“WOULD YOU COME INTO the den, dear?”
Eve stopped eating.
She knew.
She knew from Mommy’s tone of voice.
Nice.
And worried.
Nice and worried was a bad combination.
But why? Why now?
Because I need to know sometime, Eve thought.
Mommy and Daddy had never told her the truth about where she came from; they didn’t want to admit it, but Eve knew, oh, yes she did, it was OBVIOUS, because she didn’t look like them—not in person, not in pictures, not the slightest bit—and just because she was only six years old didn’t mean she was stupid or anything.
“Eve, darling? Did you hear me?” her mom called again.
Eve tried to answer, but no sound came out.
I can’t go in there.
But she had to.
Somebody had to. Or Mommy would get mad.
Eve closed her eyes. She reached into her brain. She could be someone else.
Caroline.
[Yes. That’s me.]
Caroline wasn’t afraid. She had a great big room and her parents weren’t allowed in. She was smart and strong and nothing bothered her.
[I don’t have to go inside until I want to!]
Eve looked up from the kitchen table. “Wait a minute! I’m eating!”
Did Mommy and Daddy yell? No sir, not at Caroline—and you bet they would have yelled at plain old Eve.
Caroline was so cool.
Eve took her time finishing. And then cleared her plate. And then found her yo-yo.
And then went inside.
“Yeah?”
Mommy was sitting on the sofa, Daddy in the armchair. But the TV wasn’t on and they were leaning forward. Smiling.
Sad-smiling.
“Have a seat, dear.”
Think. Say something. Do something.
[Just sit.]
Eve tossed back her hair and sat on the sofa.
“Sweetie…um, remember when your teacher asked everyone in the class to bring in old baby pictures?” Mommy asked.
“And you wanted to know why we didn’t have any photos from the hospital?” Daddy added.
“Or photos of Mommy pregnant?” Mommy said.
Here it comes I hate this no no no
NO…[Yeah. So?]
“I’m sure you’ve been…well, expecting this—? Mommy said.
“Suspecting,” Daddy corrected gently.
“Right. The truth is, Eve, Mommy never was pregnant, because…”
Crying. Mommy was beginning to cry.
I can’t hear the words I CAN’T…
And when Mommy finally said it, when the truth came out exactly the way Eve always thought it would (the A word, the A word), Caroline was history. She faded away, leaving Eve all alone. And Eve was falling, falling into a hole that had no bottom.
“We know how you must feel,” Daddy was saying.
“We love you just the same,” Mommy added. “This doesn’t change anything.”
Yes it does, it changes EVERYTHING.
She wasn’t theirs.
An agency. They got her from an agency.
Somebody you paid money to.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO…
Eve stood up from the sofa. She turned and walked to the bookshelf.
“Eve?” Mommy said.
NOT EVE. I CAN’T BE EVE. And not Caroline, because she ran away.
Alexis.
Yes. That’s who she’d be.
Alexis wouldn’t stand for this. She’d be mad. REAL mad.
[I hate them. I hate their house. HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?]
Eve wrapped her hand around a vase and pulled. With a loud smash, it hit the floor and broke into a million pieces.
Daddy leaped off his chair, but Mommy held him back.
Eve began yanking Mommy’s college books from the shelf. They made a cool swishy noise when they hit the floor with the pages open. Eve burst out laughing.
[WHEEEEEEEEE!]
She ran into the living room. Mommy’s African violets looked so soft and perfect, all bright in the sunlight. She grabbed one of them and crushed it. Then another. The next one came out by the roots.
“Eve, stop that!” Mommy called out.
[You’re not my mommy, are you? I can do whatever I want!]
Daddy was picking up the pieces of broken pottery, on his knees, looking like he wanted to be angry but had forgotten how. “Oh, Eve,” he said.
Stop stop stop what am I doing?
And just like that, Alexis was gone, and Eve was tumbling again, falling hard.
So she thought of Danielle.
Danielle found the whole thing so ridiculous. Daddy on his knees, the purple flowers all crumpled like wilted lettuce.
She began to laugh. She sat on the living room sofa, doubling over.
But the moment she hit the cushions, Mommy sat next to her. And the laughing stopped.
Mommy’s eyes were wide and brimming with tears.
Danielle shouldn’t laugh. She was being so bad.
So who? Who?
Eve reached again.
Maybe Bryann. Sad, delicate Bryann.
Eve could feel the pressure welling up in her eyes.
Then Mommy leaned toward her. And hugged her. And the arms felt the same as always. Big and warm and just right. Like a mother’s.
When the tears came, they weren’t Bryann’s. Or anyone else’s.
They were Eve’s.
And she thought they’d never end.