Chapter One
His car was like a gigantic magnet pulling him. Or at least that’s how he wanted it to seem. Keithe rushed out the kitchen’s door to his car he had parked on the outside of the garage. He was ever so grateful to Michelle for allowing him to finally leave peacefully. The last time she had actually barricaded herself in front of the door.
Keithe was tired, very tired, of reinventing the wheel. No, he was sick and tired of taking all the blame. He partially did so, so that the questions, all of the small talks, would stop. Another reason was, well, he was to blame, or so he figured.
In all actuality, it had been his fault for staying in a marriage far too long, a dead-end marriage at that. It no doubt was his fault for putting up a front, thinking that if Michelle had done this, if she’d done that, things would be okay. But when it was all said and done and his wife had been born again, there was still a hole.
No matter how many sorry pouts Michelle had thrown his way, it was hard to believe he had sacrificed so much for her. One thing in particular was him being a father.
It had been clear from the beginning. It wasn’t that Michelle couldn’t have children; it was that she wouldn’t. “I’m not mommy material,” Michelle would reiterate each time Keithe asked about starting a family. After a while he just accepted that he loved her enough to believe his being a father just hadn’t been meant to be. Now forty-three, single, and not even so much as a prospect in his life, Keithe got mad just thinking about what could have been.
He took nothing from accepting Stoney as his. Keithe had welcomed her with open arms and graciously became a father overnight. Literally. But with Stoney there were no first steps or late-night feedings to go along with his new role.
It was just the realization of how Michelle said she had never wanted to be a mother when in fact she had been one all along. She had worn the title for twenty-one years without acknowledging it at all. Keithe was still clueless about how someone could pull that off. But then he had to realize just who he was dealing with. There were times when he still felt he had been punk’d by Ashton Kutcher.
Even after the dust did settle and Michelle and Stoney reunited, there was that very image of the bond that had grown between mother and daughter, seeing Michelle glow in motherhood. Of course her child was anything but a child, but it didn’t matter. Keithe held some resentment toward his ex-wife. While Michelle and Stoney had one another, Keithe felt as if he had no one. That’s when he knew he didn’t have closure with himself. That was what eventually led to the divorce.
Now with everything spilling over with him having to convince Stoney she hadn’t come along and messed up their marriage, Keithe really didn’t know if that was the truth. Would he have stayed if Stoney never made her entrance? Keithe thought over and over. Ultimately, he knew that was blame he couldn’t put off on anyone but him and Michelle: himself for staying too long and Michelle for never being honest with herself; therefore, not being able to be totally honest with him.
After their divorce two years ago, it hadn’t taken Keithe but a second to figure out a game plan. When realization hit like a ton of bricks after all the residue of their tumultuous marriage settled, Keithe found himself thinking beyond Houston. He didn’t want to go far, leaving his parents behind, but he wanted to go far enough to start a new life. That new life for him now resided somewhere he’d only visited. Home for Keithe was now in Dallas.
Hours had passed since Keithe was finally able to leave the premises of the home he and Michelle had had designed and built from the ground up. After stopping and visiting with his parents, Keithe made his way on to the highway as he settled into the full-sized bucket seat of his upgraded Porsche. Having traded his two-door prized possession, the black-on-black Porsche of his dreams, Keithe knew he was getting ready for something new to fall into his life when he purchased the four-door Porsche Panamera: his new black. Whoever she was, his new lady, he was going to floss with her in style.
There was no doubt he was already a husband. Just because he was no longer married didn’t mean he had given up on love. The desire embedded in him was what kept him going; that and his desire to be a daddy to a baby who would look just like him. He wasn’t giving up on being a father. Keithe thought that surely if Hollywood stars could have babies in their mid-fifties and beyond, a child of God, a believer as himself, would be able to keep up with his kiddos.
Maybe a girl who looks like her mother ... nahhhh. Who am I kidding? I need a little Keithe who looks just like his handsome daddy, Keithe often played over and over in his mind.
He had gone out on a few dates in the last two years but things were way different. Over twenty years ago when he was single and in his early twenties, Keithe’s morals and desires for a mate hadn’t been what they now were, as someone who had a relationship with Christ, was honest, trustworthy, and respectful. Back then, all a woman had to have were happy lips and healthy hips. Although he had no plans on turning down his wife-to-be, if hips were attached, now in his forties, he knew there was much more than what the eye could see.
Just as his mind soared back to Michelle and her comment about a love affair that didn’t exist, Keithe shook his head at the courage of the woman he’d chosen as a wife and how she pulled out a low blow.
“Wondering what woman I’m running back to. Umph. The nerve,” he said aloud. Especially when Michelle was dating a deacon from the church they used to attend together. Matter of fact, she was dating a brother who Keithe had actually liked and called a friend. But, regardless, he had given his blessing on their dating; anything to get her out of his bald head. Yet it appeared sweet Michelle couldn’t seem to do the same.
Laughing at Michelle’s antics, Keithe’s thoughts were jolted when his phone rang in its holster attached to the dash. Although he didn’t hesitate to answer, for a moment he felt guilty when he realized Michelle may have been more right than he wanted to let on.
“Hello,” he greeted the caller.
“Hi there, Deacon Morgan. Did I catch you at a bad time?” Evangelist Clark, a hard worker and servant of the Lord who attended the same church he attended, rang through on the other end.
With an added smile to the smirk he held when he’d first seen her telephone number pop up on his screen, Keithe was ready for conversation. Or so he hoped.
“Uh, yes. No. Well, uh. No.” He took a breath. Just like all the other times, anytime he was in the young woman’s presence, even via the telephone, Keithe couldn’t get his mojo to work. He may have been an award-winning attorney, winning a number of high-profile cases under his skilled title, but when it came to Evangelist Kenya Clark, his get up and go always sat down.
“I mean,” he pouted, “I’m available.” He winced and silently hit his steering wheel, hoping he didn’t sound as though he was giving himself away to the highest bidder. But then again ...
There was something about the saved thirty-something woman of God he had finally gotten to know within the last year. For the first year being at the church, he admired her from afar. When it came time for him to get more involved in the church and allow his own ministry to grow, Keithe took the first opportunity that presented itself.
The men and women of the church were asked to volunteer their time and efforts in helping to build a new support system for divorcees. Without hesitation, Keithe knew it was meant for him: helping other divorcees heal from broken marriages while healing himself at the same time. The group was titled Physically Divorced, Spiritually Married, and it just so happened Evangelist Clark had been attached to the opportunity. All Keithe could think was God was good all the time, and all the time God was good.
“What can I help you with?” he finally managed to get out.
“Oh, I wanted to remind you about Sunday School in the morning. We are going to officially kick off our once-a-month Sunday morning worship with the group.” Kenya shared a smile through the phone.
And maybe I’ll just have the courage to ask you out for dinner. Officially, he thought.
The two had gone on numerous outings, lunch and even dinner. But the divorce group was always the reason behind their getting together, or at least for Evangelist Clark it had been. Every time they’d met it was on Keithe’s mind to ask her out on an official date, but he couldn’t bring his nerves under submission.
“Sounds like a plan. I am driving in now from Houston, so I will no doubt be there in the morning.”
“Oh?” Her voice held a question. “I didn’t know you were going out of town or I would have changed the date.” Kenya wanted to be fair. “Did you only come back for the group? You should have told me, I would have—”
“No. There is absolutely no problem. I was just visiting my wife, ah, I mean, my ex-wife and daughter. I mean, ah, stepdaughter.” Keithe wished he could just hang the phone up and be done.
Another “oh” was all she responded with. Kenya bit down on her bottom lip and waited for his response. Always wanting to know the depth of who Deacon Morgan was, Kenya dared not ask or show any interest. Dealing with her own disclosed issues was enough.
Everything was still new to him. He didn’t know what was politically correct and what wasn’t when it came to bringing up his past. Hoping he didn’t share too much, or disrespect his family, Keithe changed the subject.
“Well, while I have you on the line, Sister Clark, let me ask you—” Before he could finish his intro, his line beeped. “Can you hold, please?” Keithe asked as he rolled his eyes once he realized it was Michelle. Whatever it was she planned to lay on him, Keithe had his mind set to not even buy into it.