhere, but back on the ranch after finishing her degree, her outlook was now vastly different.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Reagon’s voice drew her attention.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you,” she said, turning to him with a smile.
“No worries. I just wanted to catch you before the ladies all arrived. You indicated the meeting might last a couple of hours this afternoon and then turn into dinner,” he said, shifting on his feet.
She tried to see his eyes. Reagon’s eyes always gave away what his thoughts were.
“What is up?” She asked.
“I had hoped we might have time to make it into town for some shopping and some us time,” he said, after a moment. “I don’t understand how you fill your time with all these activities that aren’t part of your paying gig.”
“Reagon, you know I love having you here, but I did explain that I would be working. While I do not get paid to do some of these fundraising activities per se, they are critical to the ranch’s existence,” she was trying to draw him out and see what his concerns were.
“Belle, you do realize this is a job. When you move to California no job, you will be looking for will require this level of commitment. I wouldn’t want it to, as I will want you to attend functions and well – I want to be the center of your world, not your job.”
Belle sat absorbing for a moment. “I appreciate your honesty, and I know we had discussed me moving to California at some point. I just must tell you I’m having second thoughts,” she stopped.
This was the moment; whatever she said next would define the rest of her life. She wished her brain would quit racing, and the answers would just appear. Humans, though, are complex and hard creatures, and sometimes there is not the blazing good guy, bad guy, right choice, bad choice option. You just go with your heart and base it on the best information you have.
She sighed, “Reagon,” she said calmly.
“It’s not me; it’s you, right?” He responded with a smile.
“I’m so sorry. I honestly thought after these past few years, that we were going to make it the final stretch. Live happily ever after as Dr. and Mrs. but,” she stopped with a slight shake of her head.
“I know,” he said, “you are different here. Not the Belle, you were in the city. It is this odd focus you have, and so many people need you. When it was just you, me, school and a few friends, it was simpler.”
“I loved that life. I could see myself in that life,” she said honestly. Thinking back a year when Margaret had asked her to come help hire a new therapist, she had almost said no. Now, she knew that this was her destiny. The roots that anchored her to the ranch just could not be undone. They ran deep in her veins and her heart.
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I hope you get everything you want,” he said sincerely. “And if you ever make it to California, please call me for dinner.”
She wrapped her arms around him, “I know you will keep chasing those big awesome dreams of yours. Someday I will see your name being recognized for a cure to cancer.”
“I’m going to give it everything I have,” he said, with a final squeeze. “Bye, Belle.”
“Bye, Reagon,” she said, finally losing her grip.
As he turned and walked away, she waited for the regret to hit. It never did. When he turned to wave one last time, it was with a sense of relief. As he reached his car, she turned and headed to the fundraising committee meeting feeling a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
