Sloan stopped in her tracks, her standard-issue boots squeaking against the linoleum floor. The brief pause nearly caused a collision with the cadet behind her. She could feel a weight in the room, the claustrophobic air tightening around her. She ran her thumbs down the edges of her food tray and swallowed the metallic taste of despair that rolled over her tongue as she locked eyes on the empty space at Table 27 . . . the space where Tandy had eaten all of her meals for the past fourteen years. She snatched a breath with pursed lips, glancing up to the digital clock that hung above the food-processing row. It was indeed 7 a.m.
Sloan had never arrived before Tandy.
A nudge in her back from the tray of another student spurred her forward. She walked to Table 27, eyes narrowing and shoulders back. Everyone except Tandy was there. She tried to catch Jared’s eye, but he was intently speaking to Paul. Looking away because you know I want to talk?
Everything was normal—the smells of their breakfast plates, the bustling of early-risen students, the droning chatter of peers. Everything was normal except every day before this Tandy had filled the space on the bench opposite Paul.
And this morning she didn’t.
Sloan found her own habitual spot, opposite Jared. She stared at him, feeling uncomfortable at the table, never having sat here without her best friend beside her. “When did it happen?” Her voice was quiet and tense.
Jared took a sip of his coffee, finally looking at her and holding her stare with his brilliant blue eyes. “Dawn.”
Jared, as captain, had seniority over her. He would have been there, informed ahead of time to escort Tandy to the Order. She studied his cobalt eyes, dark blue with gilded flecks. Were these eyes the last Tandy had seen? Sloan’s mind flashed with an image of Tandy, but all she could imagine was a white sheet over her slender ebony body, a clinically sterile room—a beautiful girl in a crematorium. Sloan’s throat tightened. Keep it together, Radcliffe.
“Is that why you were out of bed so early this morning?” Her tone silenced the rest of the group—she knew how protective the table could be of their captain. She didn’t care if they disapproved; he might be their captain, but she was their lieutenant.
He nodded slowly. It was clear he had anticipated her anger, and for some reason that made her angrier, wondering how he could keep something like this from her. She took a deep breath and looked around the group, but as each one of them met her stare, they quickly looked away. She wanted to hear her friends speak, to know what they knew, the extent to which they cared—but they wouldn’t meet her gaze. She had trained them to fear her volatile nature. The way Jared had taught her.
“Has anyone seen Kenneth?” she pressed. No one answered. Mika moved food around aimlessly while Paul sipped his juice—all their gazes were cast downward.
Kenneth, a lieutenant on Table 93, was Tandy’s boyfriend. They had not yet gotten been engaged but everyone had been certain of their betrothal. Now they would never match, never marry. Tandy would . . . never.
Erica finally spoke. “I saw him at the Infirmary before I got here. He’s taking the day off.” She sounded so fine. Sloan stared at the girl, causing Erica to look away, flicking her long hair over her shoulder and leaning into Devon, her own partner. Intimidated, but not as subordinate as Sloan would have her be. No wonder they love Jared and still hate you. . .
Sloan cleared her throat before speaking, pushing the pathetic thought out of her mind. “Tie your hair back.” She watched as Jared leaned past Paul to see if Erica had actually been sitting there with her hair loose. Sloan locked in on Jared.
How could he have let this happen? How could he have kept this from her?
“You could have told me.”
“No, Sloan, I couldn’t have. You know as well as I that these things are never announced beforehand, to avoid any spectacles . . . anything that might interrupt the scheduled proceeding.”
You mean to avoid “this,” she thought, hearing the rebuke in his voice.
“You should have told me. She was my . . .” Sloan began, but let her voice trail off. Tandy was her best friend. Her only friend. The only one who had ever appreciated her leadership and guidance. She grabbed for her coffee. It tasted stale and too hot. Jared leaned towards her, lowering his voice.
“To what end? To see you devastated before it happened, or worse, to see you try to intervene?”
“I could have done something. I could have put in an appeal. This was over that exam, wasn’t it?”
“You couldn’t have done anything. She failed twice. We all know the rules.”
That’s not the point.
The rest of the group shifted away from them, making idle conversation to disguise the fact that they were actually listening. She needed to stay calm.
She failed at that.
“Dammit, Jared . . .” She hated him for letting her find out this way, for feeling so ambushed. She should have known before the rest of them.
He should have told me.
Jared shot a glance over the surrounding tables. “Can we just talk about this later?”
Sloan followed his eyes over the large hall, filled with meticulously lined tables. Tables that held families of cadets, lieutenants and captains. That’s what your table was. Assigned to you in childhood for the entirety of your training, those on your table were your brothers, sisters, partners and trainers. They were responsible for your life, and you theirs, but the minute someone became a liability they were culled from the family.
If the enemy ever came for the person sitting next to you, well, you were expected to throw your own body in the way. You were expected to defend them to the death . . . but if the Order demanded their head, you were expected to step back and let it happen.
Because the Order knows best . . . Cull the few to save the many.
Jared was right in wanting to hold off. With their senior rankings they had authority over most of the students around them, on 27 and the surrounding tables. It was important for them to set a standard of appropriate conduct. This was neither the time nor the place. She shot him a knowing look. We are finishing this later, though.
“Forget about it. It’s nothing we can’t work out in training.” She zeroed in on the group. “Paul, how is your jiujitsu coming along?”
He shrugged, answering her between bites of food. “It’s okay.”
“Good. I will be testing that in training today.”
Paul’s head dropped. “Can I just train in group for the next week and then by Monday—”
Jared cut him off. “You can fight Sloan or you can fight me—the choice is yours—but don’t speak back to her again, Paul.”
Paul sighed. “Sorry. I’ll take Sloan.”
Jared reached across the table, resting his hand on top of hers. She mouthed a silent thank you to him and he winked at her nonchalantly.
It was no secret that there was a fraction of students within the Academy who excelled beyond the rest. From the day they arrived they had all worked to achieve their military ranks. From seven to fifteen, you were a basic cadet, but after that, meritocracy took over. Those awarded rank had proven their superior ability, academically and martially. And while they all wore the same navy blue uniform—cargo trousers and fitted shirts—their rankings were defined by gold sleeve stripes, distinguishing captains like Jared from lieutenants like Sloan and from second lieutenants and cadets, like the rest of 27.
Sloan’s hand twitched under Jared’s. She loved him with her entire heart, but his touch, which usually rendered her so calm, seemed ineffective today. She could feel anger and frustration swelling through her muscles.
She was ready to fight.
Paul lunged carelessly. Sloan grabbed his wrist, twisted inward and pulled him past her. He buckled at the waist and she held his arm up behind him. He collapsed, tapping the floor for a break. She released him and stepped back.
“I feel like you haven’t made any progress. How are you going to survive the war when you can’t get through a simple spar?”
Paul rolled over, squeezing his arm. They trained all their lives to prepare for the war on the mainland; the one thing they knew for certain was that if you couldn’t fight in here, you had no chance of surviving out there.
“You could take it easy on him, Sloan,” Mika piped up.
Sloan spun on the girl, shooting her a warning glance. “Concentrate on your own training.”
Sloan was close to the others on her table but they didn’t understand. They drifted through the Academy, perhaps trying harder than some, but never truly pushing themselves to keep up with Sloan and Jared. This lackluster approach to Academy life was why Tandy was gone.
Why so many of them were gone. The Order removed the weak.
“Get back to work, Mika,” Jared called over, lending Sloan his authority—not that she should need it after all these years. Still, the others naturally fell in line when Jared asked.
Sloan snaked circles around Paul, letting him recover. They were in the training hall, a massive combat arena with synthetic polymer floors. In the corner was a fight simulator with three-dimensional holographic assault courses; rows of hand-to-hand weapons donned the walls; and on the periphery were viewer stands, to sit and watch fights take place.
For the sake of solidarity, most students were allowed to train in their own groups without interruption, especially if their group had a captain. At times they were mixed in with other tables by trainers, the combat experts who answered to their general, Walt Stone. She glanced over to Stone as he marched through the hall, overseeing spars and barking orders.
Jared was training Devon and Erica simultaneously, easily deflecting their assaults. As they strained for breath, he effortlessly called out orders. He was an incredible fighter and a good teacher, managing to direct complex sequences and explain intricate moves. He caught her watchful gaze and offered her a smile. She hated that even when she was this angry, she couldn’t ignore that disarming smile. Just as she turned away from him he called out her name—but it was too late.
Sloan fell to her knee, resting one hand on the floor to regain her balance. Her skin felt alight; a fire was burning between her jaw and eye. Paul had punched her.
He sucker punched you. . .
She shook her head and blinked away a stinging tear. She wanted to grab her face, to rush to Jared, but acting like a victim was how you lost. Sloan was no victim. She quickly focused her thoughts, thankful that even as her gaze blurred, she managed to catch Paul’s foot flying towards her—he was still attacking her.
Finally, getting the fight she had longed for.
The sensation she felt was instantaneous. It was animalistic—her basic nature springing forth. A calm reserve overcame her entire body. Any thoughts, any feelings, dissipated as her tunnel vision kicked in. A steady breath filled her with a blind commitment to one singular goal—winning.
She deflected his next kick, pivoted on her knee and jumped up. She spun around, ready, but Paul was already pinned in a headlock, being choked down. She first thought it had been Jared, rushing in to defend her, but it wasn’t him. It took her a moment to recognize Elijah Daniels, the captain from Table 82. The captain she had never spoken to. Why was he intervening in her fight? He has no right . . . She grabbed Elijah’s wrist and twisted it counterclockwise, freeing Paul.
Elijah shot her a confused look and it took all her might to not lay into him too.
Does it look like I need your help?
Defending her in front of so many students made her look weak. He knew that. They all knew that. He began to step in her way and she viciously shoved him back. As he stumbled away, she caught sight of his eyes. It was the first time she had noticed that his were the brightest green she had ever seen. A hunter’s green, a verdant shade found in the forest, in the rivers of the woods. A shade of green that could momentarily distract her from her rage . . . but only momentarily. She tore away from him and descended on Paul.
Ignoring Paul’s surrendering hands, she landed a roundhouse kick against the side of his head, flipping him onto his back. He leaped to his feet—which would have impressed her ten minutes ago—only for her to connect a series of punches to his neck and face. When he intuitively put his arms out, she grabbed his wrist, twisted it outward, curved it into his body and flipped his heavy frame over her. She held on to his wrist as he lay on his stomach, kneeling on his back, outstretching his arm high up behind him. Without hesitation, she shoved it unnaturally downward, towards the space parallel his bloodied face. The cracking of his shoulder rippled through her, startling her enough to free him.
Suddenly, Sloan was in someone’s arms, being hauled away from her fight. Without thinking, she elbowed back at whoever held her, connecting with a jaw.
“Dammit!” a voice yelled.
It was Elijah Daniels. Again.
She spun around but before she could say anything to him, Jared appeared, standing in front of her. He faced off with Elijah.
“Back off, Daniels.” His voice was a low commanding growl.
At his words Sloan realized the entire auditorium had gone silent, and a group of students had circled to watch her fight. General Stone stood there, amongst the students, staring at her with wide-eyed shock. She glanced over their stunned expressions, over Stone’s stern face, to Paul, who was writhing on the ground. She could taste blood on her lip and remembered how she had lost her temper in the first place. Elijah was the first to leave, weaving past Jared and disappearing into the crowd.
Jared spun around and stared at her with a surprised look in his eyes. His shock subsided as he slowly regarded her injured face. He brought his hand up and gently cupped her cheek. He didn’t care that they were in front of a crowd. He didn’t care that they were in front of the general. Jared and Sloan had many things in common—tunnel vision amongst them. He only saw her.
She rested her hand against his, lowering it slowly. I’m okay, I promise.
General Stone stepped forward, gesturing to two cadets and pointing to Paul. “You two, get him to the Infirmary.” The students hesitantly approached, warily watching Sloan. As soon as they reached Paul they heaved him up, ignoring his cry of pain as they backed away from her quickly. Sloan could see Paul’s red hair was matted in blood, a crimson stain over his skin and shirt. She knew she had lost her temper too easily, but her face throbbed, her skin prickled uneasily . . .
He deserved it.
Stone took another step forward. “The rest of you, hit the showers and get ready for classes.”
Jared remained in front of her, shielding her from Stone’s anger. “General, are we excused?”
“You are, Dawson,” Stone said, looking straight past him to see Sloan. Jared hesitated before slowly walking away, waiting with the rest of 27. The general looked her up and down. “Save the rage for this month’s Fight Night, Lieutenant.”
Sloan stood up straight and nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“You’re excused,” he said. “The both of you.” He had obviously known Jared would be waiting for her behind his back. Without saying another word, Stone walked away from them, heading to the back of the hall where his office was. She was embarrassed for losing her temper, for turning training into an actual fight. Losing Tandy, and Paul’s cowardly attack, had set her off. Embarrassed for losing control—but not apologetic.
Why should I be sorry? I am what they made me to be. I did what I was trained to do. She repeated her silent mantra as she turned to leave.
She wanted to head straight to Jared, straight for the door, but the others on 27 blocked her path.
Sloan looked at the wall Erica, Mika, Will and Devon made. Crossed arms and horrified expressions.
“What?” Sloan barked. She could feel blood pulsating from her lip and near her eye. She ran her hand over her face, wiping it away.
“You’re angry that Tandy is dead so you break Paul’s shoulder?” Erica accused.
Hearing the truth spoken aloud for the first time, that her best friend was dead, overwhelmed Sloan. She could feel her heart pounding, a drumming of blood pulsating through her limbs, her fingers twitching anxiously at her side. She had only ever been close to one other student who had been Dismissed—Luke Maxwell. He hadn’t been on her table, but they had formed a friendship nonetheless. She could remember Luke telling her he had been requested to go before the Order. She could hear the conviction in his voice when he spoke his last words to her. “If they kill me, don’t let it kill you.”
Sloan pushed the memory away, regarding Erica with a stern expression. She narrowed her gaze on her subordinate. “Who the hell do you think you are? Standing here, waiting to question me about my choices.”
She took an angry step towards the group. “What I am angry about is that the only people on 27 who haul ass are Jared and I. You guys barely make the cut. It’s like you’re waiting to be Dismissed.”
They glared at her with defiance. Apparently hearing the truth out loud hurt them too. Good, Sloan thought, maybe they’ll realize how serious this is.
Mika shook her head. “You can be such a bitch, Sloan.”
I am what they made me to be.
“Do you think I care that I ‘can be such a bitch’? I am pushing you; I am trying to keep you alive. Now, get the hell out of my way and think about the fact that you and Erica will be training with me for all of tomorrow’s session and you better be damn well ready for it.”
She could feel Jared reaching for her hand. He was going to calm her, going to speak on her behalf . . . but she didn’t want to hear it. She jerked away from him and broke through the group. Shoving the door open, she rounded the corner quickly, immediately knocking into someone leaning against the wall.
It was Elijah Daniels. Of course it’s you again, she thought angrily, regaining her footing. He turned and looked down at her expectantly, as though he had been waiting for her. His dark hair was messy—barely regulation—his wide jaw clenched, his broad shoulders pulled back tight. He was tall too, towering over her by several inches. Immediately—oddly—Sloan felt self-conscious, wiping at her bloodied face quickly, and then she felt self-conscious for feeling self-conscious. Why do you care what he thinks of you?
She crossed her arms, refraining from messing with her appearance. “What’s your problem?”
He leaned over her with his imposing form. “What’s my problem? What is your problem? I was trying to help you.”
She shook her head at him, feeling her honey-blond hair stick against her bloodied forehead—her braid must have come loose. “I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help. You’re not even on my table—you have no right intervening in my training.”
He stood up straighter at her words, a look of reproach in his eyes. “I am a captain—I have every right to intervene in that hall. I take rank over you and the redhead.”
He’s pulling rank on me? It was one thing to hear it from General Stone, quite another to get a lecture from this guy.
“You may be captain, but so is Jared, and if he thought intervening was necessary, he would have.”
Elijah huffed, a cynical expression playing over his face. “If your boyfriend cared about you having a beat-up face then he would have done something.” The deliberate disgust in the way he referred to Jared confused her.
Do you even know Jared by more than reputation? she thought, knowing the jealous dislike so many of their peers had for her and her partner.
She shook her head at him. “Jared cares. He just doesn’t leap at opportunities to make me look weak, and helpless, so thanks for that, Captain.”
Sloan didn’t know why, amidst her sarcasm, her voice sounded unnaturally doubtful. She knew Jared would have intervened—he had done it before.
She had been fifteen at the time, sparring with Joshua Bleak, a senior boy. Joshua had been faster, stronger, infinitely more capable than her. He had a renowned temper, but she hadn’t known before their spar that Joshua had a darkness in him too. A sadist, he relished beating her and laughed as he dominated their spar. Before any trainers had even noticed their unsanctioned fight, Jared had intervened, but not before Joshua had broken her eye socket and three ribs.
The memory filled her mind. She had felt her ribs crushing underneath the strength of Joshua’s hands. She had tried everything she knew and none of it worked. He had been relentless in his assaults and it had terrified her. She had screamed for Jared, knowing that wherever he was, he would come for her. And he had. Jared, at fifteen, had already become a champion fighter who could contend with senior boys. Which, it turned out, put a target on Sloan’s back. She could remember waking up in the Infirmary to see Jared, watching her. “What happened today made us both look weak, Sloan.”
His words had hurt, so surely they had been the truth.
Elijah shook his head at her. “Defending you makes you look weak? Come on, you’re a seventeen-year-old girl who got decked by a guy twice your size and you broke his shoulder. No one thinks you’re the weak one.”
Sloan thought of Joshua Bleak again, visiting her in the Infirmary. She had woken up to find him sitting right beside her. His mere presence had set her heart monitor off, filling the room with urgent crying beeps. “You let the entire Academy know that Jared Dawson has an Achilles’ heel.” It was as if he had been echoing what Jared had already told her. He had stood and smiled at her, leaning over to brush her hair out of her face. And in that moment, all she had hoped for was that Jared would come help her again.
That day changed everything. She wouldn’t be anyone’s Briseis. She would never be the reason Jared got hurt, even if he was the reason she was.
Sloan struggled to hold Elijah’s intense gaze. “What’s your point?”
“If you were my betrothed, I wouldn’t let someone mess up your face like that.” Elijah slowly raised his hand, as if to touch her cheek. Suddenly, he recoiled, thinking better and letting his hand fall.
What the hell was that?
For a moment—the briefest of moments—Sloan fell for his words. There was a small part of her that had once wished she didn’t always have to be the strongest, be the hardest, fastest and most vicious. A small part of her that had wished she didn’t have to be the best or the bravest . . . But Jared had loved those qualities in her, and, more importantly, she had loved them too. She loved them more than she loved the idea of being cherished and protected. Being too strong was better than being any form of weak.
She narrowed her eyes on him, pushing away the thoughts of a world where she didn’t always have to be the best, be the ‘bitch’ she was known to be. “Well, I am not your betrothed. Wake up, Captain. I don’t need protecting.” She moved to sidestep him but he grabbed her arm, holding her near. He ducked low, bringing his mouth to her ear.
“Need protecting? No, I wouldn’t say you need it, but you damn sure deserve it.”
His breath trailed over her skin like smoke, leaving the taste of his words, causing her skin to quiver and her to become acutely aware of their closeness. She jerked her arm free and walked away from him, trying to shake off the feeling that being close to him had left her with. She gnawed on her lip, wondering why his words had rattled her so deeply, and the feeling didn’t dissipate until she realized the truth. She had once wished for Jared to say them to her.
As soon as she got in the pod she took a deep breath. The shell-shaped elevators were large enough to fit ten people when everyone sat on the white leather sofa that curved around the wall. Since childhood, Sloan had thought that being inside the pod was what it would be like to be inside an egg. The pods traveled in all directions—upward, downward, sideways, like veins through the Academy body—and they were constantly in use. She was blissfully thankful she had this pod to herself at this particular moment. She quickly punched her living quarters’ code into the keypad, and as the doors slid shut behind her, she caught her reflection in the mirrored walls.
Her blond hair was stained with the blood that streaked across her pale face. She was a mess, with a cut over her lip and one under her eye. Paul had hit her hard; she already had a bruise forming over her cheekbone. She sat down and cradled her head in her sore hands. She hadn’t meant to lose her temper like that, to make a spectacle of her rage once again . . . She knew how they felt, 27 and the rest of them, they all hated her. They tolerated her because Jared loved her. She couldn’t blame them. She was the drill sergeant they’d never asked for. Couldn’t they tell that she did it all for them? That she had forsaken any sort of weakness to be the best, to be the chosen one, the champion who would keep them alive?
I am what they made me to be . . . It wasn’t her fault. The Order and her mentors had designed her to perfection. She and Jared were their elite soldiers—they were what they were supposed to be. Why did it bother the others so much? And why is it bothering me so much? I’m the archetype—I am what they wanted. I will keep the rest of them alive out there.
She wasn’t used to second-guessing herself . . . or feeling self-conscious. She had long ago embraced the title of martinet, forsaking any childhood delusions of protection and chivalry, of fear or weakness. If she was going to be an Academy soldier then she was going to be the best. Jared wouldn’t settle for anything less and neither would she.
This was all because of Tandy. The death had rattled her too greatly, and she knew that she needed to move on, to let this go . . . And yet, it seemed an impossible task. She had experienced loss before but never of this caliber. She couldn’t imagine what Kenny was feeling.
How could you survive losing the one you loved?
Sloan thought about the next Betrothal Calling—it would be soon. How could she go and watch all the pairings that would occur, or more importantly, the ones that wouldn’t? Her own Betrothal Calling had been one of the greatest nights of her life—everything she had worked so hard for had been given to her that night when it was confirmed that she and Jared were truly meant to be. Tandy had deserved a moment like that.
Sloan stepped out of the shower to find Jared standing there, holding out a towel. He shook his head at her, eyeing up her face. She grabbed the towel from him and wrapped it tightly around herself. He took her hand and pulled her to him, inspecting her face closer.
“I could kill Paul for doing this to you.”
“If you were my betrothed I wouldn’t let someone mess up your face like that . . .” Sloan shook her head. Why am I so fixated on what Elijah said?
She pulled away from him, moving into the bedroom. He followed her closely. “I will have him running 10 k’s a day for this.”
Sloan glanced back at him over her shoulder. “He’s got a broken shoulder, Jared.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, a broken shoulder, not a broken leg.”
Sloan opened her dresser drawer, pulling out a fresh uniform. “We need to get a training session in this week. I should have never been blindsided like that.”
“You can take it easy for a few days; you took a big hit.”
Sloan spun on him, raising her brow questioningly. “From Paul. I’m fine.”
If I am so fine, why are my hands shaking?
“You lost your temper today, Sloan. You went full fighter-mode and you can’t do that with 27.”
Sloan shook her head with annoyance. “You have got to stop babying them, Jared.”
He sat on the bed, letting her continue to get ready. “I’m not babying them. I just see them for what they are.”
Sloan dried her body off and began to dress, knowing they needed to get to class soon.
“And what’s that?”
“Students.”
She pulled her trousers up, fumbling with the zip. “They are soldiers.”
“No, you’re a soldier.”
She studied him hard—knowing his sentiment was meant to be a compliment. But then why does it sound like I’m being singled out? You’re the same as me.
Being a soldier was her identity—she was the best because she worked the hardest. Being a soldier wasn’t only all she knew, it was all she had been made to be, all she had ever known how to be—it was what defined her as Jared’s perfect partner. If he was the best he had to be with the best.
She shook her head, clearing her mind. “Well, they need to work harder. We need more sessions with them.”
Jared nodded. “I agree. I wouldn’t be surprised if Paul got pulled up for Review for today’s debacle.”
Sloan froze. She imagined Paul going to Review—any failure to excel could land you in Review, where the Order could give you a warning or sentence you to Dismissal. She imagined Paul being Dismissed. Like Luke Maxwell had been.
Like Tandy.
“No . . . we can’t lose anyone else to them.”
Jared arched a brow at her. “Them?”
“I mean the Order.”
“There is no them. It’s all of us—Academy and Order—together as one.”
“I know that,” she answered. You know I know that.
He stood, nearing her. “I’m going to hop in the shower and then we need to get back to class.”
“Okay.” She nodded.
He smiled and stripped his shirt off. Sloan couldn’t pinpoint the day Jared had changed, when his small frame had been reshaped into the body of a man—which was surprising, since she had never taken her eyes off him.
“Jared, one more thing.”
He nodded, waiting.
“Why did Elijah Daniels intervene in my fight today? Do you know him?”
His face hardened under her words and she could see his fingers twitching. Jared shared her temper and she looked out for his tells as keenly as he did for hers.
What is making you so mad?
“Let me deal with that, Sloan.”
“Jare—”
But he cut her off. “You’re done with Elijah Daniels, okay?”
It wasn’t really a question. His words were a command. She said nothing, but they both knew her silence was not a mark of subservience. Slowly, he smiled and walked past her, stepping into their bathroom.
Sloan listened to the pour of the shower and sat on the bed, trying to make sense of Jared’s quick attitude change and evasiveness. What had happened between him and Elijah that she didn’t know about?
As a couple, they had experienced jealousy before—she had always known that half the Academy dreamed of being paired with Jared Dawson. But Sloan had also always known, in her heart, that she was the only one for him. No one else would be able to hear the difference in his voice, the one that revealed that even when his words sounded like a request they were actually an order. No one else could calm his temper, as he alone, in turn, could calm hers. No one else could read his thoughts, could think like him, strategize like him and work as hard as him. She was his perfect partner—and nothing in life brought her more joy.
Sloan reached into her bedside dresser drawer and pulled out the small worn photograph that she kept in there. It had been taken on the night of her Betrothal Calling. Sloan was wearing her white dress, Tandy’s bronzed arms locked around her.
Love is vulnerability.
She wouldn’t be in this much pain if she hadn’t loved her friend so greatly. It was odd, Sloan thought, that when they spent their entire lives training to become the perfect soldiers, they hadn’t figured out how to stop loving, how to stop wanting . . . Sloan knew now that she only had one remaining weakness—only one remaining vulnerability. She needed him to be the strongest, the fastest; she needed him to be the best—to ensure he never got hurt, because if Jared got cut, Sloan bled.
He stepped back into the room, a towel wrapped around his waist. “Are you ready?”
Sloan thought about the question, tossing the photograph back into the drawer. She eyed him from head to toe. They were truly in love and it weakened them both. It’s why they trained so hard . . . They were responsible for their lives because they both knew that if one of them died out there—it would kill the other.
“Yes, I’m ready.”